Home About This Week On Dr. Phil DrPhil.com
February 20th, 2011 by Dr. Phil

Love, Sex and the American Man

coupleOnce again, it’s time to share with you all the interesting, and sometimes very silly, “scientific” studies and surveys that come my way. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of reports about what’s going on with men when it comes to love and romance. Some of these reports make me shake my head in disbelief. But I have to admit, some of them do make me wonder. What do you think?

Finally, a Reason to Get Your Man to Church

A University of Kentucky study found that spirituality has a greater effect on the sex lives of young adults — especially women — than impulsivity or alcohol. According to Jessica Burris, one of the study’s researchers, a woman who believes sexual intimacy possesses “a divine or transcendent quality” will make her want to have more sex. “Ascribing sacred qualities to sex has been positively associated with positive affective reactions to sex, frequency of sex, and number of sexual partners among university students,” Burris writes.

And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the power of prayer!

A Reason to Get Him Vacuuming

mancleaningHere’s one way to close the gap on the amount of housework wives do (an average of 41.8 hours a week) versus the paltry amount done by their husbands (an average of 23.4 hours). Get this, in an online study of nearly 7,000 married couples, the Journal of Family Issues found that men who did more chores, got more sex. It seems that by mopping the floors and doing the dishes, husbands are showing a greater commitment to home and hearth. According to the researchers, this tends to be an aphrodisiac for their wives. Can you believe it? Cleanliness really could be next to godliness.

And, Are You Ready? … A Reason Real Men Should Do Yoga

According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, yoga has been found to effectively improve sexual stamina in men. The study concluded that men who practiced yoga for one hour each day “had both subjective and statistically significant improvements” in their performance capabilities.

Needless to say, I can’t wait to hear from those of you who are able to use this study to get your husbands doing the “downward dog” yoga move. And please let me know what their faces look like when you talk to them about their performance capabilities.

A Reason Men Don’t Get Much Accomplished

A British survey released this year found that the average guy stares at around 10 different women every day for a total of 43 minutes. That adds up to 259 hours – almost 11 days — each year, making a total of 11 months and 11 days between the ages of 18 and 50.

That’s a lot of work. And it does cause some problems. More than half of those surveyed admitted they have also been left red-faced after being caught looking at women. A third of the guys have argued with their partner over their roving eye, and one in 10 confessed to splitting up with a partner because of it.

But are they going to stop? Absolutely not. About 61 percent of those surveyed said they were worried about their eyesight fading, which means they wouldn’t be able to get in their daily ogling.

Tags: ,

67 Responses to “Love, Sex and the American Man”

  1. LiveScience user “jayandow” left the following comment after the article you cite about sexuality and spirituality: “The qualities that represented spirituality, according to a research measure known as the Spiritual Transcendence Scale, were connectedness, universality, and prayer fulfillment. The data found that of the three, connectedness plays the largest role in spiritual sexuality and leads to more sex with more partners… If nothing else, this gives me a better Idea of how to word my personal ads. I’m definitely feeling very spiritual and connected now.” And who says that social science has no practical applications!

    As for the rest… who needs the support of research when eons of anecdotal evidence testify to the truth? There is nothing sexier than a man who does laundry or cleans the bathroom — without being asked. It’s easy to feel, sometimes, that household tasks are demeaning, and we surely know them to be monotonous — so how wonderful when someone else pitches in. It really does feel like a great big “I love you.” Yoga? T’ai Chi? These are disciplines for the mind as well as the body and encourage flexibility and the unimpeded flow of energy… ’nuff said!

    The wandering eye? I cannot see arguing over it. In fact, I’ve dared to offer my opinion and join in… that discomfits, I assure you, and usually brings any overt ogling to a rapid end! No, seriously, I am glad that this has never been a problem. I am wheelchair bound from a degenerative neurological disorder that is somewhat disfiguring as well as disabling — not exactly what he signed up for — but he still makes me feel like he]d rather be with no one else. Bless his bones! (He does a short series of yoga stretches every night…)

  2. Roland says:

    I would point out that there’s a difference between correlation and causality.

    Correlation:
    “One that does chores/yoga, gets a lot of sex” is similar to “one that gets lots of sex does chores/yoga”.

    Causation:
    “Because one does chores/yoga, he/she gets lots of sex” is different from “Because one gets lots of sex, he/she does chores/yoga”.

    Most men would agree: Just like you work harder if you get paid more, “if one gets lots of sex, he/she will do chores/yoga”.

    Most women would agree: Just like you get paid more if you work hard, “if one does chores/yoga, he/she will get a lot of sex”.

    My take is that both sexes see the world differently, so I think these studies are a bit biased towards the women’s view. Dr Phil are you trying to appeal to a certain audience here?

  3. I get hot when I see my husband clean the bathrooms!

  4. Wendy says:

    I have tried many times to tell my husband that if he helped out more around the house, I would want to have sex more, but he never catches on. My husband does close to no housework every week. He might wash the dishes if he isn’t working and remembers to do it, but that’s about it. He moved from his mother’s house (who did everything because she has always been a housewife), at the age of 40, to my house. Talk about the things you learn about someone when you move in together! He is in construction and I never made a big deal about his lack of helping because he works hard all day, but now he is barely working and it would be nice if when I came home from work, the house was clean. He wonders why I am too tired at night to have sex, but it never occurs to him it’s because I have worked all day, then came home at night and cleaned and taken care of my granddaughter while her dad works. I’m not really sure how to get through to him, but I’ve pretty much given up at this stage of the game.

  5. Re: “The Journal of Sexual Medicine” and “Journal of Family Issues” LOLz didn’t know existed as have just heard of JAMA.

    Dr. Stork, of THE DOCTORS, was teased for saying the second study works. I totally agree with your studies. Too, that going for walks & exercise type activities etc. like Dr. Stork suggested is a bonding moment. Look at all the sports events like football, baseball etc. with guys hugging after scoring on the field… (that’s meant in a nice way). Feels good to hug… see guys! Women are more cerebral (emotional) and like to feel like their spouse is their friend. You put a whole new spin on Cleanliness is next to Godliness though. Oh, heard that laughing is an aphrodisiac too.

    I cannot think of a better matchmaker than God as per the first study. Acts 2:38 is sort of like the first New Year’s Resolution to a healthier life style and making better choices overall. Divine commitment sort of like God’s in on this too. As well, what you said about getting dressed up for your partner each person sees each other in and at their Sunday best. One of the most romantic things I’ve ever seen was you taking Robin’s hand and leaving Crystal Cathedral (like you do the show) after you spoke at Crystal Cathedral. On Hour of Power. Shining example of FAMILY FIRST. I was like, “Oh, how precious” and I’m certain most who saw felt the same since was.

    Thanks for making my day with a smile Dr. Phil with a lighter topic. God Bless You and Yours and all at The Dr. Phil Show and The Doctors and all my fellow members of each.

    Sincerely, SEA

  6. Paradoxis says:

    Well I for one wholeheartedly support the conclusions reached in these studies. If the question is, “how can men improve their sex life?”, the clear and obvious answer may be found in a summary of these scholarly articles: Worship your woman. Treat her like a goddess by blindfolding yourself so that you can get more work done on household chores incorporating yoga. Simple! LOL

  7. anonymous northern reader says:

    I agree with the study, I think that most women who “connect” with a guy on a spiritual sort of level are far likelier to connect with him in a sexual way. Unless you are a college female on spring break, women generally don’t like to tumble into bed with someone they don’t know. Most women like to feel connected, feel that someone shares their experience, feel that someone is listening to them. (This may even include Yoga or vacuuming).

    Guys seem to enjoy looking at women to admire, or sometimes to criticize. Women have been known to do the same, but the study does not compare the difference in time spent looking between the genders. Even though guys may look at other females (it would be hard not to as half of the population is female and some people seem to draw our eye) they will always be most intrigued for a relationship, by a good personality.

  8. Paradoxis says:

    I should add the disclaimer that while worshipping a woman, blindfolded yoga should never be attempted while vaccuuming unless the practitioner is an adept.

    Just sayin.

  9. FosterBoys says:

    All right, just so that you know we’re checking, I point out a couple of items you missed in the studies.

    1. “Finally a Reason to Get Your Man to Church”: “The study found that spiritual men weren’t sexually affected — in fact, their frequencies of sex decreased”.
    So, take your girlfriend to Church and drop her off.

    2. “A Reason Real Men Should Do Yoga”: A study of 68 Indian men who suffered from premature ejaculation found that these men “who practiced yoga for one hour each day had both subjective and statistically significant improvements in their intra-ejaculatory latencies, similar to participants in the pharmacologic treatment groups”.
    So, yoga may help some men with premature ejaculation, but about as much as pills do.

    3. I’ve mentioned before how silly the idea is that men doing housework is an aphrodisiac. Happily for me, the author of the article agrees.

  10. Oh please! says:

    My husband does NOT do yoga although I have invited him to join me many times. Now I’m glad he hasn’t. I need to find a way to decrease his stamina, I couldn’t possibly take an increase. I’m tired!!!

  11. Gerry says:

    I do wonder Dr. Phil your thoughts on men on a relationship noticing a beatiful woman on the street. Of course one would have to be an idiot to be so obvious as to offend your wife but is there a line one should draw ? Is there a line between noticing and staring ? Is there a line between between being human and being a jerk ?. I do think so and that is the reason, I believe, I have never had any trouble with my wife on that regard.
    Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode quote regarding cleavage: it’s like staring at the sun, more than a few nanoseconds and the consequences would be nefarious.

  12. Linda Rose says:

    I generally do the housework and cooking and my husband takes care of the farm animals and things outdoors. When we both used to have jobs away from home the chores were divided the same way.

    However when we are planning to have a lot of company for dinner he helps both with preparing the meal and helps clean house. It is fun to do the chores together. Atleast I think so.

    I am partly blind so his motive for helping may be he thinks I don’t do a good enough job. But that is okay. I am not offended and if I want him to help more I just invite company more often!

  13. Linda Rose says:

    As far as married men looking at a pretty woman or for that matter a married woman noticing a handsome man people would need blindfolds not to see who ever comes in their line of vision! The problem comes if they turn their neck for a longer look and start letting wrong thoughts come into their mind.

    However, that said I have to say that my husband does not notice other women. He knows where every cow and goat is in the county and can tell you what they look like.

    But he is so blind to women he didn’t even notice when a woman started coming here often and hanging around the farm and him. He thought she was just being neighborly and liked feeding the goats!

    He was also attracted too her but not consciously . The reason I know this is because I can remember something he said to me when we first started writing to each other thirty-six years ago when we were young. This was before we met in person. He said he always pictured his wife as being small and having dark hair and shorter than him. When we met in person he was surprised that I was tall and had light brown hair. By then it didn’t matter but I never forgot what he said.

    I was aware of what this woman was doing but also knew he was oblivious to her so didn’t tell him. Instead I just made myself present when ever she came around and befriended her. Then I asked her one day if she was hoping to get married some day to the man she was living with? I also told her how lucky I am to have found my husband because he is completely dedicated to me and our life together. She got the drift and finally stopped coming around.

    In 31 years there have been other women who were attracted to my husband and why wouldn’t they be! He is kind and clever and smart [about every thing but women]. He is physically fit and was able to make a living farming, living off the land with hardly any tools or money. I eally admire him. I always said if I had to be stranded on a deserted island all I needed was my husband and he would see we survived!

    He knows I love him dearly and more so the longer we are married even though I know his faults as well as his good qualities and he knows mine. He knows I will take care of him when he is sick and stick by him through thick or thin. So why would he want to look at some other woman? I am lucky too because he likes me just the way I am. When we committed to each other it was forever to death do us part.

    Men want admiration, commitment, loyalty and friendship from their wives. Women want to be loved and desired and cared for and have commitment from their husbands to them and their children. If both are doing these things other women won’t be a temptation if a husband happens to notice a pretty woman or a woman won’t be tempted if she sees a good looking guy.Remember too beauty is skin deep so there better be inner beauty as both husbands and wives grow old.

  14. Susan says:

    Considering all the oppressive rules that hard-line religions such as the Catholic and Mormon churches impose on the actions of sex and reproduction, the LAST thing I would want for my man to do is go to church. It’s why I kicked out the oppressive burdens of gods, religions and churches over 20 years ago, and I have NO desire or intention to pick them up again. Moreover, any man who insisted I go to church would be history in a New York second (a minute takes too long).

    Regarding housework, I would want my guy to help out a little with the hardest chores. I’m hoping those “robo-vacs” will come down in price soon. :) Yoga? I never do that anyway, so I certainly wouldn’t expect a man to do so.

  15. Essie says:

    A husband who does housework has a wife who is way less freakin’ tired.

  16. Susan says:

    Dr. Phil I am in desperate need of Book 2 of Love Smart. Ok. I read your Love Smart book not once, not twice but three times.. found my “him” and we have been living in absolute bliss for 3 years.. but I am still his “girlfriend”.. Yep.. still introduces me to his friends of 25 years as his “girlfriend”. Dr. Phil I am 51 years old, a grandmother of 2, I have adult children and a “girlfriend” to the man I love and he loves me. Why do I feel demoralized by the word? We have both been divorced for 15+ years, were looking for “m/ms. right…like in Love smart… found him… now what’s the rest of the directions? I dvr your show and I can’t seem to find the solutions or the directions to this situation and Love Smart Part 2 hasn’t been published.

  17. prefer anonymous says:

    I have never been married and dealing with men all of the time in my career makes me afraid to be married. I am getting sick of the way men just shamelessly lie, omit information and evade. It is almost impossible to get an honest answer from a man in a business transaction. Of course this is one of the reasons they discriminate against women in hiring, because they are afraid that women might insist on the truth in the offce as they do at home. I could never be married or get attracted to the vast majority of the men I have to deal with professionally every day, and I am talking about educated people. I don’t know why it is so impossible for men to communicate in a plain, straight manner.

  18. Rachel says:

    Getting the husbands to help with the household chores is not an easy task for me.
    After telling him twice or thrice for a work to be done eg; throwing the garbage or vacuuming – he acknowledges it and says he will do it but he does not. And that is when I loose my patience and shout or spoil my mood even on the weekends. Please Dr Phil tell me how to build up the management skills to manage my husband and getting the work done from him. He is one big lazy man.

  19. hi dr.phil seen the show about cheating husbands i am 56 years old been with my husband 30 years but i will tell you i do love my husband. i dont want to cheat but my husband has not been able to have sex with me for over 5 years medical reason. i have always been a women who has a high libdo. i wanted sex every day at least but before the 5 years he went down hill. i dont blame my husband for his illness. and i know alot of women after marriage they stop having big libido because there married. anyways back at me i would tell him sweety i really would love to make love to you he says you know i cant i say yes you can there is other ways to make love. he would tell me i dont think of that seeing i have no feelings there. so i would tell him its okay but think of me in your love at least once a week. never happened i had to tell him sweety i really need you. he would do it but it was like a chore and i will tell you lots of people tell me its the same in there couples life. i am tired of begging for my husband to make love to me. i would like to have an affair but just for sex and i dont feel nothing is wrong on that. i climb the walls when i havent had any in awhile. i am like a real bitch when i havent had sex. your program was good but did not get into the issues of sex as the real issue. i mean i have talked to lots of friends men and women who say after so many years the sex goes down and please do not say its because the timing i had kids and worked thats not it. the person on the other side of the couple doesnt say he is tired he or she will say i dont feel like it Really pushing the other one away and then say why do they cheat. i will tell you to me it is not cheating i still want my husband and life and for a few hours my sexually needs have been taken care of. everyone has a different situation. Your show was good but you didnt get to the root of the matter. You played around the bush of just cheating how about talking realistic about someone pushing there better half aside. and they dont feel regret doing it but they want us to regret what were doing it COMON REALLY

  20. Richard says:

    I’d like to respond to Carol Roberts” letter. I can understand her position, but I do not believe going outside of her marriage is the right thing for her to do. If one believes I have no business stating this opinion, I’d like to invite him/her to read my blog on the Dr. Phil Community site. My username is Christobella and one of my blogs, October 13, deals with both cheating and remaining faithful to one”s spouse.

  21. Carol Todd says:

    Some men will try anything and I therefore believe it is up to the potential “other woman” if she is worth anything to put a stop to it. This is how I stopped a neighbor from having an affair with me: I live alone on 60 acres out here in the Colorado mountains. The reason I am alone is because my husband left me for a married woman in his office, so I know firsthand the pain of adultery. My recently married neighbors, on an adjoining ranch, were expecting a baby. At first, the husband stopped by my place a few times to ask how was I doing. “Fine, and thank you for stopping by,” I replied. Then he caming by twice in one week, telling me his pregnant wife was working late in town and why didn’t I come over and have a beer with him? Or even better, try out his hot tub? I replied, “Oh no, I will do that when Janet is home sometime.”

    I made up my mind to be prepared for the next time he appeared at my door.
    Sure enough, I saw his pickup coming through the gate. When he came to the door, I was ready. “Come on in, Jim, I’m sure glad you stopped by. I need 15 bags of pellets (50 lbs each) brought upstairs for the stove.” He worked his butt off, and I gave him a glass of water to take with him. About 2 weeks later, he stopped again, and this time I opened up the garage and asked him to change the oil on my car. I had the oil and filter stacked by the front of it. At that, he said he didn’t have time because he had to get on home. The only time I’ve seen Jim since was to wave as he zoomed by the mail boxes down the road! Of course, I’d never hurt his wife and new baby by ever saying anything, but wouldn’t that have been an awful mess?

  22. Sally says:

    Hi Dr.Phil,

    I am an adult with ADHD and belong to an online support group. So many of the blogs
    are about relationships and how our non ADHD spouses just don’t understand the challenge
    it can be to have an intimate relationship. Your body is there but our brains are in a
    million different places. It is possible, but Im wondering if you could have a show about this
    issue.

    My support group leader Bryan Hutchinson is publishing a book this summer called Adult ADHD Can Be Sexy. I am so anxious to read this book, it is a totally new perspective as to how we look at ADHD and this issue rarely gets talked about and it is a much needed conversation.

    Thanks for your attention to this.

    Sally

  23. L.A. Hunter says:

    Men who do housework get more sex – well duh!

    Of course, there is nothing more sexy! And it isn’t just housework, it can be work on the house or property that she has wanted done.

    Mainly, I think it shows us that we aren’t taken for granted, we matter to him. He cares and understands what we have to do to keep our homes running.

    And it’s easier to be intimate with him.

  24. Justin says:

    Men who do house work don’t always get more sex. Fact.

  25. magdalene says:

    men wil always be men,if i was u i wil do da same but were it hurts him more then u, why i say that is because my man dose da same to me and i mean it bad he talks to me any how makes me want to break down and cry but now i got no more tears so the only thing i can do is kill myself,u know he makes me feel like nothing.i never knew what a man can do thats why do what u have too.

  26. Cynthia Endslow says:

    Dr Phil,I have been married for 43 years,over the years I have found myself not being able to pay our bills,so I made a decision I feel helps me and will help others like me,I only buy things that I can make 4 times my money if I sale.At least you should be able to resale it for what you pay for it.I started going to garage sales auctions,found the auto I purchased I could finance for 4 times what I spent.Now we pick up auto that the blue book says is worth $10,000 for $600 with a blown motor,we had to learn to repair it,which we can do for under $500.I have bought 20=$300 leather coats for $5 to $10 each through salvation army,I plan to cut up and recover couchs,$7000 hot tub are free,through classified ads.You can satisfy that urge to spend by just changing the way you shop.Hope this helps some of your families it did me.Cindy

  27. Victor says:

    I can testify that your headline “love, sex and the american man turning point: the offi…” one of the well refreshing post today, it reminded me of individuals who consider before they do something.

  28. Marilyn says:

    Men, if you help with the chores your wife ~will~ have more energy to do the things you both enjoy ;>)

  29. LUCY HOJNACKI says:

    DEAR DR. PHIL:
    I HAVE WATCHED YOUR SHOW AS OFTEN AS I CAN, AS I AM A WIDOW TWICE AND A CANCER SURVIVOR!! AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT
    . HOWEVER I HAVE I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU ADRESS A WIDOWS PLIGHT OR LIFE AFTER A DEATH OF A HUSBAND ETC .
    I BELONG TO A WIDOW AND WIDOWERERS CLUB AND WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU IN THIS REGARD , THERE ARE SEVERAL LADIES THAT GET TOGETHER AND DISCUSS OUR DIFFERENT LIFE AS THEY ARE TODAY.

    FOR INSTANCE WE ARE IN OUR 60′S AND 70′S AND REALLY DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN IN SEEING MEN OR AGES OF MEN TO DATE SOME OF US DON’TLOOK OUR AGE AND WE KEEP OURSELVES LOOKING AS ATTRACTIVE AS POSSIBLE AND WE ARE VERY ACTIVE IN THEATRE, TRAVELING,DANCING AND SOME OF US DATE BUT SOME MEN THINK THEY ARE TOO OLD (80.S) FOR SEX AND WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO ADRESS THESE ISSUE.
    AND DO YOU AT THIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE PAY FOR A DATE ONCE IN AWHILE IS THIS OK!! OR LIKE YEARS AGO THE DATE ALWAYS PD.
    WE DON.T WANT TO HURT THEIR FEELING AS WELL AS WHEN WHERE WITH A GROUP .
    THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT COME TO MIND WE JUST ARE AT A STANSTILL SOMETIMES.
    I SORTOF GET US GIRLS TOGETHER TO BE OUT AND ABOUT AS SOME ARE SLIPPING IN THEIR REMEMBERING THINGS.

    IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE PLEASE LET THE GIRLS KNOW.

    THANK YOU !!! I DO SOO!! ENJOY YOUR SHOW
    LUCY

  30. Shelton Evans says:

    Well Dr. Phil, as I read the various studies it seems to be a slight control factor in those practices. If the man does what his wife wants then he’s entitled to more sex or the sex is more sensual, lol!! So, if I clean, go to church, and do yoga sex will be more accessible. That’s the issue, relationships are based on sex and how much you get it. Relationships move backwards nowadys, if the sex isnt good on the first date, then what’s the point of continuing the process. Frustrating!! Not realizing, the time you spend trying to get and complaining about sex is the time you should spend with your wife, mate, or partner truly getting to know them. Understanding roles in relationships and agreeing to disagree on some things. Engaging in church, yoga, and cleaning as a team should be a building block for the romantic practices. The more things you do together with a common understanding of we’re doing it for us, will enhance the sex.

  31. ester maldonado says:

    i was in a relasonship for 2 to/3 yrs with this guy he use me to get me to cosign a loan for school and also get him a car then he moved out of town put continued to keep intouch until 1month ago i had to go get the car because he was not making the payment and now the school wants their money it is a fedreal loan salliemae im sick becaues i cant pay and i dont know how to get in touch with him and they say my check cloud be garnished i still care for him very much but he is already has some one else what do you suggest i do?

  32. La Donna Fields says:

    How do you get over a broken HEART? I can not sleep at all thinking about how he done. Fill like I am worth nothing. Need help because I can’t go on like this much longer.

  33. Suzanne Johnston says:

    Hi Dr.Phil, I would love to be able to check out beautiful woman with my husband,anyway it’s not like they’re on every corner.I used to love watching my husband do chores or for that matter anything or nothing,I just loved him period.Well sex I don’t see the problem woman have with sex,it’s the most relaxing,fulfilling and the more you do it the closer you feel to your mate.To me I never had excuses of being too tired etc.it was the right thing to do to fulfill both our lives.To the ones who complain,when that man is gone hope you wont regret.My husband Ray died in May 2005 at the age of 51,for years I missed all his quirks and me lusting over him.I always like to say we had the perfect marriage in all its imperfections.We were married 5 weeks short of 29 years.Now I am starting to look and ogle.I believe in love and being loved again,I hope it will happen again,like Ray used to say love to love.Being in love is the ultimate in life and the best.His heart now lives in someone else, hope that person Loves to Love.and hope his beautiful blue eyes are looking at all the beauty in this world.

  34. Seysha-lee says:

    Hi Dr Phill

    My name is Seysha-lee and i live in South africa im 15 and i dont know how to tel my mom that im sexualy activ but thats not the thing the thing is that she doesnt get me she always wants to change me and neva listens to what i have to say and her husbend which is my step dad abuses me and my mom and i try talk to her about it but she wont see that his hurting her and i realy dont know wat to do any more im runing out of options and words to say im just so tierd of seeing my mom get hurt and im tierd of hideing things from her please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. John says:

    I find this cheater offensive! U carry God in one hand your wife in the other. Get a Backbone Weasal Dr. Phil is very right saying “Man up!” Your soon to be ex wife is very Beauitful and she needs respect not your crap!

  36. Dennis McLaughlin says:

    Dr Phil,

    Admire the man’s courage, but seriously question his judgement. He certainly had to have sweaty palms to say the least. Not sure why his wife just didn’t open a can of ‘whip ass’ on both of them on stage.

    Speak from hard learned experience, not worth it!!!

    Thanks!

  37. sally seals says:

    If a man or women does not want to stay true to their marriage vows they need to just get a divorce. The husband on your current show is only trying to create a situation which makes his life more easy. Whom ever he is with he is going to cheat on. Not only is it a moral issue, but it could be very dangerous for his wife and children. What if a women he became involved in decided she did not want to share him and took it upon herself to find a way to eliminate his wife and children. When you play with emotions you just might get more than you could ever imagine or want. I would ask this mans wife if he suggested this before they got married if she would still have married him. Both these women need to dump this guy because he will never be a real man for either of them.

  38. cindy Lockwood says:

    Bravo Dr. Phil, for your closing comments of the Friday Oct. 29 2010 episode. The spirit of the world or its wisdom alienated from God is successfully destroying the Human family. God himself instituted the marriage arrangement. Genesis 2:18-25. If mankind could recognize themselves being the clay and the Creator as the potter. Being humble enough to recognize we are here because of his outstanding quality of Love, and rely on his wisdom and guidance for us….. If mankind could look at creation on its grandest scale including the physics and laws that keep it all in order, they would realize just how much we resemble dust on a scale, fading grass or less. Therefor realizing how much we need to rely on him for guidance and strength. One of your favorite sayings, (which I love!) is “how is that working for you” To mankind and the spirit of the world or it’s wisdom alienated from God……”How is that working for you?”

    Bravo for standing up for what is right and speaking truth.

  39. Robert baker says:

    What’s up with the Dr Phil family? On once this season and that’s it?

    What about dealing with issues concerning caring for aging parents? Some big issues there.

  40. IrishMama05 says:

    My boyfriend does most of the housework, but he`z terrible at laundry! lol This is a huge help since I work 2 shiftz! Plus I like watchin his butt if he has to pick up stuff off the floor!!

  41. gaolebale says:

    hi Dr Phil i love yr show and whn are u cumng to Botswana

  42. Lanice says:

    HELP…I married my husband in September this year. Before we married he shaved on a regular basis..NOW..I have to suggest for him to even wash his face before heading to work…His excuse ” I’m not trying to impress anyone being a local truck driver ” It’s embarrassing when my mom even ask “where did the cave man come from ” Any advice ?

  43. MRS Davis says:

    Is just having sex with a man unhealthy even though the woman wants it too? I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years with a man i’m in love with. I believe he loves me too but i think since he knows how i feel about him, he seems to know how to control his feelings more and get what he wants? Just SEX. I admit i enjoy it but not how i’m treated after. He doesn’t want a committed relationship but i do, he claims he loves me but stops doing things for me once we get close. I wanna know is this being taken advantage of or emotional abuse? Also, when i try to break it off with him I usually get the occasional late night call or a bang on my door until i let him in. I usually take him back after that and continue the process all over again. I get a feeling sometimes if i don’t continue this relationship with him he will continue to display this behavior or it could get worst although he’s not violent. Should i be concerned? Because now I want to end this relationship once in for all just because i’m tired of it and hearing him say, I don’t want nobody. Should i be really mean to him to try to end it or should i seriously talk to him and tell him it’s over, I don’t want to continue into a New Year? Because I don’t know if this is a form of being taken advantage of or abusive behavior. We did just have sex 11 years ago when he was with someone (his now ex )and i was with someone (my now ex). We basically just had sex in which he said from the beginning.

  44. On Dec.29,2010’s show The main reason the 6 foot man married the 5′ girl, is he can have sex with a minor(the average height of a 13 year old is 5′)and not get arrested for being a pediphile.lHeavan knows the world is loaded with women his height,but,no,he waqnts to be a pediphile and not get arrested.

  45. Dr.Phil’s show being a talk show sometimes even influences my views on life,like when he says”if your wife wants to have sex out of marraige there is nothing you can do about it”.THAT IS SUPER TRUTH.But the majority of his shows are merely entertainment as very little value in changing one’s basic problems in life that are a life altering life changing solution will ever occur from a talk show for anyone.Only Scientology technology,when correctly applied,which it seldom is because of the human factor,will ever permanently change people.Far to many conclusions made by Dr.Phil are way off the mark:like allowing the female who caused a man 17 years in jail by her wrong accusations,to go scott free for her stupid blunder.She should pay him $18,000 a year and if missing a payment she should do the 17 years in prison;along with all the others who played a part in the wrong imprisonment.Or at the very least he should get a million dollars for every year in prison from the government who sent him to prison.Prison is the cruelest torture a man can experience.

  46. Renee says:

    Help!!! I am completely lost. My husband is 51 and I am 55. We stopped having sex immediately after we got married 3 years ago. Four months after this began, I approached him about why we had not had sex and there was a MAJOR arguement that caught me off guard. This happen four months and continued until after the 2 year when I realized that the arguements were too difficult. I just don’t understand. I went to counseling and this did not help because she was confused as to why he does not want to have sex with me. He and I went and while I cried (cried my gusts out),, she asked him “Your wife is sitting and crying and you are showing now emotions nor does it seem like you care.” Nothing has changed. He has seen a urologist and he has had an ultrasound. He has lost 65 lbs, and I have changed his diet; nothing seems to matter.
    He had this problem with his previous wife; from what he says. While we dated he said the problem was his ex-wife and needed time to ‘rebuild’. My problem, I tolerated his inability to get hard, but there was tons of sex and when I stepped into marriage I just knew there would be sex as I knew it while we dated; I enjoyed it emotional commitment and how he made me feel. I accepted it and was okay; there was daily sex for nearly 5 years. However, like I said, immediately after the wedding (on the honeymoon) sex stopped.
    I know I rescued him and changed his life: settled his bills, fixed his life, brought credibility to his life; provided balance and created a good life for him, but he gave me peace, softness and safety after an abusive relationship with my ex. He is quite noteable, himself. He got what he wanted and this surprised me since there was no evidence of this (that i saw)> During the 5 years there were break ups, yes. Looking back, they were probably the signs. I have been the one to approach him about this situation otherwise he seems to be okay. I now want out of this marriage. If I approach him, the things he says are extremely hurtful and painful and because I just was him to explain. I need help, desperately and have resorted to writing this; knowing that this will probably be just another journal entry; me talking to myself. Gosh, I need someone terribly to talk to me and help me to understand this. PLEASE!!!

  47. confused and 39yrs old says:

    I have dated a man sense April 2010 and we have not had normal sex yet. Everytime we have sex it is not hard enough to penatrate and I have asked him about it on several ocassion and he said we need to do it more and other times he said that i need to oral him more so i did. It still didn”t get hard so i have asked him to ask his Dr to give him something and he did. It did not work and he never told me that he was taken anything. So i didn”t know at first. I want him to try something else but he doesn’t like for me to know because he is a shamed of it. What can I do I am sexual fraustrated and I want to leave him because I feel like he knew all this time that he had a problem and he wasn’t honest with me. I get mad at him alot and sometimes i am rude to him and i’m trying to be understanding but it is hard for me because im use to having it the normal way. Can you help me and tell me what I sould do.

  48. Hey Dr. Phil, I’ll start with this, Can you and your connections try to have anti depressants added to foods to counteract the hormones that are added to animals to make them bigger. It might be a MUST for SEX addicts and MEAN MOMMAS and DADDAS!! They helped me. I take them to counteract my seizure meds but didnt think I needed them at first. I had some seizures probably from a traumatic brain injury from a car accident and three week comma. The seizure meds kindof made me sad so I decided to try the anti depressant that was prescribed with it and it cured my extra SEX!! want and gave me much more patience. That and GOD!!!!! I have been through just about everything from childhood depression to suicide attemp which lead me to stealing a car, running from the police, knocking into the windsheild from the crash putting me in a three week comma to not being able to express myself for years afterward to being ignored from family because they considered immediately that I was retarted to ignoring them for years from despite to knowing addiction to being a young single mother to having great jobs to having jobs that just didnt work to being placed on Dissability to trying to go back to school but realizing how hard it was TO BEST OF ALL, FINDING GOD to learning through my experiences SO MUCH about dissability about children trying to grow up too fast to learning the abilities that the “Unable” really do have. All sorrow behind, Im not a cry baby, I want to help. I know within what would have cured my prolonged head injury within the first week. I have learned so much about medicines and doctors and whats important to know……………. Please contact me if u’d like. I receive dissability but I refuse to receive it without volunteering so I volunteer at the Elementary school and I’d like to do more. I have messages for teens. My seizures have only happened during my periods. I am allergic to the meds (every brand) but I was told I need them. Isnt there another answer or maybe you know someone who knows more about seizures during a period. I think they have nothing to do with my head injury. The meds are a waist. Dont you think.

  49. Veronica says:

    Hi, Dr. Phil

    I have been with the same man now for three years. We are high school sweethearts. We are both 18 and want to get marrid this summer. Everyone I know says that we should wait though. We are both very in love and very mature for our age. Please give me some advice. Should I listen to the people I know or my heart?

  50. Rick says:

    Dr. Phill today after seeing your show, the last part with the 4 men. I ask what are you doing? You have helped many people with the show, with the large following you have, what is presented sends a message. But I must agree with GOD, man with man is against nature. It is just not right. I believe you do not need to present that kind of thing over the air. Young is young. If you want to help those of the homosexual type, teach them that straight is the way . Are you a Man of GOD or a Man of the World? Seeing that part of your show to day makes my heartache. There is already to much trying to desensitize the world to the sin of woman with woman and man with man. Please don’t you go there also. American is going down and this is one of the sins of the nation that has it on a fast track. Thank You.

Leave a Reply