Comments on: Teens under Pressure http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/ Dr. Phil- Start A Change Reaction Sun, 19 May 2013 02:33:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Pam Michailakis http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-3/#comment-136633 Pam Michailakis Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:20:42 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-136633 This isn't about me. I did get teased in school and it did hurt, but I never felt hopeless. I wrote the second part of the poem for my granddaughter when she told me about an incident at school. My granddaughter is my world!!! I wanted to nip it in the bud so to speak. I watch all of your shows and think that you and Robyn are amazing!!! Not amazing celebrities, amazing people!! Y'all are kind, loving, caring and most of all awesome parents and grandparents. I wanted to share this with y'all because I want to help. I put my poem on my facebook but if you wouldn't mind, would you put it on yours? It would be much appreciated, Yaya Pam IF YOU'RE BEING BULLIED PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!! Dear Bully, I'm the one you use to bully every day, you made me hate going to school, but I had to go anyway!  Sometimes to avoid you I would try and go to in late, but standing outside our classroom door you would always wait! I never understood why you bullied me? I had to wear my glasses or I couldn't see. I always came to school and did what I had to do, I couldn"t help it if I wasn"t as pretty as you...... I often wondered,  if bullies didn't exist, would I have gone to college and been on the dean's list? Would I have I have been invited to the prom, and just like all the rest, gone shopping with my mom looking for that special dress? Would my father have walked me down the aisle on my wedding day? And by now would I have a precious baby on the way? I will never know what living is all about, because I chose what I THOUGHT was my only way out...... The very second I did it I regretted what I'd done, what was I thinking? Now YOU had won!!!!! I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay, if I could have a do over, this is what I'd say..........   Dear Bully, You ought to be ashamed of yourself, thinking that you're better than everyone else! You're always looking people up and down, and make everyone uncomfortable when you're around! You think being pretty is what it's all about,  but Lord knows you're not pretty from  the inside out! Making fun of others just isn't right, I don't know how you can sleep at night! I may never know why you do what you do, but I'll continue to pray for you! You really hurt my feelings, but in the end, you're not the kind of person I want for a friend ! If you're being bullied I want you to know you're NOT ALONE!! Don't let some insecure bully ruin your life!!! They have people that can help you! Go to your parents, your school counselor!!! Most importantly, remember this, there is NOTHING wrong with YOU!! The bully is the one with the problem!!!!! God loves you, and so do I....... Yaya Pam This isn’t about me. I did get teased in school and it did hurt, but I never felt hopeless. I wrote the second part of the poem for my granddaughter when she told me about an incident at school. My granddaughter is my world!!! I wanted to nip it in the bud so to speak.
I watch all of your shows and think that you and Robyn are amazing!!! Not amazing celebrities, amazing people!! Y’all are kind, loving, caring and most of all awesome parents and grandparents.
I wanted to share this with y’all because I want to help. I put my poem on my facebook but if you wouldn’t mind, would you put it on yours?
It would be much appreciated, Yaya Pam

IF YOU’RE BEING BULLIED PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!!

Dear Bully, I’m the one you use to bully every day,
you made me hate going to school, but I had to go anyway! 
Sometimes to avoid you I would try and go to in late,
but standing outside our classroom door you would always wait!
I never understood why you bullied me?
I had to wear my glasses or I couldn’t see.
I always came to school and did what I had to do,
I couldn”t help it if I wasn”t as pretty as you……
I often wondered,  if bullies didn’t exist,
would I have gone to college and been on the dean’s list?
Would I have I have been invited to the prom, and just like all the rest,
gone shopping with my mom looking for that special dress?
Would my father have walked me down the aisle on my wedding day?
And by now would I have a precious baby on the way?
I will never know what living is all about,
because I chose what I THOUGHT was my only way out……
The very second I did it I regretted what I’d done,
what was I thinking? Now YOU had won!!!!!
I didn’t want to leave, I wanted to stay,
if I could have a do over, this is what I’d say……….

  Dear Bully,
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
thinking that you’re better than everyone else!
You’re always looking people up and down,
and make everyone uncomfortable when you’re around!
You think being pretty is what it’s all about, 
but Lord knows you’re not pretty from  the inside out!
Making fun of others just isn’t right,
I don’t know how you can sleep at night!
I may never know why you do what you do,
but I’ll continue to pray for you!
You really hurt my feelings, but in the end,
you’re not the kind of person I want for a friend !

If you’re being bullied I want you to know you’re NOT ALONE!!
Don’t let some insecure bully ruin your life!!!
They have people that can help you! Go to your parents, your school counselor!!!
Most importantly, remember this, there is NOTHING wrong with YOU!!
The bully is the one with the problem!!!!!
God loves you, and so do I…….
Yaya Pam

]]> By: Jay http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-3/#comment-124082 Jay Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:19:23 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-124082 If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson

]]> By: Siyabonga http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-3/#comment-113885 Siyabonga Tue, 12 Jun 2012 07:08:23 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-113885 So incredibly sad. Unfortunately, it often takes trdeeaigs to get people to create change. I've been so glad at my school that we have taken on bullying seriously. One thing we have is "Bully Reports" where students can fill out forms anonymously (or not) reporting a bullying incident that has happened to them or someone they know. The entire staff is then notified so we can keep our eyes open for it.I hope the best for your sister. It's so hard when we want to protect those that we love. So incredibly sad. Unfortunately, it often takes trdeeaigs to get people to create change. I’ve been so glad at my school that we have taken on bullying seriously. One thing we have is “Bully Reports” where students can fill out forms anonymously (or not) reporting a bullying incident that has happened to them or someone they know. The entire staff is then notified so we can keep our eyes open for it.I hope the best for your sister. It’s so hard when we want to protect those that we love.

]]> By: Fran http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-3/#comment-44375 Fran Wed, 19 Oct 2011 04:00:43 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-44375 I am not a teenage mom; I am 39 yr. old Mom who has tried once to end my life and on the verge of it tonight!!!! I am not a teenage mom; I am 39 yr. old Mom who has tried once to end my life and on the verge of it tonight!!!!

]]> By: Fran http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-3/#comment-44373 Fran Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:58:47 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-44373 I need to talk to someone; I am not a teenager but a 39 yr old woman I need to talk to someone; I am not a teenager but a 39 yr old woman

]]> By: Yvonne Wehr http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-2/#comment-44277 Yvonne Wehr Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:28:20 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-44277 Dr. Phil, I just watched your show about teens being bullied and it really hit home with me. I do not have any teens but I do have three children that were horribly bullied at their school last year. I had to take my children off the bus for 3 years because all three of my kids were being hurt physically and verbally. If someone hit one of my children the other two would stand up for them and end up being hurt. They were hit, called names, and pushed off the bus. When I would talk to the parent the parent would be just as insulting and mean, if I talked to the bus driver she would tell me she saw nothing so she couldn't punish anyone. So I drove them to and from school everyday. At the school they would be teased and called names as well. When they would tell the teacher the teacher would say they can't do anything if they didn't see it and it was one child's word against another. If the principle became involved the bullying child would be brought into the office and spoken too. Then my child would be teased more and called a nark. It got so bad that I eventually told my children to hit back when someone hurt them. Walking away didn't work, and I was at my wits end on how to help my child. We have moved to a new state so all my kids are in a new school. My daughter has come home everyday with a smile and telling me she has a great day. But my middle child, a son, has had trouble with some older children starting fights and saying he is trouble maker. I have had to tell my son know that if a bully pushes him push back harder, and I hate teaching my child violence. My children are straight A students, we have family day every week, and I listen to my children when they are being hurt. I just don't know what else I can do to help my son's combat the mean bullies of the world. And God forbid if one of children ever bully another child. My middle son tried once to hurt another child feelings and I made him write an apology to the child and 100 sentences. He has never hurt another child's feelings since then. Dr. Phil,
I just watched your show about teens being bullied and it really hit home with me. I do not have any teens but I do have three children that were horribly bullied at their school last year. I had to take my children off the bus for 3 years because all three of my kids were being hurt physically and verbally. If someone hit one of my children the other two would stand up for them and end up being hurt. They were hit, called names, and pushed off the bus. When I would talk to the parent the parent would be just as insulting and mean, if I talked to the bus driver she would tell me she saw nothing so she couldn’t punish anyone. So I drove them to and from school everyday.
At the school they would be teased and called names as well. When they would tell the teacher the teacher would say they can’t do anything if they didn’t see it and it was one child’s word against another. If the principle became involved the bullying child would be brought into the office and spoken too. Then my child would be teased more and called a nark.
It got so bad that I eventually told my children to hit back when someone hurt them. Walking away didn’t work, and I was at my wits end on how to help my child. We have moved to a new state so all my kids are in a new school. My daughter has come home everyday with a smile and telling me she has a great day. But my middle child, a son, has had trouble with some older children starting fights and saying he is trouble maker. I have had to tell my son know that if a bully pushes him push back harder, and I hate teaching my child violence.
My children are straight A students, we have family day every week, and I listen to my children when they are being hurt. I just don’t know what else I can do to help my son’s combat the mean bullies of the world. And God forbid if one of children ever bully another child. My middle son tried once to hurt another child feelings and I made him write an apology to the child and 100 sentences. He has never hurt another child’s feelings since then.

]]> By: Blue Butterfly http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-2/#comment-24004 Blue Butterfly Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:16:54 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-24004 I lost my son at age 15. There is so much stigma on suicide and so much insinsitivity to the survivors that I do not use my real name online (see address/say nothing). My son died as a result of cruelty of others. I feel like he was murdered by others nameless and faceless although to the letter of the law no one will be accountable since he died by proxy of his own hands. In any other death situation this would have remained a private and kept somewhat dignified matter but when the teenage rumour mill cranks up and goes online it becomes very publicly humiliating for the survivors and most of all it is defamating to my son's memory. I did'nt know half of what was being spread untill months after the fact. In a community this small, everyone knew me overnight and I became (pardon my oxymoron) a Popular Pariah. After my son's death I kept in touch with his friends and learned that some were being bullied for being his friends and my son was being made fun of STILL for "Being Dead". Things like this make an otherwise docile parent want to go over the edge. I'm alive alone. My son was'nt just an only child. He was the last of two bloodlines and the only thing I ever set out to do with my life. So now this branch on the family tree goes in reverse. I hope you have success with this Anti Bullying movement. It will not bring back my son but it could help keep MANY other families from being EXTINCT. PS: I have to agree with the post above. When we got the school involved the Faculty made things so much worse. I lost my son at age 15. There is so much stigma on suicide and so much insinsitivity to the survivors that I do not use my real name online (see address/say nothing). My son died as a result of cruelty of others. I feel like he was murdered by others nameless and faceless although to the letter of the law no one will be accountable since he died by proxy of his own hands. In any other death situation this would have remained a private and kept somewhat dignified matter but when the teenage rumour mill cranks up and goes online it becomes very publicly humiliating for the survivors and most of all it is defamating to my son’s memory. I did’nt know half of what was being spread untill months after the fact. In a community this small, everyone knew me overnight and I became (pardon my oxymoron) a Popular Pariah. After my son’s death I kept in touch with his friends and learned that some were being bullied for being his friends and my son was being made fun of STILL for “Being Dead”. Things like this make an otherwise docile parent want to go over the edge. I’m alive alone. My son was’nt just an only child. He was the last of two bloodlines and the only thing I ever set out to do with my life. So now this branch on the family tree goes in reverse.
I hope you have success with this Anti Bullying movement. It will not bring back my son but it could help keep MANY other families from being EXTINCT.

PS: I have to agree with the post above. When we got the school involved the Faculty made things so much worse.

]]> By: jennifer conklin http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-2/#comment-23980 jennifer conklin Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:47:09 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-23980 My youngest son brandon died early in the morning on october 18,2010 nine months and one day ago my husband woke up went out on our front porch to find our 16yr old son had hung himselfwe not only know for a fact he was bullied at school and at home in his hometown of williamsburg kasas tje small town he literally grew but whats worse is be was also bullied by facebook and by adults in his own home town these adults instagated thier 18yr old son and 13yr old daughter to do it over a girl the 2boys were fighting over.i guess the reason i am sayin anythi.g at all is because tbese people used to be so much apart of our family we considered each others families as a whole npw we do.t speak and there os a baby involved they vandilized our home only a few.weeks before my sons death then durring the week of his death started bullying my daughter and myself on facebook which continues to this day my son brandon was a beautiful wonderful lo i.g caring son who could make anyone laugh his beautiful green eyes lit up the world please dr.phil i miss my baby boy so much please help stop this horrible thing that not o.ly kids.due to eachother but when grown people get imvolved its even that much more painfull. When people say words dont hurt i know fot a fact words give a lasting impression on tbe beart and soul of the kids and they can cause tragety lime the loss of my son at only 16 thank you for doing this i have been searching for a eay to get brandons story out thank you Jennifer M.Conklin My youngest son brandon died early in the morning on october 18,2010 nine months and one day ago my husband woke up went out on our front porch to find our 16yr old son had hung himselfwe not only know for a fact he was bullied at school and at home in his hometown of williamsburg kasas tje small town he literally grew but whats worse is be was also bullied by facebook and by adults in his own home town these adults instagated thier 18yr old son and 13yr old daughter to do it over a girl the 2boys were fighting over.i guess the reason i am sayin anythi.g at all is because tbese people used to be so much apart of our family we considered each others families as a whole npw we do.t speak and there os a baby involved they vandilized our home only a few.weeks before my sons death then durring the week of his death started bullying my daughter and myself on facebook which continues to this day my son brandon was a beautiful wonderful lo i.g caring son who could make anyone laugh his beautiful green eyes lit up the world please dr.phil i miss my baby boy so much please help stop this horrible thing that not o.ly kids.due to eachother but when grown people get imvolved its even that much more painfull. When people say words dont hurt i know fot a fact words give a lasting impression on tbe beart and soul of the kids and they can cause tragety lime the loss of my son at only 16 thank you for doing this i have been searching for a eay to get brandons story out thank you Jennifer M.Conklin

]]> By: Holly http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-2/#comment-23906 Holly Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:04:38 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-23906 Like many people, I was picked on and bullied as a kid. Not a day went by when I didn't hate my life and everything about it. Fortunately things changed in 9th grade (not long after I began contemplating suicide) thanks to a wonderful new teacher who helped me get through it all. But as a grownup, I get so upset to hear stories of kids going through the things I went through, and the remedies they're taking. I'm a mother, now, and I can't stand the thought of my daughter being afraid to go to school, or to leave the house, or to hear some of the cruel and nasty things kids say to each other. It sickens me and breaks my heart in a way I can't even explain. Earlier this year, a young man just a few miles away from me decided to end his life in the middle of the night. He was 'bullied to death,' I guess you could say. When his family was asleep, he went out to the highway and ran in front of a truck. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. I didn't know the boy or his family, but it affected me so deeply that I literally cried for days, and I feel my eyes watering up now just re-telling that tragic story. His death encouraged me to do something. The poet in me needed to write about it, and I ended up with this song. It's by no means professional, but it is heartfelt and meaningful and I hope you'll check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FabHLfc3kQ Like many people, I was picked on and bullied as a kid. Not a day went by when I didn’t hate my life and everything about it. Fortunately things changed in 9th grade (not long after I began contemplating suicide) thanks to a wonderful new teacher who helped me get through it all.

But as a grownup, I get so upset to hear stories of kids going through the things I went through, and the remedies they’re taking. I’m a mother, now, and I can’t stand the thought of my daughter being afraid to go to school, or to leave the house, or to hear some of the cruel and nasty things kids say to each other. It sickens me and breaks my heart in a way I can’t even explain.

Earlier this year, a young man just a few miles away from me decided to end his life in the middle of the night. He was ‘bullied to death,’ I guess you could say. When his family was asleep, he went out to the highway and ran in front of a truck. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. I didn’t know the boy or his family, but it affected me so deeply that I literally cried for days, and I feel my eyes watering up now just re-telling that tragic story.

His death encouraged me to do something. The poet in me needed to write about it, and I ended up with this song. It’s by no means professional, but it is heartfelt and meaningful and I hope you’ll check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FabHLfc3kQ

]]> By: Kat http://blog.drphil.com/2010/03/11/teens-under-pressure/comment-page-2/#comment-21667 Kat Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:14:43 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=2383#comment-21667 Dear Dr.Phil, I was bullied in school from the time I was 13 until 18. The bullying was not only emotional and physical, but also sexual. I was sexually abused for 2 years on and off (13-15yo) by a fellow classmate. This started in the school and he eventually started to stalk me. When I finally found the courage to tell my mom, we went to the police and the school. The school did absolutely nothing. I was lectured by the school board and ignored. The police did not want to bother with it either. Finally, after going to three police stations the county police took my case on. Instead of the school dealing with my offender, they instead removed me from the school and put me into a night school program with the kids who had "bad behavior problems".. so that the boy who did all of this to me could stay on the football team. Even though HE was arrested in school for sexually abusing me. The entire school knew about the dozens of court hearings I had been going to with the star football player. Instead of giving any support, a group of girls started bullying me. They would call my cell and home phone, make up websites about how much I was hated, and beat me up several times. I have been jumped by a group of more than 2 girls atleast 5 times, and got suspended every time from school for trying to defend myself to get away from them. All of this being said, I have suffered a tremendous amount because of it. Although it still haunts me, I have received years of therapy. In that time I attempted to take my own life numerous times, and have been hospitalized on and off for an eating disorder/alcohol and drug abuse. Today I am doing great, but it took a lot of hard work and dedication (I'm still working on myself everyday)... but I've never been happier. I do not understand why schools do not take this more seriously. Emotional, physical and sexual abuse on a child is very damaging. I feel for every person on your show who talks about situations like this. I want to give them a big hug and tell them it WILL be ok. I wish there was a way to hold schools more responsible to these issues, and help the children being victimized by bullying -- instead of punishing them. Dear Dr.Phil,

I was bullied in school from the time I was 13 until 18. The bullying was not only emotional and physical, but also sexual. I was sexually abused for 2 years on and off (13-15yo) by a fellow classmate. This started in the school and he eventually started to stalk me. When I finally found the courage to tell my mom, we went to the police and the school. The school did absolutely nothing. I was lectured by the school board and ignored. The police did not want to bother with it either. Finally, after going to three police stations the county police took my case on. Instead of the school dealing with my offender, they instead removed me from the school and put me into a night school program with the kids who had “bad behavior problems”.. so that the boy who did all of this to me could stay on the football team. Even though HE was arrested in school for sexually abusing me.

The entire school knew about the dozens of court hearings I had been going to with the star football player. Instead of giving any support, a group of girls started bullying me. They would call my cell and home phone, make up websites about how much I was hated, and beat me up several times. I have been jumped by a group of more than 2 girls atleast 5 times, and got suspended every time from school for trying to defend myself to get away from them. All of this being said, I have suffered a tremendous amount because of it. Although it still haunts me, I have received years of therapy. In that time I attempted to take my own life numerous times, and have been hospitalized on and off for an eating disorder/alcohol and drug abuse. Today I am doing great, but it took a lot of hard work and dedication (I’m still working on myself everyday)… but I’ve never been happier.

I do not understand why schools do not take this more seriously. Emotional, physical and sexual abuse on a child is very damaging. I feel for every person on your show who talks about situations like this. I want to give them a big hug and tell them it WILL be ok. I wish there was a way to hold schools more responsible to these issues, and help the children being victimized by bullying — instead of punishing them.

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