Home About This Week On Dr. Phil DrPhil.com
October 29th, 2010 by Dr. Phil

Enraged Dad Sends Message about Bullying

dad9051Most parents would go to the ends of the earth to protect their kids from bullies. I know I would. But how far is too far? Is it ever appropriate to confront your child’s attackers?

That’s what James Jones reportedly did. His 12-year-old daughter, Chatari, who suffers from cerebral palsy, was allegedly being taunted by other kids at her Florida middle school. According to  Chatari, she had been pinched, hit and had condoms thrown at her. Fed up and enraged, James boarded her school bus to give the kids a piece of his mind. Now I can’t repeat everything he said, but a YouTube video shows the father cursing and threatening to kill anyone bullying his child.

James will be on Monday’s show to tell his side of the story, along with CNN contributor Roland Martin, who says James should be named Father of the Year. I wouldn’t go as far as rewarding his actions — storming a school bus, throwing F-bombs at children and threatening to give them a whupping. He definitely crossed the line, but I can understand a father’s frustration when he feels that his precious child is standing in the line of fire, and no one is doing anything to help. James, who was arrested after the incident, apologized for his actions, admitting that he acted like the very thing he was trying to protect his child from. He faces two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. I told James that if my kid had been on the bus tormenting his child, I would testify for him at his trial.

I’m not a Johnny-Come-Lately to anti-bullying. Bullies are nothing but cowards, and I believe we should have zero-tolerance when dealing with them. I’ve launched a campaign to raise awareness about this national epidemic, and I’ve testified before Congress earlier this year to ensure cyber safety. When you have a child with special needs, like Chatari, they are ill-equipped to fight back against their attackers. Somebody needs to stand up for them.

It’s tragic that our kids are taking their own lives just to get a bully off their back. What’s a parent to do? Do you sympathize with James Jones? How would you have reacted in the same situation? Did this father go too far, and does he deserve jail time? Let me hear from you.

Tags: , ,

531 Responses to “Enraged Dad Sends Message about Bullying”

  1. Iris says:

    This dad did what Madea did in the movie Madea’s Family Reunion.

  2. tamera says:

    this is a shame i am going through the same thing right now. my 11 year old son was being bullied by som teens a couple weeks ago. they put a gun to his head and made him get on his knees and beg for his life in front on his twin 8 year old brothers. i was out and they came in crying abd very afraid and their dad went and confronted them and things got ugly and now hes facing serious charges. what is it to do? my family is just torn apart. i wish i was home to stop him from goin out there, but when the police was called they said oh it was just a bb gun it wasnt real and arrested him.. if you dont protect your children who will.

  3. Melissa says:

    I as a parent do not condone what this father did! I agree that these kids need to be scared. There are way to many bullies out there…and us parents who have dealt with our children being bullied do not want them to be seen as another statistic! One incident where my daughter was bullied….she was being pushed around and hit by a boy…she fought back and then got in trouble from the principal. I clearly told that principal what I thought! I was bullied as a child and will be damned if I am going to let the same thing happen to my kids!!

  4. Tina says:

    I dont think he should be apologizing because its the bus drivers fault for not doing anything, the child was being bullied and because the bus driver DID NOT report it the father took matters into his own hands!!! If the school was policy strict then they would of noticed that this child was being made fun of and picked on not letting it escalate to the child not wanting to go to school and not verbally forced to go on the bus and speak his mind and handle what the school couldnt handle. Also, If the parents would discipline their children and actually get involved in their childs life maybe there wouldnt be so much bullying!! James shouldnt be penalized for sticking up for his child! I would have done the same thing if it was my daughter. Young girls are threatned by society and if it takes a father that cares to stand up for not just his daughter but for all young girls in danger then let him do it because the school and everyone else doesnt seem to care!!

  5. Tina says:

    **Verbally Force her father to go on the bus and speak his mind….

  6. Lori McSweeney says:

    I totally agree.. James should not be penalized for what he did, nor should any parent. SOMEONE has got to STOP this bullying. The schools are closing their eyes, other kids are afraid. If instead of arresting parents who are trying to stop the bullying they would arrest a few of the bullies maybe other bullies would take heed???? This week on Dr. Phil is about the website on thedirty.com. I read what it was about, went to the website, the owner of the website and his attorney say its legal.. Is this not just “legalized bullying?” Remind me not to use this guys attorney for anything, I wouldn’t want anyone representing me who doesn’t have some kind of morals.. I know attorney/morals probably dont go hand in hand but there are some out there.. We have crossed a line from whats morally right into whats legal.. unfortunately because people have learned to twist things morally right is no longer.. wake up people.. wake up

  7. Becky says:

    It’s time that someone tries to stop bullying, and if the schools, bus drivers, or the kids parents that are bullying others then I think the parent of the bullied child should do something. Give them a taste of their own medicine.

  8. loreeno says:

    Until bullying is treated like the criminal act it is and quick punishment is meted out towards the the bullying sociopaths who are no more than disturbed cowards, this type of vigilante justice will prevail. I do not condone this behavior but I completely understand this father’s frustration for I too had experienced a very similar situation when the bus driver nor the school would intercede when my mildly retarded 10 year old grandson was being bullied. He was physically and mentally assaulted and targeted by two 16 year olds on the bus while the bus driver ignored these boys mayhem.
    Schools have a tendency to make light of bullying to be dismissive like bullying is a passage of youth, “get use to it toughen up” or they blame the victim for their uniqueness,”that if they weren’t so different maybe they wouldn’t be so readily targeted” as I had one principal tell me at an elementary school.
    Just recently a poor girl in a Boston suburb took her own life. lt sounds like her plate was full to begin with and unfortunately she was pushed over the edge by those cruel girls. I do not have enough disdain or words to convey what I think about their immoral behavior and emotional attack on that poor child. That school is a poor example as a safe educational haven. Supposedly they too had a anti bullying policy which was nothing but lip service. Now after her death the school is quick to cover their bases and liability by discrediting and counter attacking the girl as being emotionally disturbed which only validates those bullies behavior and sends a message of no accountability
    It is just shameful how do the teachers or administration sleep at night and what kind of message does that send for it speaks volumes how a society treats those who are weaker, maybe different or who have a physical or mental handicap. Bottom line bullying robs it’s victims of self esteem, motivation and a safe educational environment that is conducive to a better society as whole. Bullying destroys lives, creativity,potentiality and productivity, wake up America and stop the bullying!.

  9. Beth says:

    When something like this comes to into the light the school always state that they have anti-bullying policies in place. These policies are a joke and not taken seriously. My son has always been small for his age and has been bullied in the past. He has been driven to school for years because he refused to ride the bus because of it. I can totally relate to the anger that this father felt/feels and to be honest would like to shake his hand. For the kids that had nothing to do with the bullying, the profanity was over the top but the way he acted towards the little punks that felt that it was a good idea to bully, that is the only language they seem to understand. Maybe if the kids that act like this and can treat another human being in this way had some fear of consequences for their actions something would change.

  10. leah says:

    Kids are gonna act like adults They should be treated like them. There grown enough to throw condoms, call names, hit etc. Parents are not there or the teachers, then all far love and war. That father did what i would have done. The teachers and the lazy parents should be responsible. Stop thinking that kids are all so innocent.

  11. Yvette says:

    I sympathize with this caring Father. I applaud him 100%. Society has interfered with parents raising their kids that now so many kids are out of control. If I were in his shoes I would have reacted the same. Parents primary responsibility is to protect their children. Hopefully this incident will be a wake up call to everyone. I’m praying for you Mr. Jones.

  12. sherrelle says:

    I am very glad that this father stepped up for his daughter. What people don’t understand is that bullying scars a child for life if nothing is done.

  13. Shirley Vaughn says:

    I was mentally ill from about the age of 2 years old. My whole “school life” I was teased, tripped, things posted on my back (like kick me- and the school students’ kicked me), I was called names due to the special classes I had to take, always alone on breaks, had no where to eat at lunch, was tied into my chair due to my mental outbursts, and repeatedly got spanked at school with a paddle with holes in it (so it would hit harder). Some of my “outbreaks” were due to my significant mental illnesses others were due to lashing out at the other kid’s behavior towards me. I never wanted to go to school. I never wanted to stay at school. My parents never defended me, or transferred me to a more fitting place to be schooled (alternative education), they did nothing……I soooo badly wish I had this parent as my dad. Kids shouldn’t be picked on/bullied and everyone whose an adult should stand up and appropriately stop it whenever/where ever they see it. It takes a village to raise a child. We all need to get involved and stay involved, we owe it to our children.

  14. Jennifer Brown says:

    I am sick and tired of Adults not standing up to kids! This is what is wrong with our society today! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! When my grandparents grew up they had respect for adult, my parents generation had respect for adults but were speaking out more for themselves, then my generation I remember growing up some kids had respect but they didn’t mind cursing in front of adults, and now I am watching my sons generation and they will curse you out, get in your face and won’t think twice about hitting and adult. This is so sad to see and shocking. No one wants to hold kids accountable or disicple them because you might “ruin their self-esteem”, while I am not about brow-beating children I am 100% about holding them accountable and it’s time the Adults take back the respect and not be afraid of kids!
    And I am right there where are the parents, oh wait they are busy making excuses! They say that what the father did was wrong and the cursing and yelling and threating the kids, yet that goes on every single day and the kids are to afraid to say anything because there’s the moto “snitches get stiches” so the ones who are being bullied don’t say anything for fear of it getting worse and this comes from adults not having control of kids!
    I would hope and pray that if any of my boys every bullied a child I would receive notice from the other parents, school or another child because I have a NO TOLERANCE policy in my home!

  15. D teems says:

    I completely and strongly feel that this father did the right thing and any good parent would do the same. Anyone who does not support his actions must not be a good parent. This is a parent’s natural reaction to their child being bullied. I feel that the bus driver is also responsible. Too many times they turn a blind eye too. By law the bus driver is responsible for all the children on the bus. Where was he during the bulling that was taking place? Teachers, Doctors, and others are required by law to report child abuse. This is abuse. There should be a law that requires them to take measures to protect children against bullying. There have been too many recent reports about children committing suicide or retaliating because they are bullied by others. Who knows what would of happen if this father didn’t step in.

  16. Luke says:

    I heard about this incident in the news. Although I think his actions where wrong, I think he was tired of the bullies bullying his daughter just like how she was. And a kid with a disability can’t or has trouble fighting back. Also it frustrates me when school staff does nothing to stop the bullies which I believe in this case is what happpend, so what do you do? Do you want another teen bullying suicide to happen? So thats why parents react in this way, it is understandable.

  17. Shirley Vaughn Jr. says:

    I also totally agree with this father and wish I had a dad like this. There’s only about 50 kids at my school (alternative outdoor high school). But I totally can relate to his daughter I never have anywhere to sit and when I do sit down by classmates they always complain and or moved to a new location. I don’t have any friends at my school and people are always talking behind my back, pointing fingers, whispering, and laughing at me. It hurts soooooo bad. Plus this summer I almost had to call the cops on harassment for some girls being mean through facebook and texting. I don’t know if any of you have ever watched Odd Girl Out but its a movie on a girl who keeps getting bullied and no one does anything and it keeps getting worse and worse to the point that she actually is forced into attempting suicide. So bullying is really bad and we all need to stand up and try our hardest to make it stop. It hurts a lot to be bullied but if we all stand up maybe it can stop.

  18. Vicki Stillwell says:

    I don’t think this father did anything wrong, he loves his daughter; so of course, he is going to do anything to protect her. I think this young girl is so adorable, if she were my daughter, I’d do the same thing. This needs to be addressed and maybe now it will be, although I have my doubts. Nothing has ever been done before to change it. These parents need to step in, they need to be aware of what is going on in their childs life, and step in before it’s too late, for the sake of their own kids, as well as future victims. Bullies don’t just grow out of being bullies, it’s not something that just goes away, it just gets progressively worse. They become adult bullies and maybe it’s as simple as “my boss is a real bully at work, always screaming at the employees.” Yeah, we all know people like that. But a good percentage of them, progress toward more violent tendencies. They start out as bullies, then their torturing and/or killing small animals. Then they become adults, and the term ‘serial killers’ comes to mind. What in the hell is it going to take? Apparently kids taking their own lives, or going on shooting rampages just isn’t enough. I know that the responsibility is shared by the school, as well as the bus driver (in this particular incident) but, ultimately, parents are the ones accountable for their childs behavior. What happens when some kid decides to find some other (frightening) way to get an adults attention? Committing mass murder, or taking their own life apparently hasn’t worked. If you ask me, these kids who were yelled at by the father of a young girl they had been bullying, got off way too easy.

  19. Angela says:

    Well daddy I ain’t mad at you, I think its past time that this bullying stop. I wish I had had my daddy to come on the school bus and whoop some *ss too. I believe this is criminal behavior and is just the same as domestic violence. When we as an authoirty figure over children don’t correct the behavior and allow it to continue we are just a guilty as the bullies.

  20. mariam says:

    What James did is very mild compared to what other enraged parent could have done in similar situations. He seems to be a balanced and nice man. This is unacceptable. Nobody has the right to bully anybody. He should not be punished. Somebody needs to step up and stop bullying. Schools don’t do anything when it comes to bullying, they simply close their eyes and issue “official statements that they did not know anything about it”. They DO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, THEY ALWAYS DO! It is easier to blame the parent, of course. What James did was the absolute right move. He protected his daughter because the school she attended could not protect her. What is wrong with these bullies? This has to STOP. I have kids too and they shouldn’t go to school terrified. School is to learn and enjoy your experience and not to try to protect yourself from kids who do not have proper upbringing or parents who worry about them…James does not need to apologize, at all!

  21. Raina says:

    Dr. Phil I watched this show and my son is going through the same thing. Me as a parent I wouldn’t allow my self to act in that matter but I have spoken with the school and my son is still going through the same thing. He finds it rather embarrassing for me to take him to school or wait until the bus comes. The police officer of his school says they will not tolerate this type of behavior and it will be handled. I don’t want my son to come home upset everyday over one child that has issues with himself. I have talked to my son and have assured him that this won’t happen again since I have spoken with the school but it still continues. My son doesn’t want to go out side anymore cause he doesn’t want to get in a physical altercation with this boy and that hurts me as a parent. He told me that he has ran home from the bus stop because this boy as threaten him to beat the crap out of him for telling the school. What am I suppose to do as a parent to protect my child and not get myself in any trouble?

  22. Rose says:

    I don’t appreciate the language and the threats of bodily harm, but I’ll bet these kids leave his daughter a wide swath in the future. Everyone is so afraid to tell these kids NO, YOU CANNOT BEHAVE IN THAT MANNER we are raising thoughtless, arrogant children who think they run the world. Good for this Dad who defended his daughter when everyone else failed. Wonder if Columbine and other school shootings would have come out differently or not at all if some parents had gotten in the bullies faces and yelled STOP!

  23. Addie says:

    My son who has autism was beat up by 4 kids on a public bus (not school bus) after school one day. I went to the school the following morning with the police and pressed charges on all students who put their hands on my child. One of them went to my son’s school, the others did not. The police brought a picture book from a near by school and my son pointed out all who had hit on him. Two of them were girls and they had previously been involved in a situation at their school where they were suspended for strangling twins at their school. Since their parents couldn’t come and get them, they were released to go home on their own. They decided to get in more mischief and started messing with my son. My son was minding his own business and they hit him in the head, punched him in the stomach and hit him in the groin area. We went to juvenile court regarding this for about 5 months and the attorney for the girls, deemed them as “incompetent” for being immature, so the justice system thing…. that doesn’t work…. so the next step if anything like this happens to my son again, is to handle it on my own. It’s funny that those kids knew what they were doing when they were putting their hands on my son, but in court, they’re “incompetent”… because they were only 11 at the time and so was my son (he’s 12 now). I don’t blame that Dad for doing what he did and I’d do the same exact thing if it ever happens to my son again, EVER! I will not be kind and try to do the right thing, because the justice system for juveniles are for them, not the for the victim. The “system” could care less about my son. They got no punishment whatever for what they did. They just got away with it, but be warned………….. never again will a kid put their hands on my child again and get away with it. It’s not going to happen! Go DAD and their should be no punishment for him, the punishment should be on the bullies. Something has to be done aboutr this, because we parents who care about our children are not going to accept this crap anymore!!!!!!!!!!

  24. I am in no way comparing the type of bullying I went through, to the devastating bullying I have heard in the media that ended in suicides. But I am grateful to the bullies I have encountered through the years. My first and most threatening bullying experience changed my life forever. My Dad empowered me to stick up for myself at any cost, but made it clear that I not be the first one to throw the punch. I was in Junior High and it was my first time in public school. I was in love with Elvis Presley at the time and had seen a boy at my school who resembled him, so as Junior highers did then, I wrote his full name on my hand. I was deathly shy and it would have never become anything more than just a crush. Well a friend of his girlfriend saw it on my hand and that was when it hit the fan. The sad part is that these girls were some of my first friends at my new school. They turned on me like dogs and would greet me at the gate of my school each morning for days in a row wanting to fight me. It was just me and a group of these girls. At times my sister was there to witness these confrontations. It all ended when they confronted me in the girls locker room and the P.E. teacher asked what was going on and if I was okay and I responded by telling her to mind her own business and that I could take care of myself. Immediately they backed off and left me alone, it took some time, but we all became friends again. They had backed off because they thought it was cool that I did not nark them out to the P.E. teacher. I was itching for one of them to punch me so I could justify fighting and make my Dad proud. There is alot more to the story but this is the jist of it. I in turn have empowered my kids to stick up for themselves, regardless of the stupid rules the schools have implemented. I am old school and it still gets the job done. This incident gave me the strength to stand up to future confrontations I encountered through the years.

  25. Mary says:

    I don’t blame any parent who wants to protect there kids. I don’t think for a minute that a judge could send a parent to jail for standing up and telling the kids whose been bulling there kids to leave them alone. But there a right way and a wrong way to confront them and cursing and threatening them isn’t it. James Jones should have asked the bus driver to take those kids to the principles office and went with him and tell him what was happening and let the school take care of those kids. They should be punished for what they did to his daughter, and those kids parents should most defently step up and do some major talking and punishing those kids themselves. Thats my take on the whole deal. James you are a good dad, keep up the good work :)

  26. Talia says:

    It is truly a tough call. I have not been in this man’s situation. My son has a physical disability and i know that at the moment he is wishing that he was just like everyone else but as far as i am aware he has not suffered any bullying (i do believe that he would very confidently tell me if he was). I don’t know that the correct action was taken, but obviously some action needed to be taken. Did what he do solve the problem for his daughter? Would he have still behaved in a similar manner if it had not been children, it is often percieved as being easier to scare children into submission than it is adults. So would he have done the same thing with adults as what he did with these kids?
    Bullying is a disheartening and scary thing. I know a grown man who is in effect a bully, he forces his opinions on you, he judges people harshly, and he tries to control all situations. I was once given this perspective on him “what must he think and feel about himself if he feels that the only way he can fit into society is to behave in this manner”. Now i just feel sorry for him. Surely it is easy to see that children bully because they are bullied. Whether it be by another child, by a parent or other relative. Somewhere along the way they have seen that this behaviour is acceptable. Unfortunately there appears to be no quick fix to these situations, maybe a good place to start would be to show these children and others just like them that bullying is not an effective or acceptable way to interact in this world.
    This man should not be jailed for any amount of time. But he was acting in a similar manner to the bullies. So maybe he should recieve a similar punishment or reprimand as they receive.

  27. Jordene says:

    My daughter was being bullied by another girl. She would push her, pinch or punch at my daughter. I told my daughter the next time she did that to her, for my daughter to haul off and knock the crap out of her(bully). I told my daughter I did not care if my daughter got in trouble at school that I would deal with that. I had already spoke to the teacher, the principal and the counselor. The bully had started the bullying the year before. The bully was not supposed to be in the same class the following year, yet, she was right there with my daughter again. That is when I told my daughter if the bully laid a hand on her to knock the s*** out of the bully and I would deal with the reprocussions. I think it took once, maybe twice of my daughter standing up for herself and the bully stopped. It didn’t hurt when another bigger meaner bully bullied the original bully! That kinda nipped it all in the bud. Parents are just not teaching their children empathy or respect anymore. They are terrible role models for their children. The generation that is raising the next generation are the ones that have been brought up in the me, me, me era. I want it now, I want, I want. God forbid anyone expects their child to respect elders, or will discipline their children. I have left a basket full of groceries in the store when my daughter was about 4 yrs old because she was choosing to try and have a temper tantrum. I picked her up and walked right out, put her in the car and went home. I think she was shocked. She not only didn’t get the thing she was whining for, she didn’t get the thing I had already said I would get her. I know people that have 6 yr olds that have to get “something” everytime they are in a store. The reasoning is “it’s only a $1″ I tell my kids I don’t care if it is free. You don’t need it, you don’t get to “get something” just because you exist! You have to earn it and deserve it. Ugh, anyway, I could go on and on. But I won’t.

  28. Nancy says:

    I agree with Shirley,

    A local radio personality decided to further his carreer by making fun of the mentally ill? I have asked the operations manager to put an end to his promotions forced on listeners and viewers on the web. I was told it was taken care of “internally.” I did not just fall off the turnip truck! Example of what is spread all over the internet and his response to me:

    Gary, I have listened to your show for years, although am extremely disturbed with the “Crazy Man Show.” After working in the Judicial System for over 20 years (witnessing others… with mental illness) and raising a grandchild with a devestating/crippling disease, your show is truly heartwrenching to watch for “me” as I am raising a child with mental illness which is nothing to joke about by any stretch of the imagination unless you personally have lived through it. The mental health community needs understanding and awareness and not by making a joke of it! I just cannot keep silent one second more, about an illness that devestates the person, and breaks down families that live it each and every day. Please do not continue this venue I beg of you. You can do so much in life rather than make fun of others that suffer from this serious condition that they did not ask to have! You do so much for children, yet children grow into adults and it is a disjustice to label.

    Nancy Gary Craig
    We’re all affected by something that hits home. You’ve been listening to my show for years..so..I guess you don’t mind the HOMO Jokes, Dick Jokes, fart jokes, jew jokes, italian jokes, black jokes, fat jokes,…have I covered it all? maybe I’m leaving out some categories..but GOD! STOP THE CRAZYMAN SHOW!” I can’t be silent for one more second”. But all the other stuff you hear is..well. OK in your book. That sounds a little insane in itself. The best advice I can give you is, it’s entertainment. Not necessarily to YOU, but to others…so. Don’t like it? Don’t watch it.

  29. Paula Harreld says:

    My 18yr old son was the victim of bullying for years and years. I have spent so much time with him in counseling and just discovered that he’s been writing in a journal that he wants to kill himself. He just graduated high school in June and hes a complete loner even though he has a few friends who are similiar to him. His father and i love him very much but he won’t talk to us about this. I need help I don’t know what to do. Bullying has long term effects that noone understands. In his journal he says that noone can help teachers or parents. I have been in meeting after meeting about this through the years and nothing really ever helped. One teacher didn’t believe me. He was called horrific names, kicked in his privates,had a chair pulled out from under him which cracked his tail bone. He can’t seem to get a job that he can handle. And now I have to worry everyday if he’s gonna kill himself. He doesn’t want meds or more counseling. Please somebody Help!

  30. Emily says:

    Bullying is what kids see from day one:

    Politicians bully each other in their harassing attack ads

    Business leaders bully all of America by off-shoring American jobs (everyone would still have jobs if CEOs hadn’t shipped American jobs overseas)

    Business leaders bully when they cheat their customers and sell crappy products that fall apart, are toxic to our kids, us, our pets…

    Business leaders bully when they merge companies just to get richer

    Business leaders bully when their greed leads to a devastating oil spill in the Gulf

    Sports leaders bully when they demand obscene paychecks, when they make hits designed to seriously hurt their opponents, when they give the Lakers the unfairly easiest, wussiest schedule in the basketball league

    Political leaders bully when they sit on their butts while Wall Street defrauds everyone it can

    Why do kids bully so much nowadays? Gee, I wonder why…. :(

  31. I have a child with a physical disability. I have told myself what I would do in a circumstance such as this. I would do nearly the same thing, however, it would be more of an education then a threat. My son, has lack of bones in his arms, so if he were to get into a fight, I dont believe he would stand much of a chance. I always have went into his school at the beginning of the school year and answered any questions that the children might have. He is 12 now and does not require that. The children at his school know his limitations and accept him. There have been a few exceptions, but I make sure it is dealt with. I do not believe in bullying, and I have never done so as a child. I have a very soft heart, and hope to educate others into doing the same. My child is extremely smart, and will become a very successful person, whether it is a doctor, lawyer, etc. And I remind children that he could be the one to save their life someday.

  32. It is our animal instict to protect our children. With technology and both parents working in the household, it is hard to shelter our children from any type of cruelty. However, we are also built with another instict, that is compassion. I know that bullies are reaching out just as much as the next person. Children dont see that. There have been bullies in schools for as long as I know. But the types of bullyings have changed. They see sex more, they see drugs more, and technology is a big factor too. If you remember the days with mud pies, and going down the street to play till dark, you will appreciate this. I know we need technology, but what do we need it for. Parents have gotten lazy. They dont let their children go out, because they have to watch them, and be aware of where they are all the time. Now kids just sit at home with all the electronics they can handle. Then there is no need to watch them. So now, they pic on ppl who are different, because they get attention. They arent getting it at home, so they pick someone more helpless then themselves. And for the children who are considering taking their lives, I think they need a review. They need to be able to review the good things in their life, and parents need to stop talking about the bad so much. That is just a constant reminder of the pain. And their is a secret weapon that parents dont use. The internet. Their are a number of complaint boards that they can use to get things taken care of. Just tell the school that there will be postings in every direction, if something isnt done. Hold meetings outside the school, at your house make your own parent night. Stop letting the teachers become your childs authority and take back your right to fight for your kids.

  33. Brenda says:

    I think this father is a wonderful example of what, as parents, we need to do for our children. Love and protect from any harm. That’s our job. I say do whatever it takes to do that job. Children deserve it and we OWE it to them. So, good for you!
    Footnote: If you wonder why children are bullies? Let’s just start with the crap they are feed on tv today. Case in point, A car commercial (Highlander) Little boy hiding in the bushes after school because his father is there to pick him up in a station wagon. Another little boy is running and jumping into a nice new Highlander.The commercial is suggesting if you don’t want to be picked on, you better drive a nice car?! Disgusting! What kind of message is that?

  34. Karen says:

    I absolutely agree with the father. Except for one thing. Although I am not a violent person and am not a bully, I would have found out specifically who the little b#@@ers were, where they got off of the bus and I would have scared the bajeebers out of them in some way and then dissappeared!!! I know that’s against the law too. My daughter 30 years ago came home with her clothes torn, kid’s bullied her. I talked myself blue in the face to the school, the parents etc. and nothing was done. So I taught my daughter how to defend herself physically and sure enough one day was all it took, she stood up for herself, popped the one kid a good one, walked away and was never bothered again!!! I don’t recommend this, but it worked. She still (over 35 years old) is a petite lady, but doesn’t allow her 4 kids to be bullied either….

  35. Victoria says:

    I understand this man’s reason. He was soooooo mad that he went out and literally freaked. Although the children on the bus that did not bully–got an ear full. I believe that part was wrong. They will forever remember this and somewhat-be afraid. But! The act of this father was caught on tape–so why wasn’t the bullying and the uninvolved Bus driver?? He is useless. Our Bus drivers are suppose to protect our kids. When they take this job–they sign on for this. So he really stinks as a person-as far as I am concerned. He should be fired-and since he does not know what his job requires-he should not get it back. Seriously-why is he driving these kiddos-if he is not going to keep them safe. They are in his care while they are on his bus-right? As for the kids who bullied this precious little girl…there is what is called the age of accountability-when anyone knows they have got to lie, or hide, or run from the people who have just found them out–then they are and know they are guilty! So–they know exactly what they did was WRONG! So what ever happens to them in the future–when they do get caught–good! I do not feel sorry for people who get pleasure hurting people. They deserve what they get. My son was bullied when he was 7-for liking Power Rangers. The mothers of the boys–who hurt my baby and left him in a ditch-in the snow-told me, “Maybe your son needs to grow up.” So–as for adults who allow this by watching children or even adults to be bullied–watch out–cause God never forgets!

  36. Sandra says:

    My KINDERGARTENER was being bullied by another child. Her told her that he was going to “punch her with his fist and give her two black eyes and stitches”. I was outraged. I knew it had to be true because my 5 year old daughter does not talk with this kind of language. We went to the school to have a meeting with the teacher, found out who the boy was and the situation has since been “handled” through the school. This isn’t the first time something has happend in the 3 months she’s been in school. I got my daughter invloved in a group with a counselor that teaches kids to not be bullies and how to handle one if they encounter it. I fear for the future of all of our children if the parents don’t step in. I know I ALWAYS will.

  37. Lisa says:

    Dr. Phil
    I have been a target of bullying my entire life and I just realized the affects that being bullied has on a person and my whole life suddendly made perfect sense. I was always told that I was being paranoid because I could see repeated behaviors coming. I now know that this paranoia is really called hypervigilence. I have learned to ignore my hypervigilence and put my own positive outlook on my life and no longer get caught up in everyone’s else’s percieved belief of me. It’s quite funny actually and it has been a very uplifting, peaceful “AHA” moment for me. When I was done crying and feeling sorry for being so stupid and wasting so much time going around and doing damage control, I did a complete 180. My Aunt Jo had made me see that my entire past and all my “little girl temper tantrums” were all FAKE, so to speak. I instantly left it all in the past as I am a true believer in the Law of Attraction and realized that If I single handedly attracted that much negativety that was in my life that I could single handedly attract that much positivety in my life. Well I went a little too far with my new found happines and put myself right into another panick attack of excitement as I was now worried about my Mom, my sister and my uncle Jim who has Downs syndrome and wanted to make sure that my family has the best Christmas that we have ever had as it may be the last one we all have together. My sister almost died due to drugs and alchol abuse and she is now starting to fall back into what she knows and I fear that this time she will die because of her destructive behavior. Anyways I took a 150mg Effexor tablet that my doctor had given me when I was depressed and I believe that that coupled with my new found excitement for life sent me flying high and I made my sisters take me to the hospital as it was Halloween and I became very aware of my surroundings and became petrified to be alone in my house. At the hospital, they diagnosed me as a paranoid Schizophrenic. I find this even more amusing. I may possibly experienced some sort of Mania but I took me to a level of happiness that I wish to stay at and in the mean time being a comical little kid, I enjoyed the spotlight at the hospital and told the physciatrist that i had a book in my head and I did not want the meds to prevent me from accessing my thoughts. I have since been to the doctor and am not on any meds but do have panick attack medicine in case I ever work myself into a frenzy like I did on Halloween. I do have a book in my head and it is about a little girl who loved her family and did everything in her power to keep us all together but was outcasted because of my childish reactions which were caused by being bullied, unwittingly by her family members, purposely by my sister closest to me ( in her mind, I was her bully) and by friends on the school bus and then I fell right into the arms of my EX-HUSBAND and his family, who almost did me in. I found a wonderful man who showed me real love and has helped me realize just how awesome I am and I would love to share my story with the world but first i want an opinion from another man I trust and that would be you. Is this the rantings of a paranoid schizo or is this what I was meant to do. After all, throughout my entire life, my favorite statement has always been…” I should write a book!”

  38. William says:

    those bullies will be the future policemen.

  39. Kelsey says:

    I support Mr. Jones fully. Just because other people don’t want to teach their children how treat other human beings does not mean that the rest of us should grow tolerant of that type of behavior. I agree, dropping f- bombs may not have been the wisest thing. But I am sure, Mr. Jones was very frustrated and probably spoke out of his frustration and anger. Enough is enough. To punish him, will send a message to those children that they are in control….. Wake up, people.. It’s time that we get back to good ole common sense parenting. For God’s sake, the child has cerebral palsy and can not defend herself. By the way, where in the hell does middle school children get condoms???? Like I said, BACK TO THE BASICS… The parents should be spanking their children if they were involved in torturing that littl e girl.

  40. Crystal says:

    What this father did was stand up for his child and be her protector. So many times in this society we say where is the father in a child’s life and here this father is taking care of his responsibilty and truly has love for his daughter as you could see the pain he has when telling the story of her abuse on the bus. Yes, he was enraged and some of the kids on the bus were not the one’s that were teasing, but obviously they allowed it so they all needed to hear what he said.

  41. Sarah Cole says:

    I would never convict him if I was on the jury, BUT as a parent I can sympathize. If my child was on that bus and did not come forth with information about this then he would have a lot of explaining to do. My son has been taught that if he stands by and witnesses bullying and does nothing then he is just as bad as the one that is doing the bullying.

    Last year my son was a first grader and he did tell on a child that was bullying another child and the teacher that was on playground duty just told the bully to stop it. No time out. No punishment. Just don’t do it. My son stood against a “friend” and that “friend” was bullying another one of his friends. It was an uncomfortable situation and do you think he would do it again if it arose? He would, but hopefully there would be more of a consequence. It needs to be taken seriously.

    I recently asked his principal what the school’s policy was on bullying and he told me, but the program didn’t start early enough in my opinion. When kids start school is when they need to be educated about it. They need to know it is as wrong as stealing and they MUST stop it as a group. There needs to be definite steps in place such as there is for sexual harassment. I do pray that the schools recognize the importance of putting a direct halt to this disgusting behavior.

    Every parent I speak to says, “Well its been happening since I was a kid” or “It happens at every school.” To me that is so offensive. Slavery happened for a long time, but it wasn’t right. Women were discriminated against for years and years, but it wasn’t right. It stopped and bullying should as well.

    Sincerely,

    Sarah Cole

  42. Jessica Ellis says:

    I can relate to this guess. My youngest daughter is 11 years of age and is very small for her age she looks about 7 years old and she just started the six grade and she is just the sweetest child I have ever came in contact with. She is very quit and scared of everyone and all the kids in school just push her in the hall into the lockers and three boys in her class was hitting her and slapping her books out of her hands. Also a little girl in her class have Bern hitting her and she come home with all these makes one her. I call the school and thank god my oldest just left they for high school and they know me and the are good at getting things fixed. But I do feel like choaking them kids sometimes. She do deserve that at all and it’s sad for her and I.

  43. Whitney says:

    As a former victim of bulling, and now adult who works with children with disabilities, My heart was so broken from this show, I could hardly watch. I understand the dads anger and frustration. I comend him for facing off with his childs bullies! I wish my father would have stood for me like that. This bully problem is an epidemic, the school system is failing to give children structure, boundaries and safety within the school grounds. For a child to have the courage to tell someone in the school about the bulling, and to receive no support, or protection is horrifying. I never had the courage to tell anyone about the torment I was going through, I was so depressed I tried to take my own life, at age 10! Bulling is no joke! I wish this family all the best, and would stand for this father at any trial. Those bullies got what they’ve been giving, and I love this Father for that. Not to mention, this little girl now knows who her REAL advocate and protector is.

  44. Debbie says:

    I’m a teacher and our school has a great anti-bullying campaign. We do what we can to address the issue. Unfortunately, as hard as we try, we cannot control all of the bullying- especially what goes on in the hallways, cafeteria, locker room, etc., That is where parents like Mr. Jones come in. Kudos to you, Dad, for sticking up for your daughter. You are that little girl’s hero!! The reason bullying has become so bad today is due to the media. When kids watch movies like Mean Girls, play violent video games and listen to rap music, it rots their mind and ruins their soul. Children are surrounded in a world where anything goes and there are no longer any boundaries or limits. Thanks to the media, kids are seeing that the more you misbehave, the more attention you’ll get, the more “popular” you become. It’s pathetic. It all goes back to proper training in the home.

  45. Kelley says:

    Dr. Phil,
    This was one of the best shows you’ve had. Honestly, I would have done the same. I often wonder how the parents of these bullies feel and what they do about it when they find out. As a parent your you want to protect and shield your children.

  46. canada goose says:

    They need to be able to review the good things in their life, and parents need to stop talking about the bad so much. That is just a constant reminder of the pain. And their is a secret weapon that parents dont use. The internet. Their are a number of complaint boards that they can use to get things taken care of. Just tell the school that there will be postings in every direction, if something isnt done. Hold meetings outside the school, at your house make your own parent night.

  47. LITA says:

    I TOTALLY SUPPORT THIS FATHER, I HAVE 3 GIRLS AGES 26YRS,23YRS AND 10YRS AND MY YOUNGEST WAS BULLIED IN 1ST GRADE. I TOTALLY AND FULLY AGREE WITH THIS FATHER, I WANTED TO CONFRONT THE LITTLE BULLY BUT AT THE TIME I WORKED AT THE SCHOOL AND I CAN TELL YOU, SOME ADMINISTRATORS LET THIS STUFF GO ON FOR A WHILE(INVESTIGATING) BEFORE DOING ANYTHING.

    WAY TO GO DAD!!!!!!!

  48. hailey says:

    i do agree with this dad and my big awsome sister was bullied because of her teeth and once this girl said you have your mouth open because you want to eat flies and i told a teacher and she said don’t tell on some else because you want to get them in trouble and then when my sister tryed to get away from them and they followed her and they were saying what happed? i hade to tell a teacher and she said girls stop following her.then they stopped and by the way i was crying when i told the teacher that those girls were following my sister.

  49. ghost rider says:

    i can understand the dads rage, but in my heart i felt it wrong to threaten every child on the bus with death!, THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY.

  50. vince says:

    maybe this topic aint for me at all, this is a damned if you do and damned if you dont situation, but still it was WAY overkill to tell every child on that bus” ill kill you all,” ummmm in Georgia that statement would get you some serios prison time aimed at adults, let ALONE CHILDREN ON A DAMN BUS, im a skidso tho so its ok if i disagree with most in america, it takes a coward to threaten kids period. im not impressed with the dad at all. ya i think i better leave this alone, hell if all those kids sorry parents dont care that a dam man in his 50s made terriostic threats to there 4th and 5 graders im good with it too,NHAAAA IM NOT IM A LIER TOO.

Leave a Reply