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August 13th, 2009 by Dr. Phil

Generation Me

dollarsI’m reading a book entitled Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled — And More Miserable Than Ever Before, by Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.  It’s pretty interesting, actually.  It deals with a concept that we’ve talked about on the show in the past; that we seem to have a generation of entitled children.

I find this particularly interesting because we are kind of at a “crash point” right now, because we are in such an economic turndown. Most parents cannot even almost meet the expectations of kids — be they 5 or 25 years of age — because with job loss, housing foreclosures, gas prices through the roof … etc… it’s tough enough just to make ends meet!

But it’s more than just about money. It appears that we’ve lapsed into a phase where we reward children just simply for existing, rather than for achieving or performing.  If you don’t think so, just follow a Little League baseball team or a small fry basketball league, and you’ll see that every kid on the team gets a trophy at the end of the year, regardless of whether they ever won a game or even scored a run or a basket. Now I’m all about building self-esteem, but doesn’t there have to be some connection between conduct and confidence, performance and reward and between choice and consequence?

And I guess the real question is: Is it too late? Or, do we need to shift into some serious “re-parenting,” where we make sure that we instill in our kids an understanding of how the world really works?  You may let your kids get away with murder because they are “absolutely the most precious, wonderful, cute and adorable” little tykes who ever walked the face of the earth, but when they get in the dog-eat-dog real world of competition for grades, jobs and advancement in life, they may be in for a shock.  Is it possible that we are cheating, and in fact, crippling our kids by giving them too much in exchange for too little?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.  In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m deciding that we need to do a show on this topic, and have a good, honest dialogue among parents.  So if you want to participate, leave a comment, and be sure to share your thoughts here

Maybe you’re someone that recognizes a problem and needs help, or you’re someone who wants to debate the topic. Either way, let’s get together.

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327 Responses to “Generation Me”

  1. Diedre Marais says:

    Shocking! I don’t believe a person can act that way. My parents always said that you keep on worrying about your children, small or adult. So true. I’m staying in Bathurst in South Africa and wish I could attend some of your shows, but can’t afford it. I don’t miss one show! Thanks for a great show. My English is not that great. I’m Afrikaans speaking, but still enjoy every moment of every show!

  2. Tom Madora says:

    I think erica is a princess and desirves only the best of everything

  3. Tom Madora says:

    She is absolutely georgous and should be a starr

  4. Stacy says:

    Thanks Josie for giving Jews everywhere a bad name! I have never had a problem with the Jewish people, but this girl has the nastiest attitude I’ve ever seen! Pretty is as pretty does, and this chick’s attitude makes her hideous. She will not find a man to marry her acting like this! Dream on, Josie!

  5. Kathy Rivers says:

    Watching this episode “Entitled” I thank God for my mother who taught me to do all the thing necessary to take care of myself and my family, allowing me to in turn teach my daughter, who by the way is the same age as these two “waste of oxygen” young women, who, unless they change their ways, will be rudely awakened someday by life itself.

  6. Ava says:

    I am Shocked an appalled by today’s show guest Josie. She truly gives Jewish women a bad name. I am Jewish and I am ashamed. Yes, I would like to see her mother Alla cut her off in 6 months, yet I would like to see help given to them even before, because I truly hope their case does not serve as a scary example for other entitled and spoiled youth to speak out against other races… It’s easy to judge them, yes. But I fear for them and any that follow. Please help.

  7. Sherry says:

    Dr Phil,

    I am appalled by your Jewish guest. I was watching your show and felt very hurt to know that someone speaks that way of the Jewish people. I can tell you that I do not agree with her and felt very hurt listening to her. There are so many race/religion issues in today’s world and listening to her makes me realize why.

    I wish I had a small portion of the money and lifestyle those girls have. I struggled with my life and never had it easy and to listen to them just makes me sick!!!

  8. Frannie says:

    I just watched today’s show and thought your 1st guest was obnoxious, that is until I saw your 2nd guest. As a Jewish woman I am appalled that someone can go on television and make a total farce of Judaism. I am 2 grown sons and am so grateful that neither of them came home with anything like her. I am very proud of the women Hanna who spoke up, and to you for allowing her to do so.

    I know that you and your show would never sanction the behavior that your 2nd guest demonstrated. I hope you will reconsider giving her another voice on your show….she does not need to be disrespectful to anyone else again.

    Thank you
    Frannie Cool

  9. Jen F. says:

    I do have to say, Erica seemed to have a very easy-going personality and appeared not to be bothered by anything anyone had to say (unlike the rude 28 year-old Josie). Someone did something right for her. She always had a smile on her face (not sure if this was for the cameras, though). I wish I could do that. Maybe I would if everything was done for me, but wouldn’t that just make me unhappy and purposeless (like Josie)?

  10. Ramone says:

    “Spoiled and Entitled” I could not believe how some people are raised.. I am a mother of 3 boys and I am very socked that there is mothers out there that are raising their daughters to be like that. If my boys ever brought home someone like those two I would kick them right out the door…
    I think there is hope for Erica she is spoiled but here was a shred of light when you broke it down how much her 5 things could buy or other people.
    We are in a world were women can so anything they want to and Josie wants to sit back and ride on the coattails of a man to get to where she wants to be.. Her comment about he Playboy experience and her wanting Dr.Phil to show her photos. I as a viewer I was glad you did not bend to her outrageous demands. First her photos and then asking to kick out audiences members just because she did not like what was said.
    I don’t believe that she should ever come back to the show. She was not someone I would like to know anymore about because really there is nothing else to know. In short she was RUDE,IGNORENT,RASIST,DEMANDING and POINTLESS.
    I wish there was more people in this world like the lady that came up on stage.There is a person that has something to say that really mattered.I actually clapped for her because she put the b**** in her place.

    Thank You Dr.Phil For all the good shows you do (excluding this one). Oh but in your defence I am writing you this letter because it did get my blood boiling.. Congrats. job well done

  11. Princesses!!! says:

    Where did you find these girls? Seriously, their mothers need to have their parenting papers taken away.

    The first young lady really believes that she is priviledged and her mother is at the root of the disfunctionality.

    The second one – and I hesitate to call her a lady – was just plain offensive. I just watched the brave lady who called the princess on her attitude.

    Seriously, the attitude is enough to turn any one off! And your comment about her being offensive was right on the money. Her mother is the root of the issues.

    And she really thinks that she will find a man who will love her with an attitude and mouth like she has, good luck! She wants the world to see her for her accomplishments but all they will see is her attitude. Talk about a prima donna!

    And if she is getting all these jobs in modeling and acting, then she needs to learn to stand on her own.

    Their mothers need to seriously look at the damage they have done to the daughters they love. They are socially and functionally out of touch with the real world.

  12. karen says:

    Parents who raise “entitled” children are crippling the child and society as a whole! I teach highschool and the kids who feel entitled are often the kids who are flunking out because they don’t feel they have to work or put forth any effort for their own education. Spoiled brats in places of business, including government, act the same way as adults and our country is currently paying the price for it….

  13. Julie says:

    I can not believe these girls! One of the most important things I teach my children is to respect others, appreciate what you are given and be proud of what you can accomplish yourself. I love taking care of my kids but I l also love watching them succeed on their own.

  14. reah says:

    I think these girls need to be sent to reality boot camp. Not just them but all the rich entitled little brats in the world who have absoloutley no clue of the real world and the sacrifices regular people have to make every single day. The problem with this generation today is that they have every thing handed down to them. They have no sense of appreciation, responsibility or selflessness. Ericas mom seems to be scared to take control of the situation,and josies’ mom seems to be just an enabler. She needs to have an intervention of her own.

  15. mike kane says:

    Dr Phil-
    I saw Josie today and was appalled. I am a dj and do sweet 16 parties and bar/bat mitzvahs and others. She is somewhat typical of attitude whether Jewish or not. It is the parents who are at fault. And thank you for having Hanna (guest who you had speak from the audience).

  16. Elaine says:

    I thought there could have been more emphasis placed on the parenting skills of the mothers of these two women. They seemed to have dropped the ball.

  17. gabriela says:

    Dr.Phil sometimes I think you are so off. The victims on your show were your two young women who were raised a certain way and their PARENTS are to blame. Those girls were never exposed to a real true life. IT was those crappy PARENTS who caused them harm. Nature vs. Nurture. Where would that poor jewish girl ever get those ideas. Those were all her mother’s indoctrination! I feel sorry for those two girls. I’m a poor teacher who works so hard with poor kids at an underperforming school. I’m about to lose my house to forclosure and normally I would think that I would be angry at those spoiled girls, but all I could feel was sorry that they never had the opportunity to contribute substantially to anything. Your favorite book person, whoever she is was so rude. There is a professional way to try and tell people the reality of a situation. She should have attacted the mothers instead of acting like she was giving the girls a reality check. But I guess it makes better ratings when you allow people to be rude. Better out of their mouths than yours. Way to help the victims. I don’t even know what kind of help you could give those girls to turn them around. Do you?

  18. Lynn Rae says:

    These pair of mothers & daughters are about the most shallow and obnoxious examples of human beings in the WORLD. Money is no object – but it can’t buy them anything of value. Let them lose all of their money and try to sell their belongings – see how much all of that trash will bring them on the re-sell market today. People are losing homes, children are hungry and have no medical insurance. I couldn’t watch the entire show – was so repulsed.

  19. Noah G. says:

    Dr. Phil,

    I don’t see the problem as being so much that Josie and Erica are spoiled, but in a larger sense, they are demonstrating, by example, the growing disease of gross materialism. Especially now, the divide between excessive wealth and extreme poverty is growing larger. I am very proud of you and your producers for demonstrating how Erica’s jewelry and luggage alone could be used to house, clothe, feed and educate so many people in need. These young ladies, in particular, should perhaps take the time to work at a homeless shelter, orphanage or food bank for a week, so they might gain some perspective.

  20. Paul Warshawsky says:

    Dr Phil Today’s show Erica and Josie about made me puke! Erica is just a wanna bee Paris Hilton but as dumb as a 3 year old But Josie is a terrible individual. I felt, being a Jewish male like crawling into a hole after she talked. What a rotten, selfish person who will eventually look like her mother (Oh my God!) I’ve been married to a Catholic woman for 44 Years and thank god I didn’t marry a jewish woman like Josie. Josie is a person who would make most people hate jews and add more discrimination to our lives. If she gets a job from anyone in her profession they must be nuts! I wouldn’t hire her to be anything in the company I used to be Vice-Pres. Bally Total Fitness for 26 years. After your show if she thinks a Jewish man will be calling her she’s sick as I think she made most Jewish males so angry they wished they had a # to call. The phones would have been ringing off the hook. My God Dr Phil keep those rotten people off your stage and everything i said i wish i had the opportunity to say it to her face. I actually hated that person! Have a great day Dr Phil, and Thank God for my Catholic wife who I wouldn’t trade for any jewish woman on this earth.

  21. Christina says:

    Dr. Phil-
    I normally don’t comment on your shows but I had to on this one.
    I have 2 girls ages 4 and 6 which are my princesses that wear tiaras and heels only to play around the house. I have high expectations when they grow up and it’s not to be obnoxious and disrespectful of others. I do have a 15 year old son and if he brought home a girl that acted like that or disrespected me, I would definitely have a very long talk with him.
    Erica and Josie are going to have a total wake up call when they are out on their own (probably not because their mothers are footing the bills and they will forever take care of them). I definitely feel sorry for the men they marry because all they want is someone to take care of their lifestyle. Money don’t make you happy, what makes me happy is my family and doing what I can to contribute financially.
    Dr. Phil, seriously I don’t think you should have a follow up show with Josie on it because she was so disrespectful to all of your guests and so was her mother.

  22. Paul Warshawsky says:

    Dr Phil, On my last few words, I wouldn’t trade my Catholic wife for any Jewish women “Like Josie” is what I meant and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. There are to many wonderful, intelligent beautiful Jewish women out there. She just made me so mad that I couldn’t think straight and I’m very sorry if i offended anyone. Thank you

  23. Catherine says:

    Hi Dr. Phil,

    After watching your show today, I went to Dr. Phil uncensored. I think you brought up some valid points about how some parents are raising their children.

    I am in the same age group as “generation me”. I feel that I was raised to be irresponsible. I was taught that I did not have to get good grades, to study, or to plan for my future. In fact, when my father saw me studying, he would often tell me that teachers should not assign homework. They should let kids be kids.

    Although the parents on this show obviously did not do that, they obviously need to take some responsibility for how these kids turned out.

    On the other hand, these kids are now adults. They are responsible for their own actions and their own lives. Their parents are not solely responsible for the behavior of their “adult” children. I think you should have addressed this issue in DR.Phil uncensored.

    It appears that Josie and Erica are not willing to take responsibility for their lives but their are many people in generation me who are.

    It’s no longer the responsibility of our parents to fix us. We, in generation me, have to fix ourselves. It would be nice if you did a show dedicated to this.

    I believe that once you are an adult, you are responsible for your own actions (or inactions). My parents, who taught me to be irresponsible and to be academically impoverished, are no longer responsible for how I live. As an adult, I choose to study hard and I graduated in the top 15% in my major. I am also in the process of completing another degree.


  24. Libby says:

    Do not bring “Josie” back. Why give her a platforn to get more publicity for this wanna be star. I wonder if this woman has any spirital elightment of any type. Any decent Jewish man is going to RUN when he meets this woman, and if she ever gets married what a life of hell her husband will have

  25. sheryl Burke says:

    Never Do for your kids what they can do for themself— Makes for hard workers and productive adults.

  26. Fabian says:

    Erica though spoiled is a cutey from my male point of view and doesn’t have a bad attitude. The jewish female and the mother on the other hand are so nasty in their disposition, I could not watch the program anymore and changed the channel.

    You should straighten out Erica and bring her back and I for one will watch but please do not bring those other 2 back ever again.

  27. Mary Ellen says:

    I think both Josie and Erika need a real wake up call! Show them the real world. Homeless people who never expected to be homeless. People who have have accidents or diseases that can take away that pretty face and their physical abilities in a heartbeat. Let them volunteer in a veteren’s hospital, soup kitchen, homeless shelter, children’s hospital or even a foriegn country where people have nothing. These girls and thier mom’s don’t have a clue about reality and don’t even care.

    Here I am on my own at 50 and about to lose everything I own due to health issues after nearly 20 years working in the medical field. They have it all and get more attention by being on the Dr Phil Show–all I ask is for medical care and a roof over my head but the government could care less. If I end up on the street and die from my medical condition that’s just one less person they have to worry about. Yet, I am trusting God and know that money or not, live or die, I am blessed beyond belief with a REAL MANSION waiting for me in eternity.

    There are so many others in so much worse circumstances than myself, others that really deserve a chance and I would rather see them on your show Dr Phil than these rich girls and thier moms who know nothing and don’t want to know anything of the real world and how to truly live in it with money or not.

    Thank you for this opportunity to sound off and forgive me for going on as I did.

  28. Anakalia says:

    I think Princess Erica is adorable, she would be great in a reality show, she’s as sweet as can be.

  29. Donna Z says:

    Erica needs to give me $10,000 worth of her “tiaras” so I dont lose my house in 2 months. she needs to get off her lazy butt and get a freakin job, and hope she doesnt lose it. I lost my job and was on umemployment for over a year and was unable to pay my taxes so now the government is going to take my house and sell it for more than what I owe, a house that was given to me on the death bed of my uncle and now I have to break a promise to him that I would stay here forever! This breaks my heart!!! Erica give up your “treasures” and find out what its like in the “real world”….I double dare you!!

  30. Jennifer Sturgell says:

    Dr. Phil, I have watched your show everyday for 6 years and I have never been so mad at one of your guests that I would actually have to come online to comment. However, I was extremly upset with Josie and her mother. Not so much Erica, because she seems generally nice, it was just her parents that never showed her how to do anything for herself. But Josie really made me upset. I can’t believe that there are people like her in the world that think they are owed a privledged life because of their religion. People that think so highly of themselves and look down upon others so blatently. She is a racist and so is her mother. If she was so into her religion, I don’t think that she would be modleing for Playboy either. I think that they should go back to Israel where they came from, so they can go about their barbaric ways, and have arranged marriages. But I guarantee she would be running home to Mommy if the man was under 5′10″ and average looking. My heart went out to Hannah, from the audience. She was so upset, as was I and I’m Irish Catholic! Nobody has the right to be entitled unless their names are Prince William and Harry. Thanks for reading, Jennifer S. from Indianapolis, IN

  31. Sarah Oshea says:

    I am probably one of the very few (or maybe even the only person!) who actually feels sorry for Josie. I think she must be very unhappy underneath all that bravado, arrogance and ignorance, to behave like that on national TV. She will never find any peace and happiness in her life and nothing and no one will ever be good enough for her. She will constantly be searching for a peace of mind that will never be achievable as her parents have provided her with resources which no one will ever be able to match (or would wish to!)
    Her offensive comments were quite repulsive to listen to and just demonstrate how narrow minded and ill informed she is. Again, this is something that has not clearly not been discouraged by her parents who have ultimately nurtured a destructive and revolting child.

  32. Ledybug says:

    This “spoiled and entitled” episode caught my eye big time. For the first time, I’m making a comment in a show on TV… Ir us just unfortunate that these 2 full grown women were not brought up how to face reality. Yes, it would be nice to be pampered and spoiled, but there are certain limits so someone would appreciate what’s coming up next. Plus, how can someone survive if they don’t know what to do on their OWN? Frankly, nobody can live in a bubble and not learn how to survive once it bursts!
    Now w Erica, she seems a nice person. Loved so dearly by her mom. She is too sheltered, she doesn’t have a back bone. But given the time, I thnk she will learn. She has love in her, needs to be smarter. For Josie, she might be strong, but with no humility at all.She will fail in marriage and everything else if she doesn’t change. Bad upbringing – seems love was taken over by material things.. She’s very shallow, self-centered, a bully. She claims to be highly educated? She even doesn’t know how to talk and communicate properly. She claims she deserves a man with all her descriptions she stated? How does she know that she is also worth it?
    I can go on and on, but I still need to teach my daughter humility, love, and how to fold her clothes…. Thank you.

  33. Dr. Phil
    Your show yesterday was funny and sad at the same time. Erica and Josie’s moms have a live a life of luxury and wealth. Live a life some people dream of. I look at these girls age 27 years old, have no clue what reality is in the real day to day life in the business world. Erica really dial 1-800 Mom to go food shopping for you? Mom stop it!. Erica says she wants to be a reality TV lawyer, her role model is Nancy Grace. That’s great, but maybe Erica you really need to talk to Nancy and read her backround in Law to find out how hard she really had to work in the real world to get to where she is. I am sure the law school Nancy attended didn’t just hand her a law degree and said go girl!. Wow.

    Josie she has put a whole new spin on the meaning of “Jewish American Princess”. Gee mom, your paying for her to travel with entourage while she’s trying to get a modeling career or be the next playboy girl!. Wow.

    Both girls want to marry Rich men who can continue to spoil and support them in the lifestyle they are used to living. I would hope that these men want something more than a pretty face to keep on their arms as trophy’s. So girls you want Rich and wealthy so what are you bringing to the table? Being Pretty and Sex gets real old real fast. Josie, Rich and wealthy is great, it can buy you Things, Toys, but it might come with a price tag at the end of it. You just might not like the price tag!. Becareful what you wish for!

  34. Gail says:

    Dear Dr. Phil: Your “Tiara-Princess” Show was riveting. [What a jump from your usual depictions of people rushing to hell headlong, from issues like drug abuse, spousal abuse, or just plain self-hatred]. What was amazing to me was seeing Dr. Phil McGraw clearly entertained and trying to hold back a laugh much of the time. These privileged princesses were totally rediculous. To everyone. I got the feeling that even their Mothers were tired of being leached off of. All these Mothers produced were offspring that devoured, and somewhere in the back of their fogged minds, these Mothers must have had the realization that had better get their vampire daughters off them right quick, before the whole establishment came crashing down. They’re trying to launch them off onto unsuspecting men, whom in turn will be the next “host”. Most, if not all the men I know, are too smart for this. I have to say, fabulously entertaining show, Dr. Phil. Wouldn’t it be grand if our whole country were rich and could parade around in real gold and diamond tiaras? I pray to God that we’d act like privileged characters and give to the less fortunate so that our entire country, then the world, would be healed.

  35. Elizabeth Piendle says:

    Good Morning…
    I just wanted to leave a comment about the show entitled from yesterday,it just confirmed my feelings on why people dislike Jews,and that mother was a perfect example of why I don’t like them,and granted they are not all like her.But I have worked for some that were just like he,that if they could cheat you out of a penny then that made there day,it was all about what they could cheat you out of or get for free.Some really think they are entitled and are better then anyone else.
    thanks E M Piendle

  36. beth says:

    I am appalled by the behavior of both women on the show, the only reason I kept watching was with the hope that somewhere they would speak of some type of charity or community help they offer. the most astounding point is the ingratitude both women displayed. I feel we should provide above & beyond (within our means) to our children as long as they also learn to respect and be grateful for the life they have. I will definitely purchase the book if only to learn to avoid the mistakes these mothers made with those 2 women. Please do not encourage this attitude by allowing them back on, until they have visited a homeless shelter/soup kitchen and attended some counseling.\ with the parents. where were the fathers? and what were their roles in these girls lives?

  37. Larry Hammond says:

    Dr Phil,

    After you finish reading Dr Twenge’s book, Generation Me, I suggest reading her other book, The Narcissism Epidemic. I’ve encountered adults with the same attitude of entitlement evidenced by the two young women on your show. I am so sick of individuals who complain about their so called ‘rights’, and demand to be supported, recognized and praised when they have in fact achieved absolutely nothing. The tactic of attacking anyone who dares to confront these attitudes and behaviors is typical of Narcissistic individuals. The tone of righteous indignation displayed by those young women suggests an attitude that they are right and the world is wrong.

    As long as Erica and Josie are enabled to continue this lifestyle, I am quite sure they will not change. A message to the parents….keep doing what you’ve been doing, and you will keep getting what you are getting. A message to everyone else, trying to change these individuals with any form of rational dispute is a waste of time and energy. Let them stew in their own juice.

  38. Carolann says:

    Dr. Phil,

    I watched this show with my mother, & we just could not stop laughing. I am 22 years old, & the youngest of four children, but spoiled for me meant an extra dollar for the penny candy store, or a new beanie baby when I was good in school. Im moving into my own appartment next month, & while your show was on commercial I jokinglly looked at my mother & asked ” So are you going to pay my rent? ” her reply was ” Sure, Ill pay your rent if you pay my morgage. ” These woman are going to have a hard wake up call. 27, and 28 years old you would think they would know better by now. I have held down a job since I was 16, I may not be in school going for a graduates degree, but I know when them bills come in at the end of the month, that mommy & daddy, are not an option.

  39. Vanessa says:

    Beauty is only skin deep, Ugliness is to the bone. My sisters ex-boyfriend had this on a T-Shirt which fits Josie dead on.

  40. Donna says:

    I have a surprise for both Josie and her mother. Not only have they insulted Jewish women, but registered nurses as well. I heard her mom say a couple of times that Josie is planning to become a registered nurse. SUPRISE—nurses have to do REAL WORK that takes a lot of strength and dedication. As I retired RN I speak for nurses everywhere,—-you are an insult to the nursing profession if you even think you could ever become one of us. You wouldn’t last a day!

  41. M. Blinn says:

    Please do not bring back either of those guests for follow-up appearances. One viewing is quite enough. They are the reason America is mocked all over the world. I waited in vain for Dr. Phil to say something to humble them and was disappointed he found them amusing. They were not.

  42. LP says:

    Where are the dad’s? The institution of marriage is where children get there values. You should be doing shows on intact families – we are the ones that deserve the medal, the recognition. It is not easy to stay married, develop self-control, be other-centered rather than self-centered in this culture. I pray for this nation that they will return to a sense of responsibility. You , Dr. Phil could be modeling that rather than this travesty.

  43. Chelsea says:

    Wow … the girl on the show today (11-5-10) Is in LaLa land and has NO EXCUSE for her behavior…. goodness.

  44. Heidi says:

    I was shocked by the episode spoiled and entitled. I thought your first guest was pretty spoiled, but overall entertaining to watch. She seemed like a nice person. Your second guest, Josie however was trash. She gives Jewish women a horrible name. I loved when Kelly Catron told her to go the gym and then to a surgeon because she was not arm candy! Hilarious. She was definately not playboy material, way too overweight and not cute in the least. Please do not bring this one back, she’s just a waste of time-she is never gonna land a decent man with her attitude and then what’s she going to do to support herself because her looks and her plus size body aren’t gonna cut it!!

  45. pacluv says:

    Dr. Phil I don’t feel sorry for any of these parents, on yesterday and today’s show. When these kids were growing up the parents gave them everything they ever wanted. As a parent we have to learn to say “NO” sometimes. If we don’t this is what we get as adults who are still living in the nest at 30, 40, or 50 yrs. old. Because you don’t teach them to be able to stand on their own. Even if you have the money say no sometimes!!!! After you are gone no one out in the world will love your spoiled brat as much as you do. So they must learn to stand on their own two feet when you are no longer here. I have one son, who could be really spoiled, if I allowed it. He has learned to do things on his own. When he graduated from H.S. he wanted a car. I told him no, he had to get a job and save his money to buy one. I did give him some money after he saved enough to help him. Because he saved his own money for it he takes care of that car like it was a Rolls Royce. If I just brought him a car and just handed him the keys, it wouldn’t have meant as much. Now he is 20 yrs. old in college. He works 3 jobs and pays his way through school. I am so proud of him. He doesn’t come to me for gas money to put gas in his car. Or he doesn’t nickel and dime me death for things that he can pay for. I am there for him if he needs me, but I want him to try to do for himself. I will not be here forever, so I am trying to prepare him for his life as an adult. As parents that is what we are supposed to do, prepare them for the future!!!!

  46. MTrini says:

    This is the result we get when parents give their children everything. They raise them with a sense of entitlement and then wonder why this child – now an adult monster- does not amount to anything in life. Some parents forget how hard they had to work to get what they have and don’t want their children to go through that. I will never forget the Cosby Show episode, “You are not rich, me and your mother are rich, YOU have NOTHING!”

  47. Rich says:

    There are two problems here. First, giving Chelsea everything she wanted, thus robbing her of a sense of self worth from earning what she wanted. Second, Mom’s constant criticism, telling her she’s fat, her job choice isn’t ‘cost-effective’, etc. Chelsea’s self-respect is in the gutter, and Mom has 95% of the responsibility for that. In order for Chelsea to turn around, her Mom needs to accept her choices (as long as they’re legal), and quit putting down her and her choices. It MAY not be too late!

  48. Liz says:

    Sad! So sad that young and beautiful women have absolutely no grip on reality. I was sickened by the fact that they gave no thought to spending literally thousands of dollars on their creature comforts. Perhaps a tour of duty in Haiti would give them a dose of reality. What these girls spent on JUNK would feed thousands of children who are starving to death on a daily basis. Just sad that their parents allowed this to happen. Shame on them!

  49. Vicki says:

    Well, I am a 27 y/o that was raised to earn everything you have in life. At 15 I had my first job and was expected to start saving and spending my own money wisely. From buying deoderant to paying for any of my personal activites. I have an older brother and sister, one 28, and one 29. We all own our homes, have nice vehicles, and support ourselves and our children, all on our own, without having to call mom and dad for money.
    Now that I’m grown and have my own children, I try to instill those same values. My children are 4 and 7. They don’t get toys or candy whenever they want, they don’t get to do whatever they want. We have rules and consequences. I constantly get compliments when out in public about how well behaved my children are and what great manners they have.
    People need to get a grip and hold their children to the same standards as any other adult.

  50. Katie says:

    Dr. Phil,

    I just caught up on this week’s episodes and was absolutely outraged (I was almost yelling at the TV)! I am 25 years old and believe my mother has done a wonderful job at raising me and my sister. Yeah my parent’s paid for things and gave us money but they also made us understand that they can’t afford the world and that there is limits to everything. As adults my mom has given me money with the agreement that it is to be paid back and it has. I am proud to say that I have not borrowed any money from my family in three years, I am a stay-at-home mom, a full-time student, a loving and supportive wife, and a functional part of society. My husband works full-time and attends nursing school full-time. Oh…that brings up another point…where I come from becoming an RN is only an associates degree. It makes me sad to think people like that are the reason our generation has a bad name.

    On a side note, I am currently taking a religions class and we just finished with Judaism last week. Never, any where in my text book, did I read that it was okay for Jewish people to treat others like that. Jewish people are good people and should be vocally outraged that she has made that comment. Her actions are hideous and embarrassing! I also would be surprised if Erica ever makes it through law school with her attitude!

    Thank you for shining a light on these people who think that we should all bow down to them because we are “common folk” who don’t wear tiaras or buy shoes that cost more than our months wages. Us “common folk” have a more rewarding and fulfilling life than these women will every have the chance of knowing.

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