Posts Tagged ‘kids’
Little Avery Turns 1!
I know it’s been a while since my last blog posting — I know. I know! — but I can’t resist sharing this special day with all of you. This past weekend, Robin, Jay, Erica, Jordan and I gathered friends and family to celebrate little Avery’s first birthday, and let me tell you, she had a ball!
Thank you to Mother Nature for holding off the rain, which came on Sunday. I mean, we got pounded, pouring all day with winds on the mountain up to 50 mph. So blessed we didn’t get blown away on Saturday.
What an incredible day. It’s hard to believe an entire year has gone by since that little girl came into this world and just stole my heart. Yeah, and my friends are still shaking their heads and asking what’s happened to me! HA! I admit it, she’s got me wrapped around her finger like never before — but look at her there with the cake all over her face. I know I’m biased, but is she not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?! (more…)
The Granddaughter Cometh!
As many of you may know, my daughter-in-law, Erica, will soon deliver our beautiful granddaughter.
Although most folks are familiar with calm and level-headed Dr. Phil, this granddad-to-be is quakin’ in his boots! I’ve raised two boys; I’m so out of my element. I have no idea what to do with a little girl!
When I first see my new grandchild, I’m sure I’ll be loaded down with so many Baby Gap dresses — not to mention teddy bears, baby booties and pink hair ribbons — unless she takes after her grandfather. Just kidding! By the way, I have promised Jay that I won’t be reading the little one bedtime stories from Self Matters or Relationship Rescue. There’s plenty of time for that later! (more…)
Shaping Your Kids
After posting a blog item about how Robin and I raised our sons believing that they should be able to make their own choices, I got a call from a friend who said, “Yeah, Phil, but what if you can clearly see things that worry you? After all, you have often said their brains aren’t even finished growing until years later. What do you do then?” He went on to tell me about his 13-year-old daughter who, a few nights earlier, had drained a glass of milk at dinner and said with a proud grin, “Hey, Dad, I’m learning to chug.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve gotten the feeling that she wants to try alcohol or at least has it in her mind,” he told me. “So what do I do, right now, to keep her from gaining momentum toward a bad life choice?”
Good question! So, as a parent, what should you do when you see early warning signs that your child might be headed down the wrong path?
Supportive Parent or Pushy Parent?
We had a really interesting response to our show about parents who seem to be way over-involved in their kids’ goals and dreams, and who sometimes push their kids toward something that they may want a lot more than their kids do. Several of you wrote to ask how Robin and I raised our sons. How much did we push them to succeed when they were younger? And when did we pull back and say, “It’s time to let them make their own way”?
It’s tough to know where the line is, even when you spend your whole life in the world of human functioning. Seems you lose a little — actually a lot — of objectivity when it is your relationship with your own kids that you are assessing and managing! As parents, we all want to teach our children to be responsible, yet we also want them to be self-motivated. It really bugs me when I see parents pushing their kids toward their wants and living vicariously through them. It is sad for both parent and child. I’ll give Robin and me credit and say that I think we actually did dodge those bullets. (more…)