Comments on: The Senate Hearing on Domestic Violence http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/ Dr. Phil- Start A Change Reaction Sun, 19 May 2013 02:33:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Mark http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-136817 Mark Fri, 11 Jan 2013 14:54:33 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-136817 Domestic violence is really a crime to the heart. It is like no other crime, though one out of misplaced passion. The abuser suffers just as much if he/she feel the need to contol with violence. However, tougher laws need to be implemented to send a message, that relationships are sacred not one of opportunity to damage and harm because of indifference or choices beyond their control. Violence is not the solution, though it may feel like the result to submit a partner unto their agenda. We have the right to live in peace and safety regardless of our agendas. Domestic violence is really a crime to the heart. It is like no other crime, though one out of misplaced passion. The abuser suffers just as much if he/she feel the need to contol with violence. However, tougher laws need to be implemented to send a message, that relationships are sacred not one of opportunity to damage and harm because of indifference or choices beyond their control. Violence is not the solution, though it may feel like the result to submit a partner unto their agenda. We have the right to live in peace and safety regardless of our agendas.

]]> By: Mandy http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-136674 Mandy Thu, 10 Jan 2013 05:59:34 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-136674 Stressed Couple in Ohio my fiance was stressed and began using drugs and we had some stresses in our relationship with his daughters mother. He became depressed and we began becoming more distant but I noticed he was acting different. When I came home from work one afternoon in August 2012 he was in a Meth rage and pulled me down the drive way by my hair I fell and we began rolling around the yard I remember looking in his face seeing nothing just a checked out stare. He I believe was in a black out He hit me once When I got in my home My face was bloody both of my eyes were black and i felt dizzy. He still did not say anything I was in a state of shock as he had NEVER did anything like this before. My neighbor heard me screaming when I was outside and called the police and he was arrested and he was put in jail however this would have Never happened if it was not for the drugs and he did appologize to me and admitted guilt and asked for a program they charged him with felonious assult 2nd degree felony punishable 2 to 8 years they offered 3 years flat time and he said that was fine but he wanted to let the judge sentence him so she could send him to a program or some where that had a program that could help him to make his time help him to the best of his ability on sentencing day we were FLOORED when he could have taken the 3 years flat time and she sentenced him 7 years and he will have to serve 5 years before he can even file for any type of release I guess this is what we get for thinking the system was really rehabilitating or keeping families together. Now His daughter turning 4 next week not even in kindergarden will not possiblly see her dad till Jr High when some people with Attempted Murder Charges are given 6 & 7 Year sentences. Dont get Us Wrong this was a Very Serious and Wrong Act but an Extreme Punishment from what was Offered and what was given Stressed Couple in Ohio my fiance was stressed and began using drugs and we had some stresses in our relationship with his daughters mother. He became depressed and we began becoming more distant but I noticed he was acting different. When I came home from work one afternoon in August 2012 he was in a Meth rage and pulled me down the drive way by my hair I fell and we began rolling around the yard I remember looking in his face seeing nothing just a checked out stare. He I believe was in a black out He hit me once When I got in my home My face was bloody both of my eyes were black and i felt dizzy. He still did not say anything I was in a state of shock as he had NEVER did anything like this before. My neighbor heard me screaming when I was outside and called the police and he was arrested and he was put in jail however this would have Never happened if it was not for the drugs and he did appologize to me and admitted guilt and asked for a program they charged him with felonious assult 2nd degree felony punishable 2 to 8 years they offered 3 years flat time and he said that was fine but he wanted to let the judge sentence him so she could send him to a program or some where that had a program that could help him to make his time help him to the best of his ability on sentencing day we were FLOORED when he could have taken the 3 years flat time and she sentenced him 7 years and he will have to serve 5 years before he can even file for any type of release I guess this is what we get for thinking the system was really rehabilitating or keeping families together. Now His daughter turning 4 next week not even in kindergarden will not possiblly see her dad till Jr High when some people with Attempted Murder Charges are given 6 & 7 Year sentences. Dont get Us Wrong this was a Very Serious and Wrong Act but an Extreme Punishment from what was Offered and what was given

]]> By: Truenigmaja http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-122883 Truenigmaja Thu, 13 Sep 2012 14:37:20 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-122883 I understand the need for laws but you must also factor into the act that men are abused too, most just won't speak out because of the stigma attached to it and the way it looks, so it should be Violence Against Women and Men Act. I'll take been beaten any day against some of the things that a woman can do and say to hurt me, when they are confronted with the lies they tell and act as if nothing is wrong, when you do all you can for someone and they turn around and hurt you emotionally those scars don't heal, they don't go away. When one someone makes you never trust any one again, when you do all the things that anyone would do to make another person happy and you just there holding the bag being fed scraps, it amazing how many people how many men have to deal with this on a daily basis. It is no excuse for physical abuse but who protects the men or is it that we don't need protecting, who sits her down and says to her that you need to do better and it doesn't come off like the man is a whip and end up with her doing him more emotional damage. Maybe that's just me still but think about it, men are hurt physically just as much as women and regardless of the number men need protection to, not just from the violence but from the shame that comes with know that he couldn't do anything to defend himself and if he did hit her back then he'd be charged no doubt for abusing her...If you check most of the laws and look at the data abuse is always made to look as if it comes only from a man it always has. I understand the need for laws but you must also factor into the act that men are abused too, most just won’t speak out because of the stigma attached to it and the way it looks, so it should be Violence Against Women and Men Act. I’ll take been beaten any day against some of the things that a woman can do and say to hurt me, when they are confronted with the lies they tell and act as if nothing is wrong, when you do all you can for someone and they turn around and hurt you emotionally those scars don’t heal, they don’t go away. When one someone makes you never trust any one again, when you do all the things that anyone would do to make another person happy and you just there holding the bag being fed scraps, it amazing how many people how many men have to deal with this on a daily basis. It is no excuse for physical abuse but who protects the men or is it that we don’t need protecting, who sits her down and says to her that you need to do better and it doesn’t come off like the man is a whip and end up with her doing him more emotional damage. Maybe that’s just me still but think about it, men are hurt physically just as much as women and regardless of the number men need protection to, not just from the violence but from the shame that comes with know that he couldn’t do anything to defend himself and if he did hit her back then he’d be charged no doubt for abusing her…If you check most of the laws and look at the data abuse is always made to look as if it comes only from a man it always has.

]]> By: Judith Soyster http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-121147 Judith Soyster Sun, 26 Aug 2012 13:11:47 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-121147 Dear Dr. Phil, We hear about the stories, but until we live it we cannot fully understand all the horrors that go with living the nightmare. This is a story about my sister, Mary. She was in her fifties when she met up with Mike at a local bar hangout. Mary was a Nurse Case Manager and Mike was an on again off again plumber. They were drinking buddies. He ended up murdering my sister and is now in jail. We tried to save her numerous times but she kept going back. I have made it a quest to make our legislators enact a registry of felon abusors, called "Mary's List". So those that meet up with these people can have a place to go check to see if they are registered felony abusors. Thank you for keeping us informed. If you can put in a good word for us that don't have good access to our legislators as to how important the legislation is I would be very greatful. Thank you Judith Soyster, Mary's sister Dear Dr. Phil,
We hear about the stories, but until we live it we cannot fully understand all the
horrors that go with living the nightmare. This is a story about my sister, Mary.
She was in her fifties when she met up with Mike at a local bar hangout.
Mary was a Nurse Case Manager and Mike was an on again off again plumber.
They were drinking buddies. He ended up murdering my sister and is now in jail.
We tried to save her numerous times but she kept going back. I have made it a
quest to make our legislators enact a registry of felon abusors, called “Mary’s List”. So those that meet up with these people can have a place to go check to see if they are registered felony abusors. Thank you for keeping us informed. If you can put in a good word for us that don’t have good access to our legislators as to how important the legislation is I would be very greatful. Thank you Judith Soyster, Mary’s sister

]]> By: Carrie http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-120226 Carrie Tue, 14 Aug 2012 01:13:53 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-120226 Thank you so much, Dr. Phil, for the blog above. I am a survivor of domestic violence to an extreme degree. I was lucky to get out. I never went to a shelter because my abuser told me that if I left him he would harm my family and me. I finally had his approval to leave him. Shortly after, he went back on that approval and I lived in fear for days. I was even taken into protective custody with the military since he was an active duty Sargent in the Army. Sense then, he has been dishonorably discharged. I could go on with pages of things that happened in my relationship with him. Thankfully I am not only alive, but with an amazing new husband. I still have horrific memories of my past and was diagnosed with PTSD as a result, but I have been able to learn to live with that while enjoying all the blessings I currently have. Thank you for your blog...the silence needs to be broken! Many blessings, --Carrie-- Thank you so much, Dr. Phil, for the blog above. I am a survivor of domestic violence to an extreme degree. I was lucky to get out. I never went to a shelter because my abuser told me that if I left him he would harm my family and me. I finally had his approval to leave him. Shortly after, he went back on that approval and I lived in fear for days. I was even taken into protective custody with the military since he was an active duty Sargent in the Army. Sense then, he has been dishonorably discharged.

I could go on with pages of things that happened in my relationship with him. Thankfully I am not only alive, but with an amazing new husband. I still have horrific memories of my past and was diagnosed with PTSD as a result, but I have been able to learn to live with that while enjoying all the blessings I currently have.

Thank you for your blog…the silence needs to be broken!

Many blessings,

–Carrie–

]]> By: Krista http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-109142 Krista Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:19:18 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-109142 Thank you Dr. Phil for staying on top of this Silent Epidemic, especially with the economy there are so many women (including myself) who have no place to go, are in a very vulnerable position, no jobs (to make enough to survive alone) I too have been in a very volatile situation. But never giving up that I will get the money, and car to move! This has been the biggest challenge I have had in my life. I have finally become empowered and boy did his behavior change! It was always about his control, and never about me. It was about his insecurity, and fear. I finally realized he's nothing but a BIG BULLY. Any man who threatens a woman has no backbone. Put downs, belittling, Disrespect, gaslighting, projection....and on and on. I will move on and be a stronger woman for this experience. My heart goes out to the ones who are in the beginning stages of this. Keep putting the word out, so more women will become empowered, and Stay strong! God Bless you Dr. Phil Krista Thank you Dr. Phil for staying on top of this Silent Epidemic, especially with the economy there are so many women (including myself) who have no place to go, are in a very vulnerable position, no jobs (to make enough to survive alone) I too have been in a very volatile situation. But never giving up that I will get the money, and car to move! This has been the biggest challenge I have had in my life. I have finally become empowered and boy did his behavior change! It was always about his control, and never about me. It was about his insecurity, and fear. I finally realized he’s nothing but a BIG BULLY. Any man who threatens a woman has no backbone.
Put downs, belittling, Disrespect, gaslighting, projection….and on and on. I will move on and be a stronger woman for this experience. My heart goes out to the ones
who are in the beginning stages of this. Keep putting the word out, so more women
will become empowered, and Stay strong!

God Bless you Dr. Phil

Krista

]]> By: Annette McNamara http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-109139 Annette McNamara Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:11:09 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-109139 I will agree to disagree, we need to focus on women abuse and with this bill approved we are putting women in danger. Change the name to what it really is. It's time for action not labeling women with huge amounts of funding. Put it on someone else's back like Helping all Cultures and Educating Society on what we can do better. Dr. Phil did you know that in this bill, there is a law that a women abused has to live within 100 miles of their abuser, if they have children? These programs are not focused toward's shelter's, they have to find their own funding. It's time to stop labeling women and change the name to what it really is a fund for catch all need's in society. Read it you will see. Sincerely a former women abused that had no rights. I will agree to disagree, we need to focus on women abuse and with this bill approved we are putting women in danger. Change the name to what it really is. It’s time for action not labeling women with huge amounts of funding. Put it on someone else’s back like Helping all Cultures and Educating Society on what we can do better. Dr. Phil did you know that in this bill, there is a law that a women abused has to live within 100 miles of their abuser, if they have children? These programs are not focused toward’s shelter’s, they have to find their own funding. It’s time to stop labeling women and change the name to what it really is a fund for catch all need’s in society. Read it you will see. Sincerely a former women abused that had no rights.

]]> By: Barb Stewart http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-101399 Barb Stewart Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:10:00 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-101399 When does the violence against her from him end... I'm the mother of a woman with two sons. For the last seven + months she has had no contact with her boys not even one visit. Now I could understand it if she had committed a crime but in the meantime she is missing them grow up (this is something no one can give them back) I truly feel her rights were violated in many ways and from different departments of our justice system. From the ex husband , CPS and even the judge. Ya need ta help advise her PLEASE. When does the violence against her from him end… I’m the mother of a woman with two sons. For the last seven + months she has had no contact with her boys not even one visit. Now I could understand it if she had committed a crime but in the meantime she is missing them grow up (this is something no one can give them back) I truly feel her rights were violated in many ways and from different departments of our justice system. From the ex husband , CPS and even the judge. Ya need ta help advise her PLEASE.

]]> By: sukhjeet kour http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-101218 sukhjeet kour Thu, 22 Mar 2012 10:32:36 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-101218 dear Dr Phil. i want to share a story with everyone.on march 8Th 2009 i came to USA along with my husband with lot of dreams from India. he was a software engineer there.after reaching there within week he started beating me.i was confined there.he was not letting me to talk to anybody.i was a educated girl.i have done masters in statistic .he was abusing me mentally and physically.there was nobody to help me.i was all alone there.i was supposed to tell my parents that am in good condition because i was allowed to call them in front of him only. i tried to escape many times but my passport and documents were with him.my condition was getting worst day by day.my whole american dreams were scattered.after one and a half year he tried to kill me.but with the grace of god police saved my life but at that time no help was provided to me by american government.i have full proofs statement of three police officers.he is still on arrest warrant. thanks sukhjeet dear Dr Phil. i want to share a story with everyone.on march 8Th 2009 i came to USA along with my husband with lot of dreams from India. he was a software engineer there.after reaching there within week he started beating me.i was confined there.he was not letting me to talk to anybody.i was a educated girl.i have done masters in statistic .he was abusing me mentally and physically.there was nobody to help me.i was all alone there.i was supposed to tell my parents that am in good condition because i was allowed to call them in front of him only.
i tried to escape many times but my passport and documents were with him.my condition was getting worst day by day.my whole american dreams were scattered.after one and a half year he tried to kill me.but with the grace of god police saved my life but at that time no help was provided to me by american government.i have full proofs statement of three police officers.he is still on arrest warrant.
thanks sukhjeet

]]> By: kimberley http://blog.drphil.com/2011/07/18/the-senate-hearing-on-domestic-violence/comment-page-2/#comment-101102 kimberley Wed, 21 Mar 2012 23:11:23 +0000 http://blog.drphil.com/?p=3022#comment-101102 Dear Dr Phil The statement of how there are no resources for men....ANGERED me I am a legally separated women......I have been denied Legal Aid,which by the pamphlet provided I should be entitled to. Women s advocacy, and Victim Services, that are offered in Canada... To be in the situation that Im in , as bad as it sounds I would have stayed in the very abusive situation that I was in rather than living on the streets which I am. I feel like I should of been in the paper found dead before my situation is to be recognized....but let me assure you Im stronger than that .....just wish there was somethng out there for a girl who left her maritlal home with no belongings to go and live in a snowbank Regards Kimberley a Fn of yours I was told to just deal with falling through the cracks. I have fallen through the cracks of all systems offered you are loooking at the next bag lady that will be pushing a cart and sleeping under bridges.. Can you help me there is more to this story its very complex but ask me anything and I give word , that what comes from my mouth to your ears is the truth o much for all my eduacation I wanted to contribute to society not cost society hence forth I apply for no welfare assistance Dear Dr Phil

The statement of how there are no resources for men….ANGERED me

I am a legally separated women……I have been denied Legal Aid,which by the pamphlet provided I should be entitled to. Women s advocacy, and Victim Services, that are offered in Canada… To be in the situation that Im in , as bad as it sounds I would have stayed in the very abusive situation that I was in rather than living on the streets which I am.

I feel like I should of been in the paper found dead before my situation is to be recognized….but let me assure you Im stronger than that …..just wish there was somethng out there for a girl who left her maritlal home with no belongings to go and live in a snowbank

Regards Kimberley a Fn of yours

I was told to just deal with falling through the cracks.

I have fallen through the cracks of all systems offered you are loooking at the next bag lady that will be pushing a cart and sleeping under bridges..

Can you help me there is more to this story its very complex but ask me anything and I give word , that what comes from my mouth to your ears is the truth

o much for all my eduacation I wanted to contribute to society not cost society hence forth I apply for no welfare assistance

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