Comments on: Read This at Your Leisure

By: Jamey Nesland

Jamey Nesland — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 17:42:30 +0000

Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

By: tish

tish — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 11:09:33 +0000

Dr Phil I just absolutely love your shows. You have been my mentor, watching, reading your books etc. I would however like to say that I absolutely agree with Dr J Robinson. we unfortunately in S Africa get your show late, by a few months, but I am a mother of 3 boys. There was a period when I stayed home to look after them when they were small, and I still had lots of time on my hands. I think if you are organised you can get things done. It took me an hour to clean the house mornings and Im fussy, and I let the kids ‘play’. I would then bath and dress them and they would ‘play’ again. yes they needed attention from time to time but when the kids are warm, dry, clean and fed, they were happy as pie. I loved to cook and bake and this I would do late afternoon before hubby returned from work. but for the better part I had lots of ‘free’ time in that I needed to be there, but not occupied all the time. I could read and also pursued hobbies. I took up floristry, interior decor, bookkeeping, cake baking and cake decorating while I was a young mother. at night i believed kids should be in bed by 8pm and that was a routine. and hubby and I were ‘free’. So I really think the women on the show overdo it or they are just not organised. Kids are also occupied with their toys ens, so I really think its an exageration on their part. In fact at one point I helped my husband in his office while pregnant with my 2nd child, and took my first born with me to the office. I found myself single when my youngest were 7yrs old, and started my own building company. I worked very hard, but were fortunate enough to be home when they got back from school. I thought it important for me to be there for them and I wanted to create a HOME not just a house for them to come back to. My business is successfull and I put them through university. they studied construction, law, & soc science. I look back and I have no regrets. It was worth it. Really Dr Phil, to women it should be 2nd nature. I love my boys. thankyou for a great show. regards, tish

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 28 May 2010 05:21:16 +0000

Hi – I am from Australia. Just watched the show today while having lunch. I am forty and have three kids – 4, 2 and half and 10 months old. My partner and I were together for 10 years before having kids – we worked very hard and we are glad we had all that time alone – we know what each other needs and wants are to a Tee!!! Having kids was a huge wake up call. I use to think Mothers were whingers – how hard can it be I would say!!! Yes well – I am so sorry for my past words. It is very hard raising kids and I feel I do not get enough ME time anymore – it is mentally exhausting, particularly dealing with young ones who know only their world and their needs. I am hoping I get more me time later on when they are older. My partner is away alot with work, but last wet season he was home for a few weeks and he went crazy in the mind having so much expose to the young kids. He asked me how I did it, but before I answered – he said You know what – you gave birth three times in just over three years, you have hardly had a decent night sleep in four years and you always get most things done (running the house, running two businesses, raising three kids – never used childcare or family to babysit) you have done it all and can do it all because there is nothing like a Mother Love for her Children!!! My partner never complains about anything in the house etc and he always gives me that look of understanding at the end of a bad day with the kids. He helps whenever he can or when I ask. We women can over dramatise things for sure, but having a good husband when raising kids sure does make it easier and the ME time – well I feel no one else will do the job as well as I can, so I guess my ME time is always savoured for when the kids are in bed and boy do I get them to bed early sometimes!!! Studies have their purposes, but I do not believe they are the best indicators of all things that we think we can measure!!! Just writing this e-mail I have been interrupted about 30 times, had two kids whinging for no reason at all etc, etc – where is this 30 to 40 hours of leisure time? Clearly our defintion of leisure time is very different Maryland Doctor!!!

By: barbaranne

barbaranne — Fri, 28 May 2010 03:39:27 +0000

I would be very interested in a ‘reverse study’ to see how many hours of ‘leisure time’ men have per week, especially as we know many men come home from work, and sit down and watch TV, while the woman still cooks tea, washes dishes, bathes younger children, helps older children with homework, all before putting them to bed.

Some men will also use the whole weekend, (or most of it), for ‘leisure time’, unlike many women, who are still home looking after children, doing laundry etc.

This would give us a better level of comparison than just throwing women in general under the bus. Let’s see some studies that fairly reflect BOTH sides of the story.

(As for leisure time, even when having my second child – and I now have four – I was still doing some hand drawn art work for my job while I was in labour. Would a man be as dedicated to his job as to keep doing his work while being prepared for an operation, for example – or is labour classified as ‘leisure time’ too?)

By: Lucia

Lucia — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 22:03:02 +0000

To all the moms who some or totally agreed with this research. And especially to the women who help this Doc. to do his research.
Nobody will probably read this but I just need to get my 2 cents out. This is how busy I am that I couldn’t even watch Dr. Phil at the moment it was aired.

Please divine for me what is WORK? (I am a mom with 4 kids)
Why is it ok to call it work when my sitter is watching tv or playing with my kids. And when I do that, it calls leisure. When you are working outside the house whatever your profession might be, there will be time that there is nothing to do and you will do something else beside your work like reading magazine. In that case you can come home and said you work the whole day. And when I am putting a chicken in the oven and waiting for the chicken to be done. It calls leisure. Well I create some leisure time for myself while working at home. I can be doing this somewhere else and get paid per hour and it will call work. What is this Doc. expect from Mom? We are not allowed to sit and relax? And other people at work get breaks and get paid during breaks. And that is ok. Leisure at your work is ok but not if you are a mom at home?
The Doc. just need some attention from. He knew that he can get a lot of attention with this subject. He succeed. Congratulation!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 03:32:43 +0000

I agree with this to a point. I know a lot of moms who do not utilize their time wizely. Whether or not it is guilt free time or not doesn’t matter; it is still time. Moms/women need to learn this. It is important for peopl in general to be able to recharge their batteries. Why shouldn’t moms be able to? There are a lot of dad out there that come home and sit. There work is done. My goodness, me and my grandmother go round and round about this. She believes that men have every right to come home and sit and relax, they worked all day. But so did the moms. And what about those stay at home moms. At least dad came home from work, mom still there until she goes to bed. Dad’s helped make a family they should be involved with them. Moms and Dads both need to recharge and need lone time.

Also, stop building your household around your kids. We have kids and we need to shape them into our lives not have our lives revolve around them. We need to look at what is important, what needs to be done and work around that. If something doesn’t get done don’t freak about it. It will be there tomorrow, believe me no one is going to do it. I have seen a lot of parents clean around their kids. Are you kidding me??? Get your kid to help. The family makes the mess, the family should clean the mess. This would save a lot of time picking up after things, mom sholdn’t have to do this all the time.

By: chris

chris — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 23:32:14 +0000

i watch that leisure time episode and i do agree with the man that wrote book about it the truth is this. women do have a a lot leisure time and they know it they make too many excuses and they hide a lot behind the kids ,work,friend, televison, cell phone, getting hair done and so fort. woman biggest problem is denial they live in denial and excuses. for instance it don’t take one hour put on a dress or it does one hour to wash dishes truth hurts ( excuses excuses excuses ).
.

By: chris

chris — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 23:22:21 +0000

i watch that leisure time episode and i do agree with the man that wrote book about it the truth is this women do have a a lot leisure time and they know it they make too many excuses and they hide a lot behind the kids are what ever they do and woman biggest problem is denial they live in denial.
women biggest problem is denial and excuses.

By: Candie

Candie — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 15:52:04 +0000

My SIL is a mother of 6 children (ages 9 yrs, 7yrs, 6yrs, 4 yrs, and twins that are 2yrs). She homeschools them, travels with my brother (her husband) to raise support so they can be missionaries in Brazil, and tries to keep on top of their home when they are there. I have been there several times and she does not have 30 hours of leisure time any week of the year. I have watched these 6 kids for 2 weeks straight by myself and I did not have 30 hours of leisure time (unless I wanted to lose sleep to do something I enjoyed like watch TV or read). Nap time is the only down time and even then she is cleaning up or preparing the next meal.

I’m a FT nanny and have worked a 90 hr week before. I know there was not 30 hrs of leisure time then either.

By: Laura Irwin

Laura Irwin — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 23:30:13 +0000

Who cares what this John Robinson says- he has no practical epxerience as a mom and he doesn’t even know the dictionary definition of “leisure”- time free from work or duties, ease, relaxation, rest, convenience. I saw this show and he seems like an old fart whose getting up there in age and wants his day in the spotlight/recognition for one of his studies. He’s like a little kid who wants any attention, even negative. And now we’re all giving him attention for doing something negative. Dr.Phil, REALLY??? Why did you even invite him on the show or base a show off him- you need attention too? I hope you checked to see if his study is even valid. Didn’t he say it was based on self-report from participants- how were the participants selected, etc. That’s so subjective. Yes. I’m a psych graduate, feminist, and stay-at-home mom so I’m his worst nightmare. His study is whack and he makes me want to be a French major so I can call him a few choice words and pardon my French. I’ll be sure to log this time in as leisure time because I actually enjoyed bitching another clueless man as if there isn’t enough women out there being tortured by men that they don’t do enough at home. Why doesn’t he conduct a study about how much free time man gets at work. I used to be a career woman and people waste so much time on personal and leisurely activities at work and they get paid. Moms don’t get paid so what’s the point of this study?