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February 20th, 2011 by Dr. Phil

Love, Sex and the American Man

coupleOnce again, it’s time to share with you all the interesting, and sometimes very silly, “scientific” studies and surveys that come my way. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of reports about what’s going on with men when it comes to love and romance. Some of these reports make me shake my head in disbelief. But I have to admit, some of them do make me wonder. What do you think?

Finally, a Reason to Get Your Man to Church

A University of Kentucky study found that spirituality has a greater effect on the sex lives of young adults — especially women — than impulsivity or alcohol. According to Jessica Burris, one of the study’s researchers, a woman who believes sexual intimacy possesses “a divine or transcendent quality” will make her want to have more sex. “Ascribing sacred qualities to sex has been positively associated with positive affective reactions to sex, frequency of sex, and number of sexual partners among university students,” Burris writes.

And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the power of prayer!

A Reason to Get Him Vacuuming

mancleaningHere’s one way to close the gap on the amount of housework wives do (an average of 41.8 hours a week) versus the paltry amount done by their husbands (an average of 23.4 hours). Get this, in an online study of nearly 7,000 married couples, the Journal of Family Issues found that men who did more chores, got more sex. It seems that by mopping the floors and doing the dishes, husbands are showing a greater commitment to home and hearth. According to the researchers, this tends to be an aphrodisiac for their wives. Can you believe it? Cleanliness really could be next to godliness.

And, Are You Ready? … A Reason Real Men Should Do Yoga

According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, yoga has been found to effectively improve sexual stamina in men. The study concluded that men who practiced yoga for one hour each day “had both subjective and statistically significant improvements” in their performance capabilities.

Needless to say, I can’t wait to hear from those of you who are able to use this study to get your husbands doing the “downward dog” yoga move. And please let me know what their faces look like when you talk to them about their performance capabilities.

A Reason Men Don’t Get Much Accomplished

A British survey released this year found that the average guy stares at around 10 different women every day for a total of 43 minutes. That adds up to 259 hours – almost 11 days — each year, making a total of 11 months and 11 days between the ages of 18 and 50.

That’s a lot of work. And it does cause some problems. More than half of those surveyed admitted they have also been left red-faced after being caught looking at women. A third of the guys have argued with their partner over their roving eye, and one in 10 confessed to splitting up with a partner because of it.

But are they going to stop? Absolutely not. About 61 percent of those surveyed said they were worried about their eyesight fading, which means they wouldn’t be able to get in their daily ogling.

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67 Responses to “Love, Sex and the American Man”

  1. Jean says:

    These are really good research findings. Women, most importantly those who are married, can have an idea of how those men are behaving. Although this does not justify why they act that way, but understanding them can be very important, too

  2. Allrural says:

    What do you mean justified?

  3. Allrural says:

    My wife and I love your show and have never missed an episode. We just watched the one with Steve Harvey, I love that guy, he has a great way of conveying this information.

    Dr Phil, I know that you can imagine my shock when you said that often you don’t even know why Robin is angry at you. You’re Dr Phil !! If Robin can’t get it how are the rest of us ever going to figure this out??

    My wife has been sullen, sulky and quiet for days now. I keep asking her what I did, promise to never do it again, etc. but she won’t tell me what it is.

    This should be your next show idea. I’d gladly come.

  4. joy fields says:

    Hehe you all are so silly. My husband may look at other women but I’m not blind. I look at other men. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Look at your man watching you do that. It’s worth the looks he will give you and most men will not like you doing that to them. He may start paying more attention to you to make sure your not checking out other guys. Come on ladies turn abouts fair play and your man doesn’t want you to ogle other men. Men say their not jelous hehe they realy are!!

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  6. nettienorth says:

    The reason guys who do housework get more sex is because the wife has less stress and energy to actually feel sexy.

  7. Patricia Pontius says:

    You are so right about the oggiling. My boy friend love’s and i should say live to oggle women. When i brought it up to him. He says if God had not give him eyes to enjoy beautiful women he would not be doing it. Than one time he said if he checks out pretty young women it lets people know why he is with me. Because he thinks i am pretty. I told him that was a crock. Ha ha ha but i know where he is going. Home with me.

  8. Bruce says:

    Hi,

    I haven’t tried to do some YOGA because I believed there are lots of strategies or techniques to increase or improved sexual stamina for men, but because of these researched I’ll try to do YOGA ha ha ha..

    I’ll give you some feedback’s about the results.

    thanks

  9. zbd says:

    As a man, I do all the dishwashing, laundry, vacuuming, grocery shopping, house and car repairs in my house. My wife works hard and I do everything I can to make her life easier. I know I am a minority, but some men like me do these duties.

  10. Kristen says:

    Haha! I like the yoga thing. I’ve been trying to get guys to do yoga for years! And as far as the ‘roving eye’ thing goes, well, I think that something men will do forever, and it’s silly to break up with a guy because he looks at another woman.

  11. Clarice says:

    When I was driving home I listened to an interview of a woman who was changing genders. She was bright and funny. She said when she was taking injections of testosterone, she could not help staring at women. She could not help it and she felt like a pig.

    A friend of mine had breast cancer, and they were giving her some testosterone as part of her treatment. She told me she felt horny and wanted to get into fights.

    So, it is just nature taking it’s course. But love is another factor, and men who fall head over heals in love don’t want any other woman than the one they have; but they still may catch a glimpse from time to time.

  12. Gail Kasper says:

    This is some great information! It is definitely something that all couples should be aware of in a relationship… I really work to give tips to help people in the same way with their attitude with my Systematic Attitude Development-Technique. Thanks for sharing your knowledge!
    -Gail, gailkasper.com

  13. lavana Heaton says:

    Dr.Phil,
    I have a boyfriend whom i love very much.But i cann”t hardly get him to open up and talk about where our relationship is going.We have been dating almost three years,but nothing has changed.I have been talking to him about us getting married ,but he keeps telling me he is not ready to right now.He likes things the way they are right now.Which is him coming up once a week,and us going out to eat,watching tv,or him getting on my computer.He tells me he loves me ,but i donn”t really think he loves me enough to commit to this relationship completely.What should i do?He is always telling me he loves me to.But i think he just loves having someone he can get out with one day a week and do something with.I am at my wits in and donn”t know where to turn.Can you please help?Email me back at l,and let me know ,how i should handle this situation.
    Lavana

  14. lavana Heaton says:

    Dr.Phil,
    I have a boyfriend whom i love very much.But i cann”t hardly get him to open up and talk about where our relationship is going.We have been dating almost three years,but nothing has changed.I have been talking to him about us getting married ,but he keeps telling me he is not ready to right now.He likes things the way they are right now.Which is him coming up once a week,and us going out to eat,watching tv,or him getting on my computer.He tells me he loves me ,but i donn”t really think he loves me enough to commit to this relationship completely.What should i do?But i think he just loves having someone he can get out with one day a week and do something with.I am at my wits in and donn”t know where to turn.Can you please help?Email me back at ,and let me know ,how i should handle this situation.
    Lavana

  15. KJ says:

    So, the American Man needs to change? His desires, or actions, whatever those may be, are undesirable and unhealthy. The ‘expert’ opinion of Dr. Phil is as follows: women want men to change, therefore men MUST change! How about articles showing men establishing more independence, or refusing to commit to unhealthy relationships? Or about how men are happier having done something that would actually make them happier.

    Note on your housework statistic: those numbers have been repeatedly debunked. Study after study of housework division exclude all kinds of housework that is male dominated: car repair and upkeep, home repair, yard work, ect. Nobody counts the time men spend building that new bookcase. Also, many of the activities women report doing, they are doing because they have different standards. They don’t think clean is the same thing that men think clean is. This is THEIR problem, not the mans. If you volunteer to fix something that someone else did, you did just that: volunteered.

    Dr. Phil: I look at women because I like to look at women. Women have a built in mechanism for keeping my eyes from wandering, if they choose to be stingy with it that is their business.

  16. Gwendolyn Gurily says:

    Having been divorced for over twenty years, dating has been an issue – Challenging in the Washington DC area. Turning 55 years of age, I am educated, still attractive. I now desire a relationship with someone, who is interested in being a friend, not just having a sexual relationship. That have bben my challenge. Please help me. I hope to visit your show in Sept, 2011. Thanks for any insight that you can offer. Please be honest with me. Take care.

  17. Leeanne says:

    “It seems that by mopping the floors and doing the dishes, husbands are showing a greater commitment to home and hearth. According to the researchers, this tends to be an aphrodisiac for their wives. Can you believe it?”

    I can absolutely believe it. The reason is two-prong.

    1. Appreciation and Commitment.

    If my husband helps out at home, I feel less resentful, appreciated and not taken advantage of. I feel like he is committed to the house and the marriage and that I am not alone. Let me tell you, any couple in which they both work 40 or so hours a week and equally contribute to the finances of the house and the parenting, should share the housework somehow having it equal 50/50 over a period of time. Not everyone can be 50/50 every day……..too exhausting……..but sometimes it is 25/75 or 90/10……..doesn’t matter as long is things FEEL FAIR.

    2. Energy

    When I am not feeling exhausted from having to work 40 hours a week and do 40 hours a week worth of housework………..I am more likely to be in the mood.

    Overall:

    When we feel like things feel fair, then we are more inclined to feel fair about other matters……a.k.a. bedroom matters!

    A woman who feels under-appreciated and alone in her marriage or relationship will not give her body and her heart to anyone. No self-respecting person would. Just common sense.

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