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November 20th, 2009 by Dr. Phil

The Rudeness Epidemic

date1I love your comments on the new post, and many of you agree that common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past.

Why have we become so accepting of boorish behavior? I believe there’s a right way and a wrong way to deal with offensive attitudes, and you’re going to see some interesting experiments on today’s show. If you’re the culprit, well, you just might learn to view your behavior in a different light.

So what’s the rudest thing you’ve ever witnessed or done? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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70 Responses to “The Rudeness Epidemic”

  1. Hortensia King says:

    The rudest behavior I see today is people who believe that because someone has made a mistake, (often it is a minor error) they now have the right to be rude and verbally abusive. I am very happy that I have never been a cashier in a grocery or department store, or a waitperson in a restaurant.

    However, I have witnessed the reverse too. I had a temp job once which involved driving 10 men from Russia and Turkmenistan around Florida for two weeks. (A great job!) I took one man into a department store to make a purchase and the sales clerk went ballistic and yelled, “You! You people come my country! I want to KILL all of you!” She was from Cuba originally and I was mortified at her behavior. On top of that, the man I was helping was not Russian.

  2. Rudest thing I’ve ever done is what you said today and react instead of respond and thus empower the negativity of someone else. Then while picking up the pieces of reaction realizing I could have handled with a better RESPONSE. Fortunately, doesn’t happen often because I don’t like how I feel if I react. Yet, sadly, sometimes if stressed… matters can snowball to where nobody knows who’s on first because everyone is too busy reacting. I believe too that, like the Bible says, if you associate with short fused people you can find yourself becoming that way if aren’t careful.

    I try most times to realize that if someone is rude to me that likely person is under stress yet sometimes if stressed too my reaction is in want of a better response. Sometimes, too, I might come off as rude if I react instead of respond.

    I say a prayer for anyone I’ve ever hurt in any way that person(s) heal for all of us have hurt others. That’s not an excuse because I don’t feel good about myself if I react which is again why most times I respond. I wish every time I had responded and never reacted which brings me full circle to praying for times I reacted instead of responding to heal the hurt.

    BTW: The cell phone Lynn got my mother’s last illness that we only used then in 2003… less than 50 calls. I gave to a Dr. Phil Website member who’s cell phone broke in 2003. Those cell phones do come in handy in emergencies and if expecting an important call. Lynn just decided that the land line was enough. I have a central vision loss in right eye and have trouble seeing to dial those cell phones now.

    The Golden Rule is Matthew 7:12 which if we followed as a natural consequence we’d likely obey the ten commandments. I say to recycle everything positive to recycle including kindness. Yet, even recently, I didn’t lose the lesson that I need to practice what not only I preach (or quote) and The Bible says. Plus what you say, “Do you want to be right or get along.” I want to get along so most times do yet wish I did every time yet sometimes I know better and should do better. My apologies for any time I could have done better with a prayer for healing for anyone that might have been hurt when I couldn’t see beyond my own hurt or just totally didn’t use my better judgement.

    Sincerely,
    SEA

  3. Michele says:

    I’ve always hated when people shove ahead in a line. When I worked retail and someone did that, and I knew it, I would politely tell them I’d be with them as soon as I helped the customer they just cut off. I never had anyone challenge me!

  4. Michele says:

    Your show really hit the button right on the nose today. Especially when you talked about cell phones. They are the same in Canada!! Why do they feel it is necessary to talk so loud, do they think they are special or are trying to get attention “hey look at me, I’m so important that someone had to call me at 6:30 a.m. while I am taking the public transit to work” I don’t think there is a morning that goes by when someones cell phone rings while on the subway going to work or coming home.

    If I am in a restaurant I always respect the person who is waiting on me. I have seen to many tv shows showing what can happen if they don’t like you. I could never do what they do as I think they take all kind of verbal abuse from customers.

    I love your show Dr. Phil. I am one of the many Canadians who lost their job during the recession and you are one of the two shows I HAVE to watch everyday now. I cried today when Oprah announced she was leaving her show. I get why, but yourself and Oprah do so many good things for people.

    Have a great weekend!!

    Michele
    Calgary, Alberta Canada eh!

  5. Nadia says:

    My parents never raised me to be rude towards nobody and I am still not rude to nobody. I dislike rude people and I never bother with rude people because they a waste of time to me. When people are being rude they think they are cool but they not cool.

  6. Kristina says:

    I loved your show today!
    I go to college, and I find it rude that some people will have conversations during the lecture which distracts people like me who are trying to learn. I also see a lot of texting during lecture and hear phones going off. Occasionally the professors’ cell phone goes off.
    I used to work as a cashier and know how rude some people could be, so I try to be courteous to cashiers and waiters. Trust me, if you are in the service industry, one courteous smile really makes your day.

  7. Jennifer says:

    Dr. Phil- One of the rudest things that I have ever witnessed actually happened to me. Back when I was a cashier, I had a customer come through my line w/ coffee that we had to weigh at register. He looked at me & said “could you please stand back from the register I don’t want to pay for 300lbs of coffee.” He said it front of everyone & yet no one did anything to help me or defend me. To make matters worse one of the managers was bagging the groceries & even he didn’t say a word. I was so mortified & angry. how can people just sit there & let someone dump all over me like that. It’s sickening the way people are just because I’m over weight.

  8. Dixie Gramke says:

    I found the “gentleman” ex-husband today to be funny, obnoxious, ridiculous and unbelieveable. No wonder he’s an “ex”. I used to be rude at times, but I’m married to a man whom I’ve never seen be rude to ANYONE…even ME! He’s never called me a derogatory name or insulted me. We’ve been married 52+ years and he’s yet to be disrespectful to me although he’s had plenty of reason to be!

    And that reminds me, Dr. Phil, you have some good shows…mostly problem shows. Why don’t you have a show of people who have been married over 50 years, who don’t have any problems b/c they’ve worked them out early on, who enjoy being with each other, enjoy (like you and Robin) being in your own home, just doing nothing together, enjoy the same kinds of music, the same kinds of movies and almost the same kinds of foods?

    It would be a breath of fresh air to let some of these youngsters see that marriage doesn’t have to always be in turmoil…and things can be worked out if you both try. One of our sons said one time to our pastor that he’d never heard his parents argue or fight! Isn’t that a pip? Not that we always agree on everything, but we agree to disagree and go on about our business! Or do you think a show like that would be too dull?

  9. Robin Davis says:

    I have been in the service biz & it is not an easy job,but I have learned that ya draw more bees with honey than attitude!!! If I have ever had a prob I always get my point across without coming off harsh. I think peeps need to understand that u do not have to be rude& ugly to get your point across.

  10. Jessica Ambrose says:

    I loved the show, I walk around all day long thinking the samething all the time. I must admit sometimes I really have a hardtime not saying anything back. Most of the time I have to pray before I go into a store, prep myself to avoid confronation. i.e., people reaching for something right in front of you without saying excuse me ( I so hate that) going really slow and using the whole isle, doesn’t everyone the stay right rule:) holding the door open without saying thank you? bumping your cart and they keep walking. I definately dont go to Walmart that is way worse 90% stupid in there so avoid that all together. I have been in Customer Service, Cashier and yes even a waitress! I do stick up for them when I see some individual harrassing them. Just a little tip for your guest always be realllll nice to someone preparing your food. I never got even to my tables who wanted treat me a way your guest does to wait staff, but to be perfectly honest I have worked with a few who did! Just a tip for him, the waitress doesn’t have control how your food is timed its the cooks, but you would know that if you ever did. Someone hire that guy to wait on customers he would change his ways! anyways good show!

  11. Melissa says:

    I’m a cashier and the rudest thing I experience is not what people say, it’s what they don’t. It’s when they don’t meet my eyes, reply when I say “hello” or acknowledge my existence in any other way. I hate feeling invisible.

  12. Bri says:

    The Rude Man you had on this show absolutely reeked of the same attitude my ex has. We cannot even be friends because it’s so bad. I mentioned to him that he should try speaking to me with empathy in mind, and he just calls it ‘babying’ me. It’s been like this for years, and I doubt he will become the person I met almost 12 years ago who was not rude, was empathetic, easy going, and didn’t leave me feeling insignificant, unintelligent, and humiliated. Now hes just aggressive, paranoid, can’t let things go and doesn’t know when to stop or back down (Dropping multiples upon multiples of text messages on my phone out of suspicion/paranoia seems to be A-OK with him, though I have voiced it is not normal behavior). How can you show someone the wrongs in their ways when they do not feel?

  13. mona says:

    DEAR DR, PHIL. I WATCH ALL YOUR SHOWS ,THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST ONE. I HAVE A 24 YEAR OLD SON WHO IS VERY IRRESPONSIBLE AND VERY RUDE. I TRY TO TELL HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT ITS NOT RIGHT,BUT IT DOES NOT PHASE HIM. I ALSO HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS 17YRS OLD. SHE ALSO TALKS SAME WAY MOST OF THE TIME .I LET HER KNOW ALL THE TIME TOO. I DONT KNOW WHAT IS THE REASON. THEY BEHAVE THAT WAY. I CAN COME COME UP WITH ONE REASON, THAT I WAS MARRIED FOR 22 YRS AND MY EX WAS VERY ABUSIVE TO ME PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY.MY EX WAS ALSO ALCOHOLIC AND HAD A BAD COMPANY. PLEASE SUGGEST ME WHAT TO DO. I AM LOOSING STRENGTH AND ITS MAKING ME VERY SAD AND DEPRESSED.I AM A WELL EDUCATED WOMEN. I HAVE A DOUBLE M.S. IN BIOLOGY AND BIOCHEMISTRY.I WAS DOING MY PHD.FOR 2 YRS .I TOLD ALL THIS JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I TRIED TO DO ANYTHING FOR THEM ,TO MAKE ABETTER HUMAN BEING. I DESPARETALLY NEED YOUR HELP. PLEASE.

  14. Cathy says:

    I also agree that public rudeness is getting out of hand, so much so that my New Years resolution last year was to become more assertive and to speak up when myself or others are victims of this offensive behavior. This is a huge step for me as I have spent the last 49 years trying to avoid confrontation (which maybe why I did so well as a waitress for 20 odd years). The last straw came about during a trip to the grocery store last holiday season. I was part of a long lineup, when some lowlife further back in line very loudly started complaining and making very rude comments about the cashier- swearing and saying how fat and stupid she was, etc. I was horrified and to this day regret that I didn’t speak up and defend the poor girl.
    No longer…
    Now I’m taking baby steps to address these idiots in my small part of the world.

  15. Windy says:

    I have a girlfriend that is just like the Rude Man you had on the show. For as long as I have known her she would bash other peoples children and her own, she always feels she needs to teach others a lesson about what they are doing or talking about, she talks constantly and does not let others add to the conversation without having to hear a rebuttal. She does not interrupt, but, she does not breath in a conversation so there is no room to converse with her. She is a bully and I have lost any respect I may have ever had for her.

    I have finally had it with our relationship. I have tried to be her friend, but, I am finding that she drains the life out of me. So, I recently (before your show aired) let go of my need to try to be friends and I am seeking more optimistic pastures. I have expressed my feelings about how she makes me feel, and it did not help. I don’t think she will ever change and it is not my place to try to change her.

  16. Cheryl Murphy says:

    I loved the show yesterday (as I usually do!), but I think I may have missed something. I completely agree that as a society we have become alarmingly rude (I’m 61 – is it my age???) – and my husband and I often question when and how this happened. However – what I’d really like to know is what to do when you are confronted by rude behavior? For example, what would Dr. Phil (or Robin) do if they saw someone with their feet on a table in an eating establishment? What do you do or say when someone cuts you off in a store? What do you do or say when someone is talking very loud and having an inappropriate conversation on their cell phone while in the bathroom??

    My husband and I, having been raised in the same era, and believing some of the frightening stuff we’ve heard about and have experienced are actually afraid to speak up to the socially challenged, as the responses are even more rude than the example behavior. I really don’t believe you should have to “stretch” or shove an elbow back to keep someone from “invading your space” – but I’ve been told to “get over it” when I’ve asked for more space in a grocery store line (and her cart was bumping my tushie!)

    So – to sum it up – great show – but maybe we could use some instructions on what to do when WE are the victim of rude behavior.

    Thanks for all you do –
    Cheryl Murphy

  17. Squishie1298 says:

    I absolutely agree that society becomes more and more rude as time moves on. I have witnessed people being rude and disrespectful to workers in the service industry. By all means, that is not right but I am becoming increasingly discontent with the treatment of customers by cashiers, workers in drive-thru windows at fast food restaurants, people that work at “customer service” desks in retail stores, etc. I find it extremely offensive when I get to the check out line at the grocery store and the cashier doesn’t acknowledge me in any way all the while carrying on a loud and presumably personal conversation with the bag boy. I have been to drive-thrus where the person attending the window said nothing but, “Here ya go” as he/she shoved my food at me. I once went to a customer service desk in a major nationally known retail store to ask assistance with finding an item. The response I got was, “I’m going on break. You’ll have to try to find it yourself.” Has customer courtesy gone the way of the dinosaurs? What ever happened to the days when we were guaranteed a “Thank you and have a nice day”? I bust my behind for every cent I have and when I choose an establishment in which to spent it, I expect a bit of appreciation no matter how much or how little I spend.

  18. Blgspc says:

    Before we had electronics to ENABLE the rude, we often had the rude ALL by themselves!
    One incident that sticks with me to this very day was a LONG time ago. I’m a Nurse and had worked all night long and was flying to San Francisco. It was a Friday afternoon just before a holiday and there were horrible storms scattered throughout the southeast. The flight to Atlanta on the smaller commuter was the worst flight I have EVER been on! There were delays and when I landed in Atlanta it was like a human ant hill. I ran to catch my flight and when I got to the gate I showed the attendant my boarding pass and boarded. That flight was supposed to have left about an hour earlier and when I boarded the broad-bodied plane, there were about FIVE people on the whole plane! I quickly hunted for my assigned window seat. When I found the seat there was an older woman with those half-len reading glasses, sitting in the aisle seat next to my window seat. As I approached her she never looked up. I initially thought that she was just REALLY engrossed in her reading material. So, I gently cleared my throat, saying “Excuse me…”. Still, nothing! Finally, I said, “Ma’am I’m sorry to disturb your reading but….” Without even looking at me, the woman throws up the palm her hand and interrupts me to-dismissively- say, “Look, Dear the plane is nearly empty! Just find a seat and get comfortable!”
    Without ever looking at me, the woman then immediately went back to her reading! I was thinking about the hoards of people racing to catch their flights and many were probably racing to catch the same one I had just boarded. Again, I spoke, “Excuse me, Ma’am but Delta Airlines assigned me to THAT window seat.”

    IT WAS AS IF I DIDN’T EXIST! The woman continued her reading while I stood there loaded down with my bags. AND, STILL, NOTHING! I’m Southerner and at that time I was young and small. I was raised to always be respectful of people and especially those senior in age to me but there comes a time when tact doesn’t work. I had reached that time. So, I leaned on the seat in front of the woman who had refused to even acknowledge my presence with a glance and leaning even closer to her head, saying, “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that because I’m a considerate young southern woman, that it would be beyond what I would do to just climb right over your boney little carcass to claim my assigned seat AND YOU ARE WRONG!” Before I had those words completely out of my mouth, that woman shot-up from her seat, like a little rocket, moving out of my way to finally let me settle into my seat. I ASSURED her that, before take-off, if there were any empty seats left I would asked to be re-assigned to another one. The woman was fuming! However, as we sat there soon the plane began to fill and the flight was FULL so there were NO extra seats. As we took flight, the woman began to talk to me! She went into the stresses in her life. She explained that she owned a multi-million dollar seafood company that had grown so that she had to fly to the southeast regularly to manage her enormous business. She then went on to discuss the burden of being so wealthy and the hidden tensions of being so RICH. I listened empathically as she vented about all of the inconveniences of being LOADED. When the drink cart rolled around she ordered a couple of glasses of wine and offered to purchase a drink for me but I assured her that I had MY poison in my bag-Diet Pepsi-and all that I needed was some ice. After talking for about an hour the woman looked at me and asked, “Oh, and exactly what was it that you said you do, Dear?” Well, I hadn’t really said. So, I informed her that I was an RN! The woman just gazed at me. (I looked about 14 until I was 35.) Chuckling she said, “Excuse me, Dear but you certainly DON’T LOOK like an RN!” I then added, “Well, I’m NOT JUST an RN, only recently I was promoted to the position of Head Nurse.” She clearly didn’t believe me and continued to chuckle and said, “Well, you REALLY don’t LOOK like a Head Nurse!” Smiling at her I responded with, “Well, Ain’t that something! Sitting back here in coach, you don’t look like a millionaire!!”

    BG

  19. SueAnn says:

    I agree with the first person. It is the ultimate in rudeness when a simple mistake by someone turns into a royal battle and the other person thinks it gives them the right to then be rude and hateful. Mistakes are made everyday by ordinary human beings. What more can be done when you have apologized over and over yet people still think they have the right to be mean and hateful and rude??? Even going as far as calling person vile names???

  20. Cynthia Woods says:

    I now am living in Rosarito, Baja California, Mexico.

    I notice there is a great difference between the attitudes of people. Here it is a lot slower and people have time to be with one another. Their is a lot more laughter and love between people, where in Los Angeles, (my home town) people are rushing around, about their own selves first and not really caring about anybody.

    I notice before I left, I went to the Beverly Hills Mall. I remember walking down the
    mall looking into the store windows at the displays and being so schocked at what I saw. I saw the manicans. Their faces looked so snobish and stuck up that it was schocking. I remember realizing that is what people are acting like. This is the
    “picture” set into peoples minds about the way that we are suppossed to act.
    Self important, stuck up and about “me.” That is our society today. That is without Jesus’s love.

  21. Cynthia Woods says:

    I guess I would just like to add to this what I am seeing as I am learning to live a christian life. I see in the Bible a love that learns to put others first. To care about what they care about. To respect their needs the same as our very own, and to learn to believe the best about them and truly love them. It is a growth process, leaving behind the childish and self centered lifestyle that just wants me
    first and to have my own way. That famous song, I did it my way, well, I found out is the picture of a self centered person that does not learn to do things Gods way. Anyway, we are to learn to grow in this kind of love and giving and it truly is a worthy endeavor. The Bible tells us love is not rude. So when we see rudeness, even in our own selves, we realize that we need more love.

  22. Tsukihime says:

    The man on the show reminded me of my father. He uses humor and sarcasm in public and private to be a rude bully. I could list a lot of things but the one thing that sticks in my mind is how he had a server in a restaurant lean across him to raise a screen because he “wanted to be able to look outside”. When she was raising the screen, he patted her on the butt. She took it gracefully and my father gets angry with me if I try to tell him it’s inappropriate. This server had to be in her twenties (he’s almost seventy) and he thinks he’s being cute. It’s obvious that he does not respect women and there is nothing I can do about it. I even tried to put it in a way he might relate to, asking if he would like it if a strange man touched me like that, but it didn’t do any good. I am surprised he hasn’t been hit or asked to leave places because of his behavior. I’m embarrassed to be around him but I can’t avoid it, he’s visiting from out of town.

  23. Anita says:

    You know, I have certainly witnessed rudeness in my life. But, I have to say, that when I go out shopping, it’s as if I, and others that I come across, are trying to “outnice” each other. And I’m not complaining.:-) I have been taking my uncle to the dr. recently, and I noticed that when others in the waiting room make or receive a phone call, they get up and leave the waiting area. The one place that I don’t enjoy any more is going to the movies. I feel that it’s rude when people talk to each other during a movie, or talk on thier cell phones. Especially when, meanwhile, my feet are sticking to the floor from the butter from previous popcorn eaters. We just rent a DVD and hang out at home.

  24. HAPPY SUNDAY MORNING EVERYONE…

    Dr. Phil, I suggest a show celebrating all the efforts of your online staff from web design to moderators etc. and their ad(voice) aka advice/tips:

    ONLINE ETIQUETTE 101

    I’ve seen almost everyone tarnish their halo online at some point… Including myself recently when someone asked me to help then said didn’t and worse untruths. (Sadly, my two cents was tossed in too and even though, or if, true didn’t need to be said.) Regardless, I should have stuck with my NO… so the buck stops here as I didn’t handle well. Our hearts are in the right place just sometimes our text is all over the place reacting. Sometimes click and send has a faster reaction time than a better response.

    It is easy to forget lots of eyes are watching since not everyone chimes in at once. Too, with advent of twitter, it is easy to be open messaging someone you can’t DM then forgetting to go to DM for someone you DM with. Already I’ve seen lots of tweeters open message by accident. I’d suggest everyone Google their member names exactly as spelled as it will be quite humbling if you do.

    Well, sometimes I elaborate since I use to be a word processing specialist which explains a lot of why the longer comments “may” be by those who took typing or keyboarding. At least in my case. I’m working on brevity. Where’s that period…? There(.)

    Sincerely,
    SEA

  25. brenda says:

    My Mom watched this show on Friday and said there was a book that Dr. Phil made reference to regarding the rudeness epidemic. Do you know the title of the book? I’ve researched everywhere and cannot find it. Please help. Thanks a bunch!

  26. Annie says:

    My sister and I were waiting in the line at the bank before they opened the door. A man and a lady were pushing there way to the front. The man said I guess I have to push my way in I was here first. We were all in our car before and we got out and got in the line there was no one in the line. A lady came from the side and said I guess I have to get behind the herd. When the door was open there was shoving of these two people to get in front. We finally got inside and the two people one being white and the other black. The lady said get out of the way n.. it’s because of you that there are so many problems in the world. The man just looked over to her and shook his head. I told her that was uncalled for because they were both rude to each other and other people waiting in line. She just said they all know it’s true they all need to be gone the n… and the jews.

  27. warungbarung says:

    i remember being rude to some fellow i met back at college. it cost us our friendship..somehow i wish i could have been more cautious of my choice of words then. miraculously, it continues to haunt me till this day. i hope many of us there take note of this.

  28. Krista says:

    I teach fourth grade, and have to say, that rudeness is at absolute epidemic proportions. I have to say that every day I take note mentally of something that I found offensive to be sure to teach my kids NOT to do that. The sad part is, when the parents come into the school and it become very obvious, very quickly why their children behave in the manner that they do. I often wonder if people realize how they look when they interact with others, or if maybe they just don’t care!

  29. Brenda Thomas says:

    Unfortunately, it seems like people are becoming less aware of others around them. I can’t tell you how often I walk into (or out of, for that matter) a place of business behind someone and once they are through the door, they stop. I’m not exactly sure why they can’t take a few extra steps or even step to the side so others can enter as well. Cashiers don’t say “Hello” or even “Thank you”. We paid for parking at a hospital recently and the man in the kiosk was on his cell phone the whole time and never once spoke to us or even looked at us! One thing that I really can’t stand though is going to a live musical performance and the person next to you or the person behind you sings the whole time. I feel that if you want to sing along with your favorite musician, get in your ca, crank up the volume and sing your heart out. I paid to hear the musician, not someone that is in my ear, out of tune, and preventing me from hearing/enjoying the performance. Perhaps they want to demonstrate that they know the lyrics? I think that’s really rude.

  30. I think its rude and lazy when people don’t even take the time to read. Like at a doctor’s office the person who calls out names barely looks at the paper and pronounces names wrong. I am not talking about difficult names either I know a friend whos last name is Thurman and people would constantly call him Truman. Come on people it isn’t that hard to look at a name and sound it out. I am used to it my maiden name is Spanish and have had people mispronounce it all my life even though it isn’t that difficult. It did bother me because my name was Camacho and people would say it Camanche. There is no N in my name. Oh well at least I don’t have that problem anymore. I also think its rude that when I first meet some people they automaticly think I don’t speak English and they say very loudly and slowly “Do you speak English” like I am a mentally retarded deaf person.

  31. RE: brenda says:
    November 22, 2009 at 11:38 am

    Hi Brenda… You can click “Today’s Show” link in Dr. Phil’s Article above to find book you’re referring to that “may” be “I see rude people” by Amy Alkon or click below link. In right margin at link below, I believe, after you scroll down a bit.

    http://drphil.com/shows/show/1355

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO U & EVERYONE “across the boards” behind the boards & beyond,

    SEA

  32. Jennifer Johnson says:

    About 6 years ago when I was in college I worked at a restaurant waiting tables. It was about 7 o’clock when I was told I needed to pick up a 10 top. Keep in mind I was a 21 yr white female. This table was an obnoxious group of African American males ranging in age from about 21-45. They kept me running back and forth for 2 hours. Everytime I would come to the table one person would ask for a refill.. I would ask “does anybody else need anything?”…no reponse until I got back with the refill and I had to go get somebody else one. This was no big deal, it happens waiting tables some people are just busier with special requests and needs. What I found rude was at the very end I was seperating the tickets and running credit cards around the corner.. where the group could not see me but I could hear them. One of the young guys asked “what are you going to tip..?” another one of the guys at the table announced to the group “I’m not going to tip her!! It is about time a white person waited on us” I can still hear this guys voice in my head.. I was so mad. and yet I put a smile on my face swallowed my pride and continued to give change. The total of the checks was about 200 dollars… and as I cleaned the table off I took my $2.38 and thought to myself.. really!?! Jeez. I’m glad I am going into the medical field.

  33. Katie Arter says:

    A few years ago at Xmas time I was in a dept. store walking down a main aisle. I looked down a side aisle and saw an elderly lady fallen on the floor with her elderly friend trying to help her up. They had been trying to lift a bag of sidewalk salt into the cart and the one lady fell down. I ran over and asked if she was okay, then asked permission to lift her up from under the arms. They were very thankful but declined my offer to walk with them or get a wheelchair. What was rude about that, you ask? Why didn’t anyone else stop to help!? I saw plenty of people shopping in the SAME aisle! Security personnel would have seen on their moniters 2 elderly women on the floor and should have rushed a staff person to them! Where was the store clerk for that department on patrol assisting customers?! How could people just walk by?! Get involved, its always your business to help people.

  34. Edna Glenn Freeman says:

    I ask my husband not to talk on his cellphone while driving is a no-no, twenty years later. He was very rude talking on his cellphone to a person whose irate or
    whatever. The only thing to do is hang it up.

  35. Jana says:

    I have a friend who has Cerebral Palsy, and is high functioning enough to know when others are being rude to her.

    She was in a restaurant and some lady was staring at her and she finally asked the lady if she had a problem, the lady said she had a problem with her, and my friend asked her why, and the lady just left and didn’t answer her question.

    the behavior of the lady hurt my friend’s feeling, but she now knows it wasn’t her fault that that happened.

  36. Kim says:

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING… Here is one that still has my head spinning! And its funny as hell!

    I invited a “friend” and her family to my home this Thanksgiving, and posted the following on facebook>> “So excited! We just purchased a deep fryer and we’re frying the turkey this year” And the friend I invited replied: “GROSS” To which I responded: “Wow, where are your manners? lol youre an invited guest, feel free to cook the turkey just the way you like it, and bring it over!” And she replied: “GROSS” again! So I responded: “Not grosser that your manners!”

    Apparently this pissed HER off enough to say: “I think I will keep me and my bad manners home, I’ve had fried turkey and there werent enough bathrooms to contain it in my digestive track!”

    I lost my ever loving mind after she wrote that but I kept my cool and said nothing and erased the entire post and left it at that. Shes a 39 year old woman and I dont know where she learned her manners but I realized she was seriously lacking in common sense, etiquette and manners at that point and knew it was pointless to continue the conversation.

    DR PHIL? I NEED TO KNOW>>> DID I OVER REACT, OR WAS I RIGHT TO POINT OUT HOW RUDE I FELT HER COMMENT WAS??? Now I am wondering if I should have said nothing at all because I feel I may have taken it too personally and pushed her to be defensive.

  37. Tasha says:

    Dr. Phil, I am a recent college graduate with my undergraduate degree in psychology trying to pay back my student loans while working as a waitress at a local restaurant and as a cashier at Target. Lately, it seems as though people are becoming more rude than they have ever been. The thing I find most rude is when someone ignores me while trying to speak to them, and this occurs at both of my jobs. For example, last week this lady came into the restaurant and I greeted her by saying “Hello, how are you today? May I get you something to drink?” She ignored my question and immediately made eye contact with the cook and told him her order and did not speak to me the entire time. This is very offensive to me and the same occurs while speaking to someone while cashiering. It is as if they act like because us service workers are “serving” them, they are better than us. I was raised to believe that nobody is better than anyone else, and the behavior from these people just seems unexcusable!!!!1

  38. kathy says:

    i agreee people are so rude, try going to walmart, kingdom for rudeness, that is why i stay away from that place.

  39. Anita says:

    Hi Kathy, Out of curiosity, where are you from? I shop at WalMart all of the time and it always seems to me that I and my co-shoppers are trying to “outnice” each other. One thing about this is, I tend to met up with friends and family at this WalMart. Also I personally know many of the cashiers. I also go to Goodwill, Food Lion, Kroger, and it’s the same. Again, this is not a very large community, and a lot of us know each other. I don’t care much for the local mall. Do you think it makes a difference what part of the country or even a particular state, that we’re from as far as rude people? I hail from SW VA.

  40. denise steffen says:

    The day we saw Dr.Phils show-we waited in line for 1 hr. 1/2 to see New Moon-as a treat for our girls who made great report cards. I was so stunned to hear and see sick people all around us! They couldn’t cover thier mouth? What are they thinking with H1N1 going around. I could hardly enjoy the movie with drippy nose behind me,blowing constantly-and coughing girl below us NOT even covering her mouth.How RUDE!~Whats wrong with these parents to allow thier children to go into public place sick..and not even teach them the basics of covering thier mouths! Please bring a face mask,and hand sanitizers to TINSLE town,or any other public movie viewing. RUDE RUDE RUDE

  41. Barbara says:

    We have rude people in South Africa too!!! I went to my husband’s company Christmas function yesterday and his EX secretary walked right past me, around me and behind me and did not even bother to say hello, good afternoon, hi… she totally ignored me as if I was invisible. How rude. She does this all the time to other people as well and everyone is sick of her bad manners. It is obvious why she is the EX secretary but she is now in charge of marketing and deals with customers and clients. Oh dear, what a huge mistake.

  42. valerie says:

    Hi Dr Phil and other writers
    I so agree with how rude people can be especially with their must have conversations while at the counter at a store or in a diner in earshot of everyone to have to listen to their conversations. Which is not even as bad as the content of their conversations. I work in an ED and this too seems to be the place to make phone calls even when the Dr enters the room it’s ridiculous sometimes.
    Other examples of extreme rudeness is the driving but thet’s an even longer story
    Thanks for reading my comment
    Valerie

  43. Life In Process says:

    I loved this show … my pet peeve is loud foul, mouthed people in public & I have had the great satisfaction on 2 recent occasions to deal with these rude people.

    The first time was in a small mom & pop restaurant at dinner with my family. A belligerent 50ish man came in with his wife (?) and was cussing her out loudly & continuously. After a short period of time I nicely asked our waitress to ask him to tone it down & she asked us if we wanted to move instead. This was a small place so we still would have heard him so I reiterated my original request. The manager then asked him to tone it down & to the relief of everyone there the rude man stopped! All it takes is politeness & persistence & I think the staff was even really proud of the outcome – empowered them I hope to pay it forward.

    The second occasion was in a fast food restaurant at lunchtime – very busy, lots of business men & a few families & one very intoxicated foul mouthed twenty-something guy. After a minute or two of listening to this guy holler at the staff I asked him to please change his language in front of my kids and myself – he apologized! I then turned around & chewed out (politely) all those businessmen – why is it that none of them had the guts to tell this guy to knock it off & it took a woman to do it.

    We are responsible for the state of rudeness around us & we need to make a difference where we can – but do it politely. So pick your pet peeve & let’s change the world around us a little bit at a time.

  44. Gina says:

    I have been rude many times. I think it stems from me being unhappy with myself and life. I want to change. I do not like who I’ve become.

  45. June says:

    It offends me when someone starts curseing in public places. There can be children, women, mothers or grandprents around some people will dont care anymore. When I was coming up my mom always told me not to curse, and when I asked why she would say “you sound like a sailor”. I am thankful for her teaching me good respectful behaviour.

  46. Dawn says:

    The rudest thing I’ve ever heard of happened to a good friend of mine. She is funny and sweet and kind, but neither one of us will be entering any beauty pageants. One of her brothers married a girl from Georgia. My friend was in the wedding party. At one of the (many) pre-wedding parties, a female member of the bride’s family approached my friend and told her that she should bow out of the wedding party because she would ruin the pictures!

  47. toodygoodshoes says:

    The White House party crashers are the epitome of rudeness and so tacky. And now we are finding out that this isn’t the first time they’ve done it. They were escorted out of another shindig a month or so ago (they gained access by entering through the busboys’ door). I guess they think it’s cute and funny, but it is appalling.

  48. Stephanie says:

    Almost everywhere I go, I hear people chewing gum with their mouths open!!! It makes such a disgusting wet smacking sound, which I find so impolite and disgusting! I hear it in class, on the bus, in malls and it it really gets on my nerves. The only sound more annoying than this is when people POP their gum. I can’t stand rude people like this!

  49. JoAnn says:

    My daughter spoke kindly about how pretty they looked in their clothing in a public hotel lobby to some women obvoiusly from Arab/ Middle East or Asian Muslim country. When a man of their same descent suddenly came from behind her and bodily pushed her away from them without a single word. She was very upset and said “You do not treat women like this here”. He grabbed her and threw her, tearing her shoulder apart. She was taken to the ER. A warning to nice well-meaning people that the saying “don’t talk to strangers” is still a good idea.

  50. TheQuackPack says:

    Well, the rudest thing Ive ever done was when I was 21 working at a Mac Donalds. A guy came into the counter from the drive thru . He was Screaming about his order being wrong , that the Drive thru go it wrong . I was working the counter and had NOTHING to do with his order but he looked at me and proceeded to throw his entire drink tray and bag of food at me! Stuff went all over me. I did not even think.. I scooped it up off the floor and threw it back at him and then some telling him he was RUDE and fat and did not need it anyway! .. well.. I then took off my Visor handing it to the manager and QUIT.. Was not getting paid enough for that!

    The rudest thing I ever witnessed .. this is hard cause there is SOOO much. I would say that it was when I was working first Aid in St Paul with the Red Cross at an event at the civic center. A woman went into preterm Labor after fainting and had fallen onto someones jacket . This person literally grabbd it out from under her body while she was still on the floor causing her head to bounce off the cement floor and then demanded to have her name and address for the dry cleaning bill! Her water broke and it had gotten on his Jacket!
    Keep in mind this woman passed out cold, somehow his jacket ended up under her , her water broke getting on the jacket she is now in labor , preterm labor with Our medical crew around her she is not well at all and crying and screaming and this guy is in her face wanting her to pay for his jackets cleaning bill? Id say that was pretty rude!

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