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Bishop T.D. Jakes
Bishop T. D. Jakes is founder and senior pastor of the legendary 30,000-member Dallas-based church, The Potter’s House. Named by Time magazine as “America’s Best Preacher,” Bishop Jakes’ message of healing and restoration is unparalleled, transcending cultural and denominational barriers within the church and beyond.
September 25th, 2009 by Bishop T.D. Jakes

How to Get out of an Emotional Rut

Below is an insightful post from my good friend, the Bishop T.D. Jakes. Bishop Jakes pastors a mega church in Dallas, Texas with a congregation in excess of 30,000. He carries his message around the globe, and in fact, a live audience of more than 1,000,000 people recently turned out to hear him speak in Kenya. He is a husband, father and all around good guy!

prayFrom relationships to the economy, there are many circumstances in life that can drive a person into what is called an emotional rut. An emotional rut can occur when we allow our emotional state to be driven by our circumstances causing us to get stuck in an unhealthy, fluctuating emotional state of mind. One moment we are happy, then sad, angry or overwhelmed. Granted, these are natural emotions that affect everyone. However, if left unchecked, we allow manageable emotions to be controlled by uncontrollable circumstances. 

I can remember one evening long ago when I was driving down the road and as I approached the turn, my car slid on loose gravel, went out of control and ended up on the side of the road. Still startled by this uncontrollable ride that I had just experienced, I attempted to get back on the main road. After accelerating a few times, I soon realized that my car was stuck in a rut. I tried everything I could to get out. I spun my tires forward and backward and soon realized that the rut I was stuck in was only getting deeper. I wanted to get out, but there I was — stuck.

In hindsight, I realized that there were four critical steps I followed to get out of the rut and back on to the safety of the main road. I believe that those same four steps can also guide you out of the emotional rut that has you stuck on the side of this fast-paced road of life.

Step 1: Stop spinning your wheels

When your vehicle gets stuck in a rut one of the worst things you can do is continue pressing on the gas, because your wheels begin to spin and dig your car deeper into the ground. The same advice applies when you are in an emotional rut; stop spinning your wheels. Stop doing the same things over and over that have gotten you stuck in the first place, because you will just dig yourself deeper. Instead, stop, assess the situation and admit that you are stuck.

Step 2: Signal for help

When you are stuck on the side of the road, there are two types of people that you will come across when you signal for help, those who see you need help but don’t stop or those who stop and utter one of the most comforting questions ever asked, “Do you need any help?”  The same idea applies when you are in an emotional rut, signal for help. Yes, there are some people who will keep on going; however, there are those who pull off the busy road of life to say, “Do you need any help?” Understand that help can come in the form of a trusted friend or a professional counselor, but you must let someone know that you are stuck in an emotional place.

Step 3: Take the towline

One of the most effective ways to pull a car out of a rut is to use a towline from another car. A towline can be as simple as tying a rope to the base of both cars. The vehicle that is on stable, balanced ground begins to accelerate and pull the other car out of its rut. It is important to know that the car that is stuck must accelerate as well so that both cars work together.  When you are in an emotional rut, accept the towline.  Said another way, take the lifeline. When someone throws you a line, grab it and allow them to help pull you out.

Step 4: Carefully merge back into traffic

happyOnce your car has been freed from the rut, accelerate slowly and carefully merge back onto the road and continue toward your destination.   Also, be aware that your car might have experienced undetected damage. Similarly, when you have come out of your emotional rut, don’t jump right back into the business of life. Take your time. And, just like your car, there might be some unseen damage that has occurred on your way out of your emotional rut. So start off slowly and pay attention to the indicator on your emotional dashboard for any signs of unseen internal damage. Understand that our emotions are powerful indicators of how we are managing the complexities of life, so pay attention when your check engine light comes on.

I am pleased to say that I survived my experience and learned a valuable lesson in the process. I have learned that it is not just the large objects that obstruct our progress on the road of life, but it’s often the small unchecked gravel-like issues that can often leave us in a rut.

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94 Responses to “How to Get out of an Emotional Rut”

  1. vince says:

    Terri i already tried to fall off the face of this planet, even went as far as to ask Dr Phil to arange me a ride up on the next space mission and all i wanted was a ride up and let out inspace i did not want to even come back, that was then tho and now i relly am glad the good doc probley did not read that post cause after i pulled that anti christ crap i pulled he would have jumped at the opp to rid this world of a nut like me, turned out i am bipolar and have a few other mental issues but i can live with my problems now that im on the correct meds, i did turn to God for help and i assure you help he did indeed in a way only God could help, no matter what life throws at me i will do my best to over-come it any way i have too, trust me hell aint no place to want to go to for no reason at all, i have had 3 wives that loved nothing aboutr me but my pay check, but atleast with my second marrage i got a son who is 20 now so no matter what happens to me i will try with all my heart to stay in good spirits even if its just a act to show for my son, instead of sending myself to hell i just send all my pain there to take my place. my hearing is bad my eyes are shot and im always in some kind of pain but i do over come the pain with a couple of tylenol and the beleif that god will reward me for my efforts, and he does my pain goes away till the next day and i start my ritual all over again. 2 tylenol and a prayer. im still in a ditch but at least my car can use that ditch as a guide to keep me going in a straight line and even get me around a curve or two when those come up.

  2. tina jones says:

    i thought i would be better off dead and then maybe my family would come together maybe this guy has some answers

  3. vince says:

    tina jones if i had to die for my family to come togather it aint gunna happen, i would be better off just walking away with what life i got left than to give so much to get them togather, maybe you need to let your family know just how baddly you want to see them all togather and see if it makes a differance, if not nothing lost any-how, but you never know till you try, any way it aint worth dieing over by no means, at-least to me it wouldnt be i can walk away and be much happer knowing i tried with all my heart to get the family togather just short of a funeral, i felt like that one time but i saw that i did indeed have a couple in my family that just did not care so i developed there line of thinking hell it worked for them i figured i would try this too, heheheh guess what? it workes just fine for me too, all i care about is my mom my son and my self now, if my other family members come to see me im always happy to see them and if they dont im just as happy to not see them, and i am alive to know the differance too.

  4. vince says:

    Dr Phil its that time of year again when we have to guard our black cats with our very lives and for the life of me i refuse to even try to understand why people think they can become a damn witch for mutelating a poor kitten of cat just because there black in color, i wish you would do a show on this topic to save a few of Gods critters from a grusum death that is so pointless, i have a few of these gothis kids around my neighborhood doc, why do people not teach kids that there aint a way they can have special powers?some kids grow up beleiving they can, hell doc maybe i need to just crank up the anti christ in my neighborhood lol, maybe scare the pure hell out of a few gothics here hahahaha. after all it already landed me in rehab 2 times and in a mental hospital 1 time but that was not a laughing matter i assure you but still it could serve my cause i bet lol. ya see what has me in this mood is last night some-one sneeked up on my front poarch and stold the damn bowl i feed my cats in and i know for a face this happened after midnight doc cause i refilled the bowl at 11:30pm cause i have a couple of neighbors cats that come and eat here aswell so i always make sure thers something there for them to eat, i would only hope my neighbors would be so kind but one some where around me is not or there just so hungry they would eat spacial kitty dry cat food or there hurting so bad for dishes that they have to sneek out and steal what they can find out in peoples yards, hell doc if a person was that hungry all they got to do is knock on my door i always got some left overs i would be most happy to share and i even got some dishes left over from my last marriage that went bad i would be happy to give them, but my mind is indeed screwed up doc so i think some one is trying to get a bowl my cat is use to in a attempt to lure the poor critter to them for a gothic reason, and that will be bad if my cat didnt come home one night doc, all i can think of is a damn witch want-to-be running louse in my hood, and thats scarry, but the anti christ can deal with a witch in double time lol, i would hate to start off my new found sanaty in this manner sir, it aint nothing to laugh at i know doc but when i think of all the pure stupid stuff i posted i had ot be totaly out of my mind, even now my mind tells me to not take my meds but my heart tells me to take them and i always listen to my heart doc, i guess its a good thing to know when your mind talks and your heart talks and to know the differance between the two, i take my meds faithfuly every night just as the doctors told me too so im good and glad i do, just wish some moms and dady would get a grip on there gothic kids and set them straight fast b4 that anti christ comes out to play again, hell fire he even scares me now and im 52 years old and im no coward but im scared of that critter for sure, maybe i need to dress the part of satan this year and go out and trick or treat my hood to let them know im alive and watching there kids so if nothing else parents will be damn sure there own kids are safely tucked in there beds at night where they need to be after midnight. heack the worse that can happen to me is a free ride back to rehab till they do blood work and find that im on my meds lol, but i relly hate to make people scared of me doc but i would rather that then watch Gods cats get slaughtered every year for no reason, people need to stop doing that to cats i think there pure rasist against the color black myself tho, i do pray about this problem doc and it is a real problem that grows every year at halloween, i dont even want to give out candy no more cause some people put stuff in candy for little kids for what reason ill never know, hell im a drug addic and i would have loved to get candy loaded with drugs myself and the funny thing is i probley would enjoy the damn ride even if it cose me my life doc. i am so happy that the churches give partys for the kids on halloween night rather than the old trick or treating we use to enjoy as kids oue-selves, its a damn shame kids cant be safe going from house to house knocking on doors and yelling trick or treat, wtf is wrong with people doc? there just kids, these gothics i see are teens way too big to play with the powers of hell, little do they understand this is Gods world and satan wont get a ticket in here till God him self sets him free from hell.

  5. Sandra says:

    A Key to having peace of mind is understanding what the heck is going On
    Again this is not to promote a certain religion, as you can see it is taken directly from the bible.

    THE Bible foretold that mankind would experience “critical times hard to deal with.” It describes this period as “the last days.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5; 2 Peter 3:3-7) Jesus Christ spoke of this same era when answering a question posed by his disciples regarding “the conclusion of the system of things.” (Matthew 24:3) Are we now living during the last days? Compare what the Bible foretold with the recent reports quoted below, and then judge for yourself.

    What the Bible foretold: global conflict—Luke 21:10; Revelation 6:4.

    What recent reports say: “War-related deaths in the 20th century were more than three times greater than in all previous centuries combined, back to the birth of Christ.”—Worldwatch Institute.

    What the Bible foretold: food shortages and disease—Luke 21:11; Revelation 6:5-8.

    What recent reports say: In 2004 an estimated 863 million people on earth were undernourished, 7 million more than in 2003.—United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization.
    Some one billion people live in slums; 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation; 1.1 billion people are without safe drinking water.—Worldwatch Institute.

    Malaria affects 500 million people; 40 million people live with HIV-AIDS; tuberculosis killed 1.6 million people in 2005.—World Health Organization.

    What the Bible foretold: the ruining of the earth—Revelation 11:18.
    What recent reports say: “Human activities have taken the planet to the edge of a massive wave of species extinctions.” “Nearly two thirds of the services provided by nature to humankind are found to be in decline worldwide.”—Millennium Ecosystem Assessment.
    “Human-made greenhouse gases have brought the Earth’s climate close to critical tipping points, with potentially dangerous consequences for the planet.”—NASA, Goddard Institute for Space Studies.

    What the Bible foretold: the good news of God’s Kingdom preached earth wide—Matthew 24:14; Revelation 14:6, 7.

    The Bible foretold that amid all the bad news, there would be reason for optimism. Jesus spoke of the “good news” of God’s Kingdom. What is God’s Kingdom? How is it linked to mankind’s hope for a better future? And how will God’s Kingdom affect you? Mathew Daniel 2:44, Mathew 6:33

    For anyone that does not have access to a bible here is a website which has many different translations and languages also http://www.biblize.com

  6. I’m glad I finaly made it into the website.My computer kept freezing on me and after hours I’d give up.I’ve almost been out of a job for a year and lost my unemployement in April.I like many have bipolar/depression and I’ve taken myself off my meds due to the cost.I have a abusive husband and I’m stuck at home.He works and we have insurance but we can only afford so many meds.Plus I have my 14 yr.old daughter here and my 20 yr.old son.My son hasn’t been able to find a job,so he’s been trying to get into the National Guards.We’ll find out Monday if their gona take waviers so he can take the test.It’s just so hard around here but I try to keep myself together for my kids.I was trying to get to Dr.Phils web site because I thought there might be other people like myself out there who might need a friend.Thanks to my husband I lost my car and my cell phone.He just started paying for my meds.He drinks on Friday and Sat,sometimes on Sunday.When he does he is just awful and I dread every weekend.He has the money and the last time I had my car I went to South Carolinia to see my parents.He gave me no money,my dad paid for the gas for me to get there.His full check was in the bank and my mom gave me the gas money to get home plus bought my meds.He paid no bills for 2 months but he was broke when I came home and he borrowed money from the cash checking place.Now because of that were 2 1/2 months behind on rent.We had to catch up on utilities and he blames this on me and the kids.I know my son should have a job,he trys but he’s planning to be gone.I know last month I wished I was dead.I could not understand why I was on this earth.In 2005 I went back to school and became a certified pharmacy technician.I did it while working 3rd shift part time and going to school full time.It was the hardest thing I ever did but I did it with a 3.9.Now I have nothing but a 7000,00 $ loan to show for it.I’ve lost everything I worked for and I kept a abusing husband so we wouldn’t be in the street.I think back and I didn’t do anything good for my kids,I should of left but I thought it was the right thing.I listen to Dr.Phil all the time and right now I know I’m stuck.I’m hoping that one day I find a job but so many people are looking.I don’t sleep at night so sometimes I cut my left over antidepressants in half.I pray just like a few of you other people every night just for the strength.Every day it seems like its something.Last week I found out our insurance switched to mail order and didn’t even notify us ahead of time.I went to fill mine and they said oh you’ve had your 3 refills.Now I have to have 200.$ to order by mail,so I don’t think I’ll be getting any of my pills on time this month.I know there are poeple with problems so much worse but when you live it I guess your pain feels bad enough.

  7. I guess just think of your friends,family and try to believe things will get better.

  8. Teresa Woolsey says:

    Subject: Broken by the Economy.

    Hello Dr. Phil, I am sitting here writing to you with my eyes filled with tears and my heart beating with fear of hopelessness. To summarize my problem: I am 13 years older than my Fiancé’ and we are an interracial couple that’s been together for 11years. Everything was great until the economy struck us hard. We are short selling our home that we have lived in for 6yrs because we can no longer afford it. In- addition we owed credit cards and loans over $50,000.00 that will take a lifetime to pay back. The worst has just happened my fiancé had a nervous break-down and was in a mental facility that we voluntarily signed up for, to later learned that he was now under Baker Act…..that would not allow him to leave after he realized that his roommates were Court ordered patients. He was in a state of depression so we reached out to this facility for help and they were clearly looking to make the money from his insurance and what they thought we had. They did not address his concerns, they accepted him into a place that was established for involuntary patient and yet they had a sister facility five minutes down the road that was more suited for his depressed state of mind. We learned two days later after fighting with the directors and nurses to release him back to us because he was getting worst from the living conditions that he was exposed to about the sister facility. Finally after 48hrs of being there he was released and now he has additional anxiety to what he had originally when he went there for help. Dr. Phil I am afraid that I am losing my loving co-pilot to a mental state of depression that started with stress from his job and losing our home; because of a place that could not put their greed aside to help a young 30 year old man get some sleep that he could not get at home because his mine was racing and overloading with a mountain of worries. He’s home now Dr. Phil and his parents and I are doing everything to help him but I am worried that this may not be enough for him and with such a bad experience with the mental facility we’re all afraid to think that could be a solution. Please help us Dr. Phil we are desperate and can’t afford the best that he deserve………..Please help us with anything that you can do for us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors; I am not very good in these areas. Thanks again
    Teresa Woolsey

  9. vince says:

    Teresa Woolsey i went through the same thing a few weeks back, the mental hospital i was in was just like jail but not as bad as being in a jail, funny thing i was not there on my own as-well, and after walking around for 3 days trying with all my heart to remember who i was i saw many patitents there in worse shape than i was in and a couple of them that the staff could not under-stand a word they were saying i could under stand plain as day, i found that to be rewarding in a way as it made me feel specian in some way to understand every word they spoke, i felt it was Gods will that i be there at the time i was in, i did find that not bucking on the staff or heads or the hospital worked to my favor tho, as i was able to do what i was there to do in a much better way this way, and that was to get better and better i did get in only one week i was on my way back home, i dont have a nickel of insurance and i recived a pile of bills totaling way over $10.000.00 and no way to pay them, my only hope was to go and apply for medicade, in a attempt to help me with these bills, but even if i cant get any assistance i am grateful i got the help i needed when i got it even if it wernt me asking with my own mouth, whats my point your probley thinking about now im sure,WELL YOU SEE if you stop trying to get out cause the going got rough im sure the rough can get going in a positave way, other words stop bucking the system that only makes them think he or she needs to remain there longer after all they do indeed know what there doing and im sure they dont just keep people there to stick it to the insurance companeys, after all there are guild lines they MUST GO BY, if it were me i would just sit back relax and enjoy the ride till it comes to a complete stop, life will only be much better that way i know it did for me already and trust me i hate taking meds for any reason,but i learned the hard way that i do indeed need what they perscribed to me to take when im suppose to take it no matter what my mind tells me i know better now, your wait will seem shorter if you stop letting him or her beg you to help get them out till its time for them to be released, if you are allowed visits go and reassure your loved one that your with them through thick and thin and that there life will be better when they STOP BUCKING that only pees the heads off and making them less willing to assist in any way you will find to favor yalls needs, I KNOW ITS NOT MY BUSSINESS but i just wanted to tell you my story and how mine became a success with out all the distress involved or STRESS. it do help i promice, WELL ATLEAST IT DID FOR ME, HELL I THOUGHT I WAS THE ANTI CHRIST FOR GODS SAKES, LOL BUT IM BACK HOME AND HAPPY AS A FROG ON A LILLY PAD I PROMICE. try to relax and let the stress goooooooooooooo.

  10. vince says:

    marion cushman try going to the links page on shakinnasty.com thers some relly good anti spy ware progame linked to that site that are free and easy to install and use, it sounds like you may have some spy ware in your system, any way it would be worth looking into, i use those progames myself, and have not had a problem scense i got them.

  11. Patrice says says:

    My husband has been missing ever since March 5th 2009. It happened after ha suffered a mental struggle of being torn between his mother’s hatred for me -because I am African American and not Italian and because I was not Catholic.

    He was abusive, which his mother encouraged and in the end he left everyone. He was last see at his mother’s house. He had left the children and I. My two beautiful children and I are saved and extremely spiritual and O.K. however, we need closure.

    Please help us. I believe him may have killed himself. He was so tortured. I wish he would have listened to the Holy Spirit from within. He prayed the prayer of salvation with me. I pray he is with the Lord.

    God bless you,

    P.S. I have written to you from twitter also.

  12. vince says:

    Patrice i would think you would pray ur hubby was just out of town instead of praying he was with the lord, sounds like his mother won the battle from what i read in your post, did you report him missing by chance? or maybe scense he was abussive to you maybe your better off with out him, hummm i did not look at it in that light till just now, any how i wish you and ur kids the best, hope it all works out for you.

  13. vince says:

    i look after my mom who is 77 years old and now has a pacemaker, i quit working when she went through cancer treatment and i have not worked a day scense other then to help a friend with the flea markets when he can go to sell stuff on week ends, i feel relly useless at times cause i have no income to help my mom out, all i can offer is house cleaning laundry yard work and cooking, i have became acustom to this life style as i have no needs of my own so being broke all the time does not bother me and i do not eat much just enough to stay alive, im a reformed drug addic of almost 40 years but im 52 going on 53 so i guess i can claim 12 almost 13 years of clean time in my life but it relly would not count cause i got that clean time b4 i became a addic but i try to look on the bright side of life, i just havent found it as of yet, my other family members tell me there glad im here to look after mom but that relly dosent make me feel better about my self cause i watch your shows about the moochers and often place my self in the same boat Dr Phil, i wish i knew what the differance was between a mooch and my self were maybe then i could find that bright side in life i seem to seek after, if mom died tomorrow i would be out on the streets and i know it with all my heart, i got 3 bad marriages behind me and never look for a new one, i think im better off alone as far as a wife goes, i do not date hell i cant afford to take my self out muce-less a woman, i guess what im trying to figure out is this, Dr Phil is there a bright side to my life? if so would you point me in the direction of that light at the end of this tunnel i seem to be living in, all i see is darkness and i do not even have a damn match to light to see whats in here i may run into, its a scarry place to be , the dark i refer too, i do love mom with all my heart Doc, you could say i love her more than i care about my self, i do let mom work with her flowers that she keeps around the yard but NO WEED PULLING AS ITS BAD FOR HER HEALTH and she cant lift 5 pounds after her pacemaker was installed, she’s not suppose to raise her left arm over her shoulder heighth now too so i got be watch her when shes trying to get stuff out of the higher kitchen cabinets, Dr Phil am i crazey? or maybe just confused on what a moocher relly is? it hurts to think im taking advantage of my mother sir, all i want to do is repay her for all the years she gave up her life to raise me as a child i know i put her through pure hell as a young teen too, i stoped using drugs for her doc it wernt for me only, i love drugs too much to stop just for me i also stoped for my son hes 20 now and i already missed out on all the stuff a dad should do with a small child cant earase all my bad disesions i made in life but i sure as hell can make sure i do not make the same one over and over again, funny thing Dr Phil life seems to be differnt now that im not using drugs or drinking booze, its kind of scarry in a way, i relly would love to get out of this tunnel all in one peice and not louse any one along the way, why when were using do we not see all this?or even think about this?

  14. vince says:

    ever play a game that makes you do quests? i have and they can be fun and at times give you a head-ache trying to figure out what to do next, this kind of reminds me of real-life too, i can look in any direction almost and find bad stuff to see or read or talk about, but atm im on a real life quest, i want to find good things to look at and talk about and hope some of my adventures rub off on me in a way i am able to even put them in words that only reflect good in others and yes even my-self, its so hard to do tho when i watch the news on tv, maybe i should start off by not watching the news, i know it will not make a situation go away but atleast it cant interfear in my attempt to find the good in life, hell i know its out there some where Dr Phil im just looking in all the wrong places this is one big reason i try to only watch your shows, all i ever see you do is try with all your heart to help others, thanks for giving that at a time when we mostly see bad in this world Dr Phil.

  15. Lisa says:

    I read the article by Bishop Jakes, and although it is absolutely, 100% on track, how do you do it when you are in the thrust of a very deep depression?

    I live in Michigan, where our economy is horrible. I am one of it’s “victims.” I lost the job I had for 11 years, where I made over $5000 a month, because of the lack of work. I also have a chronic pain problem which makes work difficult. Because I was with that employer so long, he made a ton of adjustments for me when I became sick, so I was ABLE to work there. I have worked in the same field since I was 16 – and I am now 42. I spend a ton of time every day looking for a job. I read the job descriptions and KNOW I cannot do them. I know my physical limitations. I send my resume anyway – but in this economy, nobody wants to hire experience – they want to hire “cheap.” The younger generation is getting all of the jobs, although they have no experience because they are “cheaper” to hire. If I go to work for someone, I am a liability because their health insurance will skyrocket. The insurance company last year paid over $38,000 just for my prescriptions.

    The state of Michigan gives a maximum of $680 every other week to the unemployed. That’s about $1300 a month. My house payment ALONE is $1500. My prescriptions, with insurance, are $250 a month – without insurance they would be over $2000 a month. The copays for my doctor and therapist (yes, I’m in therapy for my emotional issues) run me over $200. I applied for a bridge card, and they want to give me a whole $44 a month. I am 5 months behind in my house payment, and have had my gas shut off (I did get it turned back on).

    Being single, I don’t have the unemployment of TWO PEOPLE. On the show, you have see “couples” with financial problems who survive on one income PLUS one person’s unemployment. Or, if both are unemployed, they get $2600 a month from unemployment. I have to survive on half. I went from bringing home over $5000 a month, down to $1300.

    Being a chronic pain patient, I was already susceptible to depression. Now, I am so deeply depressed I cannot even function. I KNOW I need to do the things in Bishop Jake’s article, but when you are this depressed, you just don’t want to do anything…or you think “what’s the point.” We do work on this in therapy…but I’m so depressed I have a hard time doing things outside of session. I do nothing but sit at this computer all day, looking for a job, working on my online store that I set up to get a little extra income. The pain is in my HANDS and ARMS, so it’s hard for me work on the computer. I force myself to, and end up hurting for several days afterwards so badly that I can’t do anything at all. This post took me three days to write, and I copied and pasted it here.

    So when you are so deeply depressed that you can’t even do the things you know in your mind you need to do, how do you do what Bishop Jakes writes about? All I do is cry – all the time. I have completely shut my friends and family out. I don’t answer my phone. I don’t respond to emails. I just want to be left alone to wallow in my grief. It’s like I lost “myself.” I was always so proud of what I accomplished, and that’s what I was known for. Now, I can’t maintain it. And that part of me that made me “ME” is gone. It’s like I’m lost in a world that I don’t know anymore. I know you are going to say I have to force myself to do those things. But…I’ve tried. I’m not able to. I just CAN’T.

    I’m lost…

  16. Sandra says:

    continuation of Oct 2 post

    Where Can You Find Real Hope?
    YOUR watch has stopped and appears to be broken. When it comes to getting it fixed, you face a profusion of choices. Advertisements for watch repair abound, all of them making confident claims, some of them contradictory. But what if you find out that a neighbor of yours is the ingenious man who designed that particular watch years ago? What is more, you learn that he is willing to help you, free of charge. Your choice would seem clear, wouldn’t it?

    Now compare that watch to your own ability to hope. If you find that you are losing hope—as many are in these troubled times—where will you turn for help? Any number of people claim to be able to fix the problem, but the countless suggestions can be confusing and contradictory. So why not go to the One who designed mankind with the capacity for hope in the first place? The Bible says that “he is not far off from each one of us” and that he is more than willing to help.—Acts 17:27; 1 Peter 5:7.

    A Deeper Definition of HopeThe Bible’s concept of hope is broader and more profound than the one in common use among today’s doctors, scientists, and psychologists. The original-language words used in the Bible that are translated “hope” mean to wait eagerly and to expect good. Basically, hope is composed of two elements. It involves the desire for something good as well as the basis for believing that good will come. The hope offered in the Bible is not mere wishful thinking. It has a solid basis in fact and evidence.

    In this regard, hope is akin to faith, which must be based on evidence—not gullibility. (Hebrews 11:1) Still, the Bible distinguishes between faith and hope.—1 Corinthians 13:13.

    To illustrate: When you ask a dear friend for a favor, you may hope that he will help you out. Your hope is not without basis because you have faith in your friend—you know him well, and you have seen him act with kindness and generosity in the past. Your faith and your hope are closely related, even interdependent, but they are distinct. How can you have such hope in God?

    The Basis for Hope
    God is the source of true hope. In Bible times Jehovah was called “the hope of Israel.” (Jeremiah 14:8) Any reliable hope that his people had came from him; thus, he was their hope. Such hope did not amount to mere wishing. God gave them a solid basis for hope. In dealing with them over the centuries, he built up a record of promises made and promises kept. Their leader Joshua said to Israel: “You well know . . . that not one word out of all the good words that your God has spoken to you has failed.”—Joshua 23:14.

    Thousands of years later, that record still stands. The Bible is full of God’s remarkable promises as well as the accurate historical record of their fulfillment. His prophetic promises are so reliable that they are sometimes recorded as if they were already fulfilled at the time they were made.

    That is why we may speak of the Bible as the book of hope. As you study the record of God’s dealings with humans, your reasons for putting your hope in him will only grow stronger. The apostle Paul wrote: “All the things that were written aforetime were written for our instruction, that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope.”—Romans 15:4


  17. Linda says:

    i have no joy in my life; only problems. there is no hope for me. i’m so stuck and i don’t know how much more i can take. i can’t imagine living the rest of my life as it is now.

  18. Kathy says:

    My emotional rut can’t be helped until I can get out of this body I’m in that is making life so hard. I know you have already done allot of shows on weight loss, but what about the people with health problems that it makes hard to just eat rigtht and exercise to lose it. I really can’t stand being so stressed out all the time over trying to do the right thing and being blocked due to health problems. I live in Flower Mound, Texas not too far from Dallas. I did have a lapband in back in 2006 and it did help allot. Then last year I caught strep pneumonia on top of the COPD I have and they had to empty the saline out for the NG tube. That was from March to June 2008. Then my Barriatric doctor moved from Dallas to Denton and it made it somewhat hard to find him. To make a long story short for now, I can’t drive and my husband that’s 9 years older is also disabled from Viet Nam. When he feels bad I have no one to take me to doctors which is a problem in itself. My depression has gotten worse but I handle it best I can. I must get this weight off somehow, but how? Please help me with some suggestions or maybe you know of someone here that can. Good luck in all you do and God Bless.

  19. Sandra says:


    If you’ve read any of my posts and find them to be comforting, email me and I will provide you with information in which someone will come to your home free of charge and help you to gain knowledge of the only hope that has lasting value.

    email sandrabeaumont40@hotmail.com

  20. Angela says:

    I am in am emotional rut that has taken me over. I fight my weight constantly, feel unappreciated and disrespected by my family. I am constantly tired and feel hopeless. I would love to find a way to control all of these issues!! My weight is the worse of them all. If my weight could get under control, I would feel so much better about life and myself.

    Any ideas or advice?????

  21. vince says:

    you should try to love yourself for who and what you are first then try to tackel your problems one at the time, that seems to work for me any how, im no expert but i thought maybe this would not hurt none,dont let what others think about you guide your life!

  22. Carley says:

    What happens when you’ve spent your whole life screaming out for help and no one stops to help? What do you do when the only one or two people that did stop, didn’t want to help but were just nosy about your situation? How do I get the help that I’ve been screaming for all my life and no one seems to see me or hear me?

  23. Nanette says:

    I once wrote to Dr. Phil about being in a rut. It has nothing to do with my weight or my looks. I don’t even care about those things. I still feel like I’m in a rut. I try very hard to get out. My problem is I just don’t have control over how I feel about myself. I am so tired of faking being happy. Why this feeling, who knows? Everything in my life has gone so wrong. Everything I’ve done has gotten me nowhere. Why is it that with so many people I know, whenever I need someone (just to talk), there is no one to be found? Lost, lonely, confused, discouraged and disgusted.

  24. megan says:

    It’s not me who is in an emotional rut – it’s my brother. I suppose he falls into the ‘moocher’ category, but I doubt he see’s it that way, who knows. He’s ahd his ups and downs, in and out of trouble… I really truly believed that if he was around people who truly loved him and had faith in him, he would see how good he could be – so he came to live with my family last year. At first, he was doing so well… the Matt I used to know was back, the joy in his heart was finally shining through the blackness. Then, he hit a bump or two and let his depression drag him right through the mud again. Now, he is in school still, but hasn’t worked in almost a year, doesn’t take any responsibility for anything, helps out when he wants something and I have had kids come to my door because he was involved with drug deals. When I cut him off and told him not to disrespect me or my home, he cursed me out and left with his friend, who he isn’t supposed to be hanging around with (part of the house rules).
    As angry and fed up as I am, I can’t help but to want to just hug him and make it all better for him, but I know there’s not much I can do with out him wanting it.
    I know him, I know his heart, and it seems like he is just trying to see how far he can push me before I kick him out – but I can’t seem to do it, I worry about him too much. I’ve seen how his life spiraled out of controll when my parents threw him out, he turned to living on the streets and selling crack and hustling in west palm beach.
    My heart breaks every day and I can’t focus on my kids and home and I’m gaining weight from the stress and my asthma is flairing up like crazy from the constant crying and emotional drainage.
    I don’t know what to do for him, how to make him see what he’s doing and that he’s ruining his life. He thinks that drugs and alcohol and petty drug deals are normal! but that’s how we were raised, so I understand why he sees it that way. It’s like watching a car accident… I screaming for him to turn the wheel and skid to a stop, but he keeps going, full speed, right for the telephone pole.
    There’s got to be some way to save him from himself. he’s only 22, it can’t be too late, but I don’t knwo what to do. We need help. I can’t live with things the way tehy are with him,. it’s not healthy, but I can’t turn my back on him – everyone else in his life has done that and I can’t be the reason for his pain, he deserves love.
    Please help.

  25. Claire Vosburgh says:

    Ask for help. Yes, I have screamed for help, but no one will listen! NO ONE! I was married twice, then finally met my soulmate. We were quite happy for about 7 years, then he became disabled with spinal cord and nerve damage in 2001. It has been horrible ever since. I do love him, and will stay with him, and help him forever. But it is just one nightmare after another. I keep thinking, well, it cant get any worse, and then it does. Again and again and again it happens. No matter what I do. I do believe in karma and I am helpful, and friendly to my fellow man thinking it will come back to me. The last couple of years I am really starting to become bitter becuase instead of getting better, it just gets worse. WHY? Mitch says to ask for help. But there is NO ONE to help me. Dr. Phil, I am so tired. I am so tired of fighting for my life. Tired of trying and failing. People will say, ‘Oh, but dont give up!’….Well, at some point there is just nothing left to fight with. I cannot even think straight anymore, my mind is so consumed with worry, and sadness. At least before my fiance would always smile and tell me everything would be ok. But he is not the same person I met. He is just a bundle of pain and illness and worry. We used to have the best of times just looking at the sunset or watching some dumb show on TV. He would ALWAYS make me laugh and feel better about anything. Not anymore. He says there is nothing to live for. I think he is right, even though I tell him different. I am just tired of trying. For nothing. On and on and on and on, i get nothing but crap handed to me, when I give everything I can to anyone. Why bother if there is no hope of it ever getting better? I mean really, can anyone tell me why to bother anymore??

  26. Sandra says:

    Claire. I hope this helps

    Caregiving—Meeting the Challenge
    How to Deal With Feelings
    ARE you currently caring for a seriously ill loved one? If so, you may be experiencing some confusing and frightening emotions. What can you do? Consider the feelings that some caregivers struggle with and the practical suggestions that have helped them cope.

    Occasionally, the behavior of a person who is ill may embarrass you in front of others. But explaining the nature of your loved one’s illness to friends and neighbors may help them to understand and may also move them to show “fellow feeling” and patience. If possible, talk to other families who are in a situation similar to yours. You may feel less embarrassed as you exchange experiences. Sue explains what helped her: “I felt such pity for my father—it eclipsed any feelings of embarrassment. And his sense of humor also helped.” Yes, a sense of humor—on the part of the patient and those who care for him—is a marvelous tool to ease jangled nerves.—

    Ignorance about the disease can be terribly frightening. If possible, seek professional advice on what to expect as the illness progresses. Learn how to provide care under those circumstances. For Elsa, one of the most important factors in coping with her fear was talking with other caregivers and the hospice nurses about what to expect as the patient’s condition deteriorated. Jeanny advises: “Confront and control your fears. Fear of what might happen is often worse than the reality.” Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum recommends that whatever causes them, your fears should “be talked about as they arise.

    It is not easy to deal with grief, particularly in the caregiving situation. You may grieve over the loss of companionship, especially if your sick loved one can no longer talk, understand clearly, or recognize you. Such feelings may not be readily understood by others. Talking about your grief to an understanding friend who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring much-needed relief.—

    Anger and Frustration. These are normal responses to caring for a seriously ill person whose behavior may be difficult at times. Realize that it is often the disease, not the patient, that is responsible for distressing behavior. Lucy recalls: “When I really got angry, I would end up in tears. Then I would try to remind myself of the patient’s condition and illness. I knew that the patient needed my help. That would help me carry on.

    To calm your fears,
    find out as much as you can
    about the illness

    Feelings of guilt are common among caregivers. Be assured, though, that you are performing an essential but very difficult job. Accept the fact that you will not always react perfectly at all times. Do not allow feelings of guilt to prevent you from taking positive action now. When you feel upset about something you have said or done, you will very likely find that saying “I’m sorry” will make you and your patient feel better. One man who cared for a sick relative advised: “Do the best you can under the circumstances.”

    Talking to an understanding friend
    can bring much relief

    Depression is very common—and understandable—in families coping with serious illness. A caregiver who suffers from depression explains what helped her: “Many would thank us for providing care. Just a few words of encouragement can give you a boost to carry on when you are very tired or depressed.Others may not always sense your need for encouragement. So, at times, you may first have to openly express the “anxious care” in your heart in order to receive “the good word” of encouragement from others. If feelings of depression persist or become more severe, though, it may be advisable to consult a doctor.

    You may feel helpless in the face of a debilitating illness. Accept the reality of your situation. Acknowledge your limitations—the patient’s health is not yours to control, but you can provide compassionate care. Don’t expect perfection of yourself, your patient, or your supporters. A balanced approach not only eases feelings of helplessness but also eases the work load. Wisely, many who have cared for a loved one advise: Learn to face one day at a time.

  27. vince says:

    Claire ya just cant stop living and if all life hands you is crap do as i try to do and make a crap sandwitch and enjoy the day for just beginning, and you might want to go get some help with depression as i had to do also, my happy pills do make me enjoy the crap i cause my self, maybe they could help you with all you are having to live through, it is better than just sitting and being depressed with life its-self.

  28. AJ says:

    Thanks that was a phenomenal article. I believe God our hands sometimes, and sometimes the towline is from somebody you didn’t expect, too.

  29. dksp says:

    This is not a response to anyone’s blog specifically.
    I would like the Bishop’s advice on how to handle my mother-in-law and father-in-law. They are comitted to staying up late when they go to church but the will not go to any of my children’s sports events, in fact they say that our children should quit sports. My children are 14 and 16 and have participated in one sport or another since the have been about 6 years old and I can litteraly on one hand how many times they have been to one of their games. To me this is not very Christianlike. I thought Christian people were supposed to take time for their family and spend time with them as well as going to Church. My children are old enough to know now what is going on but they are still children so how do I explain to them everything because they feel that because their grandparents go out of state to see their other grandchildren that they don’t mean that much to them. What do I do?

  30. Marianna says:

    Dr. Phil….I know about emotional ruts very well. I feel like at the bottom of the pit emotionally from a live in a mental/financially abusive relationship. I have been recovering from surgery and the disability payments are squat, my partner…he hsn’t helped me since I’ve exhausted my money for physical therapy, clothing etc. He’s made sure that I’ve stayed his maid though. i have a place that I could go to get away from him IF it were repaired. I need help learning how to cope with this. I had to stop going to the counselor that I was seeing because I can’t pay the co-pay. My partner is a dentist and he spends his money on himself lavishly, and tells me that he doesn’t need to help me, etc. Wouldn’t even get me a birthday gift, he bought himself expensive things on Ebay. I know that he doesn’t HAVE to help me, but we have been together 5 years and this past year he has regressed and became more and more selfish, and demanding. I will be going back to work in another month or so, but I won’t be able to pick myself up for quite a while (abusive work environment too) I’m trying to get my own business going. I’m a canine nutritionist, I like to say consultant. I graduated with honors in September. There is no work in the veterinary industry at least where I live. I just started building a website, and i have a Facebook page called Hungry Hound. I just keep praying for a miracle that I can suddenly be free of the pain, but not on the streets with my 8 doggies. Pleas help me with some advice?

  31. Krstin says:

    DrPhil~ I got to talk with your Intern today. She talked to me and it really helped. She was caring had questions to ask me and was really listening a nd wants to help. I told her more in detail about my story and I Hope you would like to hear more too. SHe said if she could run up to you and tell you my story she would. Which as odd as it sounds did help.

    I am in trouble! I am going to be a single mother of 2 little kids, a fulltime student, and what I taught was a good wife. He is walking out on us, he doesnt want to be a husband, father, or provider anymore. My daughter needs winter clothes. He wont get. He is leaving with all the money and soon he will going to jail from another DUI. I need help with getting to Chicago to live near my sister. Please help. Thanks your fan and friend Kristin

  32. DeLores Stone says:

    I already typed it!!!

  33. DeLores Stone says:

    I’ve tried and tried to get through but I can’t seem to put the right code in, etc., etc. Iwish someone would help me…

  34. Sandra says:

    5 Reasons why we can Trust the Bible is the Word of God

    1. Historical Soundness
    It would be hard to trust a book that is found to contain inaccuracies. Imagine reading a modern history book that dated the second world war to the 1800’s or that called the president of the United States a king. Would such inaccuracies not raise questions in your mind about the overall reliability of the book?

    NO ONE has ever successfully challenged the historical accuracy of the Bible. It refers to real people and real events.

    Bible critics questioned the existence of Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor of Judea who handed Jesus over to be impaled. (Matthew 27:1-26) Evidence that Pilate was once ruler of Judea is etched on a stone discovered at the Mediterranean seaport city of Caesarea in 1961.

    Before 1993, there was no proof outside the Bible to support the historicity of David, the brave young shepherd who later became king of Israel. That year, however, archaeologists uncovered in northern Israel a basalt stone, dated to the ninth century B.C.E., that experts say bears the words “House of David” and “king of Israel.”

    Until recently, many scholars doubted the accuracy of the Bible’s account of the nation of Edom battling with Israel in the time of David. (2 Samuel 8:13, 14) Edom, they argued, was a simple pastoral society at the time and did not become sufficiently organized or have the might to threaten Israel until much later. However, recent excavations indicate that “Edom was a complex society centuries earlier [than previously thought], as reflected in the Bible,” states an article in the journal Biblical Archaeology Review.

    Proper titles.
    There were many rulers on the world stage during the 16 centuries that the Bible was being written. When the Bible refers to a ruler, it always uses the proper title. For example, it correctly refers to Herod Antipas as “district ruler” and Gallio as “proconsul.” (Luke 3:1; Acts 18:12) Ezra 5:6 refers to Tattenai, the governor of the Persian province “beyond the River,” the Euphrates River. A coin produced in the fourth century B.C.E. contains a similar description, identifying the Persian governor Mazaeus as ruler of the province “Beyond the River.”

    Accuracy in seemingly minor details is no small matter. If we can trust the Bible writers in even small details, should that not bolster our confidence in the other things they wrote?

  35. Sandra says:

    2. Candor and Honesty

    Honesty provides the foundation for trust. A man who has a reputation for honesty may win your trust, but if he lies to you even once, he may lose it.

    THE Bible writers were honest men who wrote with openness of heart. Their candor gives their writing the clear ring of truth.

    Mistakes and shortcomings. The Bible writers openly admitted their own failures and weaknesses. Moses told of a mistake he made that cost him dearly. (Numbers 20:7-13) Asaph explained that for a time he found himself envying the prosperous life of the wicked. (Psalm 73:1-14) Jonah told of his disobedience and the bad attitude he initially had when God showed mercy to repentant sinners. (Jonah 1:1-3; 3:10; 4:1-3) Matthew freely related that he had abandoned Jesus on the night of Jesus’ arrest.—Matthew 26:56.

    Bible writers, such as Jonah, recorded their own mistakes

    The writers of the Hebrew Scriptures laid bare the repeated grumbling and rebellion of their own people. (2 Chronicles 36:15, 16) The writers spared no one, not even the rulers of their nation. (Ezekiel 34:1-10) With similar candor, the letters of the apostles reported the serious problems experienced by individual Christians, including responsible ones, as well as by some congregations in the first century C.E.—1 Corinthians 1:10-13; 2 Timothy 2:16-18; 4:10.

    Unflattering truth. The Bible writers did not try to gloss over what some might have viewed as embarrassing truth. The first-century Christians frankly acknowledged that they were not admired by the world around them but were looked upon as foolish and ignoble. (1 Corinthians 1:26-29) The writers noted that Jesus’ apostles were seen as “unlettered and ordinary.”—Acts 4:13.

    The Gospel writers did not color the facts in order to cast Jesus in a more favorable light. Rather, they reported honestly that he was born under humble circumstances into a working-class family, that he did not study at the prestigious schools of his day, and that the majority of his listeners rejected his message.—Matthew 27:25; Luke 2:4-7; John 7:15.

    Clearly, the Bible gives ample evidence that it is the product of honest writers. Does their honesty win your trust?

  36. Sandra says:

    3. Internal Harmony
    Imagine asking 40 men from varied backgrounds to write a book, each writing a section. The writers live in a number of lands and do not all know one another. Some do not know what the others have written. Would you expect a book thus produced to be harmonious?

    THE Bible is such a book. Written under even more unusual conditions than those described above, its internal harmony is nothing less than profound.

    Unique circumstances. The Bible was written over a span of some 1,600 years, from 1513 B.C.E. to about 98 C.E. Many of the approximately 40 writers thus lived centuries apart. Their occupations were varied. Some were fishermen, others were shepherds or kings, and one was a physician.

    A harmonious message. The Bible penmen developed one central theme: the vindication of God’s right to rule mankind and the fulfillment of his purpose by means of his heavenly Kingdom, a world government. That theme is introduced in Genesis, expanded on in the books that follow, and brought to a climax in Revelation.

    Agreement on details. The Bible writers agreed on even minute details, but often this harmony was clearly unintentional. Note an example. The Bible writer John tells us that when a large crowd came to hear Jesus, Jesus specifically asked Philip where to buy some loaves to feed the people. (John 6:1-5) In a parallel account, Luke says that this took place near the city of Bethsaida. Earlier in his book, John happened to have said that Philip was from Bethsaida. (Luke 9:10; John 1:44) So Jesus naturally addressed his question to one of the men who had lived nearby. The details agree—but with an obvious lack of intent to make them harmonious.

    Reasonable differences. There are some differences between certain accounts, but should we not expect this? Suppose a group of people witnessed a crime. If each one mentioned the same details using the same words, would you not suspect collusion? Reasonably, the testimony of each would vary somewhat according to his particular angle of view. So it was with the Bible writers.

    Was Jesus’ garment purple or scarlet?

    Consider an example. Did Jesus wear a purple garment on the day of his death, as Mark and John report? (Mark 15:17; John 19:2) Or was it scarlet, as Matthew says? (Matthew 27:28) Really, both can be correct. Purple has components of red in it. Depending on the observer’s angle of view, light reflection and background could have subdued certain hues, giving different casts to the garment.

    The harmony of the Bible writers, including their unintentional consistency, further stamps their writings as trustworthy.

  37. Sandra says:

    4. Scientific Accuracy
    Science has made great strides in modern times. As a result, old theories have given way to new ones. What was once accepted as fact may now be seen as myth. Science textbooks often need revision.

    THE Bible is not a science textbook. Yet, when it comes to scientific matters, the Bible is noteworthy not only for what it says but also for what it does not say.

    Free of unscientific views. Many mistaken beliefs gained wide acceptance in ancient times. Views about the earth ranged from the idea that it was flat to the notion that tangible substances or objects held it aloft. Long before science learned about the spread and prevention of disease, physicians employed some practices that were ineffective at best, lethal at worst. But not once in its more than 1,100 chapters does the Bible endorse any unscientific views or harmful practices.

    Far ahead of its time, the Bible correctly stated that the earth is circular and hangs “upon nothing”
    Scientifically sound statements. Some 3,500 years ago, the Bible stated that the earth is hanging “upon nothing.” (Job 26:7) In the eighth century B.C.E., Isaiah clearly referred to “the circle [or, sphere] of the earth.” (Isaiah 40:22) A spherical earth held in empty space without any visible or physical means of support—does not that description sound remarkably modern?

    Written about 1500 B.C.E., the Mosaic Law (found in the first five books of the Bible) contained sound laws regarding quarantining of the sick, treatment of dead bodies, and disposal of waste.—Leviticus 13:1-5; Numbers 19:1-13; Deuteronomy 23:13, 14.

    Partly as a result of turning powerful telescopes toward the heavens, scientists have concluded that the universe had a sudden “birth.” Not all scientists like the implications of this explanation. One professor noted: “A universe that began seems to demand a first cause; for who could imagine such an effect without a sufficient cause?” Yet, long before telescopes, the very first verse of the Bible plainly stated: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”—Genesis 1:1.

    Even though it is an ancient book and touches on many subjects, the Bible contains no scientific inaccuracies. Does not such a book merit, at the very least, our consideration?

  38. Sandra says:

    5. Fulfilled Prophecy
    Imagine a weather forecaster who has a long record of being right—every time. If he predicted rain, would you carry an umbrella?

    THE Bible is filled with predictions, or prophecies. Its record, as documented by history, is clear. Bible prophecy is always right.

    Distinguishing features. Bible prophecies are often specific and have been fulfilled down to the smallest of details. They usually involve matters of great importance and predict the opposite of what those living at the time of the writing might have been expecting.

    The Bible accurately foretold that a leader named Cyrus would conquer mighty Babylon

    An outstanding example. Strategically built astride the Euphrates River, ancient Babylon has been called “the political, religious, and cultural centre of the ancient Orient.” About 732 B.C.E., the prophet Isaiah penned an ominous prophecy—Babylon would fall. Isaiah provided specifics: A leader named “Cyrus” would be the conqueror, the protective waters of the Euphrates would “dry up,” and the city’s gates would “not be shut.” (Isaiah 44:27–45:3) Some 200 years later, on October 5, 539 B.C.E., the prophecy was fulfilled in all its details. Greek historian Herodotus (fifth century B.C.E.) confirmed the manner of Babylon’s fall.

    A bold detail. Isaiah made a further startling prediction regarding Babylon: “She will never be inhabited.” (Isaiah 13:19, 20) To predict permanent desolation for a sprawling city occupying a strategic location was bold indeed. You would normally expect that such a city would be rebuilt if ruined. Although Babylon lingered on for a while after its conquest, Isaiah’s words eventually came true. Today the site of ancient Babylon “is flat, hot, deserted and dusty,” reports Smithsonian magazine.

    It is awesome to contemplate the magnitude of Isaiah’s prophecy. What he foretold would be the equivalent of predicting the exact manner in which a modern city, such as New York or London, would be destroyed 200 years from now and then emphatically stating that it would never again be inhabited. Of course, most remarkable is the fact that Isaiah’s prophecy came true!%%

    In this series of articles, we have considered some of the evidence that has convinced millions of people that the Bible is trustworthy. They therefore look to it as a reliable guide to direct their steps. Why not learn more about the Bible so that you can decide for yourself whether you too can trust it?

  39. MaggieLou says:

    Your words are a blessing tonight, as I face the unthinkable in our family. I needed a towline.

  40. LICIA LANAS says:

    i wrote a book called- listen to the music-and let the music take your blues away…

    I, myself really think Music was what helped me through my life. I have always felt like, no one wanted to listen to me or even talk too me, but especially listen too me.

    Well my dad left us for some reason,when i was 10 and my mom was either drinking her beer or going to college every night,while my sister lived her teen years, so I had no one around me to talk too. The only thing I had around me was music, which was talking too me.

    Then as times were getting harder to deal with like the death of my mom, being diagnosed with MS,other people in my family going into the hospital, my job kicking me too the curb, my soul was still able to hang onto the music by the Allman Brothers and my “soul keeper,” Gregg Allman, Johnny and Donny Van Zant and many more bands, who were holding my soul in God’s hands. I do believe music is a gift from God and i thank him.


  41. You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write….

    The world hopes for much more passionate writers like you who aren?ˉt scared to say how they believe. Always go best after your heart….

  42. Frank says:

    Hello Dr. Phil,
    I’m a young African male of 40 and have been married for 8 years and running though I’ve been dating my wife since 1998. I would need your help as an expert she would believe in her recommendations.
    Our intimate life is becoming a great concern for me because she only gets excited to have me after her period or when I come back home from my various business trips. I try to cut most of my trips so that I can spend time with the family and our three amazing boys (6+;5;2+).
    I have tried the following, oral sex, various styles, venue and positioning, verbal courting, shopping – some extravagantly, winning out and dinning for food, contemplated a third female partner since it is said against my believe that every woman has a bit of lesbianism in her. I have also created a sense of comfort for us to discuss these concerns in a healthy manner but I seem to become more clueless as to what turns my wife on. To worsen my willingness to help her improve, I tolerated having her date a guy she worked with before the year of our marriage but it hasn’t improved.
    I don’t want to resort to dating other women while married though the temptation is there for an educated, hard working company executive like myself. I love my wife, my family and my marriage and will like to make it better for I am convinced beyond reasonable doubt it is where I am my best.
    One strange challenge is that she has always been like this, I kept believing she was going to get better with time and probably after we got married and as we age through it, it has remained stagnant and probably taken a few nose dives. I love passionate adventurous intimacy when my partner is having a great time and I know this because I’ve at some point in my life been with other females and understand how I am wired sexually. I am also convinced that the stress of raising a family and nurturing the kids and her husband is not the reason for our concern though it may contribute but my conclusion is that, since a sexual turn-on ignites with end of her period or my absence from home then, family and the kids may not be sufficient excuse because I have a super woman and mother for a wife.
    She’s never had a proper wedding nor honeymoon, met me when I’d recently lost my father while in my final year in medical school, suffered with me when after five years of tele dating, she was able to join me here in the US, gave up her career to support me achieve my dreams of providing for our young family all the great things we weren’t privileged to have as kids. I have also dated other females prior to my marriage and while we were dating – there isn’t another woman better understanding and supportive like my wife, I would like you to please help me identify the problem, the way forward and how best to give my wife, the wedding of her dreams and how she can get more sexually intone with me so that I don’t loose my sexual urge and fantasies or my marriage. I only want to feel more wanted by her sexually. Strangely, she enjoys it well when I’m able to bulldoze my way into her I DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT PROCESS. If other women still desire me though I have not caved in yet, I believe I can help better fulfill my wife by cutting down the I DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT PROCESS
    If it will serve the greater cause, I’like not an anonymous assistance on this problem which is now a project. I will not want to appear on the show which happen to be one of my favorites along with CSI Miami.
    I am ready to make changes where needed or where I’m faulted and to improve my efforts where needed.

  43. Lynne says:

    i agree with all the steps that must be taken to get out of a RUT. Now I need help with my son who has been in a rut and isn’t strong enough to pull himself out. He has been diagnosed w/Para.shiz & severe depression he has not come out of his house for some time. I believe he needs intense rehab & don’t believe we should wait until he reaches his “last straw” he’ll be dead-I can’t afford to send him to a good place to get help he is 48 yrs old and has lost everything, including hope, faith & belief in self. Can anyone help this mother & her son in Philadelphia, Pa?

  44. Judith Soyster says:

    Bishop T. D. Jakes
    I have been involed with my church for many years, serving on the council almost without a break. What happens when one witnesses Pastor abuse and
    no one stands up for the pastor? I am saying the pastor was abused and abused
    and abused again. Now the leaders of the church have taken away his right to
    minister. This is like taking his breath away. He never deserved this injustice.
    Have you witnessed similiar injustices? I would like to communicate to you what
    happened, please respond. Peace

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