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February 23rd, 2010 by Dr. Phil

Mental Illness and Motherhood, Part 2

pregnancy21Imagine that you and your husband are unable to conceive, so you seek out a surrogate who agrees to carry donor eggs and sperm for you. You set up a nursery and fill it with a crib, blankets and baby clothes. Then the surrogate mother delivers beautiful twins — a son and a daughter. Now imagine one month later, getting a knock on your door and finding out that the babies you thought belonged to you have to be surrendered to the surrogate.

That’s what intended parents Scott and Amy Kehoe say happened to them when their surrogate Shelly Baker reclaimed the twins she carried for them after she says she learned that Amy has a mental illness. After Shelly’s appearance on the show, the blog and the message boards were buzzing! I know, because I read your comments. Many of you felt that Shelly’s decision was just wrong and selfish, while others believed that the surrogate mom did the right thing by allegedly protecting the kids. 

Reader Wendy says: “Dr. Phil, I was so appalled to hear someone state that a women with a mental illness was being shunned from having her twin babies just because of mental illness and so THANKFUL for your views on this situation. I am a mother with Bipolar and in NO way does this make me unfit to parent my child. I pray that something will/can be done so that Amy and Scott can have their babies.”

Gail, who sides with Shelly, says, “The children should stay in the mentally stable home! Since they are not biologically linked to either. Medication does not always work and the severe symptoms come and go leaving the children to feel heartbroken and unsafe.”

Shelly returns to the show to face her critics and to defend what she believes was a tough but ethical decision. Let me tell you, things got pretty heated in the studio. We had some very outspoken audience members who feel that having a mental illness should not preclude a woman from being a mother. 

Tune in, and let me know if you think Shelly gets a wake-up call about her choice to reclaim the twins. What would you have done in her situation?

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507 Responses to “Mental Illness and Motherhood, Part 2”

  1. Eileen says:

    I am astounded that Shelly would not even consider your offers to do a thorough examination to make sure the Kehoes were fit parents and the children would have a stable enviroment to be riased in. I think that the reason SHelly would not and did not even take the time to consider the offer is that she wanted twins. I really wonder if this were a single baby and not a single boy baby if she would have been so quick to judge. I really think there are some underlying inssues here and she shold be examined before being allowed to ever participate as a suragate again. Also I think Shelly and her husband should have to reimburse the Kehoes for there expenses. They shoukld not get a free ride.

  2. 3/2/2010

    “Also I think Shelly and her husband should have to reimburse the Kehoes for there expenses. They should not get a free ride.”

    I think that Shelly should also be required to also pay significant monetary damages to the Kehoes for the trauma she caused them.

    haroldb

  3. Shelly did not take your offer because she has no intention of giving the twins up, and is afraid that Amy will be found “fit” to keep the babies, she intended to keep the boys from the begining

  4. Karen says:

    Shelly and her husband are the most selfish couple in the world. She mentioned that she cried for the couple. Do you believe that? I did not see even a drop of tear from her during the show. Seriously, i am really worry about the babies now. Will she treat the babies like her own? I doubt it! Like other said,Shelly should compensate the couple for everything she put them through. What a tragedy!!!

  5. Karen says:

    During the show, Shelly mentioned that her son has mental illness. I guess her son get the disease from her then.

  6. Tanya says:

    Im a proud Mom of Two Beautiful girls, A Birthmom and a Surrogate who lives in South Africa. What makes me angry about this, is that Surrogates just get a bad name from woman like this. I gave birth to my IP’s Beautifull little girl last October and It was an amazing experiance to see how happy she made them. Shelly Baker has no right to these babies they were never hers to begin with and its not up to her to decide if their real mother is fit to raise the babies she should let the state decide.

    I know that for a couple to decide that they going to use a surrogate is a hard journey that has taken an enormous amount of strength to be able to accept that this is your only way to have a child. Then the journey of the pregnacy is hard watching another woman carry your child. When the whole time you want to be the one who is pregnant. and then for your surrogate to do this to you is unacceptable.
    The sad thing is that the ones who will really suffer are the babies. My heart goes out to Scott and Amy Kehoe on this horrible rollercoaster. I pray that it is sorted soon.

  7. Codie Long says:

    Shelley and what she has chosen to do makes me furious, I think about it often. I am a 31 year old single mother of a 2 year old beautiful daughter both I and the father of our child are mentally ill. I have schizo-effective disorder. When I first told my family that I was pregnant they all wanted me to terminate, afraid that I would not be able to stop my medications during pregnancy nor be a capable mother after birth. But I have shocked them all. Shelley has no place to decide whether this other couple is capable of raising these children espically since they did get references and a positive house study done. Shelley can try to justify herself all she wants but to me it makes her look more selfish, cunning and wrong in the end.

  8. Tsukihime says:

    When I saw the show, I did not get as angry as I did during the first show but I haven’t changed my mind. I do not think they should have kept the babies and using the other couples “Mental Illness” is just an excuse. She will come up with ANY excuse to justify keeping those babies but to use mental illness makes the stereotype against it even stronger. She set us back in the eyes of society, she is just as prejudiced against mental illness as many people are and it’s not right, we deserve equal rights just like everyone else.

  9. Sharon says:

    I am a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. They are grown up now but raising them was an amazing experience I will always hold close to my heart.
    I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Although raising my girls with these disorders was a lot of work, I did do it. I wasn’t even diagnosed with the Bipolar till my youngest child was around 14 yrs. old.
    I know in my heart, that although I struggle with this mental illness, it didn’t make me a bad mom. The love you have for your children is enough to pull you through anything. No matter if it is a mental illness or something else.
    Mental illness is something that people judge who do not know anything about it. The majority of people hear “mental illness” and assume we are all sick people who are not normal. That is so untrue.
    Bipolar Disorder has made me a compassionate person and makes me appreciate my life so much more. Having to work at my life (which I think all people have to do – mental illness or not). Yes, I do struggle. Yes, I do have bouts of mania and depression. I believe, with help from my medications and therapy, I am making progress. and also it says through the work I do around my mental illness, is that getting better, getting healthier mentally is what I can do to make it better. It is hard work, no doubt, but it makes me no less of a person, or less of a mom or grandmother.
    The loss of my children due to my mental illness, would have been a horrible thing to happen. It would have hindered my healing process.
    The people, who so desperately wanted to be parents but couldn’t on their own, trusted in this woman to do what she was supposed to do. She failed them. For whatever her “real” reasons for backing out on the deal, it was soooo wrong.
    The people who wanted this child and waited on the surrogate to have the babies, had to go through a process themselves to even be approved for this service. They passed all testing and should be allowed those children back.
    If people want to learn more about mental illness, then they need to research and learn all they can before making judgement calls on others.

  10. Marjorie Nielsen says:

    I have never felt so strongly to respond to a show until I saw the surrogate mom that kept the twins. If Shelly feels that she is responsible for the children she is bringing into the world then she may need to follow those children for life to ensure they remain in a stable environment. There are no guarantees that the people that she has been a surrogate for will remain mentally healthy. My adult son suffered a brain injury due to a car accident which has left him with short term memory loss, anxiety and difficulty controlling his temper. Because of his poor memory he once forgot his infant son in the car – thank goodness only for a brief time. Through therapy and a wonderful, supportive wife, he has learned coping skills and manages very well and is an excellent father. Would Shelly expect these twins be removed from her should she or her husband develop a mental illness? Unbiased experts should decide if this woman is capable of being a good mother – not someone who has no knowledge or expertise in mental illness.

  11. Joy says:

    I feel so sorry for Amy and Scott. Dr. Phil was dead on when he said that it would be millions of children we as a society would need to remove from homes of mentally ill parents. Amy has a mental condition that is under control and she has done everything she needs to do to make sure that it stays that way. I do not have a mental illness, but I do have other physical illnesses. Does that mean I am not able to be a good mother to my daughter? NO! She is a well adjusted little girl whom I adore with every fiber of my being. I think that if Shelly is not willing to give the babies to Scott and Amy, she needs to at least give them back all of the money that they shelled out to her while she was pregnant with their babies! It sounds to me like Shelly took complete advantage of Scott and Amy. I agree that Scott and Amy should provide the needed things like maternity clothing and prenatal care bills, but Shelly took it even further by demanding the above and beyond things like specialty drinks in the middle of the night! Dr Phil offered Shelly the chance to have a specialist that she felt confident about evaluate Amy. He offered Shelly the chance to go about this situation in an honest, legal way and Shelly declined the offer. I believe that Shelly had this all planned out from the begining. Shelly had a comfortable pregnancy filled with the added frills and then she keeps the babies too! Shelly needs to be responsible and return the money that was spent by Amy and Scott. They spent that money with the agreement of receiving the babies in the end. No babies means no money. So Shelly knows what needs to be done. I speak from experience because I had a friend that offered to be my gestational carrier and it resulted in my daughter being born six years ago. My experience started with honesty and a friendship and ended with my beautiful daughter and a friendship that I have never experienced and will always last. I wish the best for Amy and Scott. I pray that the babies can have as normal of a life as possible and that Shelly and her husband search themselves and do the right thing.

  12. Kate Bettison says:

    I don’t have anything to add to this story, except to say it is personally so heartwarming to read the comments here and the support of people with mental illness. I have major depression, OCD and anxiety (all well controlled), but unfortunately can’t have children naturally or with IVF. We have had people say to us that perhaps its because we shouldn’t be parents – they don’t say it openly but they are referring to my illnesses.

    I have tears in my eyes that there are so many people out there that get it. It’s fantastic. Thank you!!

  13. Wendy Thibault says:

    I am finally happy that I have my computer fixed because there has never been a more pertinent subject than this. I know first hand what it is like to be judged my medical conditions. Because of many medical problems, me and my husband were unable to have the many children that we wanted. When we looked into adoption, we were told that our chances of being able to adopt was slim to none. The reaseon that was given was they could not place a child in a home where one of the parents had multiply medical issues. It did not matter them that the child would be loved and cared for to the fillest extent possible. All they saw was the medical issues and that was all. We looked into being foster parents, because there are so many in need of a loving home, yet again we were turned down because of medical issues. So for one person, who has been hired to give a couple the ultimate give, to take the child(ren) because of something that she knows so little about is absurd. She truly was not wanting to give the most precious of gifts by her attitude, not only on the show, but also in the way that she treated the rightful parents of these precious little children. It is because of people like her that the parents that have all the love in the love in world, do not get the chance to shower a child with love. Me and my family missed out on being to expand our family because of this kind of thinking. Our hopes of having more children in our home was squashed by people of the same kind of thinking. It does a tremendous disservice to the many children that are now in foster care, where there only hope is to have a family that wants and will love them unconditionally. Shame on this surrogate and all the other people that think like her.

  14. Cydnee222 says:

    First off, I am appalled at Dr. Phil’s lack of professionalism and just plain visciousness during this show. My blood is boiling — I can’t come up with enough adjectives to describe your descpicable behavior, Dr. Phil. I have been a loyal viewer, tape the shows, and try to watch as many as I can. And after this show, my respect for you has nearly evaporated.
    The fact that you trotted out person after person — which most were completely different situations than the one at hand — to confront Shelly, and then hardly gave her a chance to respond, along with allowing your audience to disrespect her and her husband with catcalls and outbursts is just sickening.
    Thank goodness you at least allowed Lisa Bloom to sit up there and help defend them. For their part, Shelly and her husband sat up there and were basically crucified and were very composed and respectful — I would have been coming out of my chair at you had I been up there.
    Regardless of how people feel about the situation, your behavior, Dr. Phil, was reprehensible!
    And yes, I agree — as did Shelly — that she and her husband made mistakes during the process and would have done things differently if they could go back — to which she agreed. It was not the way to go about doing the surrogacy, everyone agrees.
    But then to ambush her by saying you would provide the “resources” for them to revisit the situation made my stomach turn. For gosh sakes, she didn’t even have an attorney there to advise her. How shameful of you to put her on the spot on national TV like that.
    Even if you vehementaly disagree with your guests — as was more than evident in these two shows — you owe them the same respect as other guests who are brave enough to put their stuff out there for everyone to judge.
    Bottom line is your behavior was disgusting, Dr. Phil.
    Al least those babies have parents that are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in their gut. I wish them the best and I hope they can move past all the mean-spirited debate that you’ve stirred up.
    And I’ll be changing my recording options for your show to “cancel season pass.”

  15. MB says:

    All emtion and personal opinions aside, Shelly entered into an agreement with Scott and Amy, took their money, then walked away with their children. I have two children through surrogacy and I can tell you from experience that at the end of your journey together you and your surrogate may not always see eye to eye on lots of things. It’s a tough emotional roller coaster but that is one of the reasons you have a contract. I am very sorry to hear that there are still states that do not recognize that contract. Those of us who have been involved in surrogacy do not want to see a lot of government intervention but clearly something needs to be done to protect Intended Parents and surrogates from individuals arbitrarily acting on emotion and opinion. I’ve been searching the internet to see if there is any more news our there on this case but so far I haven’t seen any. I assume the babies are still with Shelley.

  16. I may be in the minority, because I am an adult child of a narcisstic mother and I believe the mentally ill should never be allowed to become parents. Hey, if somebody gets away with murder because of “mental illness” is it really ok for them to have access to a child (course if you look into it most of those who are murdered they’re us..Ha Ha how ironic)? How bout I get really sarcastic and say “Hey Dr. Phil why don’t you just hand one of them your granddaughter, you know the one your so awe struck by.” Just a thought… Something I strongly feel that people like you don’t give to people like me. Thanks… I find this subject extremely upsetting simply because most of these people including your mentally ill friends haven’t got a clue what their talking about. Unfortunately I do know and I wish to God I never did. Better never to come into being that to be the child with a mentally ill parent. And guess what…if we’re not here nobody needs to concern themselves with “there’s so many we have nowhere for them to go.” Wow, I’d love to see that become a thing of the past! Now wouldn’t that be something.

  17. I would like to dedicate a song to the family from the Gray Sisters Gospel Group from Decatur Alabama cd. Please visit their website on google or utube or my space at:graysisterssingers.com. 1st lady shirley gray sings this song ‘ HOW MUCH DO I OWE HIM”

  18. Jill Jere says:

    After watching what I believe in the first show, I am so saddened. I do believe that they both ment well, but in the end, the surrogate family has children that they never intended to have, and Scott and Amy were left without their family they were so expecting to raise. Shelley made a decision on children that were never hers to begin with. She should not have an rights to the children. She was the surrogate, no blood relation. Unfortunate that state sees differently. If the ‘mother’ was in fact unfit, then the state should get custody of the babies. As a country, our laws concerning surrogates must be set in stone. Someone can not come back and decide to take children as in this situation.

    I hope someone who is able to be a surrogate steps forward and is able to help Scott and Amy become parents!

  19. Cecilie says:

    I was shocked when I heard that the surrogate mother and her husband took the babies back. After seeing the whole show I was left with the impression that they planned to keep the babies even before they were born. If they did not intend to do so, why were the babies given their own surname at the hospital?!I hope the kehoe family get their babies back! As Dr Phil says, the Baker family are not the ones to evaluate the mental health of the Kehoe family. As I see the family has done all they can to get this right. Unfortunately they were mislead by the Baker family. Their advices lead to the babies being taken away from them. This is a tragedy!

  20. I am shocked and saddened that so many people have such a thoughtless attitude toward the children of the mentally ill. It is chilling to think that so many people with absolutly no information about us are giving their opinion on us and our lives. It is us and not you who will and have been affected by these mentally ill people. We are human-beings not the local shrinks lab rat, not the mentally ill persons live-in 5, 10, 15, 60 year old caretaker who has been raised to do their bidding. Most of us are not told by the medical profession that our parent is mentally ill. Like me, many have had to discover this on their own. This is a life of assaults, lies, deception, and secrets. I wonder when we will be able to come out of the dark ages and be able to see a bit of daylight? I’m not saying that mentally ill people don’t count or that psychiatrists can”t or shouldn’t be obsessed by them. What I am saying is that may-be someone should ask the children of the mentally ill what they think. After all, we are the ones who have unique knowledge and truth about these people, we are the ones who have been there and know exactley how nightmarish it gets. I never would have thought that I would one day be writing this, I would never have dreamt that people would actually support child abuse.

  21. Ange says:

    Wow, I feel sorry for Sharon (Poster) who seemingly experienced a terribly traumatic and hell filled upbringing at the hand of a mentally ill parent. But not everyone who is raised by a mentally ill parent has had your experience or upbringing. Some of us have had beautiful lives and our experiences with mentally ill parents have made us stronger and unlike you, less critical and judgmental of those who suffer from such. I also know where you are coming from in a way, because I know the world is a bad place and parents hurt their children but it is NOT limited to the mentally ill. Some parents have shocked the world because they were ordinary, law abiding, church going parents that, for what ever reason, lost the plot and hurt their children. It was obvious by the footage and by Shelly’s reactions that she had no intention of handing the children over. They are not her’s either and if she isn’t handing them over than she should pay back every last cent to the Kehoes.

  22. patty says:

    the children should be given back to their true parents what gives this women the right to keep these babies how dare she. and as for those crocodile tears she displayed what a joke its the same as kidnapping.who does she think she is god .im disgusted.

  23. patty says:

    i think that these babies should be with their true parents.what makes this couple think that they have the right to keep these beautiful kids iknow that she carried them for nine months what it boils down to is that they are not hers. scott and amy seem like a very responsable couple and all they want to do is to love and raise their own flesh and blood no one should be able to take that from them.have a heart give them back they are not yours .

  24. Jacqui says:

    This debate has really got me in. I’ve only been able to see the first show but have read about what was said in the second show. Shelley and her husband may legally be able to keep the children but this is not the moral thing to do. Shelley says that its not the mental illness that is the issue but that Amy and Scott did not disclose it. Amy says she did. OK, even if Amy did not disclose it, so what? Shelley should have asked for a psychiatric evaluation once she first had concerns rather than wrestling the babies away from their parents. She didn’t disclose it but it turns out that this is not a major issue in terms of their competency. No, this is just an excuse. And to also turn around and say that they will not reimburse Amy and Scott for all the money they spent on them is just criminal. This act reflects their true nature. If Shelly spends all that time crying for Amy then why doesn’t she give her back the money so they can try with another surrogate. I think Shelley’s comments in that unguarded moment when she talks about how Amy and Scott paid for everything and then now they get to keep the babies and it didn’t cost them anything and now “isn’t it a hoot!” also shows her extremely bad character. Its just wrong. Legal, maybe but wrong morally. Unfortunately though I don’t think this is going to have a happy ending for Amy and Scott. I only hope that they will be blessed with another opportunity with another surrogate and that they will get their baby. It will never compensate them for the loss of their twins but will help with the healing.

  25. Nicole Lisle says:

    I live in Australia and seen the episode today about Amy and Scott and was so disheartened that Shelly made comments directly using the mental illlness as a reason for her no giving the babies to Amy. As a mental health worker myself I was sad but also upset that like you had mentioned that comments and assumptions like those could set back the progress being made in the change of public opinions around mental health. For women who have babies naturally we are not judged as to whether we have a mental illness, drug addictions or a criminal record so why should Shelly have to right to make this decision. I am a single mum of a 3yo and there are times I’ve been depressed, run down, and needed me time, does that mean I dont get to raise me son……NO IT DOESNT……. I hope Amy and Scott fight for those little kids and an agreement can be arranged to suit all parties!
    Nicole

  26. Rachel says:

    I am a mother with a mental health issue – It is headerity for me. When I had my daughter I was a little depression which turned into the worst depression I ever had – I was hospitalized. My daughter has been such a ray of hope and joy to me since she was born – she kept and keeps me going. I am on regular medication and I can’t think of anything else I would rather be doing than raising my daughter!

  27. Ana Andonova says:

    Shelley intended to keep the babies from the beginning… She just had to make up an excuse… she needs to pay back Amy and Scott for all the money they gave her, how could she be so heartless… She took their money and their babies… She mentioned she attends church but what’s the point when she doesn’t practise what she preaches!!

  28. Again the issue is lost. I’ve read many comments of who should get whom… thank God for the legal system, two innocent little babies got lucky. The mentally ill simply are not capable of raising children, they lack the mental and or emotional capasity, insite whatever you would like to call it… to care for them properly. And I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m looking for understanding and hoping that people are now willing to see the other side of the “pancake”. I agree the mentally ill have issues, when behavior gets weird, dangerous or someone is killed people do tend to notice and become afraid of what they don’t understand. Trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense is very frightening. Childern of the mentally ill live in this place, we were born here, many of us have been abandened here by the other parent and extended family…they sometimes want to put a great distance between themselves and the mental illness. Ours can be a very lonely world, we are most often left to deal with the mental illness on our own (age 1,2,3,4, you get it right?). Children, babies dealing with issues that psychiatrists have problems dealing with (and everybody else want nothing to do with)! It’s easy to say she should keep them, she should give them back. Living it is a completely different story. I don’t know…maybe your not ready to hear about us yet. But I will say this; In my search to discover what it was I was dealing with I came across a web site from Australia, the only one I could find at the time. I began reading the forum, reading about people like me (and yes we do have very simular experiances. I have yet to read about someone enjoying them though). I felt disappointed that the USA, Canada,United Kingdom, none of them had any information, no web site where we could go and read or speak with others. More recently I have discover that I am only one voice in a choir, more sites are popping up all the time. In England I read, they did a study and have dicovered that psychiatrists never reported that the mentally ill even had children and surprise… they were having double the national average. When a mentally ill person has a child they only bring the child into the illness, the child speaks only with the mental illness; there is no mom/dad there. This needs to stop!

  29. zena says:

    honestly, why is everyone treating those kids like puppies? i can see dr. phil’s point in sticking for mentally challenged moms, but what about the kids?
    truth isn’t always as pretty as theories,and i know what having a mentally challenged mom means, it can turn very bad: not all women take meds, not all of them are controlled,and they can be harmful without even meaning to. and if these weren’t surrogates nobody would take them away, i think the problem is surrogacy in itself. i think that amy can’t have children on her own for a good reason, and that she should consider adopting instead.

  30. zena says:

    plus shelly did what she thought was right and it wasn’t fair to crucify her just because u had a bigger point to prove.

  31. Jill Simzer says:

    Hey,Dr.Phil
    I Think that Tony should move out for just a little bit Until Alexerder get her kids Back
    and he could move back in Because Cf stop investion As long in the house she won’t get her kids back.,Because I Just loss my Husband in the last 3 month. Mrs.Jill Simzer

  32. sherry dochy says:

    I really think it depends on the severity of the mental illness. If the surrogate couldn’t tell the “mother” was even ill, then I think she should do more homework if she ever tries to do this again. (I hope she doesn’t) I’m not sure the only reason she took the babies is because of the reason she gave. Some people can’t give up the babies. I know I couldn’t even though I would love to give someone the incredible gift of a child. I admire those who can.

  33. CRYSTAL SIZEMORE says:

    I HAVE BI POLAR DISORDER. I HAVE NOT TAKEN MY MEDS SINCE APRIL OF 2009. I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE THAT I CAN BE A GOOD MOTHER! I DO NOT THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE ALOUD TO HOLD THAT AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT HAVE BI POLAR DISORDER THAT DO JUST FINE WITH THIER CHILDREN! AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THAT THEY HAVE THIS DISORDER UNTIL SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IN THIER LIVES. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS A RIGHT TO KEEP THOSE CHILDREN THEY ARE NOT HERS!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Jessica says:

    Circumstances like this, keep unhealthy mothers, unhealthy. I know that I have problems with depression and rage at the very least. For the fear of losing my children and job, I do nothing about it. I know that I would be better if I had some sort of counseling and possibly medication. I realized I had emotional problems as a young teen. I feel like my marriage and family life is suffering, but since there are people out there who would use it against me, I suffer (as well as my children) in silence.

  35. Jami says:

    I have been diagnosed with a chronic mental illness since the age of 14. I have a daughter. I do not think my child should be taken away from me because I am mentally ill, especially when I do what I’m supposed to do to control my illness. I go to therapy, I take my medication and I’m very proactive in my own treatment. If someone were to take my child from me, I’m not at all sure I would care anymore.

  36. Renee says:

    This is complete bull crap! Those babies are not the surrogate’s! Is there anyway they can take this to the White House or Congress?
    There has to be something that we can do to help Amy and Scott get their kids back!

  37. Nadine says:

    I totally agree that the babies belong to their biological parents. I really question the mental stability of the surrogate family. I think she is just using the mental health issue as an excuse to keep the babies. This is a huge injustice to the babies and their parents. The surrogate mother should be ashamed of herself!!!

  38. Caroline Lawry says:

    I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, nonspecific psychosis and dissociative identity disorder. With the correct medication and therapy, my depression, anxiety and hallucinations are in remission. My dissociative identity disorder has been resolved, so that no longer applies. Although I am now too old to have children, I see no reason why I would not be capable of raising a child. I am a responsible adult. Diabetics, people with hypertension and cardiac disease are on medication that manages their conditions. Why is mental illness considered a different story? People who smoke put their children at greater risk, in my opinion, than a person with mental illness managed on medication. How dare an untrained person try to assess a person just because she/he has a mental illness? I’m with you, Dr. Phil. An expert on adoption evaluated the family and found them to be fit. I think this was a particularly insidious form of discrimination. Thanks for standing up for us.

  39. Natalie says:

    I’m usually not one to really care when i see stories on tv, but as I am watching this story, I am absolutely ASTOUNDED of the nerve of Shelly. I cannot believe how mad this has made me. Clearly the biological mother is fit for children and it is rude and insulting for anyone to hear that Shelly is going to discriminate like this. I wish i could talk to Shelly because she needs to know what she is donig to Amy. Just when i hear Shelly get talk i get furious. I wish they knew how wrong they are. I ofcoarse applaud the courage they have to be surrogates i couldnt even imagine, but this is outstanding. It is 100% clear that Shelly and her husband just decided they wanted to keep the babies last minute, which is rude, selfish, and unchristian. I really hope they read all these comments they deserve it.

  40. Priscilla says:

    Shelly bonded with those children before she decided not to give them to the rightful parents. Those were not Shelly eggs and not her husbands sperm, they were the Kehoes! The perfect out for her in this situation was that she knew the law in Michigan. And decided to keep that couples babies for herself! When those children grow up and find out the truth to what Shelly and her husband did they will regret what they did. I cant believe that they signed their names on the birth certificate with this issue still unresolved. They knew what they were doing. The Kehoes never had a chance. I wish they could take it to the Supreme Court.

  41. densley says:

    Are the surrogates paying the Kehoes back (medical bills, maternity clothes, housekeeper, daycare)? That would show a lot about their character and possibly enable the Kehoes to find another surrogate.

  42. gisel says:

    I really don’t care about blogs but this is outrgaous….Thoes babies are not biologically Shelly’s and her husband so them keeping these kids are imorally wrong. She has no right and is not educated to determine who is ‘fit’ as a mother she entered into a contract and used these people to pay for her pregency needs. She is no true Christian and will pay later when these children grow up and see what she did to their true parents. Shelly clearly had no intend to give up these children and she is a dispicable woman, if you ask me Shelly seem to be the one with the mental issues, who does she think she is fooling with thoes false tears. I am sad to say Amy and her husband may not legally get their children back unless a higher court decides to step and properly evaluate the case. I do not have kids but do feel for them and wish them all the luck in the in just situation.

  43. AJ says:

    Shelly and Paul came on this program to show the public that they are not monsters and in turn, displayed themselves as such. These two are despicable human beings and should be ashamed to call themselves Christians. Amy and Scott deserve those babies.

  44. Alexandria says:

    I was devastated for the Kehoes, seeing this.

    I just had a relative who conceived a biological child, through a surrogate. Before that, they endured a decade of medical procedures, tens of miscarriages (one life threatening to the mother), and a failed adoption. {Not all bad – was able to adopt 2 newborns in between}. However, they so desparately wanted a biological child, after almost losing her life in another futile attempt at pregnancy, they settled on a surrogate. One who, thankfully fulfilled her obligation.

    I can not imagine what something like this could have done to them emotionally, after all they have been through. Shelly & Paul don’t seem to comprehend the dreams they are crushing. People don’t hire surrogates, lightly. I would suppose most people suffer a lot of loss, heartache, and desparation to even get to that point.

  45. Nikki says:

    How dare the surrogate take those babies. Blood is thicker than water and she has no right. Kidnapper was a good word!! I hope public outcry for those babies will force them to give them back to their real parents. People like that disgust me. You can tell it in her eyes that she was never giving them up! Please people that live in her state make noise for the real parents!!

  46. Mary Calder says:

    I am absolutely outraged. I did not see the original shows on this matter and was only able to watch part of the latest broadcast — but that was enough for me — The surrogates are despicable — those babies are not theirs and should be given back to the rightful parents. I gather from previous comments that the surrogates not only are keeping the babies but also kept the money given to them by the Kehoes during the course of the pregnancy. What is wrong with the state of Michigan — this is insanity. I hope people in Michigan are as outraged as so many of us are and that they demand that the state of Michigan rectify this heartbreaking injustice — I will pray for the Kehoes.

  47. Dallas says:

    Well I am a little late to this discussion, but better late than never. I have a comment towards both Sharon and others. I am mentally ill. I grew up with a mentally ill parent. I have a mentally ill child. I am now aware that mental illness is hereditary. Does that mean that I am glad I had a child? Should my mom have not had had me? Her mom her? Thank the god that you all pray to that my ancestors had the courage to continue on the family. I love my daughter as much as one can love a child. My mom loves me that much too. I may not have had the best of all situations. We may not see eye to eye on all things, but I love my mom and she loves me. I love my daughter and she loves me. I also have three children who thank God dont have the extra struggles of mental illness. My children are the love of my life and I would not want to exist with out knowing them or my mom. They make the world a better place for just being born into it. Mental illness doesnt make us bad parents/children. It makes us stronger humans who can use our weaknesses to help others. It makes us better humans because we dont judge others on their weaknesses but their strenghts. Were not perfect, just striving to be better, stronger, happier humans. If the world had to wait for perfect parents, Adam and Eve wouldnt have been allowed to procreate.

  48. Ash Heremaia says:

    I am a mother of four beautiful children so I will never know the agony a woman who yearns to bear a child will go through within herself and about herself as the Kehoes have suffered. I commend Scott Kehoe for his devotion towards his wife and the trials they are both enduring because of some minor discrepencies with what was or was not disclosed prior to the surrogacy agreement. Here in New Zealand the television viewing of this topic was somewhat delayed (an understatement) but I was impelled anyway, no matter how late :D to have my say.

    Sincerity is what I believe I, and I’m sure most others, can identify and even though I could not see the emotional turmoil by way of expressions or otherwise by Amy Kehoe, I could feel in her voice that her heart was genuinely broken. On the other hand, the lady called Shelly did not at all impress me with the few tears she shed in order to continue an unfair game. I was also expecting the answer Shelly gave to your final question concerning an opportunity to make THE particular resources available of firsthand assessments concerning Amy Kehoes eligibility to BE a mother. The answer she gave makes all her concerns void.

    I hope that my outlook on this situation does not appear to be judgemental, I only hope that I have stated what I saw as a matter of fact. The beautiful children involved in this predicament will certainly be loved by both parties but only to the detriment of an agreement, illegal or not, that was denied.

    Good luck to Amy and Scott.

  49. Heeni Maru says:

    Unfortunatly there is a lesson here people…. Trust no one!!! When they say no it’s ok we don’t need that…. Get it done!!!! when they say trust us we’ve done it before…. Get it done!!!! when they don’t want anything from it tell them bill me after the fact!!!! I live in New Zealand I am of Maori descent, we have a tradition of what we call whangai (raise families children) without leagalities. Recently a family member approached me and asked if I would like to adopt her baby because of reasons.. The moral of my story is, this person is no stranger to me and I love her dearly but when it comes to the this child I will do right by her/him. So that he/she will not be faught over!! Just LOVED. Do it right the first time so you don’t have those problems further down the road, because the only ones hurt will be the babies!!! Our future!!! We are the adults, their protectors, their life support. Kia kaha (be strong) E tu (stand tall) Rangimarie (sharethe love).

  50. Catherine says:

    My mother has a strong mental illness that makes her believe people are talking bad about her because of some “voices” inside her head telling her they are. It is so bad she has tried to commit suicide multiple times in the past before my brother(16) and I(14) were born. But, when she gave birth to us, she changed for us. She is like any other caring mother now. I believe we helped her defeat if not part, most of her illness and I believe the twins can help Amy too. So what makes Shelly think that because Amy has a mental illness, she can’t change and become a better person for the children?

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