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September 6th, 2010 by Loni Coombs

Taking a Stand against Cyber Bullying

The following is from my good friend Loni Coombs, a legal analyst, mom and regular contributor to the Dr. Phil show and The Doctors. She appeared on the Dr. Phil show “Bullied to Death,” weighing in on the legal consequences cyber bullies should face as a result of their actions.

Loni_1I just finished taping a heart-wrenching episode of the Dr. Phil show that airs today. The show deals with the recent suicide of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University freshman who was “outed” by his roommate’s  alleged surreptitious recording of Tyler’s sexual contact with another male. It was broadcast over the Internet, and highlights a dangerous and devastating trend that we as a society need to deal with immediately and not continue to stick our collective heads in the sand and hope it will go away.

Tyler’s story brings together the perfect storm of a vulnerable young man struggling with his own sexual identity, a desensitized attention seeker and the far-reaching, immediate and permanent impact of the cyber social network.

I’ve always compared the Internet to fire — a powerful tool that can improve life or destroy it.  It all depends on how we use it. Unfortunately, we literally put this potent instrument into the hands of children, teens and young adults. Most of them don’t have the maturity or understanding to use it responsibly, and the results are deadly. Yes — deadly. During the show, I struggled to contain my emotions as photo after photo of sweet, beautiful young faces —  children — who have committed suicide after being cyber bullied, flashed on the screen.

Dr. Phil and I discussed the legal ramifications of Tyler’s death. Presently his roommate and another freshman are charged with multiple counts of invasion of privacy, which carry a maximum five-year prison term. Prosecutors are considering adding a hate crime enhancement, which would double the maximum sentence. Dr. Phil zeroed right in on the critical issue in this case: Should the defendants be held accountable for their actions only? Or should they also be held responsible for all of the resulting consequences — including Tyler’s actions? Have suicides from cyber bullying reached such a level that we as a society should consider it a “reasonably foreseeable” consequence?  Are we ready for a “cyber bullying manslaughter” law?

9402_1Dr. Phil included in this show a group of young people who courageously shared their personal experiences of being bullied over their perceived sexual orientation. Years ago, when I was in charge of the Hate Crimes Prosecution Unit for Los Angeles County, I spent quite a bit of time with the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender community support groups, so I’m not naïve about the shocking lack of common decency exhibited by some people. But most of the victims I dealt with were adults.

Now, I listened to these young people describe their loneliness and isolation from peers and parents, and their painful struggles with depression and suicide attempts. I had to reign in my overwhelming mothering instincts to go wrap my arms protectively around each one of them and tell them how strong, and beautiful and valuable they are. At the end, Dr. Phil asked each one of them to look directly into the camera and share the advice they would give to someone who might be out there, drowning in that same dark hole that they had been in. With simple eloquence, each young person expressed moving encouragement of love and hope.

As parents, teachers, lawmakers and peers, we need to open our eyes and take a stand against cyber bullying. Failing to act now is too dangerous, too deadly for us all.

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110 Responses to “Taking a Stand against Cyber Bullying”

  1. Emily Maan says:

    Dr.Phil,

    Hello!! My name is Emily and I am 17 years old. I have been bullied since the start of Gr.3. As we all grew older the bullying begain to turn more into cyber bullying than anything else. At the end of every night I actually ended up feeling worse than I used to when it was face to face bullying. Words that are written down stick with people more than when someone says it to your face-I find. So last year i was annoyed with having to deal with being bullied so I decided to do something about it that would help not only me, but other girls who have gone or are going through the same thing.

    I am a black belt in mixed martial arts, so i decided to make a Girls Self-Defense/ Self- Esteem class. It has now successfully been running since i first started it last year! In this class I focus on giving girls the confidence they need and deserve, so they can stand up and make a change in someone elses life. My goal starting this class was to help and make a difference in at least one persons life…I’ve now successfully reached my goal with more then one girl. Which to me is amazing. If i can help other people help themselves AND someone else, my prayers have been answered. Anyways I just wanted to share that with you and say I really appreciate all the hard work you guys are putting into this.

    Emily Maan :)

  2. David says:

    Dr. Phil
    As my girlfriend and I watched your anti bullying show this morning, we came to realize that our children had been bullied online. Both girls are strong individuals and tell us when these events happen and allow us to help them resolve the problem. It seems to be a cyber gang problem as I Look more into the issue. The comment made as we wat he’d your show was this would be a great show for prime time so childeren can learn from it and parents can become more aware of how serious this truly is. Kids these days have to learn how to rise above this cowardice and parents have to be accessible to be able to address the problem. Thank-you for taking a stand against this cowardice and keep on bringing the positive messages.
    Sincerely
    David

  3. Ron says:

    Cyber Bullying is way bigger then you are talking about. I was Bullied when I was about 40 years of age and it still happens and I am 45 yrs old. It is not just kids but adults this happens to. And there are a lot of adults that are doing the Bullying. I Call it Mental Bullying because it will happen on your Computer, Phone, Work or School, Home, and anywhere they can try to hurt you not just on the Computer. I want to sign the pledge but I can’t find it. I want to help as an adult that has been Bullied. I have learned to Ignore it because everyone I told this about always thought I was making this up. Until your show I now know I was Bullied. But at the time it happened it really was a hurtful thing and it still hurts. But I have learned how to stand up to the Bullys because I know they are the ones with the problems. I am hopeful I can Help others avoid the Traumaand maybe the trauma from my bullying will go away. E mail me for anything, Thank You. Ron

  4. Tami says:

    I truly believe that part of the problem with bullying and much of the violence among teenage girls is due in large part to such shows as “Bad Girls Club”, “Jersey Shore”, etc. The people on these shows are glorified and given television shows, publicity and exploited for acting in such a manner. It is then no wonder that the rest of the world feels this type of behavior is acceptable and even promoted. Television has gone way beyond the limits of what is acceptable and I say shame on the FCC for relaxing its standards. I watched the Dr. Phil show with the housewives in the Dr. Phil house and I was very disappointed in Dr. Phil for falling into the trap of promoting the anger and aggressiveness of these women. Once again, it is the bad behavior that is rewarded with television time. These women are not the norm. My own teenage daughter even commented as to why Bristol Palin is considered a “celebrity” on Dancing With The Stars. She got pregnant at 16 and is put on tv. Sixteen year old girls are given their own show, e.g. Sixteen and Pregnant. The reality shows are contributing to the downfall of society and its morals. These people should NOT be rewarded.

  5. Linda Rhodes says:

    My grandson is 14 years old. He is excited about getting friends and teachers involved in antibullying in his small school and town. I want to share this positive action of a teen. How can they get books and information from you or your son on bullying? Thank you.

  6. Linda Rhodes says:

    I don’t know if I will ever understand why children even have computers to have facebook…and all of the communication pages, texting on cel phones. Isn’t the best prevention…not having access to the source? They are too young!

  7. Heidi Elias says:

    My son is 10 yrs old and has ADHD. Some kids are not nice to him. This is what he wrote in his journal……….

    Faith, Joy and Depression

    Everyday I feel like I don’t belong here.
    I feel no one cares about me.
    Then I say to myself, “I am worth it.”
    When I think this, I realize there are people who care about me.
    That I have a reason to live.
    That I am important.
    And then I know, I know that there’s a way to be happy.
    Then I forget and enjoy life as it is.
    Thanks God.

  8. Brandi Tillett says:

    I’ve watched the shows about the cyber bullying and cried when seeing just how many lives have been lost. I have taken a firm stand against bullying and have hopefully educated my girls enough about bullying. My oldest who is 8 years old experienced some bullying last year at school. She told me that a couple girls in her class were calling her fat and saying that she was stupid. One child even pushed her into a brick wall, scrapping up her cheek. When I talked to her teacher and school they did nothing about it. Luckily for her we moved and she had to change schools and so far hasn’t experienced an bullying. Unfortunatly for my twin girls who just started school this year, one have experienced some name calling. She went to tell her teacher and the teacher said she needed to work it out on her own. What’s the problem here? Why aren’t teachers being educated like daycares seem to be and do something about it? Are they afraid to “step on parent’s toes”? How far does it have to go before school officals get involved? This is crazy. I am currently in college, taking a speech class and had to choose a topic for an informative speech. I choose bullying and how it has evolved into cyber bullying. It was a big shock to see just how many states, including mine that doesn’t have laws against bullying. So I leave with these questions…..Can we say that bullying starts in the home where parents aren’t involved, maybe don’t care what their kid does or is in denial that their kid has done anything wrong? Is the child that is the bully in elementary school just looking for some attention, even if it is negative, ends up enjoying the attention they get and the feel of control over someone that they get meaner and worse as they get older?

  9. E. says:

    Dr. Phil,

    have you ever heard about the website encyclopediadramatica.com?

    It’s created to ruin people. You can create an entry about someone with all the dirt and nonsense you can think about.

    When googling a victim, it will be one of the first search results to appear. For example when a prospective employer googles you before a job interview.

    Are you able to do something about this?

  10. D.I.J.E.S. says:

    HEAR! HEAR! Emily Maan!

    Although one may not ask to be bullied, one does have a choice of being twice victimized. Way to Go!, Emily. Smart of you to stand up and take charge of how others treat you. Even more kudos for motivating and teaching others to take responsibility for themselves.

  11. jennifer says:

    Kids now a days get bullied enough at school and in other places. Now we have to worry about the internet to. My son gets bullied at school and that has effected him enough. This is why I as a parent restrict his interent use to begin with. He is not allowed on the computer at all unless he is doing homework and even then I am sitting right next to him. My husband & I only have 1 computer & we have it so he would have to have the password to get on it. We are very strict about this & now by reading all of these messages I know we are making the right decision for our kids.

  12. vince says:

    dr phil tonight i learned first hand what it feels like to be bullied on the internet, and let me tell you i can understand why these young kids take there own lives, i was on yahoo on a news topic page today i spent most of the day there chatting with some people, and some femail posted to me to leave the site, i did not get upset at her doc i just posted back to her and asked her to pay for my internet and i would be very happy to let her tell me when i could play on the net, well it was not long doc some one was on using my very same user name and posted some really disterbing grafic threats to this young lady or kid and it left me numb and amazed to see some one else on there with my name, i had my account for over 10 years i think with yahoo, docc i took screen shots of the threat and clicked on the guys user pic and took a screen shot of his mane he was under and then i flaged the post to yahoo and told them what was happening, the bullieing part came in as i told the guy i reported him for making terroristic threats to that female, i asume it was a kid by the wording of her post to me in the beginning, well doc the topic board tore into me as if i were a wet sack hanging on a cloths line in a rain storm, and i for the life could not understand why i was all of a sudden a target of pure and utter hatered for trying to do the right thing and get that guy caught, i did my best to make the people understand it was not me that threatened the female but the ones acusing me refused to click on that guys user pic and see for there selves, after 30 min of trying to recover from a situation i had no controll of i finely gave up but i stuck to my guys doc, i deleted my account as i felt in my heart that if i had a gun i would have used it on my self at that very moment, doc im 53 years old, if people on a site can make me feel like this i can not amagine what a child has going through there heads as they too just give up trying to save face, not only did i contact yahoo about this i also contacted the feds to report it, i did not know if this was a kid just trying to humilate me on line or if it was some one going to murder that female doc, i was scared, funny thing dr phil my mom said the internet was the beast the bible speaks of and i just laughed, dr phil i aint laughing now, i do wonder about that with all these kids killing them selves over stupidity from others on the net, i do not understand how any one can be just pure hateful to any one they do not even know, i guess these idiots think its all just a dam game doc, it almost won over me tonight, i lost friends e mail addresses i have made over the last 10 years on line, and i guess that made me feel like ending it all over that crap,doc i will never get to talk to my real friends now as a result, but i feared for my freedom by keeping that account after some idiot played me to be a muredr on line, damn right it hurts, i still feel that pain in my heart, all of you parents out there take it from me it only takes less than 3 posts on line to make ur child end it all, it took 5 for me i tried my best to just ignor the idiots on there, and let me tell ya when this happens you do not stop to think about all you have to live for, i went against my gut to be able to post here dr phil i had to open a new account to be able to, for gods sake dr phil get the message out to parents to watch what there kids are doing online who would have thought yahoo.com could cause some one to end there life over hate posted to them,yall it made a beleiver out of me tonight, i pray i have not gotton some ones kid in trouble with the law over a stupid stunt aimed at me for what ever reason, god only knows, this is burnning me up inside trying to put my self in the kids parents place and at the same time trying to put my self in the parents place of a child who went through with ending it all, yeah im tore up inside real good over this and i ask my self why me lord, was it cause he knew i would get the vitles before yahoo could deleit it like they did, yup yahoo took the guys 2 posts to that female off the site completely, my guess is they will not follow through with any actions, doc i did let that young lady know it were not me and let her know i was repporting that as it was happening, did i over react dr phil? this is whear im at with this situation,god i pray i did not, i feared for that ladies life with what that guy posted dr phil. lady-woman-kid-child, i did not ask her age and can onl;y asume she was a female cause her user name was lori.

  13. Donna says:

    I would love to find a way to have FMLA updated to include bullying. I had to leave a good job b/c my daughter was talking about suicide at age 10. I tried everything I could think of, including: comp time, flex hours, and voluntary furlough – all were denied. I talked with HR to see if I could use FMLA to help me. I even asked about intermittent FMLA. None of my issues were covered under FMLA. If my daughter would have attempted suicide, I could have used FMLA, or if she attempted and succeed, I could use berevement. Does not make sense to me. With the way things are today, I truly think it should be added somehow. Not sure how it would be worded. If you have a child who is a bully, you could use that time to help him/her. If you have a child who is bullied, the same. Doctors and counselors are involved. What do you think? Thank goodness, I chose my daughter’s life and got involved, otherwise, I don’t know what would have happened. IF I had FMLA to help me, I could have helped her and saved my job.

  14. vince says:

    hey dr phil i have sat and thought of what i can do to take a bite out of cyber bullieing, sir it aint much i as only one person can do but its a start, sorry to take it this far cause i know the bullies will never take this steap dr phil but i have closed all my accounts on line and this is my very last message to the cyber world, i an dropping the internet today aswell, what a dumb idea some think? nha yall it really is not,the only reason the internet sites do not get on top of this is becouse they have no reprecutions to suffer if they just say well those kids were unstable and blame the parents for there now dead child being on the internet in the first place, never know yall this movement just might catch on all over america and then only the cyber bullies will only have each other to bullie, wow wouldnt that be a just reward for them, the way i see this step its like putting them all in a cyber prison togather,may god forgive me for being part of making it possible for bullies to do this to children in other states and countries around the world, i am almost 100% sure its not just happening in america,like i said i know this is a very small contrubition to make for the movement but trust me cox cable will indeed miss the $158.00 a month we pay for internet service, i pray god will be with all the famileys world wide who lost children as a result to this terrible unprosicuted crime,cyber crime is a act of cowards period and i do pray for even the bullies that god will change them or that many others will follow my leed and end there service aswell, i will miss it but i can live with out it, yall thers just too much pure and utter hate splattered on every site you care to visit, i know i my self have made a azz out of my self many times on the net and have made a pure fool out of my self and later felt the shame of my stupidity, but in all the years i have been on line i have never said anything to others that was bad that i did not go back and tell them i was sorry and asked for forgiveness and always told i was forgiven, but i never took a person and splattered any thing about them on a private or public site to harm them in any way, i have argued with folks on a sites blog pages, but let it go at that when i was made a fool out of about my inability to spell roflmao hell i know i cant spell they wasted there effort if it was done as a service to let me know i could not spell, lmao no one offered to copy paste my misspelled words along with the correct spelling to help me so i always asaumed it were a insult to me they were after, any ways yall it has been great having a place to pour out my heart when i really needed to feel connected to others trying to find comfort or just a friens i always found it on any of dr phils sites,thank you dr phil for this service you provide to this world, and i am going to miss being a part of your little corner of this cyber world, but doc for those who have lost there life, i got to end my cyber life out of respect to them in heaven looking down and to there loved ones left behind, god i ask for you to comfort all of the parents and restore there hearts to go forward and not let my effort be a waste God bless all of you its beed a heack of a ride, my station to get off of just came up, bye all.

  15. Jenni says:

    I took a stand against bullying in my neighborhood, and that was the kiss of Death. The Mothers of the bulling are very proud that they have raised such destructive little trolls that they defend and perpetuate the behavior. The scary thing is that the leader of the 35 year old mean girl bullies of the neighborhood claims to run a “christian daycare.” These children are being neglected while she is trying to be cool having all of the other parents give me dirty looks and torment me. Prior to me taking a stand, I was just being ostracized and ignored as I was new to the neighborhood. In that time, I stopped two of the toddlers that she is supposed to be babysitting from walking into the street. Daily I watch these people drop their children off at this Psychopath’s daycare, where their children are being taught to bully, intimidate and threaten other’s be her. Please parent’s, learn from the emotional trauma that you know existed when you were young, and do not perpetuate the behavior. Everybody should have a right to obtain an education free from harassment or embarassment. Model good behavior, and ask the neighbors of your daycare what they observe when you are not around.

  16. Lucy Fremd says:

    Dr. Phil,
    I am a retired teacher with plenty of life experience with bullying–both personal and professional. As the youngest of 3 children it started at home, then it happened in school, then it happened with the parents of friends and students, then it happened in with other professionals in the school setting, and now it occasionally happens during homeowner’s meetings. I feel you have mentioned most of the areas of bullying most people of all ages encounter except that which comes from adults. The adults who have soooo much influence over youngsters. There are so many ways adults can bully young children there should be a period of anti-bullying instruction taking place in schools every day. Children watch their parents bully each other, children are taught to bully others by their parents, and they watch adults bully incidentally. Adults today have many problems which make them feel disrespected and bullying is a possible reaction and many, if not most, people lack self confidence. WE must all take the time to teach better systems of communication. I know you do all you can to help others learn to feel better about themselves. KEEP IT UP! I guess I feel the need to ask you to encourage the adults to take responsibility for their bullying that we motivate adults to learn and demonstrate more appropriate social actions for everyone’s benefit.

    Right now I have a wonderful grandson and we are teaching him to set boundaries and communicate kindly. I go out of my way to introduce him to people of many different cultures, lifestyles, and preferences. Our family exposes him to respectful and disrespectful teasing. We do not want to create a society of wimps but a society of people who no longer feel the need to bully.

    Thank you,
    Lucy Fremd

  17. Lucy Fremd says:

    Jenni–

    I am sooooo sorry you were met with these reactions, however, I was not surprised. I know there are many bullying parents who can not distinguish between constructive communication and bullying. I support what you have done and “You Go GIRL!” as you inspire change. Not everyone feels pride in raising children who bully!

    Good Luck,
    Lucy

  18. vinessa says:

    this is to vince if its ok if i send another user a message back on here, i have read both of your messages, my hat if i wore one is off to you for youe effort,i have seen plenty of hate on yahoo most every time i log on at yahoo,i have made many complants to them but it is still a hate filled site,if you honestly are going through with your idea count me in, i use my system for school from time to time but hey, it is not mandantory to have a comput of your own,and i am sick of this too, i took off my yahoo acc a few min ago,mom could do with a break on the bills at home too,she only has net cause i wanted it,i will not miss it for long, i spend more time out side in the fresh air, yeah mr vince im with you even if it turns out im in it alone it is not like i will know any how. i will tell mom to cut our net off and you can feel good maybe about at least trying when no one can do anything but complain about it.good idea dude. lol school sux any-how

  19. Cynthia Fairfax says:

    When there are adults who are insensitive to individuals sexuality young adults and teenagers who are exposed to adults with that insensitivity will generally hold the same views. Insensitivity lessons generally do not appear obvious. It is a subtle process. We all must remember that this insensitivity is reinforced in church, on TV, in certain books and interaction with like minded people. When I and my sisters were growing up in Chicago our grandma Harris passed away. We went to the funeral parlor to view her body and say prayer. Upon our arrival we were met by our grandfather’s former bookkeeper Ms. Brown. We were unaware that Ms. Brown was a transvestite but when we walked through the door Ms. Brown was there and very excited to see our parents after so many years. It was a surprise to us, but we exihibited poise and class. We did not snicker, laugh or make jokes. Ms. Brown was dressed in a very classy and sophisticated manner with her mink coat all the way down to the ankles. When we returned home my parents told us they were unaware that Ms. Brown would be there, but they were glad that we did not laugh at Ms. Brown. The thing is there are those of us who are becoming insensitive and intolerant of others, and we need to remind them that gay people are human also.

  20. Bobby Bear says:

    All i can think is WHY have children taken onve the internet, is it no wonder why this issue is way out of controll people,what we have here is a lack of concern from the isp to the web sites to the adverts who pay all these sites to the parents who have children in every state in america, children do not need to have a free run on line period, easpecialy kids in the age group of 12/18, those are the age groups we need to watch the most, when the internet first came out it was advertised to target adults, after all it was us why worked and paid all the bills, as america went on line was not but one place to sighn up to and have internet service, AOL no AOL acc no internet service, your computer was worthless, as the net grew so did the target range of adds it did not go for elders who could care less, it went for all of our kids, HEY AMERICA HOWS IT WORKIN FOR YOU ! my kids are all grown i raised them to respect others, my kids today are way smarter then i ever was, heack there smerter then i am even today, im watching CNN this very moment, thers a news story about a teacher who posted on his facebook page that Gay kids should kill them selves, he has been so kind and done the right thing and quit his job, looks like he will not face any charges, i am sick at my stomach this very moment, i do not spend too much time on line, and i have noticed that every site you visit you must have a e mail acc to even use the sites, i stoped using a e mail a long time ago, i am limited to what sites i can use on the net THANK YOU DR PHIL FOR THIS SITE, at least i can think of something to put in that e mail add spot and get by, when i closed my e mail my phone stopped ringing off the hook 24/7 by automated salesmen trying to sell me crap, as i sit here discusted at all the children raising there parents, i have come to the conclusion i no longer need the inter net as well, i do not hang on sites kids use, and let me tell you they take over every site on the net like a dadburn diesease, i enjoy Dr Phil”s show, its good to see some one trying to get all of Americas parents to see the big red flay flapping in the breaze, one day when all of the parents take thear controll back from all these mean kids on line i may go back on, ahhh who am i kidding i am one person who is just sick, i do not care what any one”s kid was Gay or not, ALL KIDS ARE A GIFT FROM GOD, if your child is gay do you stop loving them, if your child is a bully do you stop loving them, if your child has a learning problem do you stop loving them, the answer to all is NO. why is America not up in arms at this cyber bully problem,people all need to know ALL CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM GOD, HE MAKES NO MISTAKE”S HE GAVE YOU A SPECIAL CHILD CAUSE HE KNEW YOU WOULD LOVE A CHILD IN ANY CONDITION IT GOT TO THIS WORLD IN, and those who treat any child with hate you are working for satan himself and do not even know it, and so all the people who wonder if Gays get to go to heaven, well if you can go cause God loves you why would God not let them go,HE CREATED THEM TOO, do they not look the very same as all humans, if all of this is a test from God, WE HAVE ALL FAILED AND NO ONE CAN GO TO HEAVEN. i see wild animals that have more compashion then most humans have, i can not bring any ones gift from God back but i can stop paying for the very tool that took it away from you parents who are now suffering such pain, i do not know your pain all of my children are still living, may my God ease your pain cause i worshop the only true God all of the heavens has, my God is a God of pure love, yes he loves all, but he sends hate and evil to hell.

  21. American movie watcher says:

    Oh kay America,i am having a very hard time sleeping and what snaped me up out of my bed and made me think about this who knows,but i have thought about nothing but this tragedy over those 2 kids possibly being charged over streaming that Gay kids encounter over the net, we all i know keep asking our selves what in the world could make those 2 so hartless, 2 words yall, HOLLY WOOD, dont know how many movie buffs we got on here but do any of you remember American virgin? remember the kid in the movie in bed with his sock, then later in the kitchen with his mom”s fresh baked apple pie,and his dad walking in the door of the kitchen and catching him? well i do not know about no one but my but i laughed till i had tears rolling down my cheaks yall, later in the movie remember the foregin exchange student he was setting up a date with? remember he and his buds set it up- so he could stream a live feed on line for his friends to get to watch,turned out the entire school some how stumbled across the live feed, well that was not as funny as moms apple pie to me but the class mates all made that look as tho all the kids involved including the guy in bed with nadua i think her name was,just laughed and teased the guy cause of his stamia problem he had with her, only one had no idea it was a free porn show for the entire school was nadua, no one got hurt in any way, IN THE MOVIE ATLEAST, yall our lust for comedy can be at blame here, if were going to allow movies to teach kids things like this we must all assume some part of responcibilty for what has happened, this turned out to be a movie script with one hell of a bad twist, on the silver screen all is well, in real life it took a childs life, i honestly do not feel in my heart these kids had any idea this was going to turn out to be a tragedy as it has, i honestly think all they were thinking was trying to reproduce the laughs every one saw a movie get in real life, Dr Phil says we must be acountable for our actions in life, and hes 100% on target, and Dr Phil also told all of us that kids brains are not fullt developed, they cant reason things out like a adult can, i can watch American virgin now and it aint near as funny to me now as it was when i was in my 20s and the movie had just hit the video stores, this dont help matters i know and it will not bring a child back, but if you never saw the movie please go rent it or watch it on netflicks as its still avabile, and after you watch it see if you see what i see, i do not know any of these kids involved but i know movies, hell yall we paved the way for our kids back when we all were kids. my god we would never have thought. and we would have pulled something like that off too just to pull a prank on our buddies, not to that extent but close, we did not have internet., just some food for thought America, if those kids do get charged, maybe if there past history is clean maybe just maybe probation and comunity service would serve a better punishment then jail yall, hell i see people with money walking away with murder and no jail or probation,let alone comunity service,and these are ADULTS, were talking about school kids here, sht people kids dont think.CHARGE HOLLY WOOD. they made the darn movie almost 20 years ago or longer,im good with movies just bad with dates and time, i miss the mark on that all the time, peace be with you.

  22. online bully says:

    hello all, i am a bully america will you please forgive me, i never bullyes any one by attacking them and causing no more then a few bad and very ugly words back and forth, i did not know i was a bully, see i was being bullyed over my lack of edacutaion, i was a nice guy with nothing but love in me i thought, i am ashamed america, and can share this with you in hopes you too one day do not have to face the fact that you too are a bully, it can happen in the click of a mouse button,and can travel faster then the speed of light, funny man still thinks light speen dont exisist, it do yall and this post is proof, too bad we cant get any way to measure just how fast i can launch this weapon from the east coast to the west coast, its just as fast to launch it from the east coast to any part in this world who has a system to catch it, no matter how slow your computer is it recives these lethel projectial at faster than the speed of light, if you argue with a person who launches a lets call it a nuke in stead of a post, in return you are launching a nuke back at them, it do not take long more people will start launching nukes in your defence and others will start launching nukes in there defence, every one thinks there right, but in reality it dont matter who was right or wrong, we all just totald distroyed a entire cyber world with nukes that hit faster then the speed of light, its a no win situation all around yall, but every one recovers in cyber world,only people we never saw in our lives suffered by our nukes, the faster we type the more nukes we can send out, if the cyber world would just see that submit button as dangorus as we see the launch codes to our man made nukes in the real world, it could get better for all, none of us can think at faster then light speed, should we launch weapons of mass distruction at faster then the speed of light, most of us have done this and had no idea we fell in to war games with cyber world, if only real people did not suffer it would make no differance, but that aint the case yall, dont know about no one but my self but im too stupid to be in controll of this weapon of mass distruction, it should have safe guards in place to keep idiots like me from hurting people in this world like you, i do not even know you but watch if this nuke makes its way to your eyes at just how fast i got it off the launch pad and hit all of you with it, even i never dreamed of this day, yeah i am a bully yall and did not mean to be i could not think that fast, please forgive me, i want peace with all, my nukes are all off line as of today, this is the last one i got yall, and i do hope it hits target dead in the middle. most do.

  23. shakinnasty says:

    hello real world, my name is shakinnasty, i live in the world of runescape, due to human disruption i have left runescape and am spending a day in your world to see what life is like,Dr Phil i hope you will forgive me for chousing your world to visit, i have serched your world and this was the only safe place i could find, i am very fragil in this world, it has come to our attenchion the inhabetants of your world=humans have invaded my world with hate and are using our world to carry out attacks on the people in your world,not sure about human laws but in runescape we have nemesis-fenixnemesis, we send them out to serch for these invaders, we cant do anything to them in any way,and we are not a violent race of beings,we were created in you humans image,we want to love all humans, but with all this disruption in cyber world it is forbiden,i am only here to make a plea to your world to please do not disrupt our harmony we do want to be a part of your world, we invite you humans to our world to visit and see who and what we are, no one dies in our world, when were ugly we just get sent home after we louse our stuff and have to walk back to whear the fun is at, your world is not ready for our world yet i fear, i only make this plea so we aree not totaly distroyed before we get to meet you, man may not have laws against cyber crime but we do, this is a plea to STOP our cyber inforcement are about to move our world far away to another, in our world our Gods will mute you for talking ugly, and if you disrupt our harmony while in our world you will be sent to our cyber prison never to return, please humans use love and not hate, some of our friends in our world will never beback to see us and we will miss them forever, most are just kids, i can not stay in your world any longer as i am from cyber world and will not disrupt your world as you have our”s, its beautifuf in your world, maybe you humans should have your God”s mute some of your worlds ugly speakers and people who use hate in any way, hey yall it works in my world real well, time to use my last teli-tab and go back home, peace to you all in real world every one in my world loves all of you, good bye, and have a good time and safe day, thank you Dr Phil i will not disrupt your world any longer please forgive me if this was a bad time to visit, i can see you have your work cut out for you, we all love you, you may come to our world any time you wish, i will even give you a free teli-tab to get here with, much safer then the means of transpotation you humans use, Shakin love,s ALL. i heard that some where before, its not my quote but it sure makes scense to live by that code of conduct.

  24. Shannon says:

    Let me tell you. I would have done the same thing. As a matter of fact I did. My daughter was tortured at the bus stop. I went there and confronted the much larger bully. The bully actually wanted to fight me. It was ridiculous. Im tired of it. I would face criminal charges with no problems. I had complained many times. My daughter was slapped in the face..made fun of unstop. Im tired of it. I went toe to toe with that bully. Unfortunately I would have thrown blows with her. My daughter came home crying everyday. I am glad that I did what I did.My daughter just wanted to be friends with everyone. Unfortunately, we are dealing with trash including the parents. I would not change anything that I did. I dont want James to back down. Stand strong for your kids!!!!

  25. Elizabeth Sooter says:

    I agree with what the father did. I was bullied as a teenager, but now that I have a son of my own I have finally found my voice and stand up for the little guys. I would have done the exact thing if someone had been doing that to my son or for that matter any other child that was having it done to them. I think it is time that the schools start making it a point to stand up for everyone that is having this done to them. And if the school has bus drivers that will not stand up for the kids on the bus then maybe they need to find someone that will not be afraid to take action on the bus. Also my husband and myself would like to know if there is a fund to help James with his legal bills?

  26. Jo says:

    I am behind this father 100 percent. I would do the same thing. We as parents have to stand up for our children when no one else will.

  27. Lydia in Minneapolis says:

    Schools must TAKE ACTION against bully (NOT just POLICIES ON PAPER).
    This is also PARENTWS’ RESPONSBILITY TO HOLD THEIR BULLY KIDS ACCOUNTABLE—and if not, for LAW ENFORCEMENT to be brought in (at age 12 or 13 and older). HERE’S A QUIZ FOR PARENTS TO TAKE:

    Bullying Quiz

    1. Are you doing all you can to prevent your child from being a bully?

    1. I have had a serious talk with my child about bullying at least once in the past year.
    I have had a serious talk with my child about bullying at least once in the past year. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    2. My child knows that I expect him/her to treat others with kindness and respect, and that mean or disrespectful conduct will result in negative consequences.
    My child knows that I expect him/her to treat others with kindness and respect, and that mean or disrespectful conduct will result in negative consequences. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    3. Our family has clear and specific rules regarding expected behavior, including a prohibition against bullying.
    Our family has clear and specific rules regarding expected behavior, including a prohibition against bullying. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    4. My child knows that it is wrong to pick on other kids with teasing, name calling, or insults.
    My child knows that it is wrong to pick on other kids with teasing, name calling, or insults. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    5. My child knows the difference between good-natured teasing and bullying behavior that hurts feelings.
    My child knows the difference between good-natured teasing and bullying behavior that hurts feelings. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    6. In our family, we consistently treat each other with respect; mean or nasty name calling or put-downs are not tolerated.
    In our family, we consistently treat each other with respect; mean or nasty name calling or put-downs are not tolerated. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    7. In our home, empathy and compassion for others are consistently encouraged and demonstrated.
    In our home, empathy and compassion for others are consistently encouraged and demonstrated. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    8. It is possible that my child engages in bullying behavior and I don’t know it.
    It is possible that my child engages in bullying behavior and I don’t know it. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    9. I make it a point to know how my child acts with friends to be sure that he/she is not mean or unkind to other students.
    I make it a point to know how my child acts with friends to be sure that he/she is not mean or unkind to other students. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    10. If my child is unusually attracted to violent games or movies, I recognize that this factor increases the possibility that he/she engages in bullying.
    If my child is unusually attracted to violent games or movies, I recognize that this factor increases the possibility that he/she engages in bullying. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    11. If my child is often angry and lashes out when he/she is frustrated, I recognize that this factor increases the possibility that he/she engages in bullying.
    If my child is often angry and lashes out when he/she is frustrated, I recognize that this factor increases the possibility that he/she engages in bullying. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    12. If I overhear my child saying mean or unkind things about other students, I let him/her know that it is not acceptable.
    If I overhear my child saying mean or unkind things about other students, I let him/her know that it is not acceptable. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    13. If my child were accused of bullying, I would look at the information objectively rather than automatically defend my child.
    If my child were accused of bullying, I would look at the information objectively rather than automatically defend my child. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    14. I make it a point to know how my child acts with friends to be sure that he/she is not mean or unkind to other students.
    I make it a point to know how my child acts with friends to be sure that he/she is not mean or unkind to other students. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    15. I require my child to give me access to his/her social media sites so I can monitor the things that are being said.
    I require my child to give me access to his/her social media sites so I can monitor the things that are being said. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    16. My child knows it is improper cyberbullying to send mean, rude, vulgar, or threatening messages or images; post embarrassing or accusatory private information about another person; and pretend to be someone else in order to make another person look bad.
    My child knows it is improper cyberbullying to send mean, rude, vulgar, or threatening messages or images; post embarrassing or accusatory private information about another person; and pretend to be someone else in order to make another person look bad. Yes
    No
    Don’t Know

    Yes = 2 Points
    Don’t Know = 1 Point
    No = 0 Points
    28 or more points – You have a good handle on the problem and the likelihood that your child is a bully is small

    23-27 points – You are doing most things right, but you could do more to reduce the risk that your child is a bully

    18-22 points – There is a lot of room for improvement to reduce the risk that your child is a bully

    17 points or less – You are at serious risk that your child may be a bully.
    ***********************************************************************************************************************
    The Six Pillars of Character

    ——————————————————————————–

    The CHARACTER COUNTS! approach to character education doesn’t exclude anyone. That’s why we base our programs and materials on six ethical values that everyone can agree on — values that are not political, religious, or culturally biased. Use the points below to help young people understand the Six Pillars, and use the mnemonic devices at right to help them remember.

    For a more detailed discussion of the Six Pillars, consult our book, Making Ethical Decisions, reprinted in part here.

    Trustworthiness
    Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat, or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends, and country

    Respect
    Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant and accepting of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults, and disagreements

    Responsibility
    Do what you are supposed to do • Plan ahead • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your words, actions, and attitudes • Set a good example for others

    Fairness
    Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly • Treat all people fairly

    Caring
    Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need

    Citizenship
    Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment • Volunteer

    (select one) Ethics of American Youth: 2008 Ethics of American Youth: 2006 Ethics of American Youth: 2004 Ethics of American Youth: 2002 Ethics of American Youth: 2000 Ethics of American Youth: 1998 Youth Sports Survey: 2006 Youth Sports Survey: 2004

  28. Tonia Jones says:

    Dr. Phil,
    I am outraged that children, parents and school administrator’s are still allowed to not be held accountable for their actions (or shall I say their lack of actions). I understand this father’s reaction to his daughter experiences with such horrific torture and silence from all in volved. It is easy for the school administrator’s to respond by blamming the parent of this violated student. That should have told you right there that the buck has been passed far too often and only continues when they are made to face their lack of responsibility in providing a safe and teachable environment for our children. My daughter also had to endure such horrible attacks including and up to a sexual assault. After countless of evenings spending with my daughter and documenting countless of incidents when my daughter would come home frustrated and in tears. I made a second visit to the school after a previous visit and phone call to the assistant principal but no avail. All that was been told to me was that they would handle it and then that they couldn’t get this other child’s parent into the office for a parent / teacher’s conference. Only after my daughter struck back to defend her self from the day in and day out abuse and hurt from no action taken by the teacher, counselors or administrator’s; and a male teacher aggressively grabs my daughter by her arm when she snapped and went after her attacker. This was the final straw. I had to aggressively step in and bring this to a halt for my child’s safety and peace of mind. It’s a shame this fahter had to go to this extrem but it’s time for parents to be accountable for their lack of action and their children’s behaviour. May God be with this father and his family.

  29. skidso ex trucker says:

    hello america, i have been reading all your words of strenght all of you post here on Dr Phil”s site, and i got to say, i can see more pain in your words then i ever saw in my life,as i read all of this it fills my heart with pure hatered and anger, as i know how most of you feel i thinh,but to set a reacord straight,yall i ain”t angrey at ANY of you,and i sure as heack do not hate any of you, each and every one of you have every right on God”s world to be as angrey as you are, im doing my best to keep all of my anger in check america, i got to tell you,let me tell yall a little about me, maybe you will get a close picture in your minds of what kind of a person i am, im 53, i have worked all of my life,and i got to tell you,i HAVEbeen in 48 of this great nation”s states from the east coast to the west coast,from the gulf state shores to the mountians up north as far as 5 miles from the Canadian border so i do feel in my heart i am as qualified to say i know how america lives, as Dr Phil is at telling America whear were all going wrong with our kids,no offence ment Dr Phil i mean that in a good way sir, i love america right down to ALL the children being born all across America, im not going to put a lable on ANY of these kids by seeing color of what church they go to or even if they go to church,I LOVE ALL OF YOU, no matter what state i ever stopped in all across America as a trucker to get a bite to eat, no on one from the yanks to the folks out west to the folks along the east shores to all the people on the gulf coast ever TREATED ME WITH NOTHING BUT LOVE,and no matter who ever said what ever to me on line no matter even if it were ugly I LOVE YOU TOO, i know your pain and anger aswell, i blame not our people of our nation for what,s going on, I BLAME ALL OF OUR NATIONS LEADERS INCLUDING ALL THE LOUSERS OF THIS ELECTION WE HAVE GOING ON THIS VERY MOMENT, with out all of you scattered all across America we would not have a AMERICA,your children are off fighting a war to save my life as i type,i am ashamed America,your children have not got to live life and see what life is even about,I SHOULD BE OVER THERE FIGHTING TO SAVE YOUR CHILDS LIFE, i already know what life is about and have lived it well, im poor as hell but i live well,and FREE thanks to your children,when i call them your children i do not mean to sound if i am taking there adulthood away from any one of these brave kids YOU have raised,no matter how old ANY of them are they will indeed always be your child,HOW can i sit here and expect ANY of you to have nothing but anger in your hearts when i know our nations leaders ARE THE ONES PUTTING IT THERE AND KEEPING IT THERE, all any of them want is a VOTE so they get a chance to get in office and get a peice of this great pie we all live in,and America can blame them ALL personaly for all the bullys in every state FOR IT IS THEY WHO DID THIS it was not you parents who had to leave your young children at home alone to work 2 jobs and some even 3 to keep a roof over your childs head,I BLAME YOU NOT, i am not a repub-democ-gop-tea pty, I AM ONE OF YOU, funny thing folks every where i went across america thought i had the top paying gravey job,and i guess in all honesty it was in a way, i got paid to sit on my rear and see our great nation while i did my best to get the every day things we all need to a store near you and me, while most of you were off living by your sweat and tears, i gave up truckin to be at home when the woman i was married to was pregnant with my son, i sure did not want to end up in a state over 3000 miles from home when it were time for me to met my child, i went to work making $5.00 a hour doing what ever i could, it kept the hell hounds off my door steap, now i sit and do not work,it aint cause i wont, i try to take care of my mom, now that i am single for the 3rd time now and my son is now 21 yrs old, heack mom is 78 and kind of poor health, on oxygen almost all the time so she sure as heack dont need to be cooking, ohh yeah i also as a cook, my last job i had was cooking in a waffle house, can you amagin that,went from a gravey job getting to look at all of america to cooking for the people in my local area, God do i have rocks in my head or what, nha i loved cooking there, i got to give back a little of what i got growing up,to the very people i got it from, folks i got to tell ya when i see what our goverment has reduced all of us too, no offince washington but i wish i had drug my feet getting there needs to them, when i had the chance, i would LOVE TO WATCH ANY ONE OF THEM JUST DARE TRY TO LIVE IN ANY ONE OF YOU WORKING SINGLE MOTHERS HOUSE ALONE FOR JUST 1 24 HR PERIOD, WATCHING YOUR CHILD FOR YOU AS YOU WORKED TO SUPPORT HIM/HER OR BOTH, i do not hate america nor do i hate what weve become, my god no matter how bad it gets we all had each other till our great leaders devided all of us into seperat groups as they have all of us in now, i got to tell you i have mom<s phone number on the nastional regertrs DO NOT CALL LIST, did not do this to keep a charity from calling, i did this to protect her peace of mind while her health is so bad,to keep her from jumping to run to the phone every 5 min"s may as well put up a big sighn over her house saying hey yall call br549, i got a call every few min today from every politican running from dog catcher to the next canadate for pres obamas spot in 2 years,every one who called i think used a auto pest device on me, asked if they could count on my support, i told every one of them YEAH. and i supported each and every one of them, i said as i hung the phone up i hope you win, was the best i could do yall, personaly i think we need to make the ones who screw America up work for a cut in pay every year till they fix our great natino and not let ANY OF THEM QUIT AND RETIRE, HELL NONE OF YOU CAN can ya? they would get off there rears and stop taking a dadburn break every time we look up calling it recess OMG whos the kids here yall, but i still LOVE ALL OF THEM TOO, i just do not have any use of there constant fighting in public when we try to be civil to one another,GROW UP ALL OF YOU BULLYS LEADING AMERICA, YOU TAUGHT OUR KIDS TO ACT THIS WAY BY USING KIDS TO DISTRACT AMERICA WHILE YOU SATOLD IT BLIND, but i still love ya, NOW FOR OBAMA look man or Mr President how ever ya want to see it,I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE, BET YOU NEVER GET IT THO AND IF NOT WHEN YA GET BACK TO WASHINGTON SIR FIRE WHO EVER IS RUNNING THAT DANG CONTACT THE WHITE HOUSE SITE CAUSE THERE NOT DOING THEAR DAM JOB, i sent ya a message IN 2500 cvarroctors or less, OMG io could not even tell you hello in that many letters, hire one of these online bullys mr president i guarantee you thay could respond to and read every message all of america cares to send you and file them for you so you can just pick out from what pile acording to how you feel that day sir, im going to post my message to you Mr President and just maybe your wife will read it and give it to you sir, i said, dear mr president, i do not care if you are a muslum,i do not care what color you chose your skin to be,i do not carewhear you were born,and i do not care whear you live, I LOVE YOU Mr Obama the way God would have me too. YALL THAT PERTTY MUCH SUMSUP WHO I LOVE.

  30. beast at heart says:

    hello shakinnasty, i never talked to a cyber being before, wow never knew Dr Phil had firends from a place i thought was not real, i read your message and wanted to tell you about my problem i have,i been leaving a bowl of dry cat food out every night for quite some time now,i only do this cause at my house i have found some poor cats i guess people just moved off and left to fend for them self,i got this one who comes by once in a blue moon i thought it was a male cat,God im so glad cats dont understand human launguage, at least i dont think they do, who knows they just may, well it turned out this poor dear is a girl cat, looks as if maybe she just been staying in the near by woods, i told her shes welcome here any time she wants to visit for a meal or just to let me show her some love the only way i know how,i lerned she was a girl just last night,shes about to have babies, and its starting to get cooler out side, i told her she can go under my house to give her babies when she delivers a safe place to keep them out of the weather, i dont think she understands me tho, i wish i could teli port her to have her babies to your world whear no one could harm her,some people in our world take the kittens and step on them crushing them to death for people who some how think it gives sexual pleasure, and the worst part is THERS VIDEOS ON LINE WITH LAWS TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO DO THIS MY GOD, if you can give Dr Phil a free teli tab can you send me a monster from your world i can turn louse on these people who do this and the ones who passed a law to allow it? i like your world from what i read about it, i never knew cyber world was real,i thought it was just empty space,any ways i cant bother dr phil with this you are right, he has a full callender trying to teach our worlds adults how to think as a adult, thear are alot of good humans in this world, i guess we just need to learn how to love each other a little better, i will watch over this mom to be i have on my porch and make sure no one will use her kids to make money selling videos of them stomping them to death, ask your Gods in cyber world if they can contact our Gods of real world and please help these poor creatures, he created them too and im 100% sure he will not aprove of this conduct, maybe when jesus comes to take the faithful up into heaven before he turns the real beast of the real world louse on us he will take all these poor animals with him aswell, they have no sin, im sure our Gods would want them first, me i can wait, I TRUST IN GOD.

  31. Misty Kofoid says:

    I don’t think teachers and staff are as tuned in as they need to be! My son is 9 with ADHD and is being bullied by his teacher. My happy fun loving son has been coming home depressed or angery. I have talked to his teacher 3 times to let her know I am aware of this. Then another teacher at the school, assistant principal and principal. Now I have a meeting with the teacher and the principal. I told them if he wasn’t removed from the class I would remove him from the school. Kids should feel safe at school and should really feel safe with there teacher.

  32. Dr Love says:

    WOW i know the cure to all your problems, but it takes time to work,and it has to start somewhear,what the heack ill get the ball rolling, but i cant hit too hard, ALLof you will have to see if Dr Phil will break out that one of those really cool looking krokay mallets i saw in his office and see if he can hit one through the hoops to the next person, hello muslums i love you,hello mexicans i love you,hello jews i love you wait a min here i know a much faster way to say this i am after all the doc of love, hello ALL of america i love every one standing on american soil, not to menchion ALL the rest of the soil around this planet,thats my job,will just one of you please return my love and go tell ANY one you love them,who you dont know, do it from a distance if you are afraid to say it up close, just haller it at them the lanuague of love is universal, every body has a little in them,it builds with use too, it refills its self ,try it youll LOVE it

  33. some one who just cares says:

    i do not know any words to comfort all of you in pain from all this bully mess,and from what i can understand in my mind boils down to this, just one child who has been bullyed by others is just one too many, i know i could go on forever at who i could point a finger at and probley be close on target, in my experance through life i have known and seen this very thing happen over and over,my heart tells me some of it is just kids acting out in a way they can strike back at a world they feel is against them,or are afraid to tell some one there being abused at home, there kind of passing the buck i guess, child abuse happens so much to children every day in so many differnt ways,but this mess on line has turned lethel to innocent kids all over the world, i have no cure, i can think of no cure,i pray all day and all night in my heart for God to give some one who will use it a cure we can all be a part of, one man or woman can”t do it, striking out at others over this will never solve it, we only draw our selves into a state of comformantable numbness, once in that state we stop feeling and thinking and by nature our anger takes over, guy”s and ladies,my heart aches for each and every one of you for i know that pain only too well, i am so afraid we may never find a cure to this problem before we kill each other off with pure hate, i cant speak my heart for children do come on here, so ill leave it at that,you adults on here know where im coming from, why do prayers take so long to be answered? when we pray for a entire world.

  34. kids ul love says:

    maybe some one should start a on line baby sitting site for kids to just be kids at, wish i were rich or played the lottery and hit it just once,i would give it all to Dr Phil to try to create a place just for kids.

  35. been there done that says:

    My first thoughts about the dad on the bus were split down the middle Dr Phil, but to be honest with you, he would have made a much louder statement had instead of hopping on the bus as he did, he went and applied for a positition as a bus driver, i do not think hes a bad man in any way,i know no one who would not make a fool out of him self over there child to protect them,to be honest with all of you he reminded me very much of my bus driver i had when i went to school, we kids did not cut up bully or act the fool and we sat down and kept seated till we were at our bus stop, for what its worth, i would have loved for him to have been my kids bus driver, my sons driver when he was in the 2ed grade made my kid get off the bus almost a half a mile from our house cause my son did not know what stop he was suppose to get off at, Dr Phil, and he put him off in fromt of a store with 2 very busy highways one in front of the store and the other along the side of the store,doc the driver was suppose to put my kid out at my house, he did not remember he picked up my kid there, and never came on the street i lived on,God took my son”s hand and walked him home to me while i stood out front waiting, my son could have been killed that day, i did not know whear he was and the driver claimed he put every child out whear he picked them up at, there was not a bus stop within a half mile from that store Dr Phil, it was a known drug dealing spot and forbidden to be used for kids period,God saved me doc, i was going to kill that man the next morning when he pulled up infront of my house, but all that would come out of my mouth was sir can you take a look at my sons face and please remember he lives here, yeah God saved me from prison,i chiped 3 teeth trying to tell him what was honestly on my mind and what was in my heart would not come out, yeah i understand the mans anger doc,and some one needs to be accountable for his child suffering from child abuse while in the bus drivers care, any ideas who to charge with child endangerment yall. not dad for dam sure.

  36. vince says:

    guys i am thankful i came here, i guess i was trying to find reason in my life, im sorry that i made a fool out of my self, i wish my foolish ways could have prevented a childs life from coming to a end in such a useless way, i know i had nothing to do with it but please forgive me beacouse i feel just as guilty as who ever posted bad hateful things about any child on the net on a site cause i was a net user, i guess the only solution is to stay off the net,what we cant see cant hurt any of us, my prayers go to all who suffer in any way, just had to let you guys know,I AM SORRY.

  37. vince says:

    dont know if this will make it or not i guess it depends on how mad i have made Dr Phil at me, but this is for online bully, i just have one thing to say to you bully, will you forgive me? i probley had a hand in creating you by cussing people out when i lost my temper at remarks that were made at me about being stupid man, i am not going to menchion the sites i did that on i cant hold them responcible over my stupidity, i know its hard to make a chat filter block bad words when only a few letters are used, i was wrong, i am punishing my self by removing my self from the net, and wish i had a way to ask all of america to forgive me for my filthy mouth on line, yall i am stupid i did not stop to think maybe one of your kids may be reading my words,kids are smart these days, way smarter then i ever been in my entire life, my last post was going to be my last but something inside me told me i need to ask your forgiveness before i unpluged, i can not make any exscuses for my crap,so i wont ask your forgiveness its up to you, even if i never talked to you still forgive me maybe when those sites i ever used potty mouth on deleit my accounte those hatefull words will be gone,all i could do was de-actavate my accounts, but they are all gone, ya may not beleive me but i do not blaqme you but time will prove ole vince is a man of his word if nothing else in this life,and online bully I LOVE YOU.

  38. frances waldrop says:

    you say all those ‘inocent children’ on the bus should not have had to listen to the threats. my coment is how come none of those children had the balls to stand up for the girl. even if it was only to report it to a teacher.
    my son would, and did – at age 10. he had a teacher who hit the kids with a ruler if they weren’t ‘paying attention’ he has learning disabilities and had put up with it for weeks, until she hit a new girl and made her cry. then he refused to go back to school.

  39. jim dandy to the rescue says:

    your child was very brave, he should be rewarded, as for justice, its being served in ney york, go ask that 4 year old child being sued, and its a law.

  40. reasoning of sanaty says:

    i can not measure the number of words it takes to kill,thear are so many,i guess it depends on a childs state of mind,i only know one word it takes to save a life with,LOVE. i ask our father in heaven to get it out before we louse another gift he sent to one of you. for your loss is everyones pain.in jesus name i pray amen

  41. A dad who understands says:

    dr phil i know im still punshing my self and i promiced not to disrupt your fourm again but i had to log on just long enough to tell ALL who want to know, sir God is very real,i wish i had a pic of my moms only car and a pic of my son a picture is worth a thousand words i was always told,i just want to tell yall God saved my child this day,he is real, i have no doughts sir, and im trying to find a way to ask you in a way adults can understand and not children who may be on your site sir we all know i got a bad case of potty mouth still,my heart tells me God wants to know if those men he heard about on the news figured out the shut down code to that hot baby there intertaning with there disco moves, and if he finds out his children see them he WILL SHOW THEM JUST HOW HOT THAT BABY IS AND ITS LIKE ICE COMPARED TO WHEAR HE IS ABOUT TOPUT THEM,I BELEIVE HE WILL TOO SIR PLEAS TELL THEM TO GO FIND A FIG LEAF IF THEY WANT HIM TO BE SURE SHE DONT BLOW,IF IT AINT TOO LATE THAT IS, I THINK HES MAD SIR. but i had to tell you about my miracle i got this day sir, thank you Dr Phil for allowing me to work out all these people i seem to think i am, i think i been playing games too long sir i got to get to work at home before mom takes a broom to me. God bless all in jesus name ill always pray sir.

  42. OUTRAGED PARENT says:

    I was confronted by the Father of the girl my daughter was threatened by. I went to the school to talk to the principal about it and they said they were going to handle it and never heard anything.

    He told his daughter it was ok to “deck another student”. She has been suspended numerous times before for fighting. This father also told me that he as dealt with his daughter’s behavior like this for 3 years. He stated that my daughter needed to thump her for a reality check.

    School counselor took it upon herself to bring my daughter in for counseling wanting her to brush all this under the rug. She never got consent from the parents to counsel our daughter. Where does she get the right to go behind our backs and parent our daughter?

    Where has the Superintendant been through all this? I am band from the school but the same girl that did the threatening was back the next day.

    Apparently, a Parent does not have the right to have their emotions run high when your kid is in danger. I raided my voice at the school and talked with my hands and I am a threat?

    The Superintendant refused to talk to us and has made no effort over the last 72 hours to contact us, but had the time to go to the school to type me a letter and give it to a Missaukee Sheriff to bring to me.

    The school has kept my child in harms way for over a week now and the school board has made no attempt t talk to us and resolve this. So how do you think my emotions are going to be when it’s your child?

    The Superintend ant has made strong accusations towards me without even knowing the whole story and how his employees have dropped the ball. Apparently, he doesn’t know what is going on in his school.

    How does a school counselor have the right to undermined a parents decision and destroy the integrity of a parent to the students threatening.

    I guess we are not allowed to be parents anymore and the school wants to take those rights from us. I was just praised by the Middle school principle for being an involved parent, now I am banded from the school.

    The school can not even give an aspirin to a student without the parents consent, but they think they have the right to send them to the counselor for counseling.

    1. Does a school have the right to force a kid into counseling to solve a known and continuous problem without the parents consent?

    2. Does the school have the right to keep our children in harms way from a student that has been suspended numerous times.

    3. As a parent, if your child was threatened bodily harm, do you have the right to be angry and have your emotions run high toward the school officials.

    4. Does the school board have the responsibility to sit down with the parents and find a solution?

    5. As a parent, if your child was threatened and left under continuous bullying, how would you react if the school was not doing their job?

  43. vinessa says:

    dr phil god told my heart to tell you to rock on he will know if it worked if he sees a special on your tv show, god loves all and dr phil is the smartest man on the planet, good idea doc, thanks and i can wait no problems on my end./ PEACE ON EARTH AND GOOD WILL TO all MY HEART SAID.

  44. As I am typing this there is a segment on the show about ADULT Cyber Bullying. This is the FIRST TIME I have ever seen a show on ADULT Cyber Bullying. I have been a victim of what is perhaps the most involved case of Cyber Bullying and Cyber Stalking that is out there.

    I have been the victim of this for over 3 years. I have been called a Pedophile, I have had people call law enforcement and tell them that I wrote to the father of a still missing child and claimed to know his whereabouts. I have been accused of stalking malls looking for children to molest.

    Someone called my brother and told him that I was a pedophile going around molesting and murdering children. They then took the call( that had been recorded) and played it on the internet.

    .Someone called my employer and threatened to sue them and take all of their assets if they did not fire me.

    I also had a used car dealership. These people put comments all over the internet saying that I was a crook and a scammer. I have had to go out of business.

    I am about to loose my house and all my belongings. I will be going from a custom built house to an old mobile home.

    I have gone to the police and to attys and they have said there is not one thing can do about.

    I am at my wits end. There is also someone who calls me every single day and has demanded that I commit suicide on video on the internet.

    On more than one occasion I have considered doing just that since all I have worked for for the past 60 years of my life is gone.

  45. Debbie says:

    If my child was being cyber bullied I would cut all access to all electronic devices and look for another school to give my child a fresh start. If a child is being cyber-bullied and the parents know about it, then why would parents allow the victmized child to continue to view email, facebook, cell phone, etc., Every time you allow your child to log into FB and the child sees mean things written about themselves only adds fuel to the fire. Cut the child off from it! The responsibility to help the victim has to come from both ends. Parents who think, “oh, it’ll blow over” or, “it’ll get better” are mistaken. Kids today have no sense of boundaries or limits and do not know when to stop.

  46. Yes, why would parents allow the victmized child to continue to view email, facebook, cell phone

  47. Cate from Oz says:

    1. Monitor your child’s internet and phone use.
    2. Teach them not to give out their details/phone numbers.
    3. Teach them how to log out.
    4. If your kid is a perpetrator, take away their access and punish them.

    The easiest way to make a cyber bully disappear is to click that little red square with the X at the top of the page.

    Having said that, the law needs to catch up with technology and people need to face some consequences for their bad behaviour whether they’re kids or not.

    In our modern society, it is unthinkable that a child should die because people have found out he is gay. It is an unnecessary tragedy. It breaks my heart that there is still this level of intolerance in our world.

    There’s too many excuses in society today.

  48. Utah says:

    Bully of people will not stop because TV and movies teach this to the world.

    UCR

  49. spookie says:

    @American Movie Watcher

    You are wrong about so many things, not just that Hollywood is two words. Movies don’t teach kids to be intolerant, intolerant parents do. If you treat people who are different from you differently, so will your kids. It’s not about sexuality, it’s about being different.

  50. spookie says:

    @cyber bullying

    In what way is it fair to take away the privileges of kids who are being bullied? So because other kids are behaving, not just badly, but illegally, a kid can’t use the internet or a cell phone, while the criminal keeps all his rights?

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