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October 29th, 2010 by Dr. Phil

Enraged Dad Sends Message about Bullying

dad9051Most parents would go to the ends of the earth to protect their kids from bullies. I know I would. But how far is too far? Is it ever appropriate to confront your child’s attackers?

That’s what James Jones reportedly did. His 12-year-old daughter, Chatari, who suffers from cerebral palsy, was allegedly being taunted by other kids at her Florida middle school. According to  Chatari, she had been pinched, hit and had condoms thrown at her. Fed up and enraged, James boarded her school bus to give the kids a piece of his mind. Now I can’t repeat everything he said, but a YouTube video shows the father cursing and threatening to kill anyone bullying his child.

James will be on Monday’s show to tell his side of the story, along with CNN contributor Roland Martin, who says James should be named Father of the Year. I wouldn’t go as far as rewarding his actions — storming a school bus, throwing F-bombs at children and threatening to give them a whupping. He definitely crossed the line, but I can understand a father’s frustration when he feels that his precious child is standing in the line of fire, and no one is doing anything to help. James, who was arrested after the incident, apologized for his actions, admitting that he acted like the very thing he was trying to protect his child from. He faces two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. I told James that if my kid had been on the bus tormenting his child, I would testify for him at his trial.

I’m not a Johnny-Come-Lately to anti-bullying. Bullies are nothing but cowards, and I believe we should have zero-tolerance when dealing with them. I’ve launched a campaign to raise awareness about this national epidemic, and I’ve testified before Congress earlier this year to ensure cyber safety. When you have a child with special needs, like Chatari, they are ill-equipped to fight back against their attackers. Somebody needs to stand up for them.

It’s tragic that our kids are taking their own lives just to get a bully off their back. What’s a parent to do? Do you sympathize with James Jones? How would you have reacted in the same situation? Did this father go too far, and does he deserve jail time? Let me hear from you.

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531 Responses to “Enraged Dad Sends Message about Bullying”

  1. vince says:

    our world has no problems understanding {HATE-PAIN-HEART ACHE- AND SORROW.} i for one am sick of those words and all that repersent any meaning to any of those words,at times i wish NO MAN WOMAN OR CHILD COULD SPEAK,dr phil my heart tells me that if we all would just spend 10min a day for 1 month learning the meaning to this 4 letter word called{L-O-V-E} our world could be a happy place for all. yeah that was my dream yall,i would give my life to get our troops home for christmas and see a worlod trying to show each other love instead of hate and ugly, if my flying saucer lands in my driveway im getting on it and putting as much cosmic dust behind me as i possibly can, this world is too damn mean,and children are not safe any whear on this damn planet. doc ill send ya a real teli tab as soon as i WALK ON MY FLYING SAUCER, ya dont have to die to board mine ROFLMAO, yeah this was some dream i had yall, i just wish i had God on my side to assist me and make people stop fighting. i have no faith any more dr phil, i only found one passage online from the bible, it said
    {and the meek shall inhearate the earth}, i understood this one doc,and i changed my religon to the meek, i am the meek!, roflmao dont you wish you were a skidso and could be as many people at one time as i can, LMAO, please forgive3 me dr phil, i laugh to keep from crying, now yall all get off my damn planet! you can stay doc, rent free forever.

  2. vince says:

    EARLEY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AT DR PHILS SITES AND STAFF LOCATED AT HIS STUDIO, HOPE YOU { L-O-V-E } THE TRUNK MONKEY FROM GOD, DOC, INCASE JESUS IS STILL MAD AT THEM CUTTING OFF HIS HEAD AND MAKING HIM HOLD IT ALL BY HIMSELF, YUP THAT MONKEY WILL GET US BACK TO BEING HUMANS FAST DR PHIL, GOD PROMICED, AND I TRUST IN GOD, AND LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART EVEN IF I GOT TO BE A MONKEY ALL OVER AGAIN, i hope ur not too mad at my trunk monkey doc,GOD told me to do that, he said you deserved a good laugh today sir.

  3. Brittany says:

    when i was in year ten i was bullied really badly.one day in particular one of my attackers gave me a letter that was threatening me to keep my mouth shut or she would deal with me herself.that was the stage my parents stepped in and my mother went against the protocol of the school and she rang the girl who had threatened me. the next day things were definietly better.my mum had managed to fix the problem by being an authoritive figure and saying what your doing is not okay. teachers had failed in the respect. i underdstand this man and the heart ache he has experienced,people just dont care anymore about the reprocutions of their actions.

  4. vince says:

    i wish with all my heart that dad would get all the kids who were on that bus and all there parents to gather and throw a pqarty for those kids to show them he really did not mean what he said, dr phil, our anger can turn all of us into satan himself, and we know not what we say when that happens,if it were up to me, i would forgive that man for making a dam fool out of him self, shoot god loves fools too, i wish you just had a fraction of a idea at what all took place inside my mind dr phil, i had God roflhao,lol the god i love loves to laugh, thats why he created comedy,shoot yall i do not mind making a fool out of my self if i make God smile for even just a second of his time, i guess thats why god made me a skidso so i could be all the actors at once, also ummm dr phil,i have to ask ya this even tho i will never get a answer from you personaly but if you just think the answer for me God will put it in my heart what to do, i had to attend aa-na bsa, meetings, heack i liked alot of the speakers, some made me fall asleep talking about how they went to all stores and buying all the ingreadents to cook up there own drugs ,roflmao, dam dr phil they were giving me ideas cause i am a drug addict,and when i cant get any drugs, i become a bullie, all in my mind tho sir, my point is na says NO DRUGS AND IT WORKS, well dr phil there damn liers, they all take the sht a doctor gives them to take, no drugs means none of ANY KIND TYPE OR STYLE, so ya see with them forcing GEODON on me na is a lie to me, doc i am totaly lost, and i got potty mouth something terrible,but i work on my problems each day i wake up, i know in my heart God will not make me go through nothing i cant handle sir, im workin off my sins while im alive sir, cyber prison aint for me, its too frikkin hot in there.and dr phil if its in your heart please forgive me for putting you in the middle of my moment of totaly stupidity, but i saw a sighn sir, and doc YOU DID fire that mystry missle i saw you do it roflmao. you sent out a S-O-S hehehehehe God heard it too i think. no matter what ever happens i L-O-V-E all.

  5. Bonnie says:

    I wish I had parents that would of helped me when I was bullied,I carry years of pain and had low self-exsteem through out life. No teacher said No! Stop hitting Bonnie In the back of the head.Stop Calling her names, stop spraying like she has bugs.Stop laughing and calling her names. I would of done something If my daughter would of went through the hell I went through as a child. I guess you need to be in the persons shoes , Hey this guy snapped out of love for his child. We as parents need to protect our children because if we don’t as adults they my be scared emotionally for the rest of their lives.this father did use poor judgement that day ,but I feel that the bullying was pulling on his heart strings
    for the love of his child.,

  6. jim kluvers says:

    I am with him totaly my boy who just turned 11 was at a football game at the highschool and some of his boddys was textin a boy that liked the same young lady my boy liked he started saying how he was goint to kick my boys *** and beat him up cuz he was stronger well my boys buddys told him about what the other child had said so he text him back and said he was going to get him monday at school cuz he aint scared of him monday my child got off the bus walked rite over to him and pushed him down the kid ran off and my boy left it at that a little later a police man cam to my kids class and pulled him out and said he was bein charged with battery and was suspended from school latter that day i got many text from other parents some i have know idea who they are sayin they wish my child had done more because the child he pushed was a bully in the class room on the bus and over the phone so i took it up with the school sayin that i agree my child needed to be punished but why wasnt the other child punished as well they said what he did didnt voilate any school policy because it didnt happin on school grounds or with school property or on school time so there was nothing they could do now mind u this all started at a high school football game and when i mentioned that they told me that was a public event not a school event ???? well to make a long story short this kid still to this day gets away with all kinds and mi child has a record at 11 for pushing someone that called him on there is so much more to this story but that is the short of it so i dont blame Mr Jones for what he did the sad part is he like my kid has problems now for other kids actions that the schools turn there heads away untill someone else takes action

  7. jim kluvers says:

    wow i posted a comment on here dec 6 about bulling of my kid and how the school didnt hanlde it and today front page news and all the news channels are talking about bulling and hazing by some high school kids and how a Year ago a boy was attacked (more than once) in sept of this year they found out about it the familys of the boys have prominent names in the community and are off to collage what really is eating me up is two of these boys coached my 10 year old in football thid fall and my 15 year old this spring for football why wait september tell now and nothing was said why hold out on something like this and possably let it continue to other kids why did the school keep so hush hush if i had known about it they sure as heck would not have been coaching my boys

  8. Candy says:

    I feel like the dad did the right thing in the situation. I mean the words that he said was harsh but he spoke out of love for his child . You just have to be in the childs shoes. I was bullied as a child even in my teens my mom NEVA took up for me i had low self esteem and everything. i even thought i was ugly. and now that i have a child i will protect my child in every way possible.and for those pathetic parents that children bullied that lil girl shame on them and none of them even said sorry.

  9. noloveforh8 says:

    i am all for what the dad did. seriously, imagine yourself in his shoes. how unbearable it would be to watch your child suffer! sure, he dropped a couple of f-bombs. but seriously, THE KIDS PROBABLY USE THAT WORD THEMSELVES. especially if they are already throwing condoms at a little kid. seriously, what has the world become?

  10. libby choate says:

    Last Thursday my 9 year old granddaughter was in her math class and her teacher called her up to the front of the class and started yelling at her and then asked the class how many of you have been bullied by her and she told me 11 kids raised there hands. She said she started to cry and said she had not bullied them and then the teacher looked at her and said to her in front of the “we all know you like Daniel” and my granddaughter was so embarrassed she said she cried all day in school. Now if I can go back a little bit and tell you how all this started. A few weeks ago three girls in her math class decided that they didn’t want my granddaughter to sit at the same lunch table with them any more so they kicked her off the table and made her eat with the kindergardeners. My granddaughter told her 13 year old sister and 17 year uncle and they got on her facebook account and wrote some stuff that her friends saw. She didn’t know they had gotten on her facebook before it was to late. So that is why all those kids raised there hands in class. Now my granddaughter doesn’t want to return to school because she is afraid of that teacher. How do you stop a teacher from bullying a child. Isn’t a teacher suppose to teach and nuture children!

  11. debrarae says:

    He did the right thing. The bus driver did nothing, the principal, teachers, and the school all failed that girl. So he gets on the bus and gives those brats the scolding of their lives! I say good for him, and thank G-d that (unlike my parents) …..he didn’t just tell his little girl …..HE didn’t want to hear about it!

    Parents who refuse to even ‘attempt’ to protect their children ….enrage me!

    Under no circumstances should he have to be penalized for doing the right thing for his child! And shame on the parents who protect the bullies they raise!

    My kids know under no circumstances are they allowed to bully anyone or anything!

  12. debrarae says:

    Libby ……….you take the bullies who lied about her on her facebook page, and that asinine teacher …..you get a lawyer ….and YOU SUE! Take them down!

    That’s the reason no one messes with me! If my kids do anything, students and teachers know to come to me …..and not even attempt that crap!

  13. debrarae says:

    Candy, I was bullied too. And like you, my parents NEVER took up for me! And the reason ‘why’ I was bullied was that I was the only JEW in a public school. My parents screamed at me when I complained ……….SHUT UP! WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! I put up with the bullying the entire time I was in middle school, with NO ALLYS at ALL!

    Then my sister sister cut a class on Senior ’skip’ day (FYI – SHE was NOT a SENIOR), and the teacher penalized her. My parents went on a tangent then, screaming that the high school discriminated against ‘her’ because she was JEWISH! They got HER SORRY BUTT, and my brother transferred to a different school. And then they were angry, because by default …. the next year … I’d be going to ‘that’ school too.

    And my mother want to know …..’why’ I never call! It’s because I will never spread HER POISON to MY KIDS! Negative #$*&$%^!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Shari says:

    Schools are full of bullies… from the top, down. Every time any school develops a student bullying problem, start looking at the administrators, board members, teachers first. Get the adult bullies dealt with/arrested, put in people with zero tolerance and the schoolyard bullies will likely settle down at school.

    But we have to start at the TOP to end the rampant bullying in our schools, in our workplaces, in our whole society.

  15. Angela D. says:

    Kudos to you, James!!!!
    When I first saw this clip on the news I was shocked, however, after hearing all sides of the story I switched positions! All I see now is a father who loves his daughter and will do anything to make her life a little bit better.
    I had a teacher grab my head once and be physically abusive to me, (and I was a good student) only to have my abuse go unpunished. I had no one to stand up for me. (In fact, I only went home to more abuse.)
    Yes, the circumstances are a little different as my abuser was a teacher and these were students, but I am sure the embarrasment and shame is the same.
    I would do the same thing, and I bet she doesn’t have any more problems from these kids.
    Thumbs up!!!!!!!!

  16. Cynthia Annett says:

    Yes there are some kids who commit suicide because they have been bullied but the majority of suicides are from mental illness. It’s too bad that we are always blaming outside forces when a person takes his life instead of realizing that the child, teenager or young adult has a physical problem which can be called a “brain disorder”. A person who takes his life is not thinking clearly and feels that there is no way to end his misery which in many cases is in his own mind. I’ve noticed that you never talk about the signs of bi-polar disorder, shizophrenia, or clinical depression. Many children and teenagers develop symtoms of these illnesses at an early age. Mental illness is never discussed for what it is – a physical disorder of the brain which with proper medication and therapy can be kept in control although never really cured. If more people understood mental illness there would be less crime, fewer homeless people and many more people who would understand what an affected family member or friend is going through.

    Cynthia Annett

  17. I sympathize with Mr. James and I believe that he let anger get the best of him as we sometimes do when we have been repeatedly victimized. I hate that he lost it and innocent children became victims too. If just one person had stood up for that little girl this would not have happened. Although, I realize that this does not justify Mr. James behavior. Often bullies are cheered, celebrated and protected. I believe those that ignore and/or support bullying should be held accountable too. However, in lieu of everything, I hope the courts will be lenient on Mr. James.

    I was a victim of bullying and I know that when you are unsuccessful in commissioning the help of others (especially those in authority) it is frustrating. I also believe that instead of bullies being encouraged and celebrated they should be awarded a star on the hall of shame site; a site that I am thinking about starting. My bully name Rebecca A. Holt and Bayer Human Resource personnel Theresa Anne Englebrecht eradicate all acts of harassment from her record so that she can attack as a first time offender. The years of harassment and bullying included temper tantrums, delusional letters, and cussing, stalking, threatening, and even striking victims. I was one of several victims and Bayer Human Resource Personnel believed that our bully should be protected because “one of her black lovers made her act like that.” My/Our bully was not 15, not 25 but 52. Being bullied is stressful and debilitating, especially when others watch with their eyes WIDE open.

    I believe Mr. James is a good man and father and again, he is remorseful and he should apologize in a special way. What he did was wrong but, tell me, what do you do, when you’ve done all that you can do and no one listens, helps, cares?

    First Lady Bayer

  18. ida says:

    i have a child that is being bullyed and i have told the people who work in his kindergarden and i have spoken to the bullys parents. fore a wile everything was ok. but now he came home and told me the bullys had hit him down on the grown, kicked and beat him! my heart is breaking!
    so i have full understanding fore this father! threatening to kill a child is over the edge, BUT i am close to getting to this state my self!
    i give him my full symphatie and understanding!!! a parent is desperate to be able to protect there children!!! when we try every way to protect them in the right way and dont get any where we will do what ever it takes to get the problem fixed ourselfe, every way possible!! there is not a thing i wount do to make every day of my childs life happy! bullying can harm a person for life!! if my child was one of the cids on the buss that hadent bullyed, i would talk to him and explane why this father was so angry! this father can NOT in any way be punished for this episode!!!! he has apolegised for his hard words! point the finger at all the other people, who did nothing in this case. they are in a way as resposable for his childs pain as the bullys!

  19. jen says:

    My 12 year old has struggled with the same bully’s for so long writing mean things on face book pushing him around at school dances calling him terrible names at school. The other day He was walking home and on of the bullies called him out saying what you to much of a baby to fight me?? My son said i dont want to fight its not gonna solve anything, the bully took 3 or 4 swings and missed so my son hald off and cracked him then said im not fighting and walked away called me to come get him crying I hurt my Hand. I took him to the emergancy room and in deed his hand is broke. I took everything to the school the facebook chats and everything 3 days later still nothing solved and the bully’s are still calling him names. What is a mom to do?

  20. Ruth Ann Hart says:

    I must say Mr. Jones did not do anything wrong. I myself was bullied when I was in school and wish there was someone to assist me. I had epilepsy since I was very young and had a very hard time in school as well as with family get-togethers.

    The first I really recall the bullying I had started a new school. A boy who was not only in the same grade I was, but also rode the same bus to and from school, started teasing me by saying if someone touched anything I had already touched they would “get cooties”. I started geting very shy and quiet in school and have always wished I was able to talk with someone I could trust.

    Being the oldest of 7 children (all within 7-3/4 years) and 38 grandchildren, it was hard to talk with an adult in my family. My father was always working and what time he had free he played with all us children, and mom was always attempting to see we all did our homework, daily chores and were ready for bed at the appropriate time.
    During my junior and senior high years mom was taking someone to and from an activity in the evening and at night she would work. My grandmother would be at the house after dad left for work and prior to mom coming home. It was very seldom that I would even see mom in the morning as she walked home from work.

    When the family get-togethers came at holiday time and the annual reunion, I was ignored by cousins (due to the epilepsy) and many times would walk back to the house due to being ignored. (The get-togethers were always at my grandparents which was about half a mile from our house.) When I got in my teens mom told me to keep quiet and if I did speak I was yelled at after she came home.

    A few years after my school years, I became very involved with non-profit organizations and really enjoyed assisting individuals with various disabilities due to what I went through during my earlier years. Sure, there some who noted that my disability was “mental” and not “physical” enough they would note that I didn’t belong in that organization. Thanks to my father, who gave me the transportation as it was needed, I was not only able to become a member to several disabled organizations but was elected to serve on their Board of Directors as well as the State Boards of 2 disabled organizations.

    After sponsoring a reunion of members who attended a rehab center, including myself, I was asked by the local congressman to form a group for disabled citizens.
    After forming this group I was asked to take over as Liaison to International Year of Disabled Person in 1981 for our county commissioners. Also, I served as Liaison to National Year of Disabled Persons in 1982 and the first 6 years of Decade of Disabled Persons (1983-1992) when I moved out of the Westmoreland County.

    By serving in these various positions I learned not only that there are many others who are worse off than I was, but that I could be of some assistance to them in one way or another. There was a gentleman with spastic cerebral palsy and I learned to understand “Buddy” after we met in 1971. While I was in charge of all the annual banquets for the disabled I also learned there were various public officials who were willing to assist the disabled in whatever manner they could. (At each banquet I had “Buddy” say the opening prayer or benediction. Assisting him in eating wasn’t hard and he really had a good time the one year a county commissioner assisted him.)

    I have been asked to serve a general manager to a program which will provide a resource of information concerning education, health, recreation, safety, housing and economic development to families, schools and communities which will assist contributing to the success of a comfortable and functional family unit and community. (We are in the early stages of this program and hope to have it started by this summer if we are able to find a building and finances to do so.

  21. Carlene Wilson says:

    There are two things that are at the heart of the matter in my life.
    Bullying and domestic violence.
    I truly wish that I could talk to you about it, as I am needing help.
    Or perhaps my story can help others see that they are not alone.
    I honestly believe that both of these issues need to be addressed at the utmost in society today…simply because people need to realize that with both, people are being ruined…our children are being ruined.
    And lives are ending much too soon.
    I saved my son from bullying at his school by pulling him out to home school him.
    The school here was not helping him and instead of addressing their problems, they tried making me look like a horrible parent by outright lying to keep me from homeschooling him.
    It got to the point that I had to call advocates and then the school was finally caught in their games and I was capable of pulling my son to homeschool him.
    He has grown more stable and sure of himself everyday!
    This is awesome news, right?
    Well theres one thing missing…socializing…learning how to get along with people…these are skills that still need to be learned.
    But how do you do this when that very school is flooded with bullies?
    And its not just the students, its the teachers and the staff.
    And they not only bully the kids, they bully the parents as well.
    There are from what I understand 3 parents suing the school over situations similar to mine.
    There has been a lot of talk about bullying in the schools, and its prevalence, but it still continues today and unfortunately seems to be worsening.
    What can we do to stop this?
    What kind of action will it take to finally rid this very pressing problem?
    And then theres the domestic violence…I’ll post in the right forum for that one…but these are linked.
    Would love to talk to you personally more about these things.
    Its simply amazing how one problem can bleed into others like falling dominos.

  22. Nan says:

    I would have done the same thing, if I had alreted school officials and the same things were continuing with the same people, and to add on to it if my daughter was disabled in any way shape or form, Im not sure if i would have cursed or not, but I deffinately would have had a few choice words for the students on that bus. I can actually say from experience that I would, when my little sister was being pushed around and have pranks pulled on her and being called names every day, and I dont mean just childish names, I mean hurtful gut wrenching names. I stood up for her when the prinicpal wouldn’t. I had to put a stop to it if I hadn’t I honestly do not think my little sister would still be here today.

  23. mariana kaegebein says:

    I need some to help me remember the show where a young man has a site to help people tell what they can’t tell another human being. It was a site that gave freedom to express failing from the past that still haunt us. He said that it helps drop suicide rates.

    I personally need to use that site to express somewhat has haunted me for so many years. The shame that goes with it, seems more than any confession I have made. My body is wracked with pain, my mind is needs medicine so that the hole of depression does not swallow me up. I was hoping that this website could help me be more free and that my body and mind do not have to continually suffer from past misdeeds. Please help me find that site. I would be most grateful. Thanking you in advance, Mariana

  24. Laurie says:

    Good for this Dad..If nothing was being done by the school or bus driver ..good for him..I understand that he lost his temper and went a little too far…..however I have a special needs child and I cried when I saw this show…the schools and bus companies do not protect our children being bullied… THE parent needs to be the advocate. HOW dare anyone bully another child or person..the apple doesn’t fall far from the cart..BTW why is there a law in my school system or in my state..CT that the parents are not allowed to know who is bullying their child or what the consequence is…I would siue the school systdem in a heart beat. My son with autism was made to show his penis to other boys in elementary school in the bathroom..I know exactly why this dad did what he did..maybe it showed the other kids what happens when u bully someone and they will all remember …and learn..I know it was drastic but so was whjat happened to his daughter.

  25. Liz C says:

    I had to do something similar for my son when he was in first grade. They bussed high school students with elementary students. They were stuffing bloody paper towels in his mouth, hitting, pushing him, etc… I notified the principal 3 times, on phone and in person. He did nothing…I got on the bus the next day, when the bus was leaving the school in the afternoon getting ready to pick up the high schoolers. I would not get off when the principal told me too and said they were going to call the police. I asked him to do so and call the news/media at the same time so this can be made public and show the public how the school system was run. The assistant Superintendent showed up and promised to take care of the problem if I agreed to get off and let him get on to find out who was doing all of this to my son and to stop this abuse. I did get off and he kept his promise.

  26. Stassa LMay says:

    I agree that youcan go too far to protect your children. Iko that my son in still in elementary school (for another week and a half) and he has been bullied by the same children for the 3 years he has attended this school. The school administrators are ware of the situation but have done nothing to resolve it. I have ben tempted to take matters in to my wn hands but have refrained. The bullying has recently went farther to include physical violence and the pricipals advice to me was that my son needed to figure out what he does that annoys these children so that they leave him alone. The superintendents office suggested I justride out the rest of the year and contact the middle school principal to tke preventitive measure for next year. When do these children have to become accountable for ther actions? There is supposed to be a zero tolerance policy for bullying but I have yet to see it enforced. If the schools would take more action parents would not feel the need to take matters in to their own hands. I definitely understand this father’s frustration and actions but do think he went too far!

  27. Elyse Razzeto says:

    Dear Dr. Phil,
    I have a nineteen year old daughter with cereabal palsy, deaf in one ear 40% lost in other and severe learning problems. We were in the LAUSD school district up until sixth grade.
    I chose for her not to be main streamed because of theBULLIES. Teachers just looked the other way. I am so PROUD of that father.I too have comforted the children that were so mean to her. We are now in NorthCarolina and ended up paying $20,000.00 for a privates school. The special ed. class in our district said they are just babysitters. I continue to protect her and I would do the same thing as that father.

  28. Larae Mitchell says:

    I do understand this father’s frustration, I believe cooler heads prevail and too often humans are afraid of what they do not understand. Perhaps these parents should get involved in educating these children about their daughters condition. Some bullies are just generally mean and everyone is a target, some are keeping something or someone away from themselves due to fear or lack of understanding, these are children that would not generally bully. I like your question about where are the parents of the bullies but I believe too often in this country we get wrapped up in our “rite” to have things this way or that and refuse to do simple things to make the lives of our loved ones easier. yes bullies and parents should be addressed but in the meantime why are these parents still putting this child on the bus, you will go to any lengths to protect your children unless it means you have to be late for work or miss your soaps to take them to school. the kids come first, educate the bullies, protect the “victims”

  29. Becky says:

    I totally agree with this dad! What is up with the bus driver, he just looked away! I am totally enraged by these BULLIES, it is ridiculous! I agree Father of the Year!! Do not apologize! Kids need this! He should not be facing criminal charges! It all goes back to the parents, if they were doing their jobs at home this would never be an issue!!

  30. Laura Kelly says:

    I would have done the exact same thing. Just hearing this brought tears to my eyes cuz I was bullied in school. I commend him for standing up for his daughter. Kids thesdays are ruthless.

  31. Isaac Roman says:

    That father has a good heart. Every father including my own has shown me they cannot defend there own child, but that father OMG he has shown he is worthy as to be a very protective father. I would knight him and shower him with bliss. Every parent must step up or show they are cowards that they showed tell kids let fear fear there life. If I was a parent and my child was abused and tortured like that. I would explode with so much rage that god forbid nothing would hold me back from hurting that child. Dr. Phil I believe that one thing that children need to know is that when a child ask for help even if it has to kills the parent them to get there lazy ass of the couch. They should and must receive that help. And if you want a perfect example of a school full of violence, abuse, rape, neglection, and many teachers even the administrators. Go to Lawerence Central High School and I guarntee you once you go there you will know that a school like should be called a juve instead of a safe learning environment. The father has shown his worthyness as a good father and I wish he would be my father.

  32. K Russell says:

    It is MY responsibility to make sure MY children are safe. You better believe that if my children are being hurt in any way, I will take care of it. Our school has an anti bullying policy also and I see no difference. Schools do not want to get involved. DO NOT allow your child to be harrassed, bullied, or hurt. DEMAND something to be done. DO NOT ALLOW ANY child to be harrassed, bullied, or hurt. I sure won’t.

  33. Rudy vecchio says:

    First n foremost, the school n the law take way to long to fix the problem! The laws in this country are for those who commit such crimes as bullying.. I personally would have gone to the bullys home n beat down the father who spawned such an evil kid!!!this father did NOTHING WRONG!!!!

  34. al ray says:

    The Father who got on the bus and stood up for his daughter was not out of line. He was protecting his daughter. Who else would have? Not the other kids, or the driver. THE BUS DRIVER SHOULD BE DISCIPLINED FOR LETTING THAT HAPPEN!!
    The schools are NOT helpful in these situations. They either look the other way, or engage in ridiculous games like ‘circle time’ so kid’s can ’share their feelings’. While that is appropriate in some circumstances, it is not in bullying situations. The poor kid just gets bullied more!!! If the schools can’t protect our kids while they are at their school, then the parents must step in.

  35. K says:

    I applaud James!! Although I never told my parents about the teasing & bullying that I experienced on a daily basis as the only child w/CP attending a public school, parents need to TEACH their children that it is not ACCEPTABLE to taunt others for being different. CP is a congenital condition that noone has control over getting & it’s difficult enough to personally accept that you aren’t able to do everything that other kids do……..requires IMMEASURABLE strength.

  36. A C says:

    What has america come to ? These parents brought their kids into this world that makes them responsible for their kids actions until they are no longer minors . I am proud of that father who got on that bus and stood up for his daughter. The schools may say they have a no tolerance in effect but they dont uphold the rules. I would’ve done the same for my son . That Dad deserves FATHER OF THE YEAR . We are here to protect our sons and daughters. irresponsible parents or parents who dont care what their kids do need to pay attention and be PARENTS. They have cameras on the school bus to protect the kids. The school bus driver should have driven to the school and got the principle immediately to report the abuse and bullying . NO EXCUSES/not acceptable. I dont think the father should be punished however I think all the kids that are bullying and their parents should be punished. Good LUck to that Family.

  37. Peyton says:

    I am 13 years old and I only wish that my parents would stand up for me like that. There is no way that would fly with any parent. It is ridiculous that any human would be able to do that to someone. Let alone someone with a special need. I feel so sorry for her that someone would do that to her and make her feel the way she did. The bullies obviously don’t have a stable household or good parents because the 12 year old kids have condoms! These kids are carrying around condoms but him getting on the bus cussing is a problem? That’s messed up!

  38. Misty Jackson-Green says:

    I believe that parents can go too far when trying to remedy bullying but I also know that bullies are not held accountable for their actions. I was bullied my entire life, my entire life. From elementary through adulthood I was bullied. The difference in my story is that I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t think I could. I dealt with it myself and just lived through it. Now, I wish I would have told my parents what was happening because I know they would have taken care of the problem the right way, and without me even knowing about their intervention. They protected me against an abusive coach and I had no idea that they had done anything, all I knew was that suddenly his attitude toward me and how he treated me took a 180 turn and went in the opposite direction of how it was.

  39. Mary Beth says:

    Kudos to Mr. Jones. I don’t care how strong the language was that he used…it was justified. These bullys certainly spared no feelings in their actions or words toward this darling girl. Why should they be treated with any kindness or respect. These are sick children who need serious psychological help…along with their parents. And as far as the schools goes, their zero bullying policies, and lessons in the classroom are a disgrace to the system. When my daughter was bullied because of a physical condition, I got “imagine what it would be like if we had no bullying policies”. What…she would be beaten to a pulp as well as stripped of self-esteem? Thanks to Dr. Phil for airing this show. My 9 year old daughter stood up and applauded for that sweet girl. And you spoke directly to her with your kind words. Thank you

  40. yitta says:

    I am not tying to encourage violence but kids can be very mean. I mean look at the teen suicide rate, mostly caused by bullying! The father was just trying to look out for his daughter and I’m sure any parent would do the same. School’s dont do enough!

  41. Caring says:

    I’m just so sorry this father had to go though this. But more so for his daughter. I feel James lashed out for fear of the unknown. More adults need to learn what to do.

    I feel that the bus driver was not caring out his responsibility. To protect the children.

    My blessing go out to James and his daughter.

  42. Georgia says:

    If the school has a nice policy. Why do we have kids being bullied. Good for him. I would have done the same. 35 years ago when my kid came home and told me that this boy was bothering her. I went to school and told him off. and that was the end of the bulling.
    and the next time she came home telling me a girl was pushing her down. I told her to stand up for her self. She was 1/2 the size compare to this other girl. But she pushed her back and that was it. The girl got scared.
    The more we look scared. The more these kids will do the bulling. Because these kids have being bullied and they try to prove that they are brave. They think all the people know that they are not strong. They are scared and lonley kids.
    They do not know how to say lets be friends.
    Do not be scare of bullies. Speak up, tell, do not be afraid.
    They are bullies, because they are not strong. They are scared.

  43. JR Spencer says:

    Dr. Phil close your eyes for a second and picture this bullying happening to your little granddaughter. What if you did report the bullying and the School System did nothing. What would you do to stop it? The parents can not control the kids. These kids can be very cruel and sometimes inhuman. They are not afraid of the Law. This speech by Dr. Julia Hare sums it up!

    My favorite part of Dr. Julia Hare’s speech at the State of Black America – 2007 is:

    When they took discipline away from the parents, we found out that:

    The teachers were afraid of the Principals.

    The principals were afraid of the Superintendents.

    The Superintendents were afraid of the School Board.

    The School Board were afraid of the parents.

    The parents were afraid of the the children.

    The Children WERE NOT afraid of anyone!!!

    We need to send these kids that bully others a message, enough is enough!

  44. Diane says:

    I’m watching what I think is a repeat of a man getting on his daughters school bus and yelling at the bullies who have been terrorizing his daughter. I can’t help but commend him. Although, there were innocent childrne on that bus who were scared, I can’t help but feel that that fear is nothing in comparison to the fear this man’s daughter felt everyday.
    I am the parent of a child who has been bullied and has been for the the last 4 years. We have addressed it with the schools and they do nothing. At the end of each school year, they will acknowledge it but they always acknowledge at the end of the year because they do not want to accept the fact that bullying ‘might’ be an issue and they dont want the negativity being brought to their school.

    In March 2011, my son was sitting in the hall eating his lunch by himself. That is what he always did to avoid his lunch being stolen or thrown in the garbage by other kids. Unfortunatly, we have many examples of what he endured during his lunch hours.
    During this particular lunch, 3 boys from the next grade higher than himself (my son is now in grade 6), starting calling him fag, gay, homo…go back to where you came from. This was because my son was sitting there with his legs crossed. From there, they started throwing balls at him. He did what he has been told in the past. He got up and walked away to the Drama room which was locked. They followed him and continued throwing balls at my son. My son grabbed one, threw it down the hall. They threw another ball, he grabbed it and held onto it that time. It was then, the boys ‘became’ angered and put him in a chokehold and punched him repeatedly. A lunchtime supervisor came around the corner, told all the kids to get outside. My son did the next thing he was told, “TO SPEAK TO AN ADULT.” She said, “I don’t care…all of you outside now.” The taunting continued once outside.

    After school, he came hoem in tears and told us. We wrote a letter. It was ignored. We wrote a second letter. That as well was ignored. Spring Break came and went and on the Tuesday after Spring Break, we wrote a third email demanding a response. The councillor finally responded that she had been busy and was sorry for not responding. That day, she took my son through the school looking for these kids. He identified them and we were followed up with a phone call that the Vice Principal would be interviewing the three boys and Cole and the outcome would be advised. We werent. We had to ask our sone what happened. It was then we were told that the Vice Principal called our son a bully as well because he held onto the ball being thrown. We followed this up with a phone call requesting a meeting. Finally AFTER another week, the VP called us. Note: it was then 6 weeks since the incident occurred.
    During this phone call, the VP confirmed what happened based on our son’s accoutn was in fact correct. The three boys admitted it. She went further to say how she explained to the boys that sitting cross legged in North America is not as accepted as it is in Europe and CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR CONFUSION. She went on to say that possibly my son ‘triggered’ the attack by sitting crosslegged.
    The three boys had nothing done to them. They were not suspended, expelled, or even have their parents called.
    The most ironic thing in all this was during an incident in February, our son was beat up. AT that time, they found pictures of him hurting himself. He was referred to crisis councillor at a local hospital where it was determined that our son is at a low risk to hurt himself. This diagnosis was on “Wear Pink – Anti Bully Day’.
    It was 3 weeks after this when our son was accosted in that hallway.

    I asked the school what they planned on doing about this. They said they would walk him to his classes and at lunch allow him access to a room to eat in private. I said great start but he is not a caged animal so what as a school and administration did they plan on doing to educate the students so this didnt happen to another student. She was very proud to state how they had ‘Power Hour’ the week before.

    The school designated 1 hour for anti bully education.

    I do not believe that the schools want to admit when there is a problem. Its all bureaucratic. I do not believe that parents nowadays have been educated about the severity of what constant words and physical behavior can do to a person.
    There has to be a zero tolerance to bullying.

    Shortly after the issues and meetings. My son was pushed down and kicked in front of the administration office. He fought them back. The school called me in for a immediate meeting as they felt his response was out of line…I told them I would call them back in 6 weeks with my response. After that, we pulled our son from that school and forwarded the emails where they stated our son triggered the attack to the School District, the media and the police.

    Something has to be done and I applaud that man for standing up for his child. As a parent of a bullied child, I’ve discovered the only person who can do anything is the parent and to react immediatly. Dont wait. Act immediatly at the first sign of bullying.

  45. Reesah says:

    When my daughter was in Elementary School, she was bullied every day by another child from our neighborhood to the point where my daughter couldn’t even play outside because of this. Since this bully was bigger than my daughter, I told my child that she would probably need an equalizer in order to defend herself. That equalizer wound up being an old broken fiberglass fishing pole. We didn’t have any more problems at home once my child used her equalizer a few times leaving numerous welts on this bully. But, the bullying continued on the school bus. I complained to the school but, the bullying continued. So, I decided that since the Bus Driver and the School either couldn’t or wouldn’t put a stop to it, I finally gave my daughter permission to do whatever she had to do defend herself on the bus. There came a point where my child had ENOUGH. The bully was getting off the bus and as she was walking down the isle of the bus, she popped my daughter in the head just as she had been doing for weeks. But, this time the bully wound up doubled over trying to catch her breath after my child elbowed her in the stomach as hard as she could. The same thing happened for the next few days until the bully realized she couldn’t intimidate my daughter anymore. I’ve never been a violent person and my kids weren’t raised to be violent either. But, they were taught to defend themselves, by any means necessary.

  46. Mike says:

    The answer to your question is “YES, a parent can go too far confronting the bully of their child”. In this case, Mr. Jones did not go too far. Had Mr. Jones put his hands on the bully, then he would have gone too far.

  47. Kathy L. says:

    What a wonderful caring father! Parents need to become more involved in putting a stop to bullying. When I was in school I wasn’t subjected to bullying. However, when I witnessed others being bullied, I spoke up in their defense and made a point of befriending these students. Parents need to teach their children to be compassionate and not stand by when others are being bullied. Peer pressure applied to the bullies can be an extremely strong deterent.

  48. Kim Kirkpatrick says:

    I am a school bus driver in Morgan Hill, California. Having seen the video of the young ladies father, I was at first a bit shocked at his behavior. After hearing the details of her abuse by fellow students however, I began to feel much compassion for the man. Those of you who are parents can’t say that you would not have acted the same way. We, as bus drivers in Morgan Hill have absoutely NO tolerance for bullying or misbehavior on our school busses. My daughter has Autism and I know for a fact, I am very proactive in guaranteeing she arrives at school safely while riding the bus each and every day. We do have problem students on our busses, but they are dealt with by denying them transportation for varying lenghts of time. We can only do so much since we only have the students in our care for a small amount of time each day. School teachers, principals, administrators and superintendents MUST ensure that students have a safe and violent free learning enviornment!

  49. Dlyn says:

    I am 48 years old and when I was 13 I rode on a bus from a school in Dade county Fl to the Air Force base every day. I have always been over weight and made fun of and EVERY day no matter where I sat on the bus the kids in the back would bully me,they would call me names spit at me draw on my clothes take my books and drop them onto the freeway, I told the bus driverall she did was yell ” you kids better knock it off” I told my teachers they said to tell the bus driver ,And still it never stoped.Untill one day I was hit so hard on the back of my head with a book that that I could stand it no more, I stood up and yelled STOP THIS DAMM BUS and ran to the front of the bus bleeding and crying and told the bus driver to stop the bus and let me off.I was out of control yelling cring telling her to stop the bus. without even looking at me she told me to shut my “white ass” up sit down or she would make sure I never rode a bus again. So I sat down still cring and bleeding, they still kept tawnting meand throwing paper and spit balls from the back of the bus. The bus driver just put her ear phone back in her ear,My parents went to the school and were told the only thing that could be done is they could drive me to school. NOTHING happened to the kids. NOTHING has changed, That father should be given a medal. because we went through the proper chain and nothing happened to anyone they just kept doing it. I lived EVERY DAY in fear I was told to never say anything again or next time it wouldnt be a bump on the head and three stiches.Maybe if an adult would have stormed onto the bus and put the fear of god in them it might have stoped.Like I said in the begining I am 48 now it hasnt gotten any better now they just have better wepons to use.And yes I have raised 2 very caring boys who know that bulling was never tolerated and were raised to help defendkids that were weaker,and would not just stand around and do nothing they would speak up.

  50. Dee Hetrick says:

    I have been on both sides of this issue as a parent. My son was bullying a very annoying girl in daycare and I had never been told but the mother came screaming into the daycare and put my son against a wall with her hand against his throat. I came in immediately after and I told her that she better leave and never touch my child again or I would have her arrested. The mother did something similar to another child and her child was dismissed from the school because of her mother. I think she had a right to tell my child not to bother her child but I should have been told as well but she never had a right to put her hands on my child. Another time one of my boys was being bullied on the school bus and I just took him and walked down to his house and I said to the grandmother that our boys just don’t seem to get along and that I would like them to call a truce that neither boy was allowed to talk to each other or look at each other. The grandmother asked the boy what was going on and he kind of sort of said he was picking on my son and then she asked my son what was going on and he said what happened and she told her grandson to get in the house that he was going to be punished. I think because I went there in a peaceful manner it was a good example for the boys as well as we got the matter resolved because everyone kept a cool head. After that I saw this boy many times and he always came and spoke to me and although the boys were never friends, they didn’t mess with each other. Another funny story is my son came home one day telling me about a kid he was friends with and when the boy came over I asked him who his father was (we live in a medium size city so the chances were better it was no relation ) but it turned out he was my brother’s bully from high school. The boy asked me if I knew his father and I said yes. A few weeks later he asked me if his dad behaved in school and I told the truth and said he was always trying to pick a fight with my brother. The boy went back and asked his dad and the dad actually admitted it and said he was a big jerk back then and he offered an apology to my brother and me. Our boys are really good friends and I’m glad it didn’t affect them and that we brought up kids better than ourselves. I always believe in standing up for your kids and had the story with grandmother not turned out well, I would have gone to the school and got something done. But I think foul language and screaming or touching someone else’s child is totally not appropriate. I once walked into a classroom full of screaming children out of their seats and out of control and told them all to sit down. I told them that I was giving them ten seconds to pull out their books and read quietly and I was going into the hallway and if I heard anyone out of line I was going straight to the principal’s office. I once had a teacher bully my youngest who has ADD – he barricaded my son into a corner with cardboard boxes because my son wasn’t paying attention and making noises and stuff. He also had thrown away his school supplies, dumped his desk on the floor because he couldn’t find a paper and basically made him feel awful. I went in and told him in a very calm manner that he was NEVER to discipline my child again that he was only to call me and I would come and take care of the problem and if he did one thing to discipline my child that I would be going to the State School Board and he could explain to them why he deserved to have a teaching license. The next time my son acted up in school he did call and I went to the school and got my son and brought him home and he did so many chores and wrote so many times that he would behave in school that there wasn’t another problem. Dr. Phil always talks about boundaries and sometimes you just have to let people know where their boundaries are with you and your children but it has to be done with a cool head which is very hard for this Irish and German girl with no patience and a short fuse to do! Thanks for letting me spout.

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