Comments on: Age and Childbearing

By: Kiran

Kiran — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:26:57 +0000

I have found that more mature mothers are better equipped financially and emotionally to raise children. I run a Meetup group of Moms 35 years and up with young children. They are very patient and feel that spending time with their children is an investment and not an obstacle in their lifestyle.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:32:24 +0000

Age has Nothing to do when to become a mom – Ability does! If your life doesn’t revolve around your child’s life than DON’T be a mom. My golden rule is “Child’s needs first”. I had a child at age 20 and at age 39. I can tell you it got easier as I got older. Not that I wasn’t a good mother at age 20. I just personally believe the older the better but Motherhood Has NO age limit. I also believe children need good Mothers and Fathers. That’s whats wrong with the world today. Everyone worry about there OWN needs and ignoring their children. I could go on. I must tell you Dr. PHIL – whoever that black lady psychologist was on your show made me cry because I agree with her totally.

By: manal

manal — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 06:32:22 +0000

IN our eastern community Ithink the proplem is in the way we think we get marriedearly then weget older and older and the community doesn’t give us the choise ,they think that you must have children as long as you can even when you 100 years old .
That is the disaster when you feel that you was born just to be an electrec tools for making babies ,whatabout our mind what about other target??????

By: Janice White

Janice White — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:59:53 +0000

one more thing, I can’t find the other discussion on this, but eureka!!! From what I’ve read from other people yes,,,, don’t give in to those claiming to be bi-polar. They are mainly spoiled and are never held accountable for their immature actions. I love it! Three people in my life are using this excuse!!! Well, no more I tell u. Enough is enough and I’m not letting them get away with a single thing from now on.
Thank u Dr. Phil and thank you folks on this website!!!

By: Janice White

Janice White — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 22:15:34 +0000

I think it’s up to the woman. 65 maybe too old. 45 is not. I’m sorry Penny you feel alone, maybe you have close friends to keep you company. My mom was 41 when she had me, I love her and my many siblings with all my heart.

By: Penny Clark

Penny Clark — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 19:53:10 +0000

My mother was almost 42 when she had me. I was her second family. I had 3 half brothers from her first family who are all in their 70’s now. One has already passed away. My mother is now 94, I am 52. I have never liked having older parents. It is very unfair to the child. I had other kids call her my “grandmother” when I was in school. My grandparents all passed away by the time I was in my teens. She has out lived all of her family and other than my mother, so have I. My dad was 5 years younger than her and passed away almost 30 years ago. My grandparents are all gone, aunts, uncles, one half-brother, etc. I feel like the only family I have now are my 3 children. I have always resented being the child of an older parent and I think it is very selfish of an older person to have a baby. Instead of a generation gap, there is a “two generation” gap.

By: Grace

Grace — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:30:29 +0000

I agree that older women who have children are for themselves. They do not think about the welfare of the children. Children with old parents have to worry about their mother may die soon and may not able to provide them with financial, emotional and physical support. My mother had me when she was twenty two. I am very happy about it. Old women with young kids are hurden for the society and for their kids. Kids with older parents may feel embrassed by their parents in front of their peers. I do not think it is good idea for anyone for a women become a mother in their old age except fullfil the desire and dream for that old women. I am totally object to that idea. They should turn their desire having a baby to something else that is better for the society and the welfare for the young kids.

Love the show

By: Carrie Castiglione

Carrie Castiglione — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:15:11 +0000

Dr. Phil,

The question of how old is too old to bear a child is one I am struggling with in my life at this time. I am 49 years old. On September 3, 2009 I received the news that my only child Benjamin Castiglione was killed in Helmund Province, Afghanistan. My world has fallen apart. The moment I received the news my life went from full color to grey. I instilled many values in my son such as being responsible sexually and being careful who he gave his babies to. This is one of the reasons why I will grow old with no child or grandchildren. I am struggling daily with this and finding a reason to grow old anymore and to go on. I will never be called mom again or grandma. I loved being pregnant and loved being a mom and feel as though I did a good job at it seeing the outstanding young man my son turned out to be. I struggle with my ticking clock and facing my future without all the things I dreamed of. I realize that this is no time to make such a big decision but also realize I don’t have much time. Is it selfish to even consider bringing a child into the world with such an older mother? I question if I would be just trying to replace my son (which can never be done). Do I just accept this path that has been chosen for me? I have thought about doing others things to focus my “mothering ache” on but they all seem to be dim in comparision to having my own child and the possibility of having grandkids. I too am asking myself how old is too old? It may be years before I am emotionally stable enough to be able to make a decsion like this or even be able to pull off raising and emotionally healthy child.

This is just another angle to the question you pose. A question I have no answers for. Do you?

Sincerely,
Carrie Castilione
Proud mother of HM3 Benjamin Castiglione

By: Eileen de Lapp

Eileen de Lapp — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 06:06:54 +0000

This is a hard question to answer. A lot depends on the parents.

I was 37 when I had my IVF daughter (after 10 years of IVF and 23 operations). I think you should assess the health of the mother and whether she can keep up with a toddler who can move as fast as lightning, especially in car parks!

Many prospective parents don’t realise the high risk of conceiving Down’s Syndrome babies when the age of the parents are advanced.

P S ….Love the show!

Sydney, Australia

By: Melisa

Melisa — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 05:37:39 +0000

Hello Dr. Phil,

I am a mother of 4. My oldest will be 24 this fall and my youngest 3. I conceived my first child when I was 24, and my youngest when I was 45, with my second husband . All naturally with no help from science. My pregnancies were all normal. Our children all healthy. I think there are moral issues to having children when your older, but I think being healthy and concieving naturally without help say all there is to say. We are both in our late 40´s today, healthy and have lots of energy to do all that we want with our 3 year old. He is the joy of our lives and we love him and have more experience and patience than we did with the other kids. Our older children also enjoy him and help him experience new things. He is a bright and beautiful boy that we thank God for everyday. He also gives us incentive to go work out at the gym, watch our health because we plan to be with him for a very long time to come.