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April 11th, 2011 by Dr. Phil

Is it a Crime to Snoop on Your Spouse?

spouseEmail1Should it be considered a crime to read your spouse’s email?

That’s what some prosecutors in Michigan believe. Relying on a legal statute typically used to prosecute crimes such as identity theft, they have charged 33-year-old Leon Walker with a felony, after he logged onto a laptop in the home he shared with his wife, Clara.

Why did Leon use her computer? According to reports, he used her password to access her Gmail account, because he suspected she was having an affair. Indeed, he found out, she was. And what did playing detective get him? A trial date this month where he could be sent to prison for up to five years. Prosecutors insist that by snooping through his wife’s email, Walker was committing a felony.

Seriously? Reading your spouse’s email is now supposedly a crime?

Well, in truth, Clara and Leon were going through divorce proceedings at the time the snooping took place last summer. Clara says she had a right to privacy, and she felt “violated“ by Leon’s actions, attempting to discover things about her new personal life.

But they were still sharing a residence, and Leon was still regularly using that very computer. According to Leon, Clara also kept all of the passwords to her accounts in a book she stored next to the computer, an allegation Clara denies, so it wasn’t as if he had to do something really underhanded to access them. Leon claims he felt obligated to look through her Gmail account because he was worried about the affair (it turned out she was having an affair with her second husband) and the effect it might have on their daughter and his stepson.

We all hate hackers who illegally try to access our private online information. Is it reasonable to consider Leon just another criminal hacker? Or does someone have a legitimate right to know about his spouse’s online activities, even while going through a divorce?

Actually, Leon’s upcoming trial could have a lot of repercussions. It’s estimated that about 45 percent of divorce cases involve some online snooping: gathering emails, reading Facebook postings, and so on. But divorces are civil cases. No one has ever heard of a criminal case getting filed because someone sneaked onto his or her spouse’s computer — until now.

I look forward to reading your comments.

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155 Responses to “Is it a Crime to Snoop on Your Spouse?”

  1. Cindy S. says:

    I never needed to snoop, my soon ex-husband’s actions spoke louder than words. I will be so glad when we are finally divorced. I gave him more chances than I should have hoping to save a marriage of 17yrs and a relationship of 19yrs. The damage was done by him and I am glad I am almost done with him in my life. I won’t even be keeping his name, because I don’t want to be associated with him anymore.

  2. Michael Hodges says:

    i think you need to talk in the marriage and stay out get other people involed and need to work on problems with in your relationship and do not search away from home. you do not need to be with other with people when dateing one person

  3. jack foster says:

    I do not see any reference to “Criminal intent” relating to his activity. What was the intent of looking at her email? Laws are based on preventing criminal actions. Does the law he broke have a stated purpose? It is not wise to have laws that are vague about how they can be interpreted.

  4. Tish says:

    While drinking wine one night, my husband asked me about my past. I told him the truth about things. Now, he picks at me all the time about it. I told him I’d rather leave it in the past. One day he asked me about a time when my ex boyfriend and i had sex in public, and he accused me of lieing , telling him a different story. But i didnt mean to, the first story i told him was the truth and i told him that. It makes me stresed that he does this. He tests me I feel. And Im sick of it. We do fine when he doesnt drink a beer. That is the only time he brings up my past. How can i get him to stop doing this? Can you help me please? Id greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

  5. Usiena says:

    I realy believe Amerika is a strange country, in prison for reading the emails of your partner? He didn’t trust his wife and did what everyone would have done:”Find out what the person is doïng.” Nothing special, the only one who got hurt by reading it was the husband himselve and it has nothing to do with hacking.
    After my brother died I found out his password and could let anyone know what happend to him. I’m not interested in other computers or emails so I’m not an hacker.

    It’s strange that they put this man in prison for checking emails of his wife, I would have done the same!

    @ Tish, everyone has a past and that’s just what it is, the past and that is where it should stay. Everything you did in the past has nothing to do with your husband and I can’t believe youre husband was a saint. I do believe people should’nt have secrets in a relationship.

    Greetings,
    Usiena
    from the Netherlands

  6. Terri Belveal says:

    If they are still legally married (especially living together) wouldn’t the computer in essence be community property? Was he going to use this information against her in the divorce? Why would it be different than a spouse hiding money and the other spouse searching for it?

    It is a private matter. Never put anything in writing you wouldn’t want others to see.

  7. Mikki says:

    Sometimes I can’t believe the ignorance in people. If you suspect your partner is cheating, CHECK! Would you just rather not know? Seriously. While adultery may not be illegal in most states, it certainly is grounds for divorce and a ruling in court. I’d be willing to bet this guy didn’t threaten to take his wife to court when she opened the utility or phone bills that were probably addressed to him! A divorce is not a divorce until it is decreed in a court of law. It’s kinda like wishing you had scoured through your dead child’s room before they died, and found that gun or those drugs. If only. Let’s get real, people. How about this? Ask for their password. If they refuse, then they probably have something to hide. And refusal to do so just on “principle” is an excuse to hide something. If they don’t, then what’s the problem? ESPECIALLY in a marriage or serious relationship. Nothing is sacred on the World Wide Web. And Facebook? PUHLEEZE! If you’re stupid enough to publish things that might come back on you, then you deserve the after effects. It’s a public forum! Pictures and all. THIS MAN SHOULD NOT GO TO JAIL FOR CHECKING ON HIS CHEATING WIFE! Period. Fools…

  8. Sean says:

    @ Everybody! I’m from Australia and I know it’s a different system of law but, this is personal too him and he has a right to protect his feelings and his relationship! I say he did the right thing and now it’s in the open, she’s having a tantrum cause she got caught! Grow up woman! You made an emotional investment in your husband and so did he! so if your own actions burned you and hurt his feelings as well, then woman up and deal with it! Make it work or give up! Has any1 thought about the fact their maybe children involved as well? She has too face up2 their feelings of hurt and betrayal as well! A person with a heart for their family will NOT do what she did the way she did it! I love my family and my wife to be is a part of That as that is what Iv’e made her to be in our life together! There’s always an answer you just gotta have the courage 2do it the right way!

  9. Tish says:

    thank you, i think the past should stay in past and you be honest with each other too.
    maybe he will stop it. we have a special bond and i want to spend my life wth him

  10. notta_brat says:

    i belive that a Husband has the God given right to see all mail/e-mail both going out from and coming to His wife and at the same time have the trust in her to never feel the need to check them….. without trust there is no relationship!!!

  11. Dibbes says:

    I think it’s really sad to carry so much resentment towards your ex that you’d want to go through such lengths to hurt him. i’d say grow up, carry the consequences of your actions, grieve for your losses and go on with your life. Such a waste of time, energy and lives… Also really sad that apparently there are lawyers who prey on this grief and a system that provides the tools.
    To us here in the netherlands some of the lawsuits we read about in the US, like this one, seem really surrealistic. This is just not common sense…This is emotion blown totally out of proportion…

  12. Cynthia says:

    Husband and wife should never have any secrets. They are damaging and hurtful and cause you to have a need to snoop. He did the right thing in “snooping” into her email. Now that he found out..they can move forward and repair or end it.

  13. jennifer says:

    I don’t feel like he should get any jail time or have a felony over his head for wanting to know the truth of what his wife was really doing…I would want to know if my fiance was cheating and if I had suspicions I may do the exact same thing…she left her passcode for him to find, so that tells me she wanted him to find out so she wouldn’t have to tell him!

  14. Lorae says:

    I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 14 yrs. And I am constantly finding tape after tapes of us in bed. Each time I confront him and let him know my feelings about the tapes he laughs it off and tells me I’m making a big deal out of nothing. To me it is a big deal. I often find small cameras tucked away hidden. He has set up the answering machines to record me at home while he’s not home. He snoops through my things when I’m not home. He trys to put programs on my phone and laptop to monitor the activity. I’ve always wondered if this was illegal.

  15. jennifer wakefield says:

    I find this rather interesting, I presume that because they were still living under the same roof that this gave him easier access to her passwords and if she did not want him to know why chat on the common home computer.
    My son lived and supported a young lady who I considered my daughter n law as they lived together for over four years. He worked to assist her through university, he coached her brothers socccer team along with her dad. One day after a two week holiday he came home from work to find her crying asking to split up because she had an affair. My son is a computer programer with his BA in Computer Science working for a prominent bank. He looked on the computer after they agreed to split and found a trail of chats showing that the affair had been going on for a few months.
    What devistated him was that during their two weeks away she never mentioned anything was wrong, they were making her graduation plans.
    I would hate to think that my 28 yo son would be in court charged with violating his ex’s privacy after she cheated, and he looked on the computer mainframe for evidence to reassure himself that this was not something sudden. It did not make everything all right in the world knowing that she had been cheating for a longer period. He wanted answers so he would not blame himself. Six months previous at Xmas he and I went ring shopping as their fiunds were short, one special ring I had on hold was accidently sold the evening prior to our arrival. The owner was very upset and wanted to sell us a different diamond in a similar setting. The moment for us was spoiled as I had driven 70 miles from one town and he came up 60 mile from another city, we got to the shop on Christmas eve at 08:00 am. At the time we decided to postpone the purchase until the right time came up again, maybe it was providence tht the ring sold. So far he does not date seriously it has been over three years. He still coaches soccer and works closely with her dad as the dad is high in the league. My son just says that she may have cheated and gone on a seperate path, but he will not give up on the kids who rely on him as coach. The fact her dad is head of the same league is fine with Chris as his rapore with the family around soccer tournaments is very open. I am curious to find out more information about this case, as it could set president for many other divorce litigation issues.

  16. jennie says:

    Lorae’ I would be very concerned with your boyfriends behaviour, it is controlling and invassive, he should respect you enough to know that these offend you. Your reuests for him not to film you are not being followed, it is no different than saying no to a man you do not want to have sex with. He is violating your rights as a women with the right to choose. Where is he keeping these tapes? Is this his fantacy or is he sharing any of this with others? I know that sounds harsh, I really feel worried for you, there are women’s support groups who you can contact to ask these questions. Or contact your local police department, they can answer some of these questions if you feel comfortable in talking to a resource person there. If you are alone and isolated please talk to your doctor, he/she will give you resource numbers to contact. Do you have a close friend, or a family member not related to him you trust too talk to. Please do not allow him to manipulate or bully you; it sounds like he has some psychological issues that need to be sorted out with professional assistance. I am worried that he could escalate with this improper behaviour and put you in danger.

  17. Karen Taylor says:

    I wonder if the broken law was “invasion of privacy” or “reading someone else’s mail” because if the information was on paper and addressed only to the wife, and he opened it, those would likely be the charges (only worded in legalize). I don’t like sneaky people who lie to those they pledged honesty and loyalty to. I tend to feel they are very cruel and selfish people. I coined a phrase which I use often and it is:

    “One who want to have cake and eat it too end up with crumbs.”

    I love your show and watch every day. You don’t let your ego get in the way. Bravo!

  18. Peter Celek says:

    This is not a black and white issue. There are so many aspects to this, that it is ultimately impossible to make a determination without knowing the true facts. I also think the prosecution is being over zealous here.

  19. Ralph McQueen says:

    A couple things mentioned intrigued me. 1; The post said they were going through the divorce at the time. 2; He was worried about the kids. Sounds like he was actually trying to get dirt on his soon to be ex, and then she responded whit getting him arrested. Hopefully the judge will see this for what it is and chastise both parties and tell them to grow up. This story is more a cautionary tale about how crazy people get during a divorce. There is a long tradition of people trying to use the criminal court system to try to “win” their divorce. the most common involves child abuse/neglect (I’m not minimizing the problem, just saying it is a tactic). I heard of one nasty divorce where the wife asked the husband out to try to reconcile. they talked and had dinner the sex. the next day the wife went to the cops and had him charged with adultery (apparently adultery was illegal in that state). Bottom line; he got arrested, she got everything.(I can’t confirm the veracity of this story but it sounds crazy enough to be true).

  20. Melissa says:

    It is one thing to stumble upon something at a glance when you open gmail and they forgot to logout. That actually happened to me. I went to check my email and when I opened the site I had to log him out. As I was logging out I noticed a million of emails from a singles dating website. I do believe that what this guy did was wrong, but are we forgetting that she was having an affair when they were still married? Trust is earned, opening others mail is a crime and I understand that completely. But let’s not be silly. They were BOTH in the wrong. If he hadn’t discovered her affair, he wouldn’t have found anything and we wouldn’t be talking about this. If they were really that far into the divorce she wouldn’t have had to be a sneak, they wouldn’t have been still living together, and they sure as heck wouldn’t have been sharing a computer.

    P.s. nobody should have a book with all their passwords. That is just unsafe and stupid.

  21. joanb says:

    First of all there should be NO emails etc that need to be hidden from your spouse or domestic partner if you are in a COMMITTED relationship. There is nothing wrong with looking at your partners emails etc.

  22. I agree with Joanb. There should not be any problem with answering your spouse’s cell phone, checking emails, or anything of that nature. When you vow to forsake all others, that’s exactly what that means. I found out by accident that my husband was having an emotional affair with his coworker. I went to do something on my account on Yahoo and found that he did not sign out of his account. There was an email that he left open. So I was not snooping. I had my suspicions, but that proved my suspicions were correct. We’re still together and we will be celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary. I think it’s nuts that a court would actually address this issue especially because they still shared a home. Perhaps if he were not still living with her it would give the case more leverage.

  23. Tana R says:

    In my first marriage, I will admit I had to do a lot of snooping. At the time we did not have email and cell phones so it was a little harder to snoop. So how did I do it? I would go through his vehicle while he slept, hit redial on the house phone and even drive by the pool room to see if he was where he said. Long story short, my suspicions were correct.

    In my current marriage, I have brought a lot of my mistrust to light. I actually told my husband how I feel and what went wrong with my last marriage. He said he would never do me that way but yet I have caught him in lies a few times. His excuse: He did not want me to over react.

    I still have my suspicions about my husband as he continues to lie to me to keep me from over reacting but to my knowledge he has never cheated on me. I have access to his email and facebook as he does mine. But still yet, I sometimes get paranoid and log into his account, just in case.

    I do not see this as a reason to go to jail. Does that mean I can go to jail for opening his bills so that I can pay them? Or driving past his mom’s house just to satisfy my paranoia to see if he is really there? I admit that last one is a bit unhealthy but nothing to go to jail over right?

  24. Min says:

    If there is no trust between partners then there is a much bigger problem than snooping on emails or listening to voice mails. My husband and I know each others password but not once have we had the need to read each others email. Even when we connect to get some critical information when we travel, etc… I am not even tempted to read the subject line…. why? because my husband is my best friend and there are no secrets and if for some reason if he had to keep a secret, I would believe that it would be in my best interest.
    I think it is extremely unhealthy to eves drop on phone lines or read each others email without the partners knowledge, I feel sorry for such couples :-(

  25. I would have to agree with this being a felony. Last week I woke up to find my computer gone and my 5 year old daughter crying next to me. When I asked her what happened she pleaded with me not to ask. After pressing her with compassion, she finally let it slip that her daddy said not to tell me.
    My husband and I have been separated for a long while (5 years) we have have tried working on our relationship (it would take an entire show to explain that) we do live in separate household. We have been getting along very well lately and trying slowly to work on things. He came into my home without permission at 6am and stole my computer and other things telling my daughter he had lots of new toys at his house if she didn’t tell me it was him. I called the police and reported this right away and they arrested him on a felony for burglery. I did get my computer back and now after reading this article I totally agree that this should be a felony. I had told him on many occasions that I had nothing to hide and had even showed him my emails, facebook etc. But he still felt the need to pry. I have had to go in and change every password and clean up the mess he had made on my facebook. I feel that just because your married it doesn’t give your mate free access to your personal business. Bottom line—- if you don’t trust your partner than get out of the relationship. Don’t destroy yourself or the other person. sorry so wordy just like that sometimes
    Thanks for listening
    Theresa

  26. Thank you for sharing the information.I like it very much.it is of vital importance for me.

  27. Kim says:

    I don’t see how this man satifying his curiosity could make him do five years in prision/jail. Does that mean myself as well as half the world could be charged same as he. Anyway I have not even been married for 2 years yet and found out that a couple of months ago my husband had begun to have an emotional relationship with a older woman he sees at work. I had my suspicions and finally got to the bottom of it when my husband fell asleep one night while texting and didn’t have a chance to put the lock back on his phone. Something woke me up that night and I snatched his phone and began to see that my intuition was right. He claims he never had intercourse with this woman or any physical contact but I was so hurt and devestated that I moved myself and 2 small children back into my parents house. My husband says he didn’t mean to hurt me and asks for a second chance after being confronted but I am still undecided about what I want to do. What hurt the most is that I am now almost 9 months pregnant with our third child and want the best for my children. All I can say to you out there is if you really really want to know if your spouse is doing anything behind your back do some investigative work; if not continue letting them Have their cake and eating it too. Which is okay with me if its okay with you. Thanks

  28. Brittany says:

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now. When we first started out relationship, his “soon to be ex-wife” was moving out. He moved into another place closer to mine. Within 2 months, i found him lying about texting a girl. He swears up and down he didn’t lie about it because it was a “white lie”. After all of that, he told me i could check his phone whenever i wanted because he had nothing to hide. then he tells me to go online and check his cell records. so i go online, and get the password texted to his phone. Logged in, i find that he has been talking to his “soon to be ex wife”12 or more times a day whether texting or calling. yet he denies it to my face. so i print it out and call BS on his words. Now he is threatning me with pressing charges. what can happen? what should i do?

  29. Sylvie says:

    The realtionship between a husband and wife needs to be treated as a legal partership in this country. Both spouses must have the right and obligation to act in good faith towards the other spouse. In case one of the partners is doing something suspicious and potentially detrimental to the partnership, the other one should have the right to investigate by looking at text messages, cell phone history, emails, etc. It should even be required for spouses to eachother access to any and all email accounts, phone records, etc. In case a spouse cheats in the relationship, it should be treated as fraud. Legal recourse for damages should be granted to the spouse victim of fraud. So many times, a spouse cheats the other, causing great monetary, emotional, and medical damages, and he/she gets away with it with no repercusions. This must stop if we are to save the concept of marriage. If a person is not ready to be married and be a truthful partner, then don’t get married and deceive someone else. If you do get married and are not happy in the partnership, dissolve it legally before getting into a new one. Also, like in any legal partnership, there need to be real grounds for dissolution, especially if there are children involved. I know it is complicated, but there have been so many devastated lives due to dishonest spouses that something drastic needs to happen to the institution of marriage in order to protect and empower anyone who is still willing to take the chance to get married and form a family. People need to treat marriage seriously once and for all.

  30. Wendy Valzano says:

    If I was not reading our sent e-mail then I would not have found out that my husband was going on to Nude web sites and teen sites. I really do not know what to do with all this information! He tells me that everybody does this and it is okay!

  31. Tray says:

    Wendy, if your husband going to porn websites bother you, and you stress that fact to him, it’s only respectful that he refrain from it. (in my opinion). It’s up to him to do what he wants, I understand that, and it’s up to you to set your own personal boundaries. If it’s unacceptable behaviour to you, you have the right to say so! Going to teen websites: if he is an older man, (20+) I would be definitely concerned with that. Yuck.
    There should be no secrets and a lot of respect in a marriage/relationship. It’s only natural to stop doing something that hurts your partner. It’s called respect.

  32. Ellen says:

    Some spouses won’t come clean about their affairs. My husband opened a letter that came in the mail that was addressed to his first wife when they were married and found out it was a bill for having a lab test done to see if she was pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy so he knew then she was cheating on him. When you are married, your spouse should have the right to open your mail, whether e-mail or snail mail. Unless you’re doing something wrong, what do you have to hide? My husband won’t go into my purse, but it’s okay to me if he does. And if Leon is going to use information he obtained to help him in his divorce, good for him. I can’t believe their actually is a law against it. I have read where certain pedofilers don’t serve that length of time. The laws today are crazy!

  33. A lesson learned says:

    Its a hard one!! I vowed I would never violate trust but when I got back with my ex fiance I was still worried incase he was flirting and pursuing his ex’s which he did previously! He wanted to meet my children again and bring our relationship up to the next level despite my reservations, I wanted to take it real slow as they were so hurt when we broke up before and have been through a divorce and integrating a new step-mom and step-brother in to their lives recently. One night I woke up and his phone was there and I am ashamed to say I opened it as it wasnt locked and on his facebook inbox found messages to an ex girlfriend saying he was only with me because she was taken that he fancied her rotten and the relationship with me has “moments”. All this despite assuring me he was in it for good!!! Needless to say I broke up with him straight away. But what I should have done was not get back together in the first place. If you have the feelings thats something is not right and they are hiding a part of there life from you then they are obviously not really committed to you and the best thing before snooping is needed is to walk away. Without trust there can not be a relationship. I have learnt my lesson the hard way.

  34. Transparency, privacy and secrecy are key concepts in a marriage. The Michigan law is weakens marriage by allowing secrecy to destroy the natural process of sharing information to keep a relationship honest.
    –Transparency means that when two people wed, they are giving up the right to keep their personal information to themselves. Transparency allows us to know another person. Why would anyone want to marry someone they hardly know?
    –Privacy means keeping things to yourself when you know they will not make any difference to your partner.
    –Secrecy, which includes covering up a sexual or emotional affair, is devastating to a marriage. It means keeping things to yourself that you know would harm the marriage or your spouse. It is a breach of trust. Period.
    –Two people who join in marriage also join together all aspects of their lives. Each person’s fate is affected by their partner’s. So each partner has a right to know about how their partner’s activities affect, or will affect, their life. That means having access to their partner’s email, bank accounts, health records, and anything else that could affect their own health and well-being.
    –People become anxious when they think they are not getting the whole story. If a partner cannot get an honest response when they ask a direct question to allay their fears, they may–in fact should–snoop.
    –Since snooping increases honesty in relationships, it is not a bad thing. It is an unfortunate thing, because it means honesty could not be maintained by less extreme measures.
    –So I strongly oppose the passage of a law that would restrict a partner’s right to transparency in a marriage, until the divorce decree is signed.

  35. Louise says:

    This is very conerning to me. My husband of 7 years and I have been having marital problems. I’ve snooped into his Twitter and gmail accounts and read some disturbing things that I find to be very disrespectful to me & our marriage (like telling another woman that he wants to see her naked in his hot tub and possibly planning on hooking up with another woman during a business trip next month). As far as I know, there hasn’t been actual proof that he’s slept with any of them, but in my heart & mind, I cannot trust him any longer. I feel that he’s already breached our marriage contract. I am currently looking for a lawyer, but so desperately want to confront him about his email correspondences. My family & close friends whom I’ve told tell me I shouldn’t say anything to him until I talk to a lawyer. But this is killing me!

  36. Lizz says:

    I am going through the same thing now. My fiance of 7 years threw my children and myself out of our home. He had us come back and try and work things out. Now I have no access to bank accts. or anything. I am left with no money due to the fact that I am a stay at home mom. He gives me an allowance if I ask for gas for my car for dr.s appts and such. I am no longer allowed to know any of his passwords, his bank acct. or near his wallet. I am thinking he is hiding something. I have caught him previously numerous times speaking to other girls on the internet and I mean young girls. He is 39 and he has already solicited prostitution of a minor 4 years ago. I stayed because I thought he would change and now he is in total control. This gentleman should not go to jail because he was trying to protect himself or his children. I don’t snoop to just snoop, I snoop to protect myself and my children. When you are in a situation like this gentleman I can completely relate. You need to know what is going on behind your back divorce or no divorce.

  37. TYSH says:

    Well, I don’t think it’s a “crime” to view your spouse’s email! Divorces are very complicated and can be very vindictive. Do I feel he should’ve been charged with a felony, No! Could it been used in the divorce case, Maybe. I use my spouse’s account for many things. Does that make me a criminal? I do believe our goverment has gotten totally out of control with certain laws!! I always thought laws were there to protect the good from the bad!! Now it just seems like laws are at conviences.

  38. Denise says:

    I thought the person has to file charges against you for you to be prosecuted am I correct? My email was hacked without permission on craigslist but I didn’t report it I think if you give the person permission it’s ok but if not you can prosecute them but not sure

  39. Abhishek says:

    I am a law student and i would like to know the name of the case in which Leon was indicted for my research purposes. Hope that u will send it as soon as possible.

  40. When my wife and I first got together there was a level of distrust because her previous husband had cheated. Therefore anything I did that was not in perfect order was automatically suspected of cheating. Then came the request to check my phone. Well, as a man this bothered me because I had nothing to hide. I had two options. Either I buck the situation or I help her build trust so she wouldn’t have to snoop. It bothered me so much that she would snoop I figured just going to the opposite direction would be better. And it worked, she now has peace and no longer feels she has to snoop. This could be attributed to her lack of healing she received from the infidelity in her first marriage.. but my best suggestion is to do what it takes to bring peace and trust.

  41. Brandi says:

    This is exactly whats wrong with our society….if someone kills someone in cold blood, has the murder weapon in their hand, and a confession…. and the police find this with no search warrant…it is not admissable in court. BS!!! If you killed someone, you should pay the price…. NO MATTER WHAT! And if u cheat on your spouse, u should be held accountable…NO MATTER WHAT! Why does it matter how someone finds out…. if you did it, you did it! Does it really matter how it was discovered? If you dont do anything wrong or illegal… u have nothing to worry about. If you do, well… you made your bed, now lie in it. Some people say “God will judge you”, but I dont see why we cant judge u first….

  42. sandra says:

    did Lorae find out if her live-in boyfriend of 14 years was breaking the law? she found tape recordings of the 2 of them having sex and expressed her disapproval of his secret recordings. If they were husband and wife would it make a difference?

    Does anyone know the law? Or do laws exist for this type of thing? In Texas, Lorae and boyfriend would be considered husband and wife after living together 6 months. How can a person stop this? How can one tell if hidden cameras are rolling?

  43. Taz says:

    What if you suspect your girlfriend of cheating and you go on her laptop and her email is up…already signed on and you see emails confirming she is cheating?

  44. Georgetta C. says:

    This is where the law oversteps their self. Yes I understand laws are made to protect people, but as long as no one is being mentally or physically hurt in their own home, LEAVE THE LAW OUT. I dare someone to tell me I can’t look at anything that belongs to my hubby, as he has that option to look at mine as well.

  45. Denise says:

    Youre only allowed in someone’s email if they give you permission to use the password if they don’t give you permission it’s illegal

  46. First of all I believe if one needs to snoop on their spouse for any reason, for me this is a sign that perhaps the relationship is not going very well to begin with. Adults are not like children and teenagers where we have a moral and parental obligation to guard and direct; at the adult stage if you cannot trust your friend, spouse or other then maybe it’s time to reconsider the relationship or at least reflect on why it is one must snoop on the other.

  47. Mark Brammall says:

    September 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    First of all I believe if one needs to snoop on their spouse for any reason, for me this is a sign that perhaps the relationship is not going very well to begin with. Adults are not like children and teenagers where we have a moral and parental obligation to guard and direct; at the adult stage if you cannot trust your friend, spouse or other then maybe it’s time to reconsider the relationship or at least reflect on why it is one must snoop on the other.

  48. Carolyn Wilson says:

    Thirty years of my life were stolen from me. By accident, I found my husband’s hotmail account open on our computer in the family room. Shockingly, I found years of emails where he was soliciting sex with men on Craigslist, offering “services” to men, writing love letters to (what I thought were) family friends, and evidence of his inappropriate relationship with his nephew (not child, age 21).

    This sociopath manipulated me from Day One, so he could have his cake and eat it too (pun intended). He had the cover of a devoted wife, six children and four grandchildren. All the while, he was enjoying his secret life.

    I’ve been dealing with this since Oct 2009, and I’m sick of it. I don’t really give a crap how gay he’s so proud to be now…I care that he lied, manipulated and cheated me out of my life. He unilaterally decided how the end of my life was going to be. I am derailed as a human being.

    I say to all spouses…trust, but verify…before it’s too late. Believe me, younger kids can recover from a divorce. My older children are devasted…we all feel we’re not what we always thought we were.

  49. jiya says:

    i hav got married in 2012 and my marrige is going to be break just coz my husbnad thinks that i had wrong relation with my ex bf till nw thats not truth and now my husband also denys that he had a sex with me but the truth is that he had done sex with me with protection then may i know what can i do any action against my husband in the court to proof this thing?

  50. Bruce says:

    I am crippled from the waist down due to a MRSA abcess that was in my spine two years ago causing one of my vertebra to slip and crush the cord. It has caused me to lose all feeling from my waist down. Recently I had a stroke due to an intestinal bleed taking my blood volume down to 5.3 leaving my left siide considerably weakened. My question is this; should I expect my wife of thirty years to do without sex and help me, or should I let her try and get intemancy with others? She says that sex is overated, but I have seen her crying, and I know that beiing with me can’t be very exciting right now and she is trying to put on an act saying she is happy. She is making me unhappy in her sorrow. I don’t know what to do?

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