Comments on: The Birth Control Debate http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/ Dr. Phil- Start A Change Reaction Sat, 15 Jun 2013 14:27:50 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Jana http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-21502 Jana Fri, 08 Apr 2011 05:34:29 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-21502 Why do Eupropeans like the French have a low teen birth rate? Maybe it's because they don't treat their 9 year olds like children. On the other hand, they do a lot of things we Americans think are trash. Anyway, the reason they have a low birth rate among teens is probably because they give their 9 year old KIDS instruction on birth control. On the other hand, they also believe that at 9 you are an adult. Why do Eupropeans like the French have a low teen birth rate? Maybe it’s because they don’t treat their 9 year olds like children. On the other hand, they do a lot of things we Americans think are trash.

Anyway, the reason they have a low birth rate among teens is probably because they give their 9 year old KIDS instruction on birth control. On the other hand, they also believe that at 9 you are an adult.

]]> By: Kelly http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-21183 Kelly Wed, 23 Mar 2011 02:57:16 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-21183 I am 28 years old. When I was 16 years old I had a baby. I did not believe in taking the pill at the time, I would not even get on it. But My husband and I did use protection. At the time I got pregnant I was facing some real family issues. I felt that my mother did not pay attention to me or even care about me. To this day I know that she loves me but I also know she treats my brothers differently. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted it one so bad because I thought at least the baby would love me. My boyfriend at the time didn't want to have children but for some reason went along with my crazy logic. I did end up getting pregnant and after our son was born we got married. We are still married today. I am watching the show now. The parents are really controlling the situation. The mother Marcie said over and over again that these kids need stability. Though she let her daughter leave her home and knew what her daughter was doing. Is that really the stable parent talking. I know these kids might not being doing what their parents want and the parent Chris has no idea whats going on. I think that this kids do need to go to parenting class. I think they need to be VERY aware of how much responsibility a child takes. The thing is I sorta knew how much a child would take having but I also knew, i wanted to finish school. So I went to school during the day worked a evening shift and my husband worked a night shift. We made it work till I got out of school. Then I went to college and got a full time position. I can say I am still in college, but my children are all right. Thanks for letting me get that out. I am 28 years old. When I was 16 years old I had a baby. I did not believe in taking the pill at the time, I would not even get on it. But My husband and I did use protection. At the time I got pregnant I was facing some real family issues. I felt that my mother did not pay attention to me or even care about me. To this day I know that she loves me but I also know she treats my brothers differently. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted it one so bad because I thought at least the baby would love me. My boyfriend at the time didn’t want to have children but for some reason went along with my crazy logic. I did end up getting pregnant and after our son was born we got married. We are still married today. I am watching the show now. The parents are really controlling the situation. The mother Marcie said over and over again that these kids need stability. Though she let her daughter leave her home and knew what her daughter was doing. Is that really the stable parent talking. I know these kids might not being doing what their parents want and the parent Chris has no idea whats going on. I think that this kids do need to go to parenting class. I think they need to be VERY aware of how much responsibility a child takes. The thing is I sorta knew how much a child would take having but I also knew, i wanted to finish school. So I went to school during the day worked a evening shift and my husband worked a night shift. We made it work till I got out of school. Then I went to college and got a full time position. I can say I am still in college, but my children are all right. Thanks for letting me get that out.

]]> By: Elle Law http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-21182 Elle Law Wed, 23 Mar 2011 01:12:23 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-21182 Regarding teen sex and their unwillingness to use any type of birth control. MTV recently took a poll of college women and they admitted they don't use birth control! This is truely shocking. Why?? Teens get sex ed, and it seems to me that if they sext, send nude pics of themselves, why can't they google Birth Control? Why? Because they are arrogant, voluntarily clueless and lazy. I blame the parents for these characteristic they allow to develope in their child. They don't want to do what is necessary and treat sex like an elective or sport. As a woman who found herself pregnant in '68,when I was barely 21( putting the time in context, that was considered young for women back then, and most were sent down the path of marriage, esp. if you were Catholic) I had sex with a guy who put the condom on and then in the midst of things pulled it off. When I protested he didn;t care. No one told me it was rape. He, to this day, has denied any involvement, but I have Made Sure this did not happen again. Our teens and young folks dont give a fig. They refuse to take advantage of what we Feminists marched for. And then when they get prego, they expect the rest of us, to jump and help. I love the fact that when I must go to human services for help ( I am low income and disabled and unlike other women in this condition, made sure I didint bring a child into a world where I could not support them). Personally, I am sick and tired of this topic and the clueless, snotty, ignorant behavior that taxpayers wind up paying for. Want to cut the number of teen pregnancies after the first one? Since they will receive, free counseling, subsidized housing, food stamps, in Coorado FREE health and dental care for their child, free job placement and all the other perks of the Welfarians ( those who have no problem going on welfare and who stay there), then I suggest they send the bill to these teen mothers, and when they get work and free day care for their kids they failed to plan for, then take $25 out of their paychecks toward payment of the bill. Maybe if they didn;t treat sex as an elective or a sport, and had to pay up, they might think twice both in having sex, in getting on bc and in telling these guys they have no problem flirting with on the bus, bugger off. In this day and age, we seem to cater to these kids who will have what they want no matter how hard their parents try. They don;t care and since they don;t care, then they need to pay. They are not fit to be a mother at age 16 ( I don;t care how much they have baby sat or how many siblings they grew up with ) The taxpayers need to get up in arms and stop this madness. The fact that schools barely have enough money in their budgets for students who actually want a future, and have to set up special school for teen mothers who have to take their kids with them is disgusting, Get money from the parents for this and stop expecting the rest of us to handle it. Parents these days are impotent, never really know where their kids are, are too busy on the computer to make sure their kids are on the straight and narrow. Wake up taxpayers! You are the suckers and its time to rise up and stop this crap of supporting those who give no thought to their actions or consequences. Kids can;t google the info they need on birth control and why is a 14 yr old thinking of having sex? You arent old enough, you arent mature enough and how dare you think you are entitled to have a child. What is so pathetic that these young women ( teens thru collage) don't aspire to motherhood as in the past; they simply don't care that they aren't ready to interrupt their studies, and be a mother. Sad, truely sad. Regarding teen sex and their unwillingness to use any type of birth control. MTV recently took a poll of college women and they admitted they don’t use birth control! This is truely shocking. Why?? Teens get sex ed, and it seems to me that if they sext, send nude pics of themselves, why can’t they google Birth Control? Why? Because they are arrogant, voluntarily clueless and lazy. I blame the parents for these characteristic they allow to develope in their child. They don’t want to do what is necessary and treat sex like an elective or sport. As a woman who found herself pregnant in ‘68,when I was barely 21( putting the time in context, that was considered young for women back then, and most were sent down the path of marriage, esp. if you were Catholic) I had sex with a guy who put the condom on and then in the midst of things pulled it off. When I protested he didn;t care. No one told me it was rape. He, to this day, has denied any involvement, but I have Made Sure this did not happen again. Our teens and young folks dont give a fig. They refuse to take advantage of what we Feminists marched for. And then when they get prego, they expect the rest of us, to jump and help. I love the fact that when I must go to human services for help ( I am low income and disabled and unlike other women in this condition, made sure I didint bring a child into a world where I could not support them). Personally, I am sick and tired of this topic and the clueless, snotty, ignorant behavior that taxpayers wind up paying for. Want to cut the number of teen pregnancies after the first one? Since they will receive, free counseling, subsidized housing, food stamps, in Coorado FREE health and dental care for their child, free job placement and all the other perks of the Welfarians ( those who have no problem going on welfare and who stay there), then I suggest they send the bill to these teen mothers, and when they get work and free day care for their kids they failed to plan for, then take $25 out of their paychecks toward payment of the bill. Maybe if they didn;t treat sex as an elective or a sport, and had to pay up, they might think twice both in having sex, in getting on bc and in telling these guys they have no problem flirting with on the bus, bugger off.
In this day and age, we seem to cater to these kids who will have what they want no matter how hard their parents try. They don;t care and since they don;t care, then they need to pay. They are not fit to be a mother at age 16 ( I don;t care how much they have baby sat or how many siblings they grew up with )
The taxpayers need to get up in arms and stop this madness. The fact that schools barely have enough money in their budgets for students who actually want a future, and have to set up special school for teen mothers who have to take their kids with them is disgusting, Get money from the parents for this and stop expecting the rest of us to handle it. Parents these days are impotent, never really know where their kids are, are too busy on the computer to make sure their kids are on the straight and narrow.
Wake up taxpayers! You are the suckers and its time to rise up and stop this crap of supporting those who give no thought to their actions or consequences.
Kids can;t google the info they need on birth control and why is a 14 yr old thinking of having sex? You arent old enough, you arent mature enough and how
dare you think you are entitled to have a child.
What is so pathetic that these young women ( teens thru collage) don’t aspire to motherhood as in the past; they simply don’t care that they aren’t ready to interrupt their studies, and be a mother. Sad, truely sad.

]]> By: Danielle L http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-21179 Danielle L Tue, 22 Mar 2011 22:22:44 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-21179 ok well I've read through most of the comments here and there is some very intelligent information here. My story is a little bit different i'm not the young women or a mother(well i ambut i'll get to that after) talking about birth control. I'm a 36 year old women who was a teen mother 3 times over. When I was 15 I met a 25 year old man. My young and inexperience mind told me that the best way to hold on to him was to have his child. Yes dumb, I know. As they say if I only knew then what I know now. I had my first at 16, my second at 17 and my last at 19. So yes i was raising 3 kids by the age of 19. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I screwed it up completely. I had no idea how to be a parent. All I knew is that I had a very strict father and a completely over barring mother and I was not going to be that way with my children. Now my kids and I are the best of friends but they have had no parenting and have no idea how to live in the real world. I spend the first 6 yrs of their life with and abusive boyfriend (their father) and then the next 5 on welfare. My kids never had a chance. I didn't even know what a parenting course was. Oh and I would like to point out that my parents did have me on birth control but I chose to stop because I wanted a baby. So it's not always about knowing and learning about birth control. Our kids need to know the gravity of their action but how do you teach that? I know myself I was never one to learn by other peoples mistakes I had to make my own but now my kids did and are paying for my choices. ok I guess i'm just rambling now. I just wanted to say how great I think it is that Dr.Phil and other shows like his are trying to make people aware. ok well I’ve read through most of the comments here and there is some very intelligent information here. My story is a little bit different i’m not the young women or a mother(well i ambut i’ll get to that after) talking about birth control. I’m a 36 year old women who was a teen mother 3 times over. When I was 15 I met a 25 year old man. My young and inexperience mind told me that the best way to hold on to him was to have his child. Yes dumb, I know. As they say if I only knew then what I know now. I had my first at 16, my second at 17 and my last at 19. So yes i was raising 3 kids by the age of 19. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I screwed it up completely. I had no idea how to be a parent. All I knew is that I had a very strict father and a completely over barring mother and I was not going to be that way with my children. Now my kids and I are the best of friends but they have had no parenting and have no idea how to live in the real world. I spend the first 6 yrs of their life with and abusive boyfriend (their father) and then the next 5 on welfare. My kids never had a chance. I didn’t even know what a parenting course was. Oh and I would like to point out that my parents did have me on birth control but I chose to stop because I wanted a baby. So it’s not always about knowing and learning about birth control. Our kids need to know the gravity of their action but how do you teach that? I know myself I was never one to learn by other peoples mistakes I had to make my own but now my kids did and are paying for my choices. ok I guess i’m just rambling now. I just wanted to say how great I think it is that Dr.Phil and other shows like his are trying to make people aware.

]]> By: Nicolette http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-21177 Nicolette Tue, 22 Mar 2011 22:12:30 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-21177 I have only one comment in reflection of the previous comments. No matter the side that you take on this opinion, the morals and facts about sexual education can not be put on the schools. The schools can not teach everything...with state tests and limited budgets you can wash that idea down the sink. And most definitely schools can not provide moral opinion or faith driven teachings on anything including whether to abstain until marriage. They can only provide the facts. Every parent must take the responsibility to educate themselves and have an active role in teaching, sharing and caring about their childrens sexual choices and health. That is the only way we will have a real impact on this issue. I have only one comment in reflection of the previous comments. No matter the side that you take on this opinion, the morals and facts about sexual education can not be put on the schools. The schools can not teach everything…with state tests and limited budgets you can wash that idea down the sink. And most definitely schools can not provide moral opinion or faith driven teachings on anything including whether to abstain until marriage. They can only provide the facts. Every parent must take the responsibility to educate themselves and have an active role in teaching, sharing and caring about their childrens sexual choices and health. That is the only way we will have a real impact on this issue.

]]> By: CRoach http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-20102 CRoach Thu, 16 Dec 2010 13:28:24 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-20102 I think these shows "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" should be taken off the air. I read where they just finished choosing the teen moms to be featured on the show. It makes me sick. There is protection out there and yet we still have teen moms. I remember when I was 15 I told my mom that I wanted to have 6 kids. Well, when my sister went into labor my mother made me go in the delivery room and when I came out the number of kids I wanted fell DRASTICALLY. I am now 32 years old and have been happily married for 5 years. I have no biological children but I do have a stepson whom I love as my own. But, I'm glad that my mom made me go in there. It showed me the reality of what becoming a mother is. So, to all the teenagers wanting to become pregnant....my advice to you is remember...what goes in MUST come out and is usually much bigger than what was put in. I think these shows “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” should be taken off the air. I read where they just finished choosing the teen moms to be featured on the show. It makes me sick. There is protection out there and yet we still have teen moms. I remember when I was 15 I told my mom that I wanted to have 6 kids. Well, when my sister went into labor my mother made me go in the delivery room and when I came out the number of kids I wanted fell DRASTICALLY. I am now 32 years old and have been happily married for 5 years. I have no biological children but I do have a stepson whom I love as my own. But, I’m glad that my mom made me go in there. It showed me the reality of what becoming a mother is. So, to all the teenagers wanting to become pregnant….my advice to you is remember…what goes in MUST come out and is usually much bigger than what was put in.

]]> By: Kari http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-18713 Kari Thu, 11 Nov 2010 22:53:10 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-18713 I had my first born son when I was 15. My parents refused to discuss sex in our home and I learned very early that topic was off limits. As a result, (due to no sex education program at our high school) I was left to the information provided by my friends. Little supervision, no reliable information, and a little curiosity made me a teenage mom. This topic is something that is very close to my heart. I know that I am responsible for my decisions and I in no way point the finger, but in a way I feel that the adults in my life failed to protect me from my own ignorance, and shamed me for my poor decision. It has taken me many years to process the myriad of emotions that I experienced and the confusion. I was very lonely and scared and had very little support. I am currently pursuing a Bachelors Degree in physchology and eventually wish to work with pregnant teens/teen moms to help them deal with this very emotional and often time chaotic time in their lives. I also hope to have the opportunity to work with at risk girls to help deter them from teen pregnancy and set some higher educational and career goals. My son's father and I (still married with 2 additional children) decided long ago that sex was not going to be a dirty word in our home and that we didn't want our children to feel that they can't ask questions. We won't be able to save the world, but a good education and open conversation can most definitely make a huge difference. I had my first born son when I was 15. My parents refused to discuss sex in our home and I learned very early that topic was off limits. As a result, (due to no sex education program at our high school) I was left to the information provided by my friends. Little supervision, no reliable information, and a little curiosity made me a teenage mom. This topic is something that is very close to my heart. I know that I am responsible for my decisions and I in no way point the finger, but in a way I feel that the adults in my life failed to protect me from my own ignorance, and shamed me for my poor decision. It has taken me many years to process the myriad of emotions that I experienced and the confusion. I was very lonely and scared and had very little support. I am currently pursuing a Bachelors Degree in physchology and eventually wish to work with pregnant teens/teen moms to help them deal with this very emotional and often time chaotic time in their lives. I also hope to have the opportunity to work with at risk girls to help deter them from teen pregnancy and set some higher educational and career goals.
My son’s father and I (still married with 2 additional children) decided long ago that sex was not going to be a dirty word in our home and that we didn’t want our children to feel that they can’t ask questions. We won’t be able to save the world, but a good education and open conversation can most definitely make a huge difference.

]]> By: Melissa http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-18694 Melissa Wed, 10 Nov 2010 03:41:03 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-18694 I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 18. We didn't start a relationship until I was 16 and it was also then that we started having sex. There were several times when it would have been possible for me to get pregnant, but it luckily never happened. My parents NEVER talked to me about sex. When I started having sex with him I was completely head-over-heels for him. Now, 12 years later, I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't fallen so hard for him back then. I find myself second guessing everything because I feel like I chose to be with him when I was WAY too young and now the head-over-heels feeling is long gone. What I want teens to know is that the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling ends real quick, but an STD, pregnancy or a marriage is a lot more permanent. Girls need to see that THIS is reality because believe me, one day soon they will wake up next to an overweight, hairy guy that doesn't make nearly enough money and then they will be saying "what the heck was I thinking?!". I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 18. We didn’t start a relationship until I was 16 and it was also then that we started having sex. There were several times when it would have been possible for me to get pregnant, but it luckily never happened. My parents NEVER talked to me about sex. When I started having sex with him I was completely head-over-heels for him. Now, 12 years later, I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t fallen so hard for him back then. I find myself second guessing everything because I feel like I chose to be with him when I was WAY too young and now the head-over-heels feeling is long gone. What I want teens to know is that the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling ends real quick, but an STD, pregnancy or a marriage is a lot more permanent. Girls need to see that THIS is reality because believe me, one day soon they will wake up next to an overweight, hairy guy that doesn’t make nearly enough money and then they will be saying “what the heck was I thinking?!”.

]]> By: Eve http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-18692 Eve Wed, 10 Nov 2010 02:55:47 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-18692 Why don't we just implant Mirena in to every 12 year old girl and then again when they are 17. That way we won't have kids having kids. Why don’t we just implant Mirena in to every 12 year old girl and then again when they are 17. That way we won’t have kids having kids.

]]> By: Angela http://blog.drphil.com/2009/09/23/the-birth-control-debate/comment-page-4/#comment-18680 Angela Tue, 09 Nov 2010 06:50:33 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=1460#comment-18680 I have to daughters and we've had the "sex talk" and I've also laid down my rules. There will be no "boyfriends" it okay to have guys that are your friends but there will be no couple dating. I've explained to my daughter's and stressed to them the importance of their education and to feel good about themselves. If you have to have sex to feel apart or to feel good about yourself we need to talk about some other things. I've told them my own story about being a single parent without the help of the fathers, and that I didn't plan to be just another baby mama. I'm tough I've been told, and I don't care what family says, they might not mind their teenage daughters sneaking out bold in their face going off with a boyfriend but mind ain't. I refuse to raise another generation of just some baby mama with some drama. There will be no birth control, I feel like if parents offer it they condone their kids going out having sex. I explained to my daughter I was on birth control too, little did that prove. I tell them when you think you're ready to make those grown up consequences you're also ready to accept those grown up consequences and when you're ready to do that you're ready to be on your own. That means you pay your rent or mortage, food clothes, car and alllllllllllll that go stuff that go with it. So happy living! I have to daughters and we’ve had the “sex talk” and I’ve also laid down my rules. There will be no “boyfriends” it okay to have guys that are your friends but there will be no couple dating. I’ve explained to my daughter’s and stressed to them the importance of their education and to feel good about themselves. If you have to have sex to feel apart or to feel good about yourself we need to talk about some other things. I’ve told them my own story about being a single parent without the help of the fathers, and that I didn’t plan to be just another baby mama. I’m tough I’ve been told, and I don’t care what family says, they might not mind their teenage daughters sneaking out bold in their face going off with a boyfriend but mind ain’t. I refuse to raise another generation of just some baby mama with some drama. There will be no birth control, I feel like if parents offer it they condone their kids going out having sex. I explained to my daughter I was on birth control too, little did that prove. I tell them when you think you’re ready to make those grown up consequences you’re also ready to accept those grown up consequences and when you’re ready to do that you’re ready to be on your own. That means you pay your rent or mortage, food clothes, car and alllllllllllll that go stuff that go with it. So happy living!

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