Home About This Week On Dr. Phil DrPhil.com
August 11th, 2009 by Dr. Phil

Age and Childbearing

pregnancy2

How old is too old for a woman to give birth? In her 40s? Fifties? Or does it matter as long as the mom-to-be is happy and healthy?

Why do you feel this way? Let me hear your thoughts, we may read them on the show!

Tags: , ,

145 Responses to “Age and Childbearing”

  1. Jana says:

    God made it certain that every woman can have a baby at least once in their lives.

    Why does Sara, Abraham’s wife get to have all the fun?

    If a woman is to have a baby at 90 years old, it will happen. Doctors should not play God and tell a woman it’s too early or too late to have a baby. God decides that.

  2. Angie says:

    I am an older Mom, my husband and I adopted a baby boy when I was 38 and he was 43. Our son is now 5 and we also have two other children 19 and 21. I love all my children the same but I feel like I am a better Mom with Jacob our youngest. I appreciate him more and I believe I am a better Mom with Jacob. I spend more time with him and I think its because I learned with my older children that they grow up so fast. When we adopted him we agreed with his maternal family that they could stay in his life and they have, and we have never had any problems with that, we believe that the more people who love him the better. I think I am a totally different Mom, because I am wiser and have learned from my mistakes. (some of them), he is a very spoiled little boy. I think that having babies in your 50’s and 60’s are not a very smart ideal mostly because of the health risks and birth defects that increase with your age. There are also soo many children who need to be adopted or fostered and maybe this should be considered. My husband and I have gone through the training to be foster parents we love kids and want to help and also think it would help Jacob to have younger children in the home. Being a foster parent is a life long dream that I have had, we have not fostered any children yet because of some health problems that I have had, but hopefully it will happen soon.
    Thank You,
    Angie
    Thank You
    Angie

  3. I have just watched this show because my mom records every thing. I do not belive that women this age should be having kids. It is not fair to the kids to be worrying about there mother at 10 years old because their mother is close to death. Children need to live there lives like they want and not be taking care of there mother because she is so selfish she doesnt think about her kids feeling. I am 13 so i know that many kids would not want to be the child of a mother that will die when they are teens or even younger.

  4. Meghan Bailey says:

    I am replying to the question re: age and child bearing.
    I believe the question should be “how young is too young?” and not how old is too old. How come nothing is said about all these 13 or 14 year olds that are having babies, just because they can? Their bodies are not yet matured enough to carry a child full term, and neither are their minds! Some of the questions in your show on this topic was an older woman shouldn’t have children, as they might not live long enough to see them grow up, but…it doesn’t matter what age you are, there is nothing to say if you are young, you will watch your children grow up. The older Mother usually has more patience, and much more experience in raising children. The other comment was having people from their community or family help. They are lucky if they have this kind of support. But, when these young teenagers have babies, they rely on their Mother’s and communities to help raise these children, then cry because they also want to be able to go out and party with their friends. Who will be looking after their children then? And what happens, then end up pregnant again. Because they know they had all the help they needed the first time around, they will get it again. I believe this is much worse, as their parents are now responsible to look after their grandchildren whether they are able or not. When you have an older person ready to have a baby, these people probably already have the funds needed and won’t have to run to the Government for financial help. They are usually ready to make a commitment and will carry it through. When you have younger families having children, they usually have them fairly close in age, and are not ready to commit to all the trials and tribulations required for child care. They are also always wanting to go out to parties with friends, and in a lot of cases do not realize the commitment it takes to raise children. I give that one lady a lot of credit of what she said about older women having children. What is selfish is having children when they are not ready to have them, and holding other people responsible to raise their children. The 13 year that just wrote in “(patricia randell)” is only 13 and has not had the experience of life. You do not only have to worry about an older person dying when children are young, there are many young people that pass away and leave their children behind. What’s more important than age, is the desire to want children, and the commitment it takes to raise them, Regardless of age.
    One other comment I would like to make is re: yesterday’s show about “Are you Ready”. This is in regards to the lady that wants to have a child, but her husband already has from previous marriages. This is something that definitely should have been addressed before they got married. Was this never discussed when they were dating? Did she not know he already had a vasectomy and did not have any plans to reverse it? If she wanted children this should have been the number one topic before they committed to marriage. It would have been a lot easier to break up a relationship before you get married, than getting married and finding out you both want something different. If she doesn’t have a child, she will most probably resent her husband, and as time goes on, the resentment will grow deeper and will end up either very unhappy, or divorced.

  5. Sherri Barrett says:

    I am an older mom and I cannot be considered to be in good health. But I am in better health than I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I began using a motorized scooter at age 29 due to severe arthritis. My arthritis improved tremendously with my first pregnancy at age 37, when I had a boy. Two years later I had a girl. Getting pregnant was very easy for me; but I had always protected myself from sexually transmitted disease since adolescense. It took 3 cycles for the first pregnancy and 1 cycle for the second. My only medication related to pregnancy was intravaginal progesterone after I was pregnant. My first two children were planned and I was happy, despite being a single mom (that’s a long story).

    At age 43 I had been abstinent for 5 years, but then met a man I was interested in. I became pregnant on our first encounter and had my third child, a boy, when I was 44 years old. Many recommended abortion for me, but I consider abortion to be murder, even in the case of chromosomal abnormalities. Therefore, realize that mother can become pregnant naturally into her mid forties.

    I realized that the third child made my life much more difficult as a single mom. I was prepared to marry the father, but relating to him hurt our family much more than helped us. (He didn’t come to my mother’s funeral, his son’s last grandparent, because he said he had to work just to give you an idea.)

    So, now, with a significant disability due to widespread arthritis and raising 3 children on my own, I retired 2 years ago because my kids were more important than my work. Some people judge me very harshly for retiring; but working was deleterious to my health, even before I had children. Now my children have a mother who has the energy to fix healthy meals and is always available for their scouting and church activities. We live in a very stable environment and don’t have to tolerate people who treat us badly. My first son was very ill at birth due to placenta previa and started out needing early intervention; but as an older mother I was able to provide him with the treatments he needed and he is now a happy 10 year old who is doing well in school. Both my 8 year old and 4 year old are also doing well and are obviously happy.

    When I was in my 20’s, I wanted to go out and see the world, both travel and the night scene. By the time I had children, I lost that desire and cared more about caring for others. I learned a lot about child rearing by living in foreign countries and by my professional training in children’s hospitals.

    I don’t think it’s right to judge people by what age they have children.

  6. Rose Britton says:

    My father was born in 1899 — 49 years old when I was born in 1948. My mother turned 41 when I was a month old. I can’t imagine better parents. Somewhere between extremely young parents — the young teenagers we all worry about — and extremely old parents — Strom Thurmond, for instance — there’s a wide range of ages and stages of men and women able and willing to be good parents. There’s a range of valid health considerations, but I’d hate to see women either required to bear children or required not to bear children. I think it would be a wonderful world if every child could be wanted and loved.

  7. gloria says:

    My mother was 40 when she had me!It was more like a Grandmother raising me!THAT was not all bad, BUT when you have children at an older age…you die on them at to young an age!!!I,m NOT for having children when u r older!!!: (Your show was on in MI. on Dec. 15,2009)

  8. Lorenzini says:

    I can certify that your headline “age and childbearing turning point: the official dr. phil blog…” works like wow, unique thing I can say is just keep informing us.

  9. Lindsey says:

    I did not have children because during my childbearing years there were so many unwanted children. I think fostering or adopting is a better idea. There are a lot of unwanted children out there so I think giving birth is selfish. And really who can afford to have children in this economy?

  10. Bonnie says:

    I think it a personal choice, but think in making that choice think of the children as they grow, will your ideas of things fit with what they should be learning
    My daughter is 48 and her children are 13 and 14 , They see the difference in their mom and other moms
    Children are very smart so you have to be up on all the things that are important to them, from all the cool games to all the right clothes style,and better know
    the latest music and groups
    It more about the people who are parnets then age , To me its about their health and if they can give love and know how to give and meet the c hilds needs ,
    in every way

  11. Sarah says:

    Can we please just think about the childs future. I think that after 50 you should think about you, not worry about taking the baby w/all the baggage to whereever live and let live let the younger kids have babies.

  12. Martha says:

    Who are we to decide if a woman is too old to have a child? Shouldn’t this be the choice and decision of the parents involved? The objection that the woman could die leaving these young children is a possibility but a woman in her 20’s could die from any number of things as well and leave a child without a mother. I am sure that even when the mother dies the majority of those children are still raised with much love and turn out just fine.

  13. Kristin says:

    Hey Dr. Phil,

    I believe that women over the age of 40 should not have children because of the risk of diseases like Down Syndrome that can occur after the mother turns a certain age. I don’t think that it would be fair to the child to be brought into the world with a problem like this, especially since the science technology has told us these things. In my opinion, it makes the decision worse because the mother knows that this is a risk and she knows that she is older, which begs to the question of who is going to take care of a possibly sick child if something happens to her.

    Thanks, Kristin

  14. Bobbi Jo Adragna says:

    My husband and I tried to concieve for many years. After many failed attempts we adopted a newborn baby girl when I was 33 and he was 37. She turned out to be a special needs child with MR and Autism spectrum diagnoses. When i was 41 quite unexpectedly I became pregnant with our biological son. He was born 3 days before our 20th wedding anniversary. Although I wouldn’t have chosen to be this old with a toddler, I will never regret the miracle that was given us. I don’t feel too old to be a mother, in fact it has given me impetus to lose weight and start exercising so i can do everything with him, i would have done if i were younger. Our life is wonderfully complicated with the special needs of our daughter and a precocious toddler, but as my husband says “it’s not the age it is the milage!” and there are still alot of miles left on this old engine to get my children where they need to be in their lives.

  15. Lauren G. says:

    I don’t think that there should be laws or anything to say when women have the right to bear children; however, I do urge women to consider their children when considering getting pregnant. It’s selfish to have a child in much older ages because it is ensuring the child will not have a mother for a great deal of their lives. My mother had me at 50 and we are best friends but I always wish she had her children younger. All while growing up, I always had the thought in the back of my head that when my children were that age, my mother wouldn’t be around to see it. I constantly have to remind myself to cherish every moment and get every bit of wisdom out of her I could while she was still around. I think it is selfish for older women to bear children because they are then forcing those children to cope with their age. That child will always be aware of how they will be alone and they will always be aware of their mother’s limited time with them and from experience I can say that this is very stressful and depressing.

  16. kate says:

    The woman who argued that it’s a matter of women’s rights ticked me off. What about the argument for mother’s responsibility? If you want to become a parent to make yourself feel better then you probably shouldn’t become a parent because you’re still just focused on yourself. Focus on the welfare of the child. Older mothers put children at risk simply by having them.

    The health of the child is dependent on the health of the mother carrying the child. It’s already been proven that older mothers (and fathers) have kids with a lot more problems and that the instance of health problems take a steep climb as early as in your 30s and 40s, let alone 60s and 70s. The rights of an individual end at their negative effect on another individual.

    No one seems to stop and consider anymore that if you fail to conceive there may be a valid, genetic, NATURAL reason that this is so. Adopt, foster. Forcing your your body to do something it was resisting or stopped doing naturally possibly two decades ago is obscene. If you missed your chance then live with the choice. Do not injure another being just because you want your own bundle of genes to cuddle.

    And the death thing is a big deal. Yes it does matter that you could die sooner. So what if a 25 year old mother dies because of cancer. That’s so much rarer than a 65 year old woman dying of just about everything we die of. To say that just because young women die justifies an older woman having a child is completely false logic. The older woman is almost completely GUARANTEED to die while the child is a child. The average lifespan in America is about 78, so a 66 year old mother has an average of 12 years with their child. It is horrible that someone would inflict the probable death of themselves onto their child. It’s almost as bad as committing suicide.

    And what about senility? Feebleness? A parent that may need as much care as the child itself within a couple years of birth? And I haven’t even touched how traumatic pregnancy and birth can be on the body. Developing pre-eclampsia could kill an older woman and is more likely to develop with age. Maybe there shouldn’t be laws barring someone of a certain age having a child but perhaps there should be something determining how self-centered and irresponsible a person is before they become a parent. It certainly would cut into the number of abandoned and unwanted children born every year and stuck in the underfunded social welfare system we have.

  17. I am a female age 62 years old I take care of my two grandchildren ages 19months and 5months every day while my son and daughter-in-law work. I think it is the choice of the people involved to decide when they want to have children. There are many situations where a young parent passes away so age should not be a factor. My grandchildren keep me young and I am looking forward to the birth of my 5th grandchild in february

  18. Shawn Palombo says:

    I am a 44 yr. old mother that gave birth to 3 children. My oldest is 19, the middle one is 16 and the youngest is 8yrs. old. I believe it is up to each individual as to what age she is when having babies. I do agree having my baby at 36 was easy and the 18 years after that are tougher but it was my choice. I try to stay active and involved with my youngest child just as I did with the others. I am and good health and I do believe it helps keep me young.
    I am a school counselor. One of the teachers I work with came from a family where her mother was considered old when she had her. This teacher said you shouldn’t have children when you are older because her mom did not get involved and do things with her like go to ball games. I do not see that as a problem for me because I do stay involved and take my child many places. I don’t regret having her at all. She was a planned baby and a neccessity to my life!

  19. scrappysue says:

    of course 69 is too old. she was selfish, and now her 3 year old children are motherless. what was she thinking. i have 4 children. i had 2 in my 20s and 2 in my 30s. i certainly felt the last two! of course these decisions are usually made with the heart and not the head, but some thought IS required – parenting is a lifelong commitment!

  20. Michelle Y says:

    I can’t get this question out of my mind since I seen it on the website. Ethically I don’t I believe there is age limit. But on the other hand by saying that am I also saying that a young girl can also have a child ? Having a baby is a personal desire. Also a selfish desire since the baby has no say in the whether they want to be born or not. Looking at risks and also the facts.. Young girls nor older woman should really consider having a baby medically and socially. A young girl having a baby could physically hurt her . and is she really ready mentally to take on that responsibility? Will her parents have to step in and take care of the child?
    There are complications from carrying the baby to birth defects that increase as you get older. And to mention when having a baby so old think of that child as it grows up. Dealing with social aspects of having older parents. Can older parents really keep up with the activities that are desired by the child, depending on the age of he parents but kids will wonder why their grandparents are raising them and the child will have to explain that its their parents. I know that seems so minor of an arguement but it something to consider. I am 37, my kids are 14 and 10. at my age i could not even consider having another baby . I have no more patients and physically well im not a spring chicken. I am slower and not able to run around and play like i did 10 years ago. Now if i got pregnat sure i would do my best to do all i could. But would it be fair to the child? My opinion no it wouldnt be fair. At their graduation I would be in my 50s . For some reason I don’t think the child would be to excited about that. agian its my opinion. But I do think before people have children they should think of everything it will effect even the child. There is childbearing years for a reason.

  21. patricia mounts says:

    Hi dr Phill I am a mother of three adopted children and I am 65 I have been watching your show for years I dont understand why people have so many problems. I have had 3 children and adopted 3 children my husband lost 1 million dollars in a scam I fell 3 years old and ended up in a hospital bed for 1 year and I took care of my family from a hospital bed no help my husband and I had no help was it easy No it wasnt but I did it We had to start over and these kids are special needs in many ways but we just do it take one day at a time. And deal with it as it happens. I think I am a special person and I know God helps me to do this if I can anyone can believe me. Life isnt easy you get out of it what you put into it

  22. Magali says:

    I think if we start telling women that they are too old to have children, we might also want to look into women being too young as well. Although I agree parenthood is a lifelong commitment, no one can actually plan when they are going to die.

  23. Frances Mayeaux says:

    RE: mother to be age? I am 77 young and worked until age 74 on full time job, drove each way to work 35 miles, took care of a 68 year old male in a wheel chair, maintained an 1 acre yard, however, I would hate to know that I would have to cope with raising a young child. I would not have the stamina nor patience to cope.
    I believe each person should have the right to say what happens with their own body. I think that each individual has a different age level not necessary the birth age. In my own family I had a cousin who married a woman who was 10 years older than he. She was in middle 30’s when she had her first child. 2 years later a second. For both she and husband their life style was too old for children at that age. At age 58 (change of life) she became pregnant (not planned). Both parents considered themselves too old to participate in any way with their son’s activities so the son missed out on a lot of life that other children had access too.

    Frances

  24. Frances Mayeaux says:

    The above are my thoughts only

  25. Frances Mayeaux says:

    I agree

  26. Frances Mayeaux says:

    I have read and agree

  27. Becky says:

    Okay Doc I dont get time to sit down and watch any tv in the day and sometime your show well can be kinda borning to me.
    Well just a bit I am 33 have 3 kids and one on the way for my frist 3 kids they are 6 year apart so that makes them 15, 9,and 3 at my age at the end of the day I am tired. My partens that are over 75 with my dad going to be 83 this year just got there 2 year old grandchild they are haveing a hard time keeping up with her they dont get around that good anyway. At the older age in like most are not ready for this in the lives with the meds and doc’s I have been watching this they have only had her a few months they cant keep up with her or even do the things that she will need in life. I saw the show on A&E where there are doc’s helping older women have babies I do know what the risk of haveing a baby after 35 is and how hard this is on your body anyway no matter what age you are. But it really not fair to the kids you cant keep up with.

    And the kids that they are saying they are bipolar my husban is bipolar has been for years most of his family is and he never acked like that or any of the other kids in his family. None of our are where its come from the mother most the time

  28. Jodi Marton says:

    I think that the choice for a woman to bear a child at any age she & her doctor agree are healthy is HER choice. There are so many “what ifs” in any pregnancy/childbirth/childrearing! A woman can die during childbirth or from illness at any time, there are no guarantees in life! A woman may also live well into her 80’s or 90’s and the child may be well over 18. Who’s right is it to say what choice she makes…if she is willing & able to love & raise a child..God bless her! I was 23 when we married (26 yrs ago..still happily married. We went through the next 18 yrs. trying to have children. After 22 inseminations, 2 invitros, 1 embryo transfer, 3 miscarriages & 1 natural (at age 42!)..we know how blessed we are! There are plenty of people who should NEVER be parents but are! In Judaism, it is a blessing to have children & a major part to “be fruitful & multiply” & fertility treatments are welcome, with guidance! Please don’t judge others choices! Everyone should have the right to make their own choices!

  29. Katie says:

    There is a difference between 40-45 and 55-60 my mom was in her late 30’s when I was born and my dad was 40 when my brother was born I’ll grow up and be married by the time the pass but if they were ten years older they might not and they wouldn’t want to go to my soccer games or plays as much. If you’re in your 50s then there are older kids you can adopt. Think about how you would feel if your dad could not walk you down the isle….

  30. sarah bloxham says:

    I agree with Dr Thema Bryant-Davis’s opinion that an older woman should be allowed to bear children. On older woman will generally have more resources and more life wisdom to deal with the difficulties of rearing a child.

  31. cobi whalen says:

    I just had my 49th birthday and I have a 28 month old beautiful little girl, I feel every bit of 49 and could not imagine being even a year older at this point.
    Before our little Ivy came into our lives, I had 3 part-time jobs waitress, alarm/home automation installer, electric installers helper (very fit) and a small home based business! being a mom is the hardest job I have ever worked in my life! We feel she is our gift from god and the reason we ‘are here’. she was put in our care at 3 weeks old, we were to take care of her while the parents got there selves together (drugs). The adoption was final july 30th 2009. Thank You for your shows!

  32. Rene says:

    My mom had me when she was 30. I am a 1st time Mom – due in Dec. 2010 @ the age of 35 . I am healthy & always thought I had more time & might not be a mom till my 40’s. I was married for 16 yrs & was barren due to stress & weight gain. Only after having regular periods for 2 yrs & then 8 months after my divorce my life changed … me & my fiancee will be 1st time parents. I am glad nobody can tell me its too late to start. I applaud the woman older than me having children.

  33. Carey Marshall says:

    When we were choosing people to care for our children if something happened to us, we chose people who were near our own age, simply because we wanted our children to have as good a chance of growing up with a consistent family rather than losing more than one by choosing elderly grandparents, no matter how loving they might be.
    In the Bible, Sarah had her first child at 90 years old, but it was not because of technology advances. If a woman can have a child without using extraordinary means of technology, nothing should prevent her, but if it is a tech. issue, it doesn’t make good sense. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. We can drink poison, but it will kill us! There are always consequences to every action, either good or bad. We must be careful to consider them!

  34. Janice says:

    It’s not whether the woman is to old or not. My mother conceived me when she was 40 and I have had a great life even though my parents were older than the norm.

    When a woman has conceived naturally well it was meant to be… if a woman is past her normal child bearing and has to use artifical means well obiviously its not meant to be and we should leave “conceiving” to nature and the scientists should stay out of it.

  35. Kate says:

    Dr. Phil,
    I am an older mom and had my daughter when I was getting close to 50. I did not take any fertility drugs, my husband and I decided it was a good time for both of us and it happened. I am mature and have lived my life and done all the things I wanted to do including having a career. I have the wisdom to guide her which most young mothers do not have. I did not develop my own internal wisdom until I was around 45. Had I been a mother at a younger age, I would have followed the same old programming that my parents instilled into me which included a lot of fear. I did not do this with my daughter because with maturity comes and internal knowing that young mothers simply do not have. They respond to situations based on their conditioning. Older mothers respond based on wisdom. I am able to nurture her with patience, kindness, understanding, and no pressure on her to achieve goals that are not hers. Many young parents live their unfinished lives through their children and force them to participate in activities that they do not want to do. Older parents do not do this because we have lived our dreams first. So, our children are free to pursue their dreams without our influence on their choices.

  36. Melisa says:

    Hello Dr. Phil,

    I am a mother of 4. My oldest will be 24 this fall and my youngest 3. I conceived my first child when I was 24, and my youngest when I was 45, with my second husband . All naturally with no help from science. My pregnancies were all normal. Our children all healthy. I think there are moral issues to having children when your older, but I think being healthy and concieving naturally without help say all there is to say. We are both in our late 40´s today, healthy and have lots of energy to do all that we want with our 3 year old. He is the joy of our lives and we love him and have more experience and patience than we did with the other kids. Our older children also enjoy him and help him experience new things. He is a bright and beautiful boy that we thank God for everyday. He also gives us incentive to go work out at the gym, watch our health because we plan to be with him for a very long time to come.

  37. Eileen de Lapp says:

    This is a hard question to answer. A lot depends on the parents.

    I was 37 when I had my IVF daughter (after 10 years of IVF and 23 operations). I think you should assess the health of the mother and whether she can keep up with a toddler who can move as fast as lightning, especially in car parks!

    Many prospective parents don’t realise the high risk of conceiving Down’s Syndrome babies when the age of the parents are advanced.

    P S ….Love the show!

    Sydney, Australia

  38. Dr. Phil,

    The question of how old is too old to bear a child is one I am struggling with in my life at this time. I am 49 years old. On September 3, 2009 I received the news that my only child Benjamin Castiglione was killed in Helmund Province, Afghanistan. My world has fallen apart. The moment I received the news my life went from full color to grey. I instilled many values in my son such as being responsible sexually and being careful who he gave his babies to. This is one of the reasons why I will grow old with no child or grandchildren. I am struggling daily with this and finding a reason to grow old anymore and to go on. I will never be called mom again or grandma. I loved being pregnant and loved being a mom and feel as though I did a good job at it seeing the outstanding young man my son turned out to be. I struggle with my ticking clock and facing my future without all the things I dreamed of. I realize that this is no time to make such a big decision but also realize I don’t have much time. Is it selfish to even consider bringing a child into the world with such an older mother? I question if I would be just trying to replace my son (which can never be done). Do I just accept this path that has been chosen for me? I have thought about doing others things to focus my “mothering ache” on but they all seem to be dim in comparision to having my own child and the possibility of having grandkids. I too am asking myself how old is too old? It may be years before I am emotionally stable enough to be able to make a decsion like this or even be able to pull off raising and emotionally healthy child.

    This is just another angle to the question you pose. A question I have no answers for. Do you?

    Sincerely,
    Carrie Castilione
    Proud mother of HM3 Benjamin Castiglione

  39. Grace says:

    I agree that older women who have children are for themselves. They do not think about the welfare of the children. Children with old parents have to worry about their mother may die soon and may not able to provide them with financial, emotional and physical support. My mother had me when she was twenty two. I am very happy about it. Old women with young kids are hurden for the society and for their kids. Kids with older parents may feel embrassed by their parents in front of their peers. I do not think it is good idea for anyone for a women become a mother in their old age except fullfil the desire and dream for that old women. I am totally object to that idea. They should turn their desire having a baby to something else that is better for the society and the welfare for the young kids.

    Love the show

  40. Penny Clark says:

    My mother was almost 42 when she had me. I was her second family. I had 3 half brothers from her first family who are all in their 70’s now. One has already passed away. My mother is now 94, I am 52. I have never liked having older parents. It is very unfair to the child. I had other kids call her my “grandmother” when I was in school. My grandparents all passed away by the time I was in my teens. She has out lived all of her family and other than my mother, so have I. My dad was 5 years younger than her and passed away almost 30 years ago. My grandparents are all gone, aunts, uncles, one half-brother, etc. I feel like the only family I have now are my 3 children. I have always resented being the child of an older parent and I think it is very selfish of an older person to have a baby. Instead of a generation gap, there is a “two generation” gap.

  41. Janice White says:

    I think it’s up to the woman. 65 maybe too old. 45 is not. I’m sorry Penny you feel alone, maybe you have close friends to keep you company. My mom was 41 when she had me, I love her and my many siblings with all my heart.

  42. Janice White says:

    one more thing, I can’t find the other discussion on this, but eureka!!! From what I’ve read from other people yes,,,, don’t give in to those claiming to be bi-polar. They are mainly spoiled and are never held accountable for their immature actions. I love it! Three people in my life are using this excuse!!! Well, no more I tell u. Enough is enough and I’m not letting them get away with a single thing from now on.
    Thank u Dr. Phil and thank you folks on this website!!!

  43. manal says:

    IN our eastern community Ithink the proplem is in the way we think we get marriedearly then weget older and older and the community doesn’t give us the choise ,they think that you must have children as long as you can even when you 100 years old .
    That is the disaster when you feel that you was born just to be an electrec tools for making babies ,whatabout our mind what about other target??????

  44. Tonya says:

    Age has Nothing to do when to become a mom – Ability does! If your life doesn’t revolve around your child’s life than DON’T be a mom. My golden rule is “Child’s needs first”. I had a child at age 20 and at age 39. I can tell you it got easier as I got older. Not that I wasn’t a good mother at age 20. I just personally believe the older the better but Motherhood Has NO age limit. I also believe children need good Mothers and Fathers. That’s whats wrong with the world today. Everyone worry about there OWN needs and ignoring their children. I could go on. I must tell you Dr. PHIL – whoever that black lady psychologist was on your show made me cry because I agree with her totally.

  45. Kiran says:

    I have found that more mature mothers are better equipped financially and emotionally to raise children. I run a Meetup group of Moms 35 years and up with young children. They are very patient and feel that spending time with their children is an investment and not an obstacle in their lifestyle.

Leave a Reply