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September 23rd, 2009 by Dr. Phil

The Birth Control Debate

bControl1Hey, I want to give everyone a head’s up about the Dr. Phil show airing on Monday. We’re again featuring the Dr. Phil Family, and I will be having a very intriguing conversation with 19-year-old Katherine, the youngest daughter in the family, about sex and birth control for young girls.  It’s a conversation that I think every parent in America wants to hear, because based on recent research, I think it is representative of the mentality of many teens. I know that many parents are uncomfortable when it comes to talking to your kids about sex and birth control. And regarding birth control, the big question is: Do you offer it or not?

As a society, we seem to be pretty split over the issue of teenagers and birth control. One side believes that the only safe sex is no sex. They say if you teach kids about sex in school, a job many believe belongs exclusively to parents, that it is highly suggestive, and that if you offer birth control, you are implicitly endorsing sexual activity and giving kids permission to go out and do it.

On the other side, the proponents of teenage sex education and easy access to birth control insist that abstinence programs don’t come close to working and that it is naïve to believe parents can persuade, or even scare, their teenagers into not having sex. So, the proponents say, to keep our kids from getting pregnant or infected with a disease, they must go through a sex education program that encourages abstinence but emphasizes protected sex and proper birth control. They maintain that teens have to be equipped with the knowledge and the tools to make an intelligent decision.

bControl2I want you to watch Monday’s show and evaluate Katherine’s very candid — and I think pretty darn typical comments — and then, I want to hear what you think. Would the rate of teenage pregnancy in this country decrease if teens were taught more about birth control? Or would the opposite happen? Would sexually transmitted diseases go down, or go up? And, what would be the moral effects on our teens?

On Tuesday, after the show, I’ll put up another posting about what you wrote to me. And I’ll also let you know how I come down on the issue. See you then!

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182 Responses to “The Birth Control Debate”

  1. Danielle H says:

    It shouldn’t be a matter of teaching kids about sex and what to do/not do, in order for them to be healthy teens.

    It should be about teaching them about (safe sex-condoms/birth control pills), not having sex and not getting laid the very first night you meet someone. I’m not debating the issue of teaching the child (via school education) about having sex before or after getting married. The child should know about birth control options; especially if they marry a person who has a STD or they have painful periods and want to control them with medications. What about problem Acne? Teens need options. Not just because if they want to they WILL do it anyway, but because someone (teachers, parents and doctors) has to teach them over and over again, before they get it.

    I have yet to see a book (could be wrong) sex ed for adult dummies. Maybe there should be that version.

    Make the girls AND the boys, take home an ‘infant’ for two weeks. Have them get a small taste of what it’s like to hear a screaming ‘baby’ at 2 in the morning. Not because they will plan on having a child, while in high school, but because they just might want to have one when they are more mature. And, include graphic pictures of all the ugly effects of what STD’s can do. Facts/Figures/ Speeches… whatever it takes. The more graphic the better. Because thanks to modern technology, just including a blurb in a book, isn’t going to cut it.

  2. Bev says:

    As a 17 year old in 1970, I would not have had sex if I did not have access to birth control. I waited until I could get the pill from a free clinic – not because I wanted to have sex, nor even had a boyfriend, but because my girlfriend talked me into it. –

    Didn’t receive teachings about sexual morals at all in school, but I wish I had. Because, birth control freed me to become promiscuous, looking for acceptance, giving in to peer pressure. Without birth control, I would have waitied to have sex, and possibly actually developed a decent relationship first. –

    Having used birth control all my adult life, I now have no grandchildren. That is a very painful consequence of the birth control culture I was indoctrinated into. I didn’t realize when I chose to block creation, as an immature young woman, that it would so negatively affect my future.

  3. Nicole Minutolo says:

    I recently turned 21 and my Dr. placed me on birth controll for more than one reason. One because I was sexualy active and 2 was because I had a large cyst on my ovary. I agree 100% with birth controll but even being on it use other forms of protection.
    More recently I have found out that birth controll is not for everyone though but i would never rule it out untill speaking with your Dr. After only a month of being on it they are trying other options with myself. I have epilepsy and take topamax and the birth controll and topamx didnt go so well with each other. We are working to find something that is right for me.
    I have seen some of my closest friends get put in some very bad situations at some very young ages and the amount of girls i see at the highschool getting pregnant just goes up every year. birth controll alone cant stop it but it would be a great start and i suggest to all mothers that you put your daughters on it because thake it from someone in my generation you dont see every thing that is going on

  4. ebony says:

    As a 14 year old in high school I feel that the need for “the talk” about birth control, how to get it, and how to talk to your parents is very much needed. I am sexually active(without my parents knowledge) and am having doubts about whether or not I am pregnent or may become pegnant. I feel like I need to discuss The Pill with my parents or how to insure that I’m not pregnant, but i can’t do so without the knowledge.

  5. Marlene Patterson says:

    Wow, there are so many opinions regarding young people and birth control. I believe in “getting real” as Dr. Phil would say. There are many sides to living in a fantasy world. First of all, abstinence would be the best choice if we could get every to agree on it. However, we live in a socity of human beings and people make mistakes and sometimes bad choices. I believe our young people need sex education. I think it is great that we have parents in our society that talk with their kids beforehand about the issue. Sadly, there are more that don’t, than do. I was one of those kids whose parents didn’t discuss the issue, largely because they didn’t know how. It was assumed that I knew the difference between good and bad choices. Luckily, I did. However, we can stick our heads in the sand and ignore reality if we want. Sex is a part of life and our young people do and will experiment. I am of opinion that it is best for them to know about birth control and be able to get this protection if there is a chance they will have sex either with or without it. That just makes more sense to me. However, we should continue to teach and educate our young about sex and the responsibilities that go along with it. For those who abstain and wait that will be a plus. For those who don’t wouldn’t it be better for them to have access to birth control opposed to an unplanned pregnancy leading to many more difficulties in life ahead.

  6. marie says:

    I grew up with my parents expecting me to follow the teachings of our church. I for the most part, did! However, there were times that I became curious and wanted to experiment. So, i did, without any discusions with my parents on safety! For this reason, I chose to be open with my kids! My first daughter became very independent at the age of 14 because we decided to let her work at the local adventure park. (working teens….another subject that needs to be discussed!) Anyways, the guys took notice of my daughter and she loved the attention! We had several conversations about the responsibilities of sex and more important the unexplained emotions that girls feel when their bodies are raging with hormones….especially the acceptance and desire of feeling loved!
    I’ve told my daughter the importance of valuing herself as a human being. That she doesn’t need a guy to make her feel valued as a person! I also told her that she doesn’t need to have a boyfriend….that this is her time to discover herself!
    I’ve also told her that “GIRL POWER ROCKS!!!” that there’s no better feeling than to know that you have the power to influence your own future! Even after all this open dialogue….she still wanted the boyfriends which realistically meant sex!
    So, I than knew that I had to take it to the next level….which meant Birth Control! She came to me and told me that she was ready at the age of 16.
    We made an appointment and the first thing that the doctor said was, “I’m so glad that you are taking responsibility for your daughter!” I explained to my daughter that I didn’t agree with premarital sex but if she wanted that freedom than she needed to be responsible and pay for it! I told her that sex comes with responsibilites and she agreed to pay the price! My daughter is now in college and values her future! Parents need to listen to their teens and have open conversations about the choices they make! There is no reason for teens to get pregnant! The real issue is the future of the unborn children!! How can we just sit and watch our teens get pregnant! That isn’t fair to those babies!!! I was shocked that Erin gave into Alexandra to keep Nathan. If the open conversations lean towards the teen being stubborn and not heeding their parents advice than EXTRA PROTECTION IS NEEDED! “PARENT UP!”

  7. Janeen says:

    I plan to talk to my daughter about sex at an early age. My mom didn’t. I sort of figured it out but got sex education in school as well only I was in a Catholic school so it was through this series called “In God’s Image, Male and Female”. It gave you the basics and yes, did talk about abstinence. Now, I was 11 the first time I saw it so at that age, it was a fairly good start. I saw it again in middle school at the age of 13. That year we also saw a group called Radix and we also had a speaker come in who was heavily into abstinence education. In high school, I became involved with a group called Teen Empowerment and it was there that I learned about SAFE sex and learned about contraception of all forms. My mom hated that I was in the group but a counselor I was seeing felt it was good for me to be in because girls with disabilities are more prone to becoming teen moms (I have hearing loss in both ears). My mom wasn’t really good about talking to me about sex and stuff. I was getting very confusing information on a lot of things and I just never felt like I could talk to her about anything really. I did end up being active at 17. I was on the pill though. We didn’t use condoms but we were each other’s firsts. That relationship ended not very long after it went all the way and that really messed me up emotionally. It was over a year later that I met the man I would marry and we were active pretty quick but I was more prepared for it and we’ve been together for 10 years. He waited. I was his first and he was not young when we met. We may have not been married but he knew I was the one (I just wasn’t so sure he was the one). Marrying him made it all much better and that’s what I want my daughter to learn. Not all relationships do well once sex enters the picture and it’s not always that great and some guys are just selfish when it comes to that so you can’t be too careful when it comes to deciding who to be with. I know for me, I had a lot of depression and a lot of heavy duty emotions to deal with when the relationship with my first fell through and no one to really go to for help. So I think it is very important that girls be told the whole story about what can happen.

    Girls need to be informed about their bodies. There are a lot of things I’ve learned only recently about my own body. There is a book that’s out now that I think all moms should get their girls, Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen’s Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body. It really goes into the whole process of the woman’s cycle. There’s one for adult women too by the same author. Birth control needs to really be researched and thoroughly looked over before it is given to a child/teenager. It can cause problems down the line, serious problems. Birth control pills are not as innocent as we would like to believe either. The backup method of preventing pregnancy is preventing a fertilized egg from implanting. That may not be acceptable to some parents who might otherwise consider birth control.

    Pam Stenzel is a speaker on abstinence and on sex and the risks of sex in general. I saw one of her videos and was impressed and I plan to show this to my daughter, not once but many many times as she is growing up. This is not something that should be talked about once, you have to keep talking to your kids. They forget things, especially in the heat of passion. Above all, make it safe for them to come to you, let them know you are not going to make fun of them or judge them and let them know they can come to you with any questions at any time. The questions may not be easy but if they can’t come to you, who can they talk to?

  8. Janie says:

    I have raised 5 children and I had the sex and std talk with them at at age 11. They were of course at that age “grossed out”. I also told them if they had questions they could always come to me. My sons were told always to have a condom with them as well as the girls. I also took each one of my daughters into have an exam and get a prescription for birth control pills. A lot of my friends disapproved. I would tell them, I cannot be with my teens 24 hours a day to protect them. Teens have a mind of there own, and sometimes will make a wrong decision. At least they will know what they need to do to protect themselves. And, I will not have to raise a grandchild because I buried my head in the sand and pretended they were not sexual beings. My children and I had a very good relationship, and they would talk to me about everything. I remember finding an empty condom box in my sons room. I did ask him about this, and his relply was “Mom you gave me the right to make my own decision, and you also gave me choices. I listened and maybe I have made a few wrong decisions, but I was prepared.” This said it all for me. All my children are grown now and happy and have made decisions when they sould start a family. Yes, I have grandchildren, but I don’t have to raise them, just enjoy them.

  9. Annette L. says:

    I am watching the Dr. Phil show about the family, he has been a part of their lives for the last 6 years or so. On todays show, Alex announces her third pregnancy. In all the talk from all the people involved on this show, NOT one person brought up the subject that even IF Alex had been on birth control; SHE could still have gotten pregnant. I am disappointed in Dr. Phil for not bringing this up to Alex and her family.

  10. Kelly says:

    There is no such thing as safe sex. Not even abstinence. Ask Mary.

  11. lady lea says:

    I was a teen mom and speak from experience, a teen mom needs to learn by doing and raise her child. its ok for the grandparents to help and they should when needed but the parents should have the responsibility of raising the baby.

  12. Stephanie says:

    I just found out last week that my 15 year old daugher is having sex with her boyfriend. I cried for 2 whole days! This is her first real boyfriend and I thought that it could happen but I still held out hope that they would wait. I read a text that she had went to his house before school one morning and I knew right a way what had happened. I asked her about it and she denied it at first and then the next day when I asked her again, she broke down and started crying and told me the truth. Her doctor had put her on birthcontrol last year due to her heavy periods, but I took her back as soon as I found out and let her doctor talk to her about the importance of being safe and protecting herself. Me nor her father in anyway want this for her but we also see now that no matter what we say, she’s going to do it anyway. This has been a very hard week on our family!

  13. Sharla says:

    I myself was pregnant at 18. I was unprepared and it was the biggest wake up call of my life. I chose to keep my son (who is now 15). I do not regret it at all. BUT and here’s the but. I lived next door to my parents and they helped me out alot. When a situation arose they were right there to help me out. They made me have the responibility of him i.e. no going out partying with my other young friends, going to school with a baby, etc. But they also helped me thru the fevers, and pink eye and I need formula and diapers. I think that it IS possible to keep a baby. However you need to have help somewhere. Your parents, a older friend, an aunt, a community outreach person someone needs to help but it can be done. These kids and parents need to stop fighting and work together for the good of that baby. As far as adoption, keeping etc. That is a very personal decision that the baby’s parents have to make. They are the one’s that have to live with it for the rest of their lives. My son turned out fine. It is weird being in your early 30’s and having a teen, but I almost gave him up and am soooo glad I didn’t. We are really close.

  14. kandace says:

    I was pregnant at 16 graduated high school never received welfare and got married.My baby is 5 years old. My Life has changed for the better,and to hear the way dr.phil talks about teen pregnancy just upsets me….I WOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN MY BABY UP….my parents helped me with my baby so I could get through high school, then I started working..yea some kids don’t need babies but I for one am so glad I had my baby..

  15. Kayla vanwinsen says:

    I’m 21 now and I had my son January of this year . I think that teens need to be responsible for their actions. I was on birth control but I still got pregnant, and even thoug I was 19 when I found out my mom still made me move out and raise my son on our own. There’s a difference when your parents help you out every now and then when your short on cash but I feel a teen knows what they’re doing so they need to be fully aware of the consequences for this action

  16. amanda says:

    i am 15 and have been dating the same boy for 7 months, we have had sex three times but i am not on the pill. we used condoms all three times, but i still get scared after, that i may be pregnant. I would go on the pill, but my mom is a very strict Christian and does not think i should have sex before marriage. I can go to a free clinic near my school, but my friend told me they sent a letter to her parents even though the program was supposed to be confidential. I am trying to convince my mom i need to go on the pill, or i would just go to the clinic, even though i am scared they will send a letter home. My boyfriend wants me to go on birth control, but i am scared to approach my mom about it. My mom has talked to me about sex since i was in fourth grade and always told me you wait until marriage, i never even knew people had sex before marriage until 7th grade. I cannot even talk to my mom about sex without getting frustrated about her narrow mind-ness. she thinks anyone who has sex is a bad person, and im scared she will not let me see my boyfriend, who lives an hour away, because she drives me there. i just wish i could get on the pill and be open with her. i think even though she has always talked about it, if she said it was alright, i would be more open with her, and now feel like i must hide alot of things from her. i know when i eventually have a kid i will address the issue early on and let them know i dont want them to have sex but if they are they should come to me and i will help them get condoms and/or birth control.

  17. Sharon says:

    That is the exact problem today with teens who have babies. Their parents take on the responsibility of feeding, bathing, changing, rocking etc. The teen learns nothing except that they made a “mistake” and some one will clean it up for them. I married at age 18 and also had my 1st daughter at 18 (yes she was planned!!!) and a year and 11 days later my 2nd daughter came (not planned). My husband and I lived alone and yes we did receive some help as far as money goes from my mom but that was about it. My children are 5&6 and we have maybe spent 10 nights away from them in their entire life (not that I’m complaining). We both had our GED’s when we first got together so we didn’t have to worry about school. We were on welfare for the first two years and now we make too much to receive any help, even though honestly we could use it. We have been married 7 years and are going strong and are two years into buying our house. I now have my phlebotomy certificate and soon will start my new career in a dr’s office and my husband has a great job making $18 an hour. I will not say that over these years we haven’t received help but because of the limitations of that help we were forced to “grow up”. Another friend of mine is in the same situation except she is now divorced after 2 years of marriage and because her parents do EVERYTHING she basically sees her child 30 hrs out of a week when there are 168 hr in a week. What does that tell the child? Mommy doesn’t care. It is unfair for grandparents to raise the grandkids because they have already “done their Job”, and on another note the parents of these teens want to say that their teen isn’t fit to raise a baby but the same could be said for them after all their 16 yr old got pregnant!

  18. Jennifer says:

    I just wanted to say that being taught how to use something wisely, does not mean that we will take the opportunity to use it. As a teenager in Canada, we go through sexual education classes, learning about different methods of contraception, teen pregnancy rates, and the risks and dangers of unsafe or early sex. Regardless of being taught this, the final decision is always going to rest with the teen. I learned about sex for years before I had sex with my now boyfriend. I think instead of stressing about sexual education, we need to focus on teaching children about healthy relationships. My parents, from the time I was about 13, began stressing to me the importance of establishing a relationship first. They told me that if I was unable to talk about all the gross and mundane parts of sex with my partner, then I was not ready to take that risk. I know that parents are afraid of their children growing up too fast, or ruining their lives with one stupid decision, but that fear should never outweigh the need to have frank and honest discussions with children. To summarize, education about sex, and readily available birth control are not the issue, whether or not you can talk to your children about healthy relationships is.

  19. tanya says:

    I was raped at 13 on a private-school field trip (with chaperones in the next room!). I chose to be sexually active about a year later and never stopped to ask myself why. I had mixed experiences with birth control throughout my life, but for the most part I just gambled with my health. Over the next twenty years, I had four abortions, one child while married, and shockingly, one more abortion when I was divorced and my child was about 7 (that was the only one I truly regretted). It took my divorce and being a single mom for me to first get the therapy I needed. Therapists generally agreed that I was abused by my father (though he never physically had sex with me). They said my husband was abusive as well. I am not fully convinced about these things….but since they were ‘normal’ for me, I don’t know what could have been different.

    I am a well educated, successful, intelligent woman, with a surprising lack of boundaries and concern for my own well being. I have battled depression my entire life. I think the fundamental reasons for teen pregnancy are many and complex….but I don’t think the issue is as simple as education about birth control.

    I think ultimately the issue is one of self esteem. Women who care about and for themselves would not allow themselves to become pregnant. I did not care about myself. I wanted to be liked/loved by whatever boy I was with. Sex is an easy way to think you are getting the love you can’t give yourself. I think if we taught our daughters to love themselves, and our sons to respect themselves and the women in their lives, then all of these issues of sex would be a lot easier to deal with.

    My son is now 12, and I already know he will be better prepared for sex and relationships than I ever was. His self esteem does not come from what other people think of him, and we talk about relationships all the time….in ways I never could with my own parents.

  20. Harry says:

    I am not against sex education in schools, but I do think it should be stressing abstinence. I really find it interesting that while we have been having more and more sex education, readily available contraception and abortions availability, the rate of STD’s (1in4 teen girls), teen pregnancies and abortions have skyrocketed! Obviously this has been a failure.

    Lets talk honestly about sex, including the myth of “safe sex”. There is no Safe Sex, only Safer Sex, as Contraceptives do not provided complete protection against STD’s or pregnancies. Lets also talk about the consequences of abortions, and the negative psychological and physical after affects. Lets also talk about the serious impact and consequences of getting involved in sexual relationships in the teens.

    I think TV and media gives an unrealistic and overly idealistic portrayal of sexual relationships. Sex can be awesome, but under the right circumstances, preferably within marriage.

  21. Karen says:

    I grew up in the 70’s and it was a different world then than it is now. I didn’t have sex before marriage because I had a wonderful relationship with my mother and she had several conversations with me about why it is better to wait. Not only was it because of my religion but also I didn’t want to bring shame to myself or my parents. When you said “NO” in the 70’s boys understood you were a nice girl, and don’t do that. By college it was easy if I have waited this long, why not wait till I meet the right young man that I want to spend the rest of my life with?

    I am a teacher and a Mom and sex today is so different. First of all just about everyone is doing it, and the word slut is a compliment. Casual sex with just anyone at a party is considered fun. I’m sorry to be so blunt but we were not like that in the 70’s. The same kind of sex education just isn’t effective. With my own daughter I have tried to be open and honest but I have no idea what she really does. She is quiet and won’t share. She says I think the worst, but as a teacher I see the worst. What are we to believe?

    Concerned parent and adult.

  22. Harry says:

    I hear quite a few contradictory statements from the teens on here. One suggests that she would be open to talk about it if her mom would approve of her having sex. Thats not a sign of maturity, or that you are ready for sex. Any mature parent who loves her child would not approve of their 15yr old daughter having sex.

    Another teen says she’s upset about Dr Phil and him saying that teens are not in a position to have sex and raise a baby. She said she doesn’t regret it, and did it with the help of her parents. That’s the problem, these teens are putting a lot of the responsibility of helping raise their babies and supporting them on their parents. Another sign of immaturity, and demonstrating that you are not ready for a sexual relationship, and definitely not ready for a baby.

  23. Angela says:

    I have to daughters and we’ve had the “sex talk” and I’ve also laid down my rules. There will be no “boyfriends” it okay to have guys that are your friends but there will be no couple dating. I’ve explained to my daughter’s and stressed to them the importance of their education and to feel good about themselves. If you have to have sex to feel apart or to feel good about yourself we need to talk about some other things. I’ve told them my own story about being a single parent without the help of the fathers, and that I didn’t plan to be just another baby mama. I’m tough I’ve been told, and I don’t care what family says, they might not mind their teenage daughters sneaking out bold in their face going off with a boyfriend but mind ain’t. I refuse to raise another generation of just some baby mama with some drama. There will be no birth control, I feel like if parents offer it they condone their kids going out having sex. I explained to my daughter I was on birth control too, little did that prove. I tell them when you think you’re ready to make those grown up consequences you’re also ready to accept those grown up consequences and when you’re ready to do that you’re ready to be on your own. That means you pay your rent or mortage, food clothes, car and alllllllllllll that go stuff that go with it. So happy living!

  24. Eve says:

    Why don’t we just implant Mirena in to every 12 year old girl and then again when they are 17. That way we won’t have kids having kids.

  25. Melissa says:

    I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 18. We didn’t start a relationship until I was 16 and it was also then that we started having sex. There were several times when it would have been possible for me to get pregnant, but it luckily never happened. My parents NEVER talked to me about sex. When I started having sex with him I was completely head-over-heels for him. Now, 12 years later, I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t fallen so hard for him back then. I find myself second guessing everything because I feel like I chose to be with him when I was WAY too young and now the head-over-heels feeling is long gone. What I want teens to know is that the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling ends real quick, but an STD, pregnancy or a marriage is a lot more permanent. Girls need to see that THIS is reality because believe me, one day soon they will wake up next to an overweight, hairy guy that doesn’t make nearly enough money and then they will be saying “what the heck was I thinking?!”.

  26. Kari says:

    I had my first born son when I was 15. My parents refused to discuss sex in our home and I learned very early that topic was off limits. As a result, (due to no sex education program at our high school) I was left to the information provided by my friends. Little supervision, no reliable information, and a little curiosity made me a teenage mom. This topic is something that is very close to my heart. I know that I am responsible for my decisions and I in no way point the finger, but in a way I feel that the adults in my life failed to protect me from my own ignorance, and shamed me for my poor decision. It has taken me many years to process the myriad of emotions that I experienced and the confusion. I was very lonely and scared and had very little support. I am currently pursuing a Bachelors Degree in physchology and eventually wish to work with pregnant teens/teen moms to help them deal with this very emotional and often time chaotic time in their lives. I also hope to have the opportunity to work with at risk girls to help deter them from teen pregnancy and set some higher educational and career goals.
    My son’s father and I (still married with 2 additional children) decided long ago that sex was not going to be a dirty word in our home and that we didn’t want our children to feel that they can’t ask questions. We won’t be able to save the world, but a good education and open conversation can most definitely make a huge difference.

  27. CRoach says:

    I think these shows “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” should be taken off the air. I read where they just finished choosing the teen moms to be featured on the show. It makes me sick. There is protection out there and yet we still have teen moms. I remember when I was 15 I told my mom that I wanted to have 6 kids. Well, when my sister went into labor my mother made me go in the delivery room and when I came out the number of kids I wanted fell DRASTICALLY. I am now 32 years old and have been happily married for 5 years. I have no biological children but I do have a stepson whom I love as my own. But, I’m glad that my mom made me go in there. It showed me the reality of what becoming a mother is. So, to all the teenagers wanting to become pregnant….my advice to you is remember…what goes in MUST come out and is usually much bigger than what was put in.

  28. Nicolette says:

    I have only one comment in reflection of the previous comments. No matter the side that you take on this opinion, the morals and facts about sexual education can not be put on the schools. The schools can not teach everything…with state tests and limited budgets you can wash that idea down the sink. And most definitely schools can not provide moral opinion or faith driven teachings on anything including whether to abstain until marriage. They can only provide the facts. Every parent must take the responsibility to educate themselves and have an active role in teaching, sharing and caring about their childrens sexual choices and health. That is the only way we will have a real impact on this issue.

  29. Danielle L says:

    ok well I’ve read through most of the comments here and there is some very intelligent information here. My story is a little bit different i’m not the young women or a mother(well i ambut i’ll get to that after) talking about birth control. I’m a 36 year old women who was a teen mother 3 times over. When I was 15 I met a 25 year old man. My young and inexperience mind told me that the best way to hold on to him was to have his child. Yes dumb, I know. As they say if I only knew then what I know now. I had my first at 16, my second at 17 and my last at 19. So yes i was raising 3 kids by the age of 19. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I screwed it up completely. I had no idea how to be a parent. All I knew is that I had a very strict father and a completely over barring mother and I was not going to be that way with my children. Now my kids and I are the best of friends but they have had no parenting and have no idea how to live in the real world. I spend the first 6 yrs of their life with and abusive boyfriend (their father) and then the next 5 on welfare. My kids never had a chance. I didn’t even know what a parenting course was. Oh and I would like to point out that my parents did have me on birth control but I chose to stop because I wanted a baby. So it’s not always about knowing and learning about birth control. Our kids need to know the gravity of their action but how do you teach that? I know myself I was never one to learn by other peoples mistakes I had to make my own but now my kids did and are paying for my choices. ok I guess i’m just rambling now. I just wanted to say how great I think it is that Dr.Phil and other shows like his are trying to make people aware.

  30. Elle Law says:

    Regarding teen sex and their unwillingness to use any type of birth control. MTV recently took a poll of college women and they admitted they don’t use birth control! This is truely shocking. Why?? Teens get sex ed, and it seems to me that if they sext, send nude pics of themselves, why can’t they google Birth Control? Why? Because they are arrogant, voluntarily clueless and lazy. I blame the parents for these characteristic they allow to develope in their child. They don’t want to do what is necessary and treat sex like an elective or sport. As a woman who found herself pregnant in ‘68,when I was barely 21( putting the time in context, that was considered young for women back then, and most were sent down the path of marriage, esp. if you were Catholic) I had sex with a guy who put the condom on and then in the midst of things pulled it off. When I protested he didn;t care. No one told me it was rape. He, to this day, has denied any involvement, but I have Made Sure this did not happen again. Our teens and young folks dont give a fig. They refuse to take advantage of what we Feminists marched for. And then when they get prego, they expect the rest of us, to jump and help. I love the fact that when I must go to human services for help ( I am low income and disabled and unlike other women in this condition, made sure I didint bring a child into a world where I could not support them). Personally, I am sick and tired of this topic and the clueless, snotty, ignorant behavior that taxpayers wind up paying for. Want to cut the number of teen pregnancies after the first one? Since they will receive, free counseling, subsidized housing, food stamps, in Coorado FREE health and dental care for their child, free job placement and all the other perks of the Welfarians ( those who have no problem going on welfare and who stay there), then I suggest they send the bill to these teen mothers, and when they get work and free day care for their kids they failed to plan for, then take $25 out of their paychecks toward payment of the bill. Maybe if they didn;t treat sex as an elective or a sport, and had to pay up, they might think twice both in having sex, in getting on bc and in telling these guys they have no problem flirting with on the bus, bugger off.
    In this day and age, we seem to cater to these kids who will have what they want no matter how hard their parents try. They don;t care and since they don;t care, then they need to pay. They are not fit to be a mother at age 16 ( I don;t care how much they have baby sat or how many siblings they grew up with )
    The taxpayers need to get up in arms and stop this madness. The fact that schools barely have enough money in their budgets for students who actually want a future, and have to set up special school for teen mothers who have to take their kids with them is disgusting, Get money from the parents for this and stop expecting the rest of us to handle it. Parents these days are impotent, never really know where their kids are, are too busy on the computer to make sure their kids are on the straight and narrow.
    Wake up taxpayers! You are the suckers and its time to rise up and stop this crap of supporting those who give no thought to their actions or consequences.
    Kids can;t google the info they need on birth control and why is a 14 yr old thinking of having sex? You arent old enough, you arent mature enough and how
    dare you think you are entitled to have a child.
    What is so pathetic that these young women ( teens thru collage) don’t aspire to motherhood as in the past; they simply don’t care that they aren’t ready to interrupt their studies, and be a mother. Sad, truely sad.

  31. Kelly says:

    I am 28 years old. When I was 16 years old I had a baby. I did not believe in taking the pill at the time, I would not even get on it. But My husband and I did use protection. At the time I got pregnant I was facing some real family issues. I felt that my mother did not pay attention to me or even care about me. To this day I know that she loves me but I also know she treats my brothers differently. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted it one so bad because I thought at least the baby would love me. My boyfriend at the time didn’t want to have children but for some reason went along with my crazy logic. I did end up getting pregnant and after our son was born we got married. We are still married today. I am watching the show now. The parents are really controlling the situation. The mother Marcie said over and over again that these kids need stability. Though she let her daughter leave her home and knew what her daughter was doing. Is that really the stable parent talking. I know these kids might not being doing what their parents want and the parent Chris has no idea whats going on. I think that this kids do need to go to parenting class. I think they need to be VERY aware of how much responsibility a child takes. The thing is I sorta knew how much a child would take having but I also knew, i wanted to finish school. So I went to school during the day worked a evening shift and my husband worked a night shift. We made it work till I got out of school. Then I went to college and got a full time position. I can say I am still in college, but my children are all right. Thanks for letting me get that out.

  32. Jana says:

    Why do Eupropeans like the French have a low teen birth rate? Maybe it’s because they don’t treat their 9 year olds like children. On the other hand, they do a lot of things we Americans think are trash.

    Anyway, the reason they have a low birth rate among teens is probably because they give their 9 year old KIDS instruction on birth control. On the other hand, they also believe that at 9 you are an adult.

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