Mental Illness and Motherhood
Today’s show is one of the most controversial issues I think I’ve ever dealt with, and emotions ran high onstage and in the audience. A guest named Shelly agreed to be the surrogate for Amy and Scott Kehoe, carrying donor eggs and sperm. Although Shelly gave birth to twins, a few weeks later, she demanded that the babies be returned to her care. According to her, Amy withheld important information about her past, including a criminal record and having been diagnosed with a mental disorder.
Everyone who watches the show knows that I’m a child advocate, and I believe we should do everything in our power to protect our kids. But what would you have done in Shelly’s situation? Did she have a right to demand that the twins be returned? Should a mental illness prevent a woman from being a mother? I really want to hear from you about this one.
It was old year’s day when this show was on television in the Netherlands and I was basically shocked that this was possible. I thought of myself: “That is typical America.” I never heard any stories like this in the Netherlands. But here it’s not that easy of finding a surrogate I think. Never heard of it though. Because I missed the beginning of the show I searched for it on Internet and read up on it. My opinion is also that the surrogate was wrong for what she did. It is not her decision to make if Amy and Scott are fit to be parents. She took all the money and got all the help financially and kept the babies? That is wrong. Even if Amy and Scott are not the biological parents (with their seed and eggs) they made the decision to become parents by asking a surrogate to bearing their child(ren). You just can’t have the baby as a surrogate and then decide (for what reason ever) to keep the child. And the longer the children stay with the surrogate the bond with the children is there. Of course the children will bond with the woman and man they see as their parents. It is even more sad if the seed and eggs were from Amy and Scott. Than this was really sad for the children and for them because the children are growing up and raised by people who are not the biological parents. And for Amy and Scott because they are not in the lives of their biological children. So I wanted to say this and replied my comment on this story that hopefully ends well. Keep up the good work, Dr. Phil and thanks for making this (and all your other shows). Greetings from Holland!
Hi Dr Phil, I have been suffering from burn out. Can you tell me, what is the best way to recover from burnout. It has been building up over the last couple of year and I finally collapsed in February. I have not worked since and I am finding it a had and slow process. One of the effects that I have found hard is being able to go out in public and facing people.
Dear Dr. Phil,
I have a 7 year old who does not listen to me or her father or anyone. I tell her all the time that being bad gets you nothing but being good she will get things. She yells at us and when my husband her father says anything to her she hits him. That is when I start to yell at her and tell her she needs to stop hitting her dad and start to respect us. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to be one of those people who hits there kid but sometimes I wonder if that is all I am left with.
I tell her that I am going to write to you and she fears that you are going to send her somewhere. I try to keep Jesus in her life but she chooses the Devil instead. I wish that you can write to me and tell me what I am doing wrong. When she is good she is wonderful but when she is bad you can see hate in her eyes and I don’t know where it comes from. I am not a very well person and this is just making me worse. It breaks my heart that she is this way and I try over and over again to make it right but I am failing.
I have waited such a long time to have a child and think that this is a gift from God but what am I to do when she acts like this and I have to send her to her room and when I tell her to go to her room she says no and then I start to count and then she begs me not to make her go to her room because she don’t want to be alone. I count to 2 and she yells at me and says fine I’ll go and then storms off into her room. I get so angry that I want to go after her but I hold myself back. There has been a few times that I couldn’t hold myself back and that was the times she got spanked on her butt.
Please tell me what I can do to fix this before she gets to the point that your guest from yesterday got to that her daughter stabbed her. I made my daughter see it and she said I would never stab you but I don’t really know what she would do in a fit of anger. Please answer me if you can!
Thank You for your time and trouble.
Mrs. Kimberly Baker