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December 4th, 2009 by Dr. Phil

Wedding Twitters

socNetI’ve heard of people Tweeting during the movies, while driving and even in the delivery room after giving birth. But how’s this for a new high (or low) in social networking: updating your Twitter page at the altar, right before kissing your bride?

That’s what a Maryland groom did, and the video of his unconventional “vows” went viral. Not only did Dana Hanna interrupt the ceremony to type: “Standing at the altar with @TracyPage where just a second ago, she became my wife! Gotta go, time to kiss my bride,” but he also updated his Facebook status while his bride-to-be and the minister stood patiently by. Guess he didn’t have cold Tweet!

So what do you think about the antics of this fast-fingered fiancé? Was it just a cute way of symbolizing his new life as a married man, or have we gone too far as a society by broadcasting the intimate details of our lives in 140 characters or less? Let me hear from you.

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38 Responses to “Wedding Twitters”

  1. Tara says:

    I think that was really clever. My brother-in-law Tweets ALOT and has a real discrete way of doing so. We’ll be out with him and I’ll check my Twitter when I get home and he’ll have tweeted 3 or 4 times and I was right there and didn’t see it.

  2. Lissa says:

    I think that is awful. Getting married is not a show and although we invite friends and family to witness the event, in reality it is a private moment. I would not have said “yes” if my husband-to-be was so wrapped up with himself to be typing during our wedding ceremony. And besides that, shouldn’t everyone that cares about you (and vice versa) be watching the moment…or are we so absorbed in this technology that rather than actually watch the event, we sit in the pew looking at our phones reading about it??

    While typing, you are going to miss the moment: the facial expression, the emotion and the true meaning of the day!

  3. Even as a very frequent tweeter and FB-er, I am appalled. There has to be a “line” and this guy totally crossed it. Yes, social networking has gone too far when you’re doing it at the altar – or in church, or in front of your date, or at the Christmas dinner table or. . .

  4. Terri says:

    Obviously staged, and that’s ok :) Had it been an actual interruption then maybe it would have been too much. There is a time and place for tweeting and updating FB but typically this shouldn’t be one of them :) TWEET TWEET! :)

  5. Sorry… I was just way out in left field tweeting when saw UR tweet and came back here to see if my blog comment on previous blog accepted and saw this new blog.

    Well… would have been more romantic if both bride and groom did. Cute though. I guess…

    So far by helping persons on Dr. Phil Website to learn how to tweet and produce on Produce the Doctors and Blog on UR blog I’ve been in a HUGE tweet dilemma and lost someone I thought was a friend by my being a stickler to rules. Quote of what person said to me: “Since Dr. Phil is tweeting U would U ask him to help someone.” Felt guilty not to since children involved and became a tweet disaster and never heard back from you so all for naught. Didn’t help anyone or myself then person said didn’t ask me to etc. etc. etc. However, the buck stops here cause I said I didn’t think a good idea so one more lesson to go by my first thought and not cave in.

    After your show yesterday I started to delete every account I have online then didn’t. There are pluses and minuses just like with everything Dr. Phil. I’m cyberly over extended and I know it shows. You said you wanted us all to get excited about our lives and boy did the cyber bleacher seats get filled with excitement when you joined us up here. So much so there’s sadly been a bit of friction yet everyone seems to have survived so I wish us all well. Growing pains…

    THE GIFT OF US ALL

    Not only is today a gift since the present
    WE are a gift
    Being present

    Above is a play on present as in each of us are a gift being present and being fully present in the moment. With all this technology I don’t think all of us are fully present in the moment anymore. So, Dr. Phil, I think we agree.

    Sincerely,
    SEA

  6. Suze says:

    I guess it was staged; regardless I think it was in poor taste.
    I love a good joke and have a great sense of humor,but that just isn’t funny to me.It seems like people are using their wedding ceremonies as a way to get that “15 minutes of fame.”

  7. FosterBoys says:

    I was staged. It was humorous. Both Bride and Groom updated their status together. I guess you should be asking yourself how much you think people want to know the minutiae of your life. You post it. What do YOU think?

    BTW, that was pretty cold-hearted what you did to Ms. Stephenson.

  8. Nicole says:

    As I commented on FB, I think it was funny and obviously staged. AND, the wife did it too. If you looked closely, he gave her, her cell phone also. It was a nice, clever, comedic relief to a formal ceremony and it made the audience laugh as, yes, though serious, weddings today are “shows.” We do everything for entertainment. I laughed and thought it was cute. Happy Tweeting, Dr. Phil.

  9. Erin says:

    If my future husband was Twitting during our ceremony I would take the phone and hit him over the head with it multiple times. What was he thinking. It is your wedding day. Why would someone even have their phone on during a wedding? What a great way to start a marriage and what is the message you are sending your bride, “Sorry honey, but my twitter page is more important then our wedding vows.” I am glad the audience had a good laugh at it and the bride had a lot more restraint then I would have.

    Dr. Phil I wounder what Robin would do if you were twittering or updating your face book during your wedding vows? (I know twitting was not around back when you were married, but let just say for sack of argument it was).

  10. Tracy says:

    I think this shows his future bride how Shallow he is. being on his cell phone should of been the last thing from his mind. Besides most friends he should of been thinking of sending something to should of been sitting there in the church. Just my opinion which I’m so good at getting in trouble for giving. LOL

  11. Karan says:

    I could only assume that this man wanted attention. Everyone that knows him well probably already knew he was getting married. He probably thought it was cute to twitter and update at the alter. It’s actually quite annoying. I don’t tweet and I rarely update my facebook. To me, it seems like people tweet and use facebook to stay connected to people that can’t be in our everyday lives. But when you are at your wedding, where most people know you (so they already know you are getting married), it seems a bit redundant and silly to tweet and update facebook. Again, I think he just wanted to be in the spotlight. In my opinion, more annoying than cute.

  12. Janice says:

    I think that this is very unacceptable. Updating before and after the ceremony for friends that couldn’t be there, sure! Why not? But standing at the alter, about to say kiss the bride, sorry, but that’s carrying it too far. It’s really awesome that he wants to broadcast the moment he’s married, but I’m betting that his bride, and probably the minister and their loved ones, were none too pleased with him. Makes me glad that my fiancee doesn’t use twitter or facebook.

  13. Jeri M says:

    Personally, it would upset me beyond words. I would view it as disrespectful and down right rude, but if the new wife didn’t care and the minister didn’t mind, then who am I to tell them what is wrong or right for them.

  14. sandra ornelas says:

    I think that this was the coolest and sweetest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Why??? Well, because to me, as a woman, I believe that a man should always give his wife her place and by announcing his “I do” on twitter it tells me that he was anxious to annouce it to the world that he’s tied to knot.

  15. marilyn says:

    I am beginning to think that I have lived too long. Getting married and taking vows is one of the most important things you will ever do in life and he has made a mockery of it. If I had been his bride, I would have walked back down the aisle and left the church!!!
    Sincerely,
    Marilyn Ghezzi
    Melbourne, Florida

  16. Minkydo says:

    I think it’s no big deal. If she cared, she would not have Twittered either. A news article I read a day or so ago stated that he had her phone in his pocket at the ready for her–which she used. The minister was in on it.

    While I believe marriage is sacred, I don’t believe the wedding is a big deal and find the production to be a waste of resources, but that is another topic altogether :)

  17. Elizabeth says:

    There is a first for everything. As long as he didn’t offend anyone and had his bride ’s permission who are we to tell him he shouldn’t have done it just because it’s not customary. Who knows, could be that he ushered in a new trend:). One thing we have to accept: times are changing.

  18. Heather says:

    I think everyone is being way too quick to pass judgment on this couple. If you watched the video everyone was laughing about it. Obviously it didn’t bother them, so why would it be our place to judge them. I know that me and my husband do things that are romantic to us, that no one else would understand because they don’t know the story behind them, maybe that’s what happened here. Therefore Dr. Phil, I think it was cute. Had the bride stomped down the isle red-faced, it would have been out of place, but she liked it, why question them?

  19. Laura says:

    Too far! I think if he really felt the need to have things posted right away he could have asked a friend attending the wedding to do so from their seat so it was less obvious, but seriously, wasn’t everyone who really cared about his status already at the wedding? Just saying………

  20. Chrys says:

    At first I thought it was kind of cute, but then…..it hit me, entering into marriage is not something to be taken lightly. You are standing before God as your witness. We are supposed to be reverent of the promise that is being made. Taking a vow is a serious thing. I feel people forget this.

  21. Linda says:

    I think they must have talked about it before the wedding and she was ok with it. It was supposed to be a fun thing. Not anything I would do if I ever get married though. Actually two people I have never met but have been “chatting” with met at this fan forum. They like each other and finally met in real life so to speak and a few years ago they got married and had this “wedding thread” with wedding pictures at that forum.

  22. Rebecca says:

    I would not have done it. They made the choice and who are we really to pass judgment?

    But then again, we were among the first couples met and married through match.com. That in its day, 2000, might have seemed scandalous and twitterpating to some. But today, everyone seems to know someone who met their match on the internet.

    I think that this is going to rank up there with the wedding couple that came down the aisle to music and their party dancing. In the end, what big deal was it? They get their 15 minutes and the world keeps moving forward! :-)

  23. Dawn Crawford says:

    Who was he tweeting to if his closest family and friends were there at the ceremony?

    I think it’s strange and definitely not something I’d want my husband to do, but as long as it didn’t offend or hurt his new wife’s feelings, then to each his own, I guess.

  24. jennifer b says:

    I think its good and bad. Maybe he shouldve atleast waited till after they walked down the isle to say he just got married and so forth. Hes obviously very very happy!

    What does the wife feel about this?
    I think its mainly how they feel about it. Its cute its wonderful he did but maybe shouldve waited a bit. But then agian who knows she might of loved it thinking my man is proud of this day and he has to talk about it so it couldve touched her heart and soul! :) Hope there happy after this! :) It can and is a beautiful thing!

  25. Gabrielle says:

    First of all, who taught that groom that it was okay in church, and at the alter no less, to text or be engrossed in your phone?

    As humorous as it was intended to be, the groom’s actions said all of the wrong things: “I know I JUST said you were the love of my life, but let me prove to you that Twitter and Facebook (literally) come first,” “Though my vows said I promise to love you, honor you, and be faithful with God as our strength, my vow for this really belongs to my social networking sites,” and “I promise to take care of you in sickness and health, oh oh wait, let me tweet this real fast, can you wait on that just a second?”

    And that’s just the beginning.

    If you wanted to add some humor to your wedding do it tastefully, and not at our spouse’s expense. I would be so upset, even if I had enjoyed the hobby just as much as my groom.

    There is a time and a place, and the alter is not one of them!

  26. Dewald says:

    CRAZY!!! It’s awfull!!! I can’t believe someone would do that… I mean getting maried is something serious. If I were the bride i’d leave him.

  27. Carol says:

    I just finished reading this post. I am not sure that I would have wanted my husband to tweet or updated his facebook while we were getting married. It seems rude to be focused on something like that while you are taking the biggest step you may ever take in your life. Maybe I am just old fashioned or not really up to date on the latest craze.

  28. Sarah says:

    I’m sure that since they both did it neither one is offended by it. I wouldn’t like it, which is why it would never have happened at my wedding; however, to each his own. That’s the culture of young people these days. If you are into it, go for it. My husband and I don’t use social networking. We don’t text or tweet and we’ve never used facebook. I’ve seen marriages and relationships crack and fall apart b/c of facebook and I feel that the temptation in my life is unneccessory. I have enough other things to deal with.

  29. Jana says:

    I thought it was in poor taste at the Cerimony. He should have done it, the tweets and facebook status, the next day.

  30. Lilly says:

    I think he is a very selfish person who obviously doesnt care about anyones feelings but his own!! Ofcourse I am no psychiatrist but really, who does that?

    I am however, more shocked at the bride for going through with it! I mean if nothing else it was inconsiderate not to mention inappropriate. its also a clear sighn as to where his prioritys lie-if he even knows what that entails. Jesus!! This really is original, talk about selfcentered. One question comes to mind though. Why do such people want to get married? When clearly they would rather be single and be free to do as they please-whenever, however and with whomever they please.

  31. J Maresca says:

    Dr Phil Family: Dr Phil please open your eyes Erin is a sneak and a liar and has created many of the problems for her children, I believe the Judge saw through her when in court for her grandson, I wonder if you just don’t see Erin is a loney troubled woman and needs help herself yet you seem to believe all that she says.
    Alexandia and katherine should stay away form her until she fixes herself.

  32. Wendy J. says:

    Staged or Not Staged? If it was staged, then the actions of the groom might be considered humorous. His behaviour (and hers too if she was doing the same twittering) would be a good indicator of how technology has affected us to the extreme. If it was not staged, I would find that if I am not the center of his attention at a moment that was very important to our future, I am not sure if I would want to stay by his side. I realize that there is no way I would be the center of his world all the time in our everyday world, but on the day that we are exchanging vows, he would be the one I would be focusing on and I would expect the same treatment.

  33. fanofbothofyou says:

    Cell phones should be off during an event like this. He showed total disrespect to his wife-2-b as well people in part of the ceremony. Unless it was an emergency I think it was selfish of him. This is a huge step for some expecially if it being the first time, but my thoughts is that if you have waited to get to that point (the alter) you could of waited to do any of that some other time. Like maybe if he had to go to the men’s room or something. I have been married one time in 1983 and had I had any brains in the first place back then I would of saw the signs before hand and not stood at the alter in the first place back then. Since I have not been (not because I don’t want to or that I haven’t found the right one till about a year and 1/2 ago but God saw to it that he have a second chance with his 3 children and reconcile with his ex. I can’t compete with God’s work nor ever questioned it. I have had a tough time of this break up and am still very much in love with him to this day. I just know that no one in this situation was in the wrong and I pray that they are all happy. But, for this man I think he has an addiction and needs to get some kind of counseling for it. It is an epidemic this texting etc. and no one has values anymore to sit face-to-face and talk it is sad. Good luck to this couple and hope that this at the alter was just a fluke and he makes amends to her for it. Even though it will be something he can never take back and she will as well all that witnessed it remember it in the back of their minds forever.

  34. Jessi says:

    Hello Dr Phil! How are you? I am a young women from Sweden. My mum loves you and she never misses your programs. You are really good at what you are doing and we in Sweden loves you ;) I hope to get an answer from you. Have a nice day Dr Phil. // Jessi and her mum

  35. Nancy Duckworth says:

    As for tweeting and texting, there is a new bumper sticker that says, Honk if you know Jesus, text if you want to meet him. How true this can be. As for tweeting during the marriage ceremony. ABSOLUTELY NOW WAY, NO HOW.

  36. Christine says:

    It takes all kinds I guess. Who did he forget to invite to the wedding that needed such and intimate and immediate update? If I had been the bride – I’d have pitched his blackberry instead of the bouquet.

  37. Christine says:

    Kinda of makes you wonder what the honeymoon was like. Lol!

  38. Kristen says:

    Every time I hear about twitter anything I honestly kind of shake my head. I signed up to see what all the hype was about and then deleted my account the same day. I heard on the radio Ashton Kutcher was trying to get the most fans. So we tweet for popularity? To obtain a feeling of self worth from complete strangers? Are people really so bored they need to “follow” others? Is their life that unfulfilling? I also have to ask myself who are these individuals who think that what they are doing is so important they have to fill the world in on it? I mean, no offense, I like the Dr. Phil show and find it entertaining and educational, but I don’t care what Dr. Phil is doing very hour of the day just as he doesn’t likely care what I am doing. I think if I were standing on the alter and my spouse to be felt it necessary to stop the ceremony to twitter, I’d be questioning his sanity and may be taking back my “I do.” If his “followers” suddenly are more improtant than the moment with me, what life am I headed for?

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