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September 25th, 2009 by Dr. Phil

Tweet Talk

TwitterHey, all you Twitter friends, I want you to know that I get a real kick out of corresponding with you. I admit, I did roll my eyes when my staff told me Twitter was the way to go, because I always joke that I’m technologically challenged.  But they were right. I enjoy communicating with everyone and hearing what you’re thinking about in your lives and families. 

I hope you get a better sense of who I am and what I’m doing. I feel like I have a true community of not just “followers,” but friends. 

I do write my own tweets and enjoy reading yours.  I know it is for fun so I try to keep it light yet responsive.  If somebody is using foul language like a kid learning to cuss, I block that person instantly and hope you do too. 

I appreciate each of you for reaching out to me to tell me about your life, making suggestions for show topics and providing feedback about the things we’re doing. The response is phenomenal. And, I will continue to reach back out to you, but I do feel I also need to share a word of caution, in the same way that I have to with guests on the Dr. Phil  show:  We don’t do eight-minute cures on the show and I can’t do 140 character fixes on Twitter!  I’m not perfect about it but I really try to read every Tweet, so know that your stories do not fall on deaf ears. I am simply not able to respond to every “Twiticen,” so if you have a story to tell, we really want to hear it.  If it takes more room than Twitter allows you can go to the Dr. Phil Web site. DrPhil.com has a community board where you can share your thoughts and find support from other members who may be having similar feelings or problems. There is also a section where you can submit your thoughts to show producers, who are always busy planning to deal with the next round of topics.  And, there’s also an advice section that offers solution-oriented techniques from myself as well as experts who have been on the show.  

And if you’re feeling like you need to talk to someone, in person and right now, remember you can call your local emergency number or the mental health crisis hotline in your area. DrPhil.com also has an extensive database of nearly 500 mental health professionals around the country who specialize in every disorder from addictions to post-traumatic stress. And, you can also find a list of very capable treatment programs that we’ve featured on our show.

Now don’t be mistaken. I want to continue to hear from all you about what’s going on in your life. But what I don’t want is anyone falling through the cracks, and the sheer volume of regular mail and e-mail I receive is staggering. Because as much fun as it is, I think those of you with a lot on your mind and who are dealing with serious issues deserve something more personal than a Tweet.  So see you on Twitter, the show Web site and the blog!

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144 Responses to “Tweet Talk”

  1. I just had my first attempt at a comment misfired out into the universe, for having failed to check off my agreement to the “terms of use.” It turns out that this was a fortuitous misfiring, because I needed more time to think before pecking away at this keyboard again.

    I’m smiling because those wasted ten minutes or so actually work well to illustrate my main point: instantaneous communication, whether it is trivial or earth-shattering in nature, has a good many drawbacks.

    Chief among them is the likelihood that we will be caught telling the truth.

    No, that is neither a typo nor a Freudian slip. You probably would be put back at ease if I had tossed in an ingratiating “LOL” or a smiling emoticon.

    But, lately, I have seen a rise in communication, mostly in the form of tweets, that has transmitted nothing but the worst of “us” (“us,”since I have been the author of a few). And, yes, I daresay those communications were, for the most part, very truthful.

    But it’s been the truth of a flash in time, not the truth that we might have come to were we able to access our higher faculties and heart. *That* truth usually doesn’t fit in a tweet. Think about it:

    We use adverbs to modify our more trenchant verbs, to take the edge off and to telegraph our intentions. We toss in prepositional phrases to explain stuff like tone. My words, for example, might be more kindly expressed were I not tweeting you from the middle lane of a rush hour traffic jam.

    Given the time and the space, we usually amend our words – either we put our internal editor to work to refine the mess of verbiage that the ego wants to blurt out, or we have the good grace to apologize for having failed to express the larger truths that honestly do represent us more faithfully.

    Twitter affords neither adequate time nor adequate space.

    What it does afford in great abundance is illusion.

    I’ve been pretty shocked at some of the tweets coming from folks who present themselves as Dr, Phil’s “biggest fans.” Why in the world would a person *tweet* about his problems, declaring a “life and death situation”? Has the belief in Santa Claus somehow transferred to illusionary faith in celebrity’s power to grant wishes and remedy circumstances?

    So I am really glad to read Dr. Phil’s latest blog entry. I don’t “do” many Dr. Philisms, yet there are two that, recently, keep coming to my overtaxed mind: one is “What were you THINKING?” and the other, “I don’t ask you to substitute my judgment for your own…” One is a good expression of my surprise at the kind of requests people make of him – blithely, without a hint of self-consciousness. But I think it is his reminder that we not subjugate the value of our own minds and experiences that really speaks to me.

  2. Robin Strand says:

    Hi Dr Phil, I just loved your show. I waited for a long time to find a man who met my “important” features. I have dated several men who just weren’t the right fit, and then I met my husband from the internet. It was like magic- we even went to Good Friday service on our first date! We married last June and now are expecting twins in March next year! I am 39 and my husband is 44. Keep praying for God has a plan for everybody. Thank you for such a meaningful show!

  3. leona abrams says:

    Hi Dr. Phil:

    Been watching your show for years and adore it. However, I am a 68 year old who
    is wondering why you do not do shows for this age group. We all have issues
    and perhaps you can help. Retired, Single Lonely, Still looking for a mate.

    I wrote to you on two other occasions years ago but never got a reply.

    Love to hear from you. Leona

  4. Stacy says:

    Saw your show today and thought it was fabulous. There was a man on who really captured my attention. Stated he was in mid forties, intelligent, very much looking to settle down…any interest in making an intro for a devoted fan? I am an attractive, professional who is 37 and happy to send pics. Many thanks…

  5. Judy says:

    Dr. Phil, I hope you continue to urge the woman who was so intent on marrying and having children with the man who has emotional problems to reconsider. I am living testament to the fact that it will be a struggle, and not only for her. If she brings children into the relationship, she will be strapping them with a burden from the start. I married a man while I was very young, and had 4 children with him because I thought I should marry him-I was pregnant with his child and thought that it was the right thing to do. When I had been married ten years, he was hospitalized for the first time due to his mental health issues, and I tried to stay with him and “help” him for another ten years. He pretended to make attempts to get help, started therapy with me 3 times before I told him that for me to attempt therapy again, he had to to alone first, (this never happened). He tortured us mentally, my children had to be the parents to him half of the time, and had to walk on eggshells not to “upset” him. Our lives were chaos, and I was miserable, and spent much energy on trying to sheild the kids from his illness. I am now divorced, have a great relationship with someone who cares for me mentally and physically, and who I am thankful for every day. He is kind to my children, and shares my house, and I hope he gives my kids a new perspective on what a relationship is all about. Please tell her not to burden her kids with someone who cannot care and be selfless at times, as that is what is sometimes required of good parents. If he is terrible in a crisis now, he will always be that way. Babies do not make relationships better. They are beautiful, but they are a huge responsibility for someone who already has issues to deal with. She will be worse than alone.

  6. kathi burns says:

    Dr. Phil,
    I have been in counseling for many years. I have 3 therapists at the moment…one for me and the boys…one from 15 years ago that has moved away but keeps in touch and the other for my meds and my second husband. I am 43 and the story of my life could be a book. (or a sit-com as my friends tell me.) I have serious issues as a single mom..money.. three teenage boys…an ex-husband….foreclosure on my home and let me not forget to mention my second husband. I saw your show today (10/2/09) and could not believe some of the comments you made about about sociopath disorders. do you know that NO ONE (except me and you ) has any idea what a narcissistic disorder is? Please Please do a show to let people know that when they are in a relationship with these people, it is a living hell. Only one of the therapists could tell me that my second husband has these issues that will NEVER get better. NO meds or counseling will ever help. I have recognized myself as co-dependent (which is the perfect prey for these personality disorders) and have made great strides to help myself, only to find where I have ended up today. Wishing i could have last year back, as bad as last year was for me and my boys, things could be worse than today. I wish EVERYONE, who has a relationship with these people (and I am not being unsympathetic for the afflicted) could know what i know about this
    horrible diseases. We are the victims of serious psychological abuse. And those who don’t know a thing about narcissism, and are in relationships with people who have these antisocial diseases (as I have learned and read hundreds of pages and books) will continue to suffer and think that they are the”crazy” one. A man named Richard Skeritt has written many very informative books and I have learned SO much from him. BUT… I am still stuck and confused and co-dependent … so really.. IT’S ME.. In need of help…. and others who need your help to escape the abuse and torture of these unassuming, difficult people who controlling and stealing the joy out of our lives. Just validated ….as that is what you do best, always in righteousness.


    trapped in Fairfield County

  7. Di says:

    Sorry I missed today’s show. But, Kathi Burns above, there are others of us who know narcissistic people and have dealt with them. They are predators, I think. I’m still rebuilding after dealing with mine. I wish you luck and do everything you can to get yourself out of the situation. Planning and implementation. Step by step and you will get yourself free.

    Good luck.

  8. Patricia King says:

    Dr. Phil, Come on to pill or not to pill are we freakin kidding. With the media Sex Sex and more Sex. The latest reality shows OMG have you seen them? Immoral lude continual acts of sex sex and more sex and we’re supposed to tell our kid’s to be abstinent. LOLOLOLOL!!! I have two beautiful daughters 16 & 19 I’ve had the talk we have open conversations about everything. Lets face it Parents if you don’t inform and protect your child they wont be the only one’s getting screwed.
    Sorry for the pun but it’s true. I have a lot more to say!!!

  9. Jen B says:

    hey Dr. Phil!

    I just wanted to say i have been a fan for a loooong time, and i watch your show pretty much every day. I am a youth counsellor in Kingston On. Canada, and i am very interested to know of any advice that you could give others who work in this type of environment.
    There are many things that occur on a day to day basis such as: disrespect to staff, other peers, as well as themselves; drug use; healing from abuse, or trauma; and not having a responsible parental figure in thier life.
    We use CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) as a basis in the working environment but there are still a lot of youth leaving the facility without, what i feel, is help for their future. Do you have any quotes or statements that could be thrown in (theraputically) and have enough meaning to stay with them for life? eg. “you choose the path of your life, taking responsibility for your actions is only the first step.”
    thanks Dr.Phil! looking forward to hearing from you!
    Jen! xoxox

  10. kim says:

    i am wondering what to do i am a single mom of a 4yr old which his father just in to his life about 6 months ago i tried to have my son go over every other weekend and that did not work because his father would always argue with his mom and woke my son up so i transfered the vistion to my house with my mom here on sundays after church and he would yell at my son and threten to tan his but if my son said something out of line like im not your friend i try to tell him kids say that and he said he will not allow him to disrespet him in that way i told him i am the soul parent and he does not have the right to hit. he also tried to kiss me which i pushed him away several times never giving in and never will. i dont know what to do at this point i am tried of him threanting my son who not even 5 yet my son is at the point if he does something wrong he thinks he should run away but i tell him its ok u have acciedents just dont do it again. and ask him if he loves me grandma and grandpa he say he does so i ask him does he still want to run a way he says no but i dont know what to do about his father i think his father being in my sons life i hard on my son.

  11. chrissy nakonsky says:

    dear doctor phil im not that sure how twitter works but hope fully this finds its way strait to you i am writing this to you because i need your help i am a lost transexual and a lost soul please help i ve seen you do it so many times

  12. Mitzy Roberts says:

    Ok, I have sent many emails and tweets trying to get your attention. I wonder if I come accross as someone who is just desperate to get on your show. Really I do not care if I get on or not. I would like to with my sister hoping you can help us make ammends but all I want is for my sister to get help. My sister had lived with me for 4 years she moved in when she was 14. If I knew then how messed up she really was then I would have done more to get her help. Now she is 18 and is now living with my brothers because she did not want to stay with me any longer. My sister is an out of control teen just because she is 18 now doesn’t mean she is an adult. She is still in high school and I am afraid she is going to drop out or fail her senior year. She has gone from bad to worse and my brothers will not get her the help that she really needs. Due to extreme low self esteem she has done and continues to hurt herself both physically and emotionally. She cuts herself, throws up, steals prescription drugs, has sex with strangers and so on. I do not want to have anything to do with her because she cannot show me any respect at all and is still being nasty to me. Just because I don’t want to talk to her doesn’t mean I do not care anymore. Trying to get you to help is the only thing that I can do to try and help. I did everything I knew to do while she lived with me but it was never enough for her. I am so afraid that she is going to end up pregnant, with an std, end up in the hospital or raped and killed even. I hear from my sister in law that she walks to the car wash to have sex. Now I have done some pretty dangerous stuff back when I was a teen but nothing near this bad. Even though my sister has treated me and my family here horribly I still do not want anything really bad to happen to her. So I am begging for you to help her and get her some counseling or something.

    If you have time and want to help me, I am still stressed about my whole family hating me and saying I am not a Christian because I refuse to talk to my sister. I do not talk to her because she is mean, nasty and everything she says is a lie. I read her notebook she has been lying to me and to everyone else for a very long time. I just had a baby after a very difficult pregnancy I do not need the stress and grief my family is giving me and I am not a glutten for punishment so I will not talk to that sociopath. If I am ever going to have a relationship with my sister or my family I need your help. Mostly I just really want you to get my sister some help before its too late.

  13. Carol says:

    I really enjoy your program a lot.

    The program I missed twice and I don’t know whether you will repeat it or not was the program about the girl that was hidded away for twenty-five years.

    I just wish you would repeat that program.

    But I do notice that your program is leaning towards the younger group meaning below the mid to upper sixty’s as the other lady said we do have our own problems.

  14. Lisa says:

    Hi Dr. Phil:
    I enjoy seeing you show everytime I get an opportunity. I just recently watched a show that dealt with girls being bullied in school. I had the same problem with my 14 year old daughter in the last year. As for this year she tells me that it has stopped happening in her school. She was being made fun of because she is overweight. I recently started taking her to the gym and she has been loosing weight to try to solve the issues. She said she didn’t care but I know she did care, because I used to be same way. I am overweight myself and I have lost about 60 pounds at 36 years old, because I am aware of the importance that has to my health. I am a single parent, and also a teacher. I recently had a few problems with her behavior. She started sending inappropriate text messages to her brothers that she doesn’t see a lot. He is same age just a little older. But in top of all that her friends have been sending messages and when I tried to reach them they do not pick up or answer the phone. I ended up taking the cell phone away from her. I also took the computer away from her. I do not want her to get into other things. I had gave her warnings before and she didn’t follow the rules. Now.. I am hoping that I did the right thing. In her messages she said things that were not true and really use language that a 14 year old should not be using..
    What do you recommend I do with her? She is not a bad kid. She doesn’t bad words, and she listens to her teachers and it is a respectful child. I do not know what is happening with this actions.

    I love my child and I have given her a healthy life with lots of love and caring. I always put her first in all the decisions I make. I have also decided to stay single because I don”t want to put her ever on any type of risk. Her father is not in her life and she choose not to be. He has too many kids and never gives her time at all. I did tried being friends for the sake of her well being. But he still acts like a child. In that case. I decided to raise and give her the best of what I have and that is my love. What do you recommend? Can you please respond by email..
    I thank you for your time!
    I look forward to hear from you!

  15. Sue Brown says:

    I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your having the Dr. Phil family on recently (the first one,to specify.) Without going into a long diatribe,I have been experiencing similar issues with my teenage son.I’ve been a mental health paraprofessional for around 18 years now and am usually on the other side of these types of things.It’s been hard to maintain any objectivity with my own child (not that was any to begin with,I’m honest!).With the parents you have worked with,does it get easier? I’m just trying to help him through this time without both of us losing our minds.

  16. Carole Westerkamp says:

    Dear Dr Phil:

    I have been watching your show from the beginning. I love it. I have learned alot from it. I starting watching you on Oprah which you were great. Rignt now, I am very scared with my money problems. Here is the story. My 3 sisters and I were getting inheritance money from my dad’s company he started. My sisters had an income already and I did not. We started to received the money back in 1999. My money was giving me an income so I can stay home with my daughter Vicki. I just got divorce back in 1999. Make a long story short. My investment is gone and no more income. I need get a job quickly. My checking account is -950 right now. Only income I am getting is child support 360 per month. I owe 5600 on back property taxes. I have to pay $242 each month or my house will be foreclosures procedure. I am so scared, Dr Phil. Can you help me? My daughter doesnt need to suffer. I am scared to tell my mother about it beause she is so critical when it comes to me. I just want to get my checking account back in the positive. I been going to food pantry to get free food. I am going to apply for free lunches and food stamps. I am going to try to get some cash assistance too. I am bagging you to help me. I dont have health insurance either. I am a diabetic type2 and I have high blood pressure. I need meds for anxiety too. I suffer from panic attacks. I cry myself to sleep many nights. I dont want Vicki to live like this anymore. Please Dr Phil you are my last hope to help us. We both think the world of you and your family. Sometimes I feel like a failure but I know stock market wasnt good for many people. Sometimes I think its my fault but I know its not. I feel so stupid that I didnt save my money good enough. I feel like I am failing Vicki as a mother. Vicki has special needs. She has moderate speech delays and cognitive disabilities. She is in the 6th grade and doing great. She is getting four A’s and one B in school. I am so proud of her. I wish you can meet Vicki. She is very funny and outgoing. She likes to watch your show too. I dont like asking for help but sometimes you have too. Let me know if you can help Vicki and I with our money situations. Thanks Dr Phil. Keep up the good work

  17. Amy Rogers says:

    Hi Dr. Phil,
    I would like to know if you have any ideas on how we can get our 16 year old son to understand the importance of an education, and the respect of others, especially authority. His grades have gone from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s. He is constantly causing problems in class and is already in Special Ed, he also is always talking back very disrespectfully. He has said he is ready to go out on his own and wants to quit school, not even going to happen BTW! He is also starting to get into legal trouble, he came to live with my husband and myself in Jan, because he was expelled from his last school for taking a knife to school. Then the last time he was at his mom’s we found out that the time before he and some friends thought it would be a good idea to break into a concession stand and steal $250 worth of candy! I have a brother who has aready been to prison and had him talk to him, but to no avail! I am scared that he won’t be able to get out of a serious problem next time, I need some advice, we have already taken everything dear to him, dont’ know what else we can do for him.

  18. Mitzy Roberts says:

    To Amy Rogers
    I know this is long but please read

    About your son I think he needs some tough love. Just my opinion though. I tried to do the same to my teen sister that was living with me but my family got involved and started babying her which only made things worse. My sister thought that she could make it on her own just because she was 18 even though she is still in high school. She thought that her friends would take care of her but three days later she cried to my husband to let her come back. I was going to if she apologized and showed me respect but she was a total brat who was extremely disrespectful to me. She only wanted to come back till she got an apartment and I said no and that the only way she could come back is if she acted like a teenager again who had rules well she chose to stay the night on the street instead. My husband took pity on her and let her stay the night in a house we rented and was in the middle of moving out of it had no electricity and no water. I think that being on her own made her realize how hard it is and that her friends won’t be there to take care of her. If only she had a few more nights of that maybe she would have come to her senses but instead she went crying to my brother who took her in.

    About your son maybe he needs to know what it would be like to be in Jail take him to a prison and let him talk to some inmates. Also make him get a job working fast food or factory work and see if some of the older people who work there will talk to him so he could see what life would be like without an education. It might work it might not. I wish I could do it for my sister I think its what she needs but since she isn’t my kid and 18 I can’t do anything. I am afraid that she is going to either flunk out or drop out her senior year and there is nothing I can do about it.

    I hope and pray that Dr Phil can help both of us. I totally understand what you are going through.

  19. Patrice says says:

    My husband has been missing ever since March 5th 2009. It happened after ha suffered a mental struggle of being torn between his mother’s hatred for me -because I am African American and not Italian and because I was not Catholic.

    I can relate to these women above about how dificult it is to live with a man like that. I believe my husband was Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes he was narcesistic. More disturbingly, he was abusive, which his mother encouraged and in the end he left everyone. He was last see at his mother’s house. He had left the children and I. My two beautiful children and I are extremely spiritual and O.K. however, we need closure.

    Please help us.

    God bless you,

    P.S. I have written to you from twitter also.

  20. George says:

    Congratulations on your show, which we watch almost everyday along with the family…
    We think the issues you bring to our attention are very important to the configuration of our society on the present days, we thank you and your great production team…
    We know is not easy to read every comment as it is not easy to find the people adequate to talk and give advise on every subject, every day, so keep on talking and we’ll keep on listening…


  21. Karen Courts says:

    I really enjoy watching your show.I have done psychiatric nursing 24 years and always enjoy your latest info on mental health issues. I have worked with chidren 6-18 adults and geriatrics with and without dementia.I worked for a year in a CD unit where the Canadian government flew addicts to Florida, paid for their 30 day inpatient stay and flew them back to Canada because the waiting time for in patient treatment for addicts was 7-8 months and that was in the early 1990’s.
    So I am very concerned about the proposed health care esp since I work in Home Health care taking care of Medicare patients. Not sure what will happen to them if
    proposed health care passes because Medicare benefits will be cut!!
    Florida has a very high population of elderly who without Medicare will go without care.
    Thanks for all you do
    God bless you and your family

  22. Wow.

    Does anyone remember the subject matter of the original blog post?

    I have to ask, in all sincerity: Those of you who are making such ardent appeals for help about everything from missing spouses to makeovers, what in the world do you expect to receive?

    I totally get the notion of latching on to someone famous in the hope of exploiting that fame, *that* is pretty darned clear. I’ve been occasionally tweeting “@drphil” about a missing child case that interests me, precisely because it has received very little media attention. My reasoning? That more people will see the information because Dr. Phil has a *few* more Twitter followers than my Twitter persona does — just by a couple of hundred thousand.

    What I absolutely do not get is the desire to be saved by someone whose bona fides is a degree in psychology, a television show and some self-help books — all augmented. clearly, by compassion and insight. Dr. Phil has been pretty vocal about common sense and responsibility, so the notion of people appealing to him for extrication from all sorts of difficulties (apparently by the well-known “poof-and-presto” technique) is heavy with irony.

    Oops. Before mentioning irony and being a smarty-pants, I should have submitted my list of Things I Want Dr. Phil To Fix. Should I copy my list here, in the space for discussing the contents of his blog, or over on Twitter and FB, social networking sites about which he wrote: “I know it is for fun so I try to keep it light yet responsive…”

    Definitely, Twitter, where I can microblog my situation in 140 characters. Yes, *that* makes sense!

    I know there are thousands of people out there who are hurting, scared, and confused, living in awful circumstances, with problems I could not even imagine. My heart breaks to think that appeals to Dr. Phil seem their only way out of trouble.

    When I first started thinking about this “thread,” I wondered how Dr. Phil and his staff managed to discern who truly was in crisis. Surely it must all start to blend into one big puddle of wants and needs?

    But it shows. It really does. The folks who are on the edge of a cliff? They don’t have time for my wordy nonsense. They don’t seem to care about being crowned “Right.” They don’t end every sentence with an exclamation point.

    They say it plain.

    God bless them, and if Dr. Phil can lend a hand, well, bless him, too.

    As for the rest of us? He points to all sorts of available resources, the tools needed for us to help ourselves.

  23. Beverly says:

    I am saddend because we no longer get your show here in Houston Texas, I enjoyed your “Get Real” advice because it makes sense in this crazy world we live in today. We have bosses telling us one thing and meaning another, same with spouses, friends and family. You will be missed.

  24. Wendy says:

    Totaly off subject but DR.PHIL I can’t get your shows any more!!! I love in the Houston area and they are no longer on, Dr. Oz is on instead! I even called Directv and asked about a channel that has your show and I would have to pay a little extra each month but because I get local channels here I can’t do that either. I don’t know what else to do. I am so bummed, I haven’t been able to watch a single show all season :(

  25. Mitzy Roberts says:

    To Bianca Castafiore

    I don’t think people ask Dr Phil for help because they want to latch on to someone famous. I think people are desperate for help. Well some are just wanting to be on tv but the majority I think just sincerely want help.

    I keep asking because I am desperate to get my little sister help before something really bad happens to her. She lives so far away from me now that this is the only thing I can do. I can’t and won’t talk to her. It would do no good. She needs a big wake up call from somebody like Dr Phil. If I could I would get her a counselor or a therapist but I can’t. I have pleaded with my brother who is now taking care of her to get her some help but he won’t.

    Anyways you are doing a great thing about tring to help the missing child. I hope that it helps. I watch HLN but they only mention a few cases. I do understand your aggravation about everyone asking for help. Most of them really can help themselves. That is why at the end of my post I said if you have time and want to help me then explained a lil with what I need help with. I really do not care about me. I am a strong person and will get over it. What I am concerned with is a teenager who is screaming out for help and not getting any. If things keep going the way they are she will end up missing.

  26. Judi says:

    Hi Dr Phil,
    I’m a 62 year old Mom, Grandma who has been tested in many ways. We are a middle class family. I’ll start out with my 39 year old son who’s has been a drug addict for many years. He is married to the most awesome lady and has two wonderful sons age 8 and 6. He has been in and out of jail for reason related to the drugs. One of these times was because I called the police on him. this broke my heart to do this but I want my son not the drugs. But I also am a enabler, For example I give him money, I run food to him and the list goes on. I’m getting better at resisting him but I’m a Mother and I hold my children so close to my heart I know maybe to close.
    Second Problem- My 14 year old granddaughter has been stealing from me. A few months ago my camera came up missing at first I thought I had missed placed it then I thought my drug addicted son could have took it, but that is one thing he has not done is steal from us. Last week my Granddaughter came over to visit when she left I discovered the play station was missing and she was the only one that could have taken it. I called her Mom who by the way is going though cancer right now. I told her what had happened and then I told her about my camera being missing she asked me what color it was and I told her red she said that she had seen it in our Granddaughter room. She has also taken money from her Mom her Moms camera and play station. I decided to press changes on her and did so. Thinking maybe if I had done this to my son at a younger age he wouldn’t be where he is today.
    So why I’m I writing I feel like such a failure even though I also have some very productive children I can’t help but feel this way. I want my son and granddaughter to get the help they need, and I want to feel better about myself.
    Don’t get me wrong I count my blessing everyday and I have much to be thankful for. My husband tries to tell me that what my children go through are there test in life and I just happened to be there Mother.
    Dr. Phil are family needs help, or is it just me?

  27. Leah says:

    Dr. Phyl:

    I read somewhere you were asking “What if you were wrongly accused of something outrageous? Would you be able to handle it?” My response to your question; It be very difficult to handle something like that in today’s society. With the communication media we have today (especially the internet) News spread like “wild fire” and there’s no stopping it, even after it ravages every thing and every one. Being wrongly accused of something could happen to any of us. If we are an “average Joe” and we hire an attorney to defend us. (Who’s going to protect us from our Attorney?) Attorney’s fees are so outreageous and then not only will we have to deal with the accusations but spending the rest of our lives having to work around the clock to pay the attorney’s fees. It is scary! I know I would feel like I’m in the middle of the road ready to be hit by a truck from all directions. If you plan to have a show about this subject, I don’t want to miss it. I’m very interested in hearing what you and your guests have to say about this matter. Very interesting topic!

  28. leslie says:

    Hey Dr. Phil
    I need some advice I am 23 years old and have been married 2 years and have a almost 3 year old son and one on the way, when i told him he was ready to kick me out at that moment bc he did not want another kid right now. My husband and I are currently split at the moment for something that happened 2 years ago, no even u think i had sex with another that is not it i would never do that why im married. and since we have been split up my husband has basically done the same as i and cant forgive me but i can forgive him. i kissed and guy and he kissed my best friend and i deleted the guys number that i kissed and i asked him to do the same with the girl but he wouldnt and she text hima nd he text her which i dont think that is right at all i havent done anythign since we have been split bc i love him and i do want to be with him i just dont know what he wants and whats going thru his mind we dont have the money for our own place at the moment he is the only one working and he gets paid every 2 weeks and i only get 20 dollatrs out of it for my son and i. im putting my life on hold for this man bc i want to spend the rest of my life with him and he is going out every weekend drinking and hanging with friends and im afraid he is going to make the same mistake he did when he kissed my friend. i feel like everythign has to be his way or he is not happy and he will leave me and it kills me i feel like he dont listen to me i want him to hear someone elses advice and i hear someones elses point and mayeb he will listen i want my life back please help me i cant take this anymore im tired of being depressed and upset and crying all the time

  29. Coral Bonham says:

    Regarding the Dr. Phil family video, the daughter was laughing on stage about it. Dr. Phil you should have called her on that! Nobody thought that was funny but her! Also, she said her sisters life choices are causing her stress, how about her own choices? That is a cop-out! Millions of people are seeing this and like me wish you would call her out with these actions and comments.

  30. Tawnya says:

    I have 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl, I believe that every child needs to have the sex and birth control talk. I started with my boys when they were old enough to come to me and ask questions, believe it or not I even warned them about girls who say they are the pill, it is not always true. As for my daughter she suffers from RAD ( reactive attachment disorder) she abused as a toddler ( she is adopted) so her mental health professionals suggest that as soon as she is old enough to go on the pill she should. For most people would frown at this but if you have done any research on RAD you would know the facts. She is now coming of age to be put on the pill but I am terrified of this conversation. Why is this, I do not know. I believe it may be from not knowing the extent of her abuse and not knowing if she will be mentally ready for it. I do believe that every mom and dad should have the talk with their child, it can stop teen pregnancy.

  31. Gina says:

    have you ever did a show where your dad dies & your stepmom of 28 Yrs. brings her boyfriend to the funeral and introduces him to the family as one of your dads friends. only to find
    out that she was having an affair. I am the daughter of the decreased and am having a hard time with this and everyone’s telling me not to say anything to her. she brought this man to my daughters graduation party not 2 weeks after my dads funeral. we don’t want to exclude her from the family events but don’t want him there either. im so not looking forward to the holidays. its only been 5 mos. any thoughts on this or should I just walk it off?

  32. alma says:

    Hey Dr. Phil… i am really concern for a niece of mine who is 13 years old, and just recently sent us all in the family a wake up call.. we cut her wrists, not enough to harm herself but yes enough to get us in the family very worried. She was taken immediately to the doctor and referred to a psycologist…. to discover that she has very low self esteem.. she is an A student, always bouncing and singing, however this seems to be a cover up for what she really feels inside. She states her friends are pushing her into becoming an “older” girl, but she just doesn´t feel she wants this yet… Whatever advise you can grant us will be very much appreciate it!

  33. vince says:

    omg just had to block a person on twitter, such fowl words, i do not think i like twitter Dr Phil, at least on ur sites you have PEOPLE making sure we keep it clean, i know i used the words G.D alot a few weeks ago and im ashamed of my self i assure you but the words i read that were left for me on twitter would have made even a anti christ blush or satan him self, wow im glad my kid taught me to rt click on stuff or i would never have figured out how to block some one on twitter, i think ill just stick to Dr Phil.com and turning point i do love these sites best! twitter has people on it with a potty mouth, GET THE SOAP OUT PEOPLE AND USE IT FAST ON THOSE KIDS MOUTHS POTTY MOUTHED KIDS MAKE ME ASHAMED OF BEING A COMPUTER USER.

  34. vince says:

    alma re-read ur post hun you said you cut ur neises wrists im sure this is a typo erra but you may wish to rerite this one just a bit to clear your-self lol hers the part you need to redo============================ we cut her wrists, not enough to harm herself but yes enough to get us in the family very worried. =——————– copied and pasted it for ya, it do make yall out to be the ones needing attintion not here other than maybe protecitave custody from yall lol, sorry its not funny i know but the way you put it makes it seem a bit strange that shes in a mental place instead of yall being there.

  35. Joan A says:

    The baby (or babies) can call their grandfather; “Poppy-Doc” (since Robin wants to be “Blosson.”) The garden can continue to grow with names chaosen from this list: Rose, Iris, Daisy, Lily!!!

  36. Joan A says:

    The baby (or babies) can call their grandfather “Poppy-Doc” (since Robin wants to be “Blossom.”) The “flower garden” can continue to grow with names chosen from this list: Rose, Iris, Daisy, Lily!!! (Sorry, there are no boy-choices ;) )

  37. alma says:

    need to correct my initial statement to read:”she cut her wrists” we would definitely not hurt any one!!!

  38. vince says:

    Joan A i know a good boy one for Dr Phil { Grandpaw Phil } or { Dr Grandpaw Phil } or just plain{ Grandpaw } books can be so silly when it comes to nameing a person. i personaly was named after{ Vincent Price } guess that can explain the frankstine personality i seem to have at times hahahaha.

  39. vince says:

    thanks for the tweeter link Dr Phil i located my neisea daughter on tweeter they live in Mich and i only get to see them maybe 1 time a year if im lucky so i was so thrilled to find her on tweeter had i not found tweeter from ur site i never would have found my family on tweeter . period its starting to be a fun place to chat at now, scense i do not have any friends to chat with on-line, hell i only have one friend in real life and we cover everything we are both interested in talking about in a less than 5 min phone call once a month, hes like me he dosent like talking on a phone nether lol. probley explains why im on ur sites so much it kind of gives me a place to rite out my thoughts wether any one reads them or not it just feels good to try to put my thoughts to words on syber paper.

  40. vince says:

    alma im sorry i brought that to ur att the way i did it, i knew what you ment to start with and i for one am glad the kid has people like you there to look after her,i miss spell alot not by accident nether i just cant spell lol, also i see letters backwards and even numbers are that way too, i cant spell the proper term for what i have but it is a pain at times, i have to remind myself to pre read what i typed to be sure its spelled as close as i can spell it, im just plain stupid most of the time but i just wanted to tell you im sorry about the lols i used cause its not funny what happened atall, i was just loling at the wording my lols are a faint chuckle in real life im not laughing out loud i promice you i just cant figure out a way to abvr it or spell it correctly so people would know what the hell i was trying to say, im sure if you re-read my posts you your self could find many errors in my wording and spelling, so if it would make you feel better about my pointing your little erra out please feel free to lol at me all you want i promice i wont be offended by it in any way i too lol at my self alot, but after thinking about me posting back to you i do see how tackey that was on my part with all my heart im sorry alma.

  41. vince says:

    just got a funny in my mail i wanted to share if its allowed, if not at least you there at Dr Phils site can get a chuckle from itWhen girls don’t put out!!
    This was written by a guy…it’s pretty damn smart.

    Girls — Please have a sense of humour!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

    I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..

    ‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit’

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all
    dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

    I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

    Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least she knows I’m smarter than her.

    Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

    Men, forward this if you have the guts!!!

  42. Mitzy Roberts says:


    My husband thinks the guy in the joke is a genius. I smacked him,lol. He also got wacked with a box of tampons earlier. He has been asking forit all day.

    Anyways do you ever go on the dr phil boards? I don’t go on as much as I used to but have made some life long friends on there. We have some pretty good discussions sometimes.

  43. vince says:

    Mitzy Roberts im glad yall got a laugh from that joke lol and yes i go on Dr Phils other sites too but i stay on turning point more now i guess its the new has not worn off of it yet so-to-speak lol you and ur hubby have a great day.

  44. Mitzy Roberts says:

    I meant to say that he was asking to get smacked all day not asking for it, lol.

    He told me that he is going to send that to every guy he knows. I said “thats not right” Oh well you guys have to stick together I guess

  45. vince says:

    lol a good joke it was but in all honesty that would work for me relly good as i dont even have a girlfriend lol bet i could almost feel like i had one if i took women to shop that way i dont have the funds nether hahahaha, but at least i would give the impression that i had pretty women in my life i guess that would be better than giving the impression that i had no one hehehe, my luck the way it is i would probley get smacked in public for that stunt, might be worth it to feel the sting of a good slap upside the head every now and then lol.

  46. Sandy says:

    I was teaching high school during the impeachment procedures against President Clinton. My students felt compelled to tell me that having oral sex was not the same as having intercourse—-as history tells us. Not the whole problem, but that was a beginning!

  47. Mitzy Roberts says:


    Funny thing is that would not work for a married man because the woman would just slap him and take the credit card cuz its her money too, lol.

  48. Mitzy Roberts says:

    Dr Phil

    I know a lot of people who do not like the new beta boards including myself. I think the old boards was a lot easier. One big complaint that everyone has is the blue. It either makes them dizzy, gives them a headache and its just hard to read. Do you think you can at least have it changed to white? I know a lot of people that would highly appreciate it.

  49. Becky Bird says:

    What in the world is going on, we can no longer get your program…Who decided for us that we didn’t need to get your show in Texas of all places!!! I need help to
    get your show back on now…What can I do? Help Me Please!!!!! Channel 2 KPRC is the staion that now put Dr Oz on in your place……

  50. vince says:

    Mitzy Roberts hahahaha i did not think about that , i guess it would backfire on a married man hahahaha.

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